gosh

gosh....my hps dead.....looks like i have to spend wats left on a new phone...ouh wells, i can use a phone up to 2years...so yeah...the only thing is, im worried i might be tempted to get iphone or the x1(thnks april for reminding me) when i get my real pay starting end july......so i was contemplating between k850i or just an ordinary phone. ouh wells, im going hunting for a phone later....

yeah april....ure a happy pill my cili padi....thnks for being one...

grace kelly

stolen

i stole josiah lemings from april....hehehe from her blog actually....
i saw him on teevee before....and saw him on ellen's show...he's awesome and makes me wanna own a keyboard....hahahah

anyway gnite april....i go to bed first yah.....

and i guess i just have to steal the lyrics from her blog as well...heheheh who knows you guys wanna sing a long....cos i did..hehehe...

I showed up at her door
no gifts or explanations for
the way that i've been acting
for the time just kept on passing
i tried to kiss her lips
she said lets put an end to this
a simple overreaction
it sent my head into a backspin
i dont know where to run
to run

she was a teenage girl
i made sure to promise her the world
spent money fast as lightning
anything just to keep her smiling
my voice was all she heard
sentences filled with empty words
i thought i was so clever
i never knew that our line would sever
i dont know where to run
ohhh ohhh
i dont know where to run
ohhh ohhh
i have nowhere to run

i wake up on the floor
my head replays that closing door
my heart wont stop rewinding
inside clocks all out of timing
she starts to disappear
there'll be no turning back from here
when all is said and done
and i begin to run

spare a little

for those earning quite a sum....i know many of my readers have a more than average pay check....well even if you consider yours average....many are able to spare a small amt. so why not....its not for me but for the victims of the latest disaster Cyclone Nargis in Myanmar....think of how fortunate we are right here in sg....u can make donations via IBanking....just lift those fingers or you can walk in....check out redcross.org.sg. :)

goodnight and go

another dose of imogen heap, live at the david letterman show....

if i had a chance

if i had a chance to meet imogen heap, i would tell her this...."thanks for making my day on rough and tired days....your music is god-sent...." then i would give her a peck on the cheeks.....LoL.....ouh my god i cant believe im still watching her video for dunno how many times oredi....her voice....lovely.....



(Just for now) (x6)

It's that time of year,
Leave all our hopelessnesses aside (if just for a little while)
Tears stop right here,
I know we've all had a bumpy ride (I’m secretly on your side)

How did you know?
It's what I always wanted,
You can never have too many of these
Will ya quit kicking me under the table?
I'm trying, will somebody make her shut up about it?
Can we settle down please?

It's that time of year,
Leave all our hopelessnesses aside (if just for a little while)
Tears stop right here,
I know we've all had a bumpy ride (I’m secretly on your side)

Bite your tongue
Deep breaths
Count to ten
Nod your head
(sniff sniff)

I think something is burning,
Now you've ruined the whole thing
Muffle the smoke alarm
Whoever put on this music
Had better quick, sharp, remove it
Pour me another
Oh, don't wag your finger at me

It's that time of year,
Leave all our hopelessnesses aside (if just for a little while)
Tears stop right here,
I know we've all had a bumpy ride (I’m secretly on your side)

Will ya get me outta her, Get me outta here, Get me outta here (repeats til end)
Just for now
Just for now (repeats)

sori april

yeah....my hp was on silent at work....and i didnt realise theres a miss call...i headed to coffee shop after work as my frens were there for just chit chat and a cup of coffee or tea.....was happily laughing and chatting away that i totally forgot to switch on my hp, until i got home i saw i got a miss call from april....well, i hope youre ok, im sorry, didnt realise u called....:(

dream i did

i had difficulty sleeping....im super sensitive to the surroundings, so i plugged in to coldplay and radiohead....and next thing i knew i was dreaming,

the dream roughly:
there was a couple of ppl around.....i remembered i taking exams(ihopeitsnotabadsign), then funny part, the girl beside me just realised she got a primary school maths paper instead of what we were suppose to have which i do not know wat....ouh ya we were in uniforms...so yeah...
then suddenly next thing i remembered was, i met zaki with some babe(face i didnt recall), he offered to sell me his boardshorts, reef i remembered, a rare design i suppose....and he offered to let me take over his LAMBRETTA....in shades of brown and gold exactly like my vespa which i sold last year.....ouh my gosh....i woke up just as i was inspecting the scooter, touching it from end to end....

i love my dream, except the first part kinda scary, i hope its not some sign i have to sit for exams again.....i hope fate will be kind on me....i really hope cos i hate to sit for another exam again with work and all....its tough to divide time...really, my job is not deskbound, even doing the staff-nurse role, i have to help out with my juniors and 8 hours of standing? you desk bound workers are spoilt.......

the rain woke me up this morning, not the alarm on my handphone, thanks God for bringing the rain....its been warm for the past few days but please stop before 12noon cos i need to get to work and i never liked riding wearing a raincoat in the rain.

4 more weeks and itll be over....it will determine i pass or fail this final clinical placement....if i do clear everything....im going somewhere by hook or by crook.... nearby2 also nevermind, im going....alone also i dont care......just sit back chill and relax....

end...

sleep

farnie....i used to think dreamy songs will get me sleepy but infact they got me glued to imeem and youtube...the source of free music, can listen, can watch but cant keep... good nuff....cos i cant listen to music at work like i used to when i was a cook at 6th avenue.....i would be doing that again if i have a restaurant or a store of my own... LoL......i still remembered someone who said to me to stop dreaming...well, i still have that dream going on....who knows right one day? People like sheikh is an inspiration, his small skate-store grew now....kudos pal...and thanks for still hanging my DIY t-shirt in your store, love you pal for doing that....i promise i will update the myspace for ur store u asked me to maintain...

anyways, i hope im blessed with wonderful dreams later.....im all alone now...its cool to be living alone...and i wish to have my own place soon....and i can imagine again what it would be like, go ahead and say im dreaming again...i dont care cos its amusing me and it pleases me to see what my future could be and its possible, just that i have to work hard for it......

my fren asked me if i wanna join her busking...i feel its kinda cool....i will join u pal, when i get my license for nursing....now im pretty busy to brush up on guitar and all....its a cool idea to give back to the community in monetary means and entertainment...and at the same time, we are enjoying ourselves...in life, theres no point doing something that you dont enjoy or gain satisfaction from it.....life is pretty complicated, u have to weigh it urself, well some things like work are unavoidable but u can always choose a job that u enjoy doing....for me, im loving nursing more and more each day, the human aspect of it.....not the paperworks and all. but hey at least im loving a part of it......just like cooking, why i can stay there for like a year....cos i love doing it....i only left to search for something that can give me a brighter future....but too bad engineering didnt give me an opportunity to shine, nor teaching....i loved teaching for that 6months while it lasted but too bad MOE decide to reject my application....and that freelance job i almost got, too bad i got a little greedy too early....so here am i turning into a nurse and for at least 3years im going to be a nurse full time....and part time who knows wat....a street performer perhaps? a freelance photographer or maybe an owner of a sick store selling cool stuffs like sheikh's who knows.....i know who knows....God....

gnite peeps....

fucken awesome

she is fucken awesome.....if only she'd come to sg, id go to see her.....enchanting music....all by herself...



she melts me again.....i think she is awesome.....fucken awesome

good boy

today sid is a pretty good boy....ouh wells....he woke up early, laze around...get online and went to sleep again....woke up at around 3pm, went down to wash my bike, which very well needed to be washed....washed the toilet....cleaned up and organize my room a little, iron 3 sets of uniforms....my off day spent finishing up chores....

the nurse manager of 5A was kind enough to change my saturday to AM shift so i can enjoy longer off days....sunday is my off day and monday is vesak day.....woots... thnks sister Ho......im planning to go out shooting.....i think ill plan with my camera pals....kinda miss them too....but that depends if they are unoccupied....but i got a strong feeling theyd be free.....

well...i ate like a pig at dinner just now, western chick rice and a packet of fries... well thats pretty ok, cos i only ate 2 slices of bread in the morning.....i saw mitsubishi challenge on teevee and i think one of the malay girls look alot like april..heheh

okla....i wanna prepare my log book for tumoro....adios pals....

nusic for my frens

they are really nice music, not mainstream, so probably you've never heard of them, got the name of the artists from a skate video, yeah, skate videos are rather mellow nowadays, no more angsty music....a good mellow music is a great change...

ouh wells...

hey, no doubt im disappointed but hey its ok....i had one of those days when i just wanna recollect myself, stay at home just do a self reflection, blast music off my tiny earphones, singalong, well do pretty much anything to cheer myself up. and all that while trying to juggle with exams last october, i had to move out, find a place of my own and all....and lucky i managed to clear my exams as well...

well nuff bout that....regarding parents, its normal for them to get worried over their kids, furthermore ure the only child. and them get stereotypical.....well, i dont blame them. the majority makes them stereotypical....just like the blacks, ppl always see black ppl as bad ppl....and in singapore....all malay boys are mats....and whats more if they ride a motorbike, worst.....its cos of the many around us....the negativity usually is more vivid and loud compared to the positive aspect....i mean like you obviously notice those mats who whack their throttles to get attention, who speeds on tiny roads, who sports tattoos all over than a malay boy who rides his bike to and fro work only right? well, i guess they are just worried....it would piss me off as well if i were in your shoes.

my mom, were always ok with my frens probably im a boy and she trusted me. but my uncles and aunties they too stereotype, judge and all....i remembered when laila rented a room at my uncle's place when she ran into problems....she came back late and all and my uncle began to judge her....i was mad, angry and regretted that i got laila to rent my uncle's place, if i had known id help her look for a place elsewhere... i guess thats part of the reason she talk less to me nowadays, she never even say hi on msn, well sometimes she does, just sometimes.....hahaha but i still remember how laila smiled over the webcam...such a joy to see ppl smile.....and you guys should too....

i told this to sarah, a fellow december baby....well she's now flying all around the world...yalah stewardess dok....i had rough times back in 2004...not only family stuffs but my bgr as well....i told sarah what i did to cheer myself up...look in the mirror long enough and start to make funny faces to myself...i ended up laughing at myself...i know it sounded mad...but tt was wat i did....sarah, laughed her ass off.. God, now that im mentioning my old frens, i start to miss them...the natters, the chats, the whines, the exchange of laughters and joy, the cheering up of each other, the encouragements and all.....now on my msn, there are left a few who still does the same, the rest are pretty dead when they are online, partly cos now they only get online at work...well, times change.....ppl get busy

well watever it is, cheer up my fren....dont dwell upon it too much....and regarding the staff at work...this is the trick, u start smiling....they'd feel awkward believe me....speaking from experience....although they might not smile at u back(sometimes they does after repeated attempts), they'd feel awkward and try to walk away from you, believe me.....i got this nagging auntie in my ward, a HCA(healthcare assistant), she's very particular bout little details, i told her nicely and i smiled, she's till angry and naggy but lesser and she managed to pull a little smile...and before i left work that day, i said thanks to her...she smiled again...:)

hope u get better.....:)

awesome skate video

DVS shoe company was awesome nuff to upload a 23minutes long skate video on their podcast, awesome video, worth the wait of downloading it.....its like a couple of hours of downloading over a couple of days but hey a free skate video that long? and it was an awesome production....with the perfect mellow music that we rarely hear...nice music, nice tricks, talented skaters...thats all on my sleeping day.

for those whose not in the nursing line, sleeping day is a day when u try to get all the sleep u lost over the last 3days of night duty.......its like an off day 'cept that you're too exhausted to spend it like an off day, you'd just end up sleeping for like half a day.....hence, the name sleeping day.....

still with nursing...you know wats most satisfying with my job? the patients' thanks and smile....thats when you feel appreciated most...ok im not gonna whine but in my life, appreciation is hard to come by, i even got cheated, stabbed in the back, talked bad about by gossip mongers and what nots even for the nice things ive done...cos that things ive done is negligible compared to my flaws in their eyes.....but these patients, when they are helpless in bed, attending to them with a smile, sincerity and care although your eyes are bloodshot red from the lack of sleep makes them appreciate you....i guess when you're ill, 'trapped' in a hospital, then only you think about the people who cares about you...

im not new to the hospital...as a little child mommy told me that i had fits before and that was my first trip tot he hospital excluding the day i was born larh......then the next time i was in a hospital was when i had a knee surgery.....my frens, my ex gf , my family visited me and when they are gone, i feel the love and i miss them and made me really appreciate them. humans have one great flaw, somehow or another they have this difficulty to express their appreciation but the least you could do is not to repay them will ill-treatments or watnots......ok back to the hospital stay, apart from the nurse being gorgeous and all, her smile, her effort to question my comfort was beyond awesomeness, it brings you this priceless feeling and even if there was a price tag, itll be like meters long in figures......

what im trying to say is, ppl take for granted for what they have around them be it stuffs or people, they abuse them, they make use of them and they took it for granted that they will always be around its becos humans nowadays are too preoccupied and never do a reflection upon themselves....

i dunno why i experienced so much negative stuffs in life...ok, probably for the sins that ive done but what about when my parents get separated when i was only two and when i had to live a latch-key kid lifestyle during my childhood and lack fatherly love and even mommy had to work to feed us both, im thankful though at least i got mommy and not an orphan....i dont really have a terrific life but sometimes i remind myself that there are others who have worst off just to make myself not to dwell upon things unnecessarily. it helps, it lifts u up, it consoles and it comforts yourself and it makes you appreciate YOUR life even more.

frens really do come and go, im not saying i dont have swell frens, i have but under the circumstances of life, they have to leave to live their own life, work for their own future, play their own role.....its sad but hey, its life....

my word to all is, say thanks bring your ego level down a little, you just dont know how the person who receive it feels...being a nurse i get many thanks everyday and that makes me satisfied knowing that i make a little difference to their lives daily, even that little smile they returned are priceless and thats what keeps me going for the rest of the shift, that outweighs the many tasks, the difficult staffs and many more negativity....im glad i chose nursing cos appreciation and satisfaction is hard to come by elsewhere.

working become less of a job when you find satisfaction in it...i know i will not become a nurse forever, i just know, i know after i have save enough money i will do something else that ive always wanted though im not pretty sure of what it is... but then again the circumstances of life might prevent me from doing so...well who knows.. i got the answer....God knows...

this is a pretty long entry but im just saying what comes to mind and its not like something that you composed, its spontaneous and its frank. i hope u dont get the wrong idea, i dont demand for the 'thanks' but i just want to remind you how it makes a person feel and how much it means to them and how much they will appreciate you in return, its a cycle and its a healthy one, so stop being ignorant cos we need each other to survive, humans needs each other.....they are not solitary beings....

when he got infatuated

well, im talking bout photography.....im on films since last year august....ive never turned back cos, i like what film gives me....and cos i havent been seeing really good local works until lately.....as i surfed around photoblogs, i am seeing more and more talented local photographers and they are non-professionals....that urged me and really psyche me up to plunge into the digital world....but being cashless that have to wait. anyways looking at great shots by local amateurs is confirm, chop that i will get a dslr probably by end of the year.....canon or nikon, thats another story.....

i wanna capture mood, capture emotions, capture beautiful ppl and places, capture history and many2 more not only on film but digital as well...i wanna print all my favourite shots and make a room of my future home a giant photo album...photography's awesome...and im not talking bout camwhoring....

in a world of my own

am i in a world of my own? what if i could be who you wanted?...

gosh...

im cultivating eyebags....due to the graveyard shift....tonights my last night whereby 2days off will follow thereafter....woots....but unluckily, aprils on pm shift that two days but hey, im looking forward to next sunday with her....i bet itll be the best sunday by far....i hope...too early to say, anything may crop up...but hey, woots..and wats more i havent been shooting...i guess id wanna finish more rolls of mine...that was already loaded...

high and dry

Two jumps in a week, I bet you think that's pretty clever don't you boy.
Flying on your motorcycle, watching all the ground beneath you drop.
You'd kill yourself for recognition; kill yourself to never ever stop.
You broke another mirror; you're turning into something you are not.

Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry
Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry

Drying up in conversation, you will be the one who cannot talk.
All your insides fall to pieces, you just sit there wishing you could still make love
They're the ones who'll hate you when you think you've got the world all sussed out
They're the ones who'll spit at you. You will be the one screaming out.

Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry
Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry

It's the best thing that you've ever had, the best thing that you've ever, ever
had.
It's the best thing that you've ever had; the best thing you've had has gone away.

Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry
Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry