help

i think right, this time round i really need help...no i mean guidance...nope im still sane mind u....

enlightenment....

ouh bro, i guess i pass la...ill watch the dvds i rented(free) eheheh thnks iskandar.
or maybe id still go...haiz depends la....

im not in the right of mind....and nobody's offering me help or comfort....i still im not yet independent...hurhurhur....

ntah

many things running thru my mind....yes it might seem minor but its bcos one thing leads to another....its very hard for me to trust ppl....especially wen in my life, ppl i trusted has taken my trust for granted....my best fren in sec school actually stabbed my back....and then so on and so on, i shall not mention cos the rest is rather unpleasant.

yes u might say i overeact but wen i put trust in someone, it means alot bcos for me, trusting someone is really difficult bcos of my past experience, till now even amongst my circle of frens....i trust the few that is closer to me only...the rest, id rather keep things to myself....cos i know itll spill or leak or sumthin like that....and i know some do talk behind my back....

i shant continue i hope he/she understands...its bcos its not the first time, tts why im really affected by it...

i dunno la im tired yet i dont feel sleepy....u know wat i feel like doing now? skate..
just channel the negativity out....

alisha putri(forgot her middle name) was ubber cute...the almost 2year old really got me smiling, laughing and observing at her antics....alisha u cheered me up today u know...and of course the guys la.....unknowingly u guys made me feel a little better.

i just took papers on behavioral modifications and abnormal psychology....maybe i should apply wat ive learnt to myself....

hmm

if i had known, i wouldnt have cooked that packet of instant noodles...

been a week since i went habib....ahhh shouldve not eaten and eat that chic-chop instead.

im lost...dunno...its like hard for me...i need directions....

sigh it looks like its going to rain.....uggghhhh

worst

this is even worse than the exams....the questions that i cant get answers even in any text....

i just wanna know why thats all...

probably i over-reacted but hey it hurts.

i still dunno wats the outcome...i just cant weigh...

anyways, monday is another series of attachments....and i think the next placement is just appropiate...IMH hurhurhur...i think im going crazy...reality does make ppl crazy sometimes...

failed again...

sigh....she showed no remorse...

i last shed tears on raya morning....cos i now am living alone, i hugged mom, although i know i will still be visiting her whenever im free but still id not be living under a roof with the mom i loved....

i controlled, i hold them back but my eyes grew teary...i try not to make it roll down my cheeks cos big boys dont cry and i shall not...im just shaken and shivering and really upset + disappointed + shock.

the worst thing is....when i wanted it to end...'do watever u want..'

im shattered...

hmmmftttt....i dunno wat to do....i hope i made the right choice, it hurts but i guess its for my own good.

sigh

finally an internet connection but somehow it doesnt make me happy at the things i discover....

small2, little2 things also need to lie? disappointed, real disappointed....i think i give up already.

lets forget about all that crap, i dont care anymore....i dont like to be like under electroshock therapy every now and then...

enough for that....my exams....oh wells....its tough alright....i studied, i did but i guess i just never absorbed or it wasnt sufficient enough....but hey...im hoping for the best....

i wanna carry on with life....i wanna confront and ask why...im prepared for the worst, things cant carry on like this....anymore....it hurts me too much.

sigh

aiyah....dunno la....dun feel so good nowadays

living alone, pros and cons...

my shoulder hurts....sigh....id wanna skate again and its been raining....

t-shirts....i guess gonna spend money again....but id wanna be someone...yes money not everything but i just wanna be there, make a name for myself be someone....ambitious? yeah....im a capricon...wat do u expect...i just hope the december friday shodown really happens....

im getting 2 requests of my t-shirts from 2 local kids, total strangers, not fren2... a good sign....good sign indeed...slowly...hopefully itd pick up...i only need to come up with designs that appeal to the skateboarding community primarily...

gonna print a couple more for the veteran crew....we'll see la how...maybe friday ill borong bossini tees....printing for those requesting...

things hasnt been well.....differences in opinion...oh wells, ill take everything in a stride....but i just dont agree on that principle of hers....thats all

hahaha so what if someone called my pal, gay partner....watever la eh..but even if he's gay, he's a great gay...wen i felt down, i smsed him, he replies......sometimes you just need channels to vent....i blog, i draw and i seek those who i can trust.