it appears that its all happening again....

again, i kept asking myself wat had i done? i dun have any control over things and ppl just want it their way, cant they even give me a little face or space? i know im in no position to negotiate cos i havent settled the amt but hey its not as if i get to hang out with new ppl, new frens all the time....

monday mark the end of our course, one of them proposed a makan session if all is free and if the lesson doesnt end late, probably just nearby, a drink at least. i had the intention to take fotos and i intend to give it back end of the week at the wedding but it seems that my suggestion just spark off anger and all. im not whining anymore, im so used to being treated like this, sad but im like immuned to it, the pain is just as if like an ant has bitten me but the anger contained beneath me is unbearable. wat have i done to deserve all this for the past few years. ppl never fail to push me ard, never fail to discriminate me and some even treat me like an outcast. for those who knows my history for the past few years wouldve known, its not only my outside life but home hadnt been good as well. my close frens wouldve known.

im not asking for sympathy, just a mere understanding n to give me at least some space and face. well its like already asking for sympathy aint it?

i oredi dont have a life now, my life revovles ard work and my entertainment are either sessions on my pc with pals or at alif's with the boys. gatherings outside is a rare occassion for me as cash is hard to come by nowadays and frens too are busy with their work as they themselves are trying to survive. i don't have a life like u, i know theres nothing special about urs but at least its better than mine right?

try being in my shoes, try being me just now on a wonderful saturday, n wat did i do?.....

it appears that so far, what i wanted most of them i couldnt have, why situations are rather cruel towards me n some of my frens?...but watever it is, ill never give up and admit defeat.sacrifices i made, almost alot tt i did, i dun believe most ppl oredi did......i dun wanna elaborate cos ppl would say im exaggerating stuffs.

anyway gd nite peeps....may ur luck n mine be better....insyaallah....