Kawan

Ahli Fiqir

Hehehe...Ahli Fiqir pon I like! hehehe cos of their lyrics and catchy beats partly. The fusion of classic music with hip hop is really cleverly done. The malay proverbs they add in to their lyrics also amazingly blend in. And what's more their song is something we all can relate to. Just like the previous video I posted, 'Angguk2 Geleng2'.

BEP

hahaha I don't really like most mainstream music due its sole effort to sell records and thus lose the real touch, they are more concern about getting people to hear their records I feel(at times lah). But anyways this one is a good one to run to, hehehe maybe will be part of my run list. This morning it just keeps the adrenalin pumping positive somehow.....:) plus the video's pretty cool! =) and fergie's hot! Lol

Alhamdullilah

Allhamdullilah, clearly AllahuAkbar. God is great, I passed 27/30, pretty good for a first try. When I went to work a kind soul actually told me what to expect and what roughly they would ask, I read thru yest but now I know where to focus on and his tips were very fruitful although I can say the test was pretty easy cos most of them came back to mind with ease. It's amazing how even a non-muslim can actually be so kind to a muslim and I didn't even ask, I merely asked him where the venue of the test is, he offered help. Thank God.

I said before the horoscope section is more like an entertainment to me but at times it coincidentally matches with what is going on. Like for today, gee its like a sign of what exactly I should do. Of course I am not taking guidance from a mere horoscope, it is wrong to do so in Islam but in my prayers I did ask for help and maybe this is just the help I needed, a sign, a suggestion I could use.

This was what appeared on the Life section of the Straits Times. I am amazed of its relevance by God's will this purely coincidental incident does tally.

Capricorn-'An odd comment comes your way, most likely pretty late, that you need to force yourself to ignore -- or at least to see the lighter side of! You've got the maturity to handle it, and things should settle down soon.'

Even a good friend of mine that I seek yesterday told me, simmer down and take that insult as a constructive criticism. Thanks dude.

I think I have to teach my loved ones to ignore as well, although its easier said than done but I guess and I hope itd work that way. Let them enjoy their fun, let them enjoy their feast but we shall not be eaten alive. When it reaches there we WILL defend ourselves. Even our last Prophet Muhammad said something like " ....Do not oppress and DO NOT BE OPPRESSED" I guess there is a time when we have to stand up.

And lastly again said by our last prophet:
"It is unworthy of a Muslim to injure people's reputation; it is unworthy to curse anyone; it is unworthy to abuse anyone; and it is unworthy of a Muslim to talk vainly."
— Prophet Muhammad

"Do not say that if the people do good to us, we will do good to them and if the people oppress us, we will oppress them but determine that if people do good to you, you will do good to them and if they oppress you, you will not oppress them."
— Prophet Muhammad

“Say what is true, although it may be bitter and displeasing to people."
— Prophet Muhammad

:)

At least there were some smiles today. I really can't bear seeing my wifey-to-be tearing. I kept wondering what have we done or rather I done this time round to deserve all this nonsense? And as usual, it's denial once again, the tables turned and we are the ultimate criminal eh? Alah, biarkan lah, nanti dah penatkan diam but of course la I can't take it to see my dear one to be affected. I am affected as well, I am pissed seh, what did I do to deserve an insult? I thought I made peace eons ago?

Anyways this blog is meant for me to say what I feel or rather ventilate. Yes I admit I did something wrong awhile ago but I don't see what have I done to deserve what WE are getting now. It hurts much more for my dear one to be pulled into the ditch. It hurts much more to see her tearing, sometimes I feel its my fault. I even asked one of my close fren do I really belong to that extreme category? that I deserve such an insult? I thank God my bunch of friends are not like that, although they utter nonsense half the time and the jokes they make some would find it weird or even rude but they are the most sensible bunch on earth. Simple, I said I have something important, they understood and accept my explanation and even counter offered if I can join halfway thru. Salut to them, Love you people. I guess they know what I am going thru and did went thru so thats why but then again I think they are just kind bunch of people.

I'm glad the bond we made in our relationship were so strong that this 'test' actually made us stronger. As a husband-to-be naturally I will defend her of course if she had done nothing wrong. We don't take sides and I myself had received a dose from her myself. I am tired of explaining how we are. It's just that I don't understand what had we done to deserve all this and I hate that recurring migraine for something so unnecessary. In the first place I repeat, what had we done? Is it wrong to be a little uncomfortable, a little more careful and honest? Still in my mind, what had we done wrong to deserve all this???

Frankly I'd apologize if I did, I did before and I do not have any problem in doing so if I did wrong. I don't see why my close friends can understand me not turning up for a couple of meet ups they asked and some cannot. Can't they take no for an answer? Even sometimes I had to say 'no' to Ain cos either I am too tired or too many things to handle and sometimes we had to compromise like instead of town, we just stay put around the area. I think that's the understanding we have in some of us, that's why even now almost 15years down the road we are still friends. Of course there were bumpy roads in between but we always make peace after that.

God I wish I can sleep and lay down to rest but I can't help this troubling me. I wished we didn't even take notice and I pray to You God they'd be more understanding than to straight away hurl hurtful words and in the end we still end up as the criminals. I have had enough, please....I don't wanna whine anymore. My childhood wasn't pleasant so was growing up, now I am almost there to my happiness and you want to destroy it? Who in the right mind is not bothered if she is marrying someone whom ppl think negatively off? Although wrongfully accused still, its an accusation, still the label is there yet AGAIN.

I am glad not all are like that, I am glad that some are sensible enough to figure out maybe we are just plain busy. I am glad some can take no for an answer. And I am glad that some of my friends are pro-choice, meaning allowing us to have a choice. I am glad I still have friends who are concerned and bring me to calm and told me an insult can be a constructive criticism.

I am sure God the Almighty will show us the way. I am sure there's a way although my positivity side is almost gone already, it was on the way up after receiving promising replies on first Shawal but I guess all those now is just flushed down the toilet. Tonight I go to sleep, please show me if it is me who had done wrong. If it is me, I am sorry all and including my dear Ain. If it is not me please show them that we had not done anything wrong to deserve this and never did we not tell the truth about us not being able to make it. For me, I think all this wouldn't had happened if I wasn't so naive to innocently thought what I did was ok back then.

So the question is, must we always comply, must we always please others to prevent ourselves from harm? Must we? Must we apologize for something we have not done? Must we be punished for something we had not done? I don't know la really.

Tomorrow's my e-test and I am not 1 bit bothered by it, instead I am still bothered by this issue, I am still bothered to see the look of my dear one's face, the tears welling up in her eyes and the creases the skin on her forehead forms as she tries to figure out why and tries to think of a solution and tries to instill some more positivity into me. Frankly if it's not for her, bye bye is the answer but I'd still try to keep it positive but I still can't help wondering what have we done to deserve that extreme end? And it's again coming from the same source, the only one.

Nurain, if not for your strength, I do not know what would have become of us. Alhamdullilah. Amin.

OMG

just came back from night duty....sorry leo can't join dinner...heh, thnks for asking anyways.

when i went online and heard what's going on, OMG in caps....ya'Allah kenapa la eh? apa salah kita siot? bertubi-tubi dia kasi, macam perang plak......aku dah kena tak puas, skarang pasangan aku pulak kene attack.....pelik, tapi benar...

aku hairan, betul2 hairan, tak sangka, betul2 tak sangka. tapi apakan daya, apa nak buat. biarkan sajalah, yng penting kita tau kita tak salah, yng penting aku tau pasanganku tak begitu sepertimana tuduhan yng dikenakan.

inilah dunia, apa nak buat, terima je la...cubaan....

sebut2 cobaaan teringat plak filem p.ramlee.....shahreil amcams ada p.ramlee marathon kat rumah kau one day? bagui tak idea aku? hehehehe....

okla nak main bejeweled japs, pas tu nak bobok....bangun kene study, besok ada test. betul test, kau tak salah dengar....aku cakap aku sibok kau tak percaya, nak pasang camera per kat bontot aku baru percaya? LoL......umur dah masuk 30 pun masih ada periksa, november ada presentation lagi kene siapkan, tak termasuk persiapan perkahwinan, tapi pasal nak dapat kat sponsor untuk advance diploma aku, terpaksa la buat sebaik2nye....insyahallah dapatlah sponsor...hehehehehe doakan la eh kawan2... terima kasih. Amin!

perlukah?

To think that the recent headaches(some unnecessary) came from close ones(one even blood related). It is really necessary? to pretend? I don't know la but all I know is I never step on anyone's foot so why am I appearing like the bloody ones with horns and a pitch fork? Anything wrong with being reserved and careful? Anything wrong with trying to settle all that I have now before coming back? Don't anyone understand that I plan my own wedding, hunt for everything pretty much myself, save up myself(of course some of my aunties lighten my burden a little by sponsoring stuffs such as kompang). Why can't anyone understand?

If anyone can be back to normal as if nothing happened after an incident immediately. Whoah but for me it takes time, I said before and working shifts doesn't help either. So does working shifts makes me the devil? Does being unable to comply and please others makes me the devil? Does not going to something you wouldn't enjoy make you the fucken devil? WTH. Hanya Tuhan Sahaja yang tahu.

I don't know la, there's lots on my mind to think about right now, getting married is not an easy thingy especially when ure handling it urself. But if people choose to not understand and think negatively, so be it. Aku dah tak kuasa, dah penat. Skarang nie pon mengigil tak tau asal, mungkin karena dihina, mungkin karena disalah sangka, mungking kerana dituduh pemutus silahturahim. Aku hanya mampu mengeluh kepada Dia sahaja.

Ntahla cheetah.....aku pon tak tau apa nak jadi. Cuba jadi neutral tapi kena macam2, pernahkah mereka cerminkan kata2 yng mereka pernah lepaskan? Kita boleh menipu orang lain, tapi menipu diri sendiri tidak mungkin. Kalau omputeh cakap apa tu, conscience?

Do we have to comply just to 'sedapkan' hati orang ramai? Do we? If I had something more important should I cancel it to 'sedapkan' hati orang? If it is something I do not like doing would I still comply and not say what I think? In the first place was I given a chance to do so, say what I think? I think not. So why the accusations and insults? Is it even necessary?

Me and Ain, even as a couple we take our stand. She say what she thinks of what I am doing is not right, being human it takes me a little time to analyze and after I know clearly what she is trying to say and knows that I am at fault, I apologize and try to make things better. I too do tell her what I do not like and I do make my stand and if its negative, she'd point out. The thing is both of us is so used to being frank to each other and how can that be we can't handle the truth? Do not say what you do not know is going on. Clarify before loading your machine guns with hurtful ammos. I had my say. I am just hurt, I guess the apologies that came from my heart, pagi raya doesn't even mean a thing to everyone.

By the way if you think NurAin lies, this is what I think she deserves my name more than anyone else, Siddiq(yang benar/truth). I can't even remember when she last lied.