still unsure

i took the job cos i had no choice....mainly financial woes, im oredi 26 i cant rely on anyone...gotta be independent...i got a feeling that the job will be boring but ive got no choice....

into the 2nd day....i was adapting....except i find it a drag.....maybe bcos i have yet to do my real job.....as a supervisor....responsibilities...etc....im just like a stacker for the 2 days....replenishing stocks....forwarding...etc.....

like i said before....i have to work for at least until i settled everything or got a better job....that i guess will take at least 4-5months....hopefully by then i can already adapt and find the job much more enjoyable.....u see guys, money is not everything....even if u got a reasonable pay, the job u do u does not enjoy, its still unsatisfying...this is human...we cant help it but feel that way......

the manager was giving encouraging comments and frequent taps on the shoulde does boost morale....he even said that all the TLs stand a chance to get promoted and hopefully to the post of a manager, depending on their performace and so on...

i was thinking, even if i dont quite like the job....id stay for at least 6mths to a year by then at least id have something to put on my resume and does not show that im just a job hopper who never gets satisfied.....and probably i could move on from there, apply other retail jobs...or customer service line, which is much more enjoyable.....or probably my will to try what faizal told me to will reap in profits....then i could stay and know at the back of my head that im earning extra money on top of my boring job.....see, this is all in the future...its still uncertain, so ill just wait and take each day slowly.....

my ultimate goal is, to live comfortable....not meaning to be wealthy....just comfortable......

gnite peepz....

1st day at wgv....

my 1st day as a TL(team leader/supervisor) at a real supermarket....at WGV(woodgrove) branch......the place, quite a distance from my home....but bcos of work/money, i had to do it......

i came half an hour early.....like they say 1st impression counts.....i was super nervous....but i went in anyways....the manager was ok...at least for just now...but he asked me one question...why me a mechanical engineering dip holder in retail? i explained.....he then said why HQ didnt think that there might be a possibility that i would leave or quit if i got a better offer....i told him its been 6 mths and i havent got any engineering offer till now....or any successful interview...and then he went...OOoooooOoo...he smiled....in managers...wen u see one smile...id take that smile as a good indication that he's pretty ok....i can sense that racism is still at large..
the other race...some of them....look at me in a diff way, wen the manager introduced me to them as the new TL.....i cant blame them, im the minority. so does 2 of the existing TLs...they speak in chinese wen they talk to each other, in front of me.. i mean like im with the 2 of them, they can very well let me join in the conversation.
ah yong, the malaysian TL was much better, he was super friendly and told me wat to do and stuffs...until at lunch time when he starts talking about hitler....i think his childhood dream was to be a historian...it seems that he knows so much about world war one and germany....hehe he's 34 btw....
i spent the day mcm a retail assistant....stacking goods....replenish, forwarding.... basic housekeeping of a supermarket...yong told me, its to familiarise me with the store and products...and we TLs too must help out....on top of the other tasks... so thats why the bigger paycheck....
overall first day was pretty ok.....the way home was slow.....i think id need another bike thats much faster if i were to be permanent there....herman....pls dun sell away ur nighthawk yet...hopefully...by august i can take it over....

weird dreams....

i guess i was looking forward to a holiday if there will be....i was asking the guys last night about bali....mana wasnt enthusiastic....i am cos i like bali and i found a fren, diana who would be going there in sept & december.....anyway....i woke up dis morning.....after a weird dream...we were all in bali, shareil, adil, mankey, lin, basically the guys at alifs yest....shahrul joint us later....with betik, thats the weird part, shahrul was with betik...she's married sak...but anyway its a dream.. i shared rooms with shareil....i bought kites for my siblings from the peddlers outside our room but had no money to pay so i told them tumoro.....then i sat in the room...shareil was washing tevee.....then a knock on the door...a balinese boy handed over 2 coconuts cut at the top to reveal its water.......shahreil splashed one across the room....and pour the other into an altar and drunk the rest.....that was the weirdest....tts tt i cant remember the rest of the details....

was at lunch, i know queenstown muslim food is going to be closed for a week...but i stayed at that coffee shop cos its less crowded than the next one....i ate my nasi goreng merah ikan bilis hungrily....drinking my bottled plain water(to save money) to down the not so delicious indian food...but as i was hungry, i finished the plate clean...i walk off immediately after my drink as i was never comfortable sitting alone...as i walked i saw pakcik sitting down dazed...probably thinking about some stuffs...i want to tegur...but i hesitated cos he seemed in his own world and i do not want to disturb him....i wanted to smile but he never blinks....so i just walk off...perhaps tumoro i can greet him.....still got 40 minutes of break time... decided to catch free news at the library....grab a newspaper...sat n read...i turned my head....at the noise at the cafe.....then i saw bedah...i wanted to say hi but then again, i hesitated....didnt want her to think im some psycho or stalker....so i left the library thinking if i did the right thing....anyways it doesnt matter anymore cos they have got nothing to do with me anymore....

i told aisha, i saw her dad n sis....but she wasnt in a mood to speak.....its ok, ive had days like that too....in this world....one could be having so much fun and all, while another could actually be drowning with sorrow or problems....to all the latter.....i hope things will be better for u guys....cheer up....

training....was a little tough...but the trainer commended me....cos i did quite well, ....happy but i do not know how ill fare tumoro...its a 3hour test...sheesh..

i was happy at first in the morning wen i asked doris, she told me theres only 2 shifts, 0730-1500 or 1500-1030.....until i overheard a supervisor setting schedules... there are in fact more than that....i hope my branch only has 2.

i saw the supervisor from jurong east, she was working as a supervisor jus about ten years ago, when i worked part time.....it made me wonder why is she still a supervisor...then wei tat told me, probably last time she just promoted and now shes level4, he also said "u know la even army takes a long time to promote one....10 years then staff seargent one...." and i was like "okay..."

the max pay for TLs is abt 1.8k....if itll take me ten years to get to 1.8k is not worth it...ill wait a year and see my increments....but anyways come next year, im having a back up plan....im doing part time marketing...at my own free time, i know some of u dispise this but hey, im doing it out of income...so why not right? and probably ill be doing heavy ebaying and yahoo-ing to add on to my income...come next year...its good source of extra income at minimal cost, why not right?....gotta go guys...c ya...

almost shut down

i almost shut down my pc, wen i realised i havent jot down on my little online diary...yeye...hehe.....

training was pretty ok until it gets boring and the stupid aunties asked stupid questions. im starting to feel the responsibilities of being a supervisor, when they kept saying anything press the buzzer for the TL(thats me the supervisor aka team leader) sheesh.. we are like heros for the cashiers........or rather the scapegoat..... 8 hours was rather long....i hope tumoro not as boring...but doris said her brother said itd be tough cos its memorising the whole day, and cashiering...ull be standing most of the time...ugggh!....nvm that at least most of the brainless peeps wont be around....i got a feeling id not like ntuc...but im keeping it positive...and im keeping my mind straight earn money....to make someone's dreams come true....as u know my bike is half paid....if i pay the other half by say november, someone will get engaged....i want that to happen, well actually to relieve myself of loans and debts.....

today 28th june lysda celebrated her 20th bdae....i had no gift for her...and i never attend her bbq last saturday...the least i could do was sing her a bdae song....im glad she appreciated it....wish u all the happiness gurl.....dun forget to wish me back on my bdae..harharhar....

met jabrielingahe, jabrulingahe, mr & mrs mankey and adil(shit cant think of a name for him!).....short session at alifs...but the laughters provide some colours to the bored day...ehheh.....

chatted with hidaya n her fren faizah...the gossip kakis...hahaha.....they never fail to instill some laughter in our conversations....u guys are my latest gossip pals on msn....harharhar....

oh i was looking forward to eat lunch at aisha's parents' stall...but her dad was sick and they'll be closing for a week......i miss that yellow gravy thingy...lemony thing...wat was it called?...oh well not my rezki...anyway, pakcik, get well soon yeah....dun smoke anymore la...:)

gnite peeps gotta go, update ya again tumoro.....oh mom(she knows im dead broke cos ive been selling away my shoes n stuffs) gave me 50bucks katanye buat sangu keje....tima kasih mak......sayang mak.....nanti didiq dapat gaji, blanja mak makan eh.....:)...kish2.....:)

a new journey ahead

tumoro, marks a new week, a new day, a new job, a new task......
i will start work tumoro, probably my 4th or 5th job since ord....i will be the branch supervisor aka team leader at woodgrove's NTUC as of tumoro. i know its nothing glamourous but its a way to keep me going, surviving, keeping independent. it also means i will start clearing all my loans and my outstanding bills......it also means i will start saving up again and replenish my account which i have used up. it also means id be getting new stuffs for myself...it also means id not be as miserable as i use to be. alhamdullilah.....

in this world, this temporary world, anything could've happened....anything, expected or not, sometimes things happens beyond our will....sometimes it never turn out wat we expect it to be.....

im sori, lysda i didnt turn up last night, i was broke and i just dun feel comfortable mingling with a crowd i didnt know, had i known mankey were there, i wouldve drop by. thnks anyway for the invitation, im sure u had fun....happy birthday in advance..

speaking of which, days past, i get older.....so soon, ill be 26....and in 4 years time ill be 30, its like just yesterday wen i was still in school, still having fun..
suddenly i feel like ive grown.......im so worried....the fear of another transition in life.....how is it like to be a real adult....that i will find out....

time flies....like the saying goes, time & tide waits for no man......i have to start preparing...im not getting any younger....i have to prepare for my future...etc.....

this is life....reality...stop dreaming sid, lets go....