sleepless

i cant sleep, so i here i am.....too many troubling my mind.....sigh.....

I DONT WANT A B!

damn....the mistakes ive done(in my practical test) just made it difficult to get an A.....but lucky nuff my theory, i think i scored well so overall theory + practical i got a miserable B. the reason i want an 'A' badly is because itll help me in my final exams.....itll help to pull up the marks.....this is not a drawback, infact it will make me work harder for the rest of the modules knowing tt the rest is infact a greater challenge to attain good grades, modules like bio and sociology especially..... anyway actually its a real relief to know that i got a 'B' which means i got abt 31.5%-35.5% already in my hands in the overall total..... i need at least 44.5% to get an overall 'A'! which is real tough cos tts like close to full marks in both theory and practical OR i can get around another 'B' to get an overall B.....i woudlnt want to think further than B.....at least a B is my goal.....but who knows i can do a perfect demonstration of the clinical skills...and who knows my CAP(class active participation) can score full marks......be optimistic aight?.... but still im not really happy with my grades cos i know if i were careful enough my clinical skills is close to perfect, i mean like vital signs is nothing new to me... then again, nervousness in the presence of the examiner gave everything away.....

updates, updates, i can climb stairs better but then theres a little bleeding but hey its getting better....i forgo friday tennis sessions with my fellow classmates, its for my own good...wats more, im a little feverish today....."hyperthermia related to disturbed sleep pattern secondary to stress" oh tts a diagnosis, for those who dont know, nurses diagnose patients too....not medically but any alteration in normal activities of daily living...... fun....serious... and with the diagnosis, we as nurses are to come up with a care plan to assist the client in rehab. see, nursing is not only about washing backside or feeding the patients...

shucks

being not 100% healthy just shucks.....damn....my knees, and now the irritation in my throat, my runny nose....signs, symptoms tt my body is reacting to pathogens, micro-organisms tt is trying to make me unwell....damn.....i slept and 8 and awake now!!!! im suppose to have my revision last night...shouldnt have lied on the bed knowingly dat i easily fall asleep.....blame it on the weakness.....i hate being unstrong, unrigid, untough....i guess im worn out too much.....where are the days where i fall from skateboarding come back with a limp and skate again in a couple of days later? where are the days when i flipped on my bike, chipped my tooth, deep cuts on my shin and i just pick up my scooter and scoot off just minutes after it? im not like tt anymore......uwaaaaaa.......i guess ive been putting too much energy to school tt my body doesnt have its defence mechanism anymore....damn....

mr dizy where are u....i want that bottle of spirulina......just to give me a little boost.....my sinusitis is coming back.......and i hate it......

gotta study....im studying cardiovascular system...

oh yati or shahreil, whomever reading, tell ur father to quit smoking and u too shahreil quit smoking.....its worrying to know the effects of ciggies......

phew

hey hey.....i know im relieved but dont be too relaxed more coming up... gd news, 2 more successful presentations....the health assesment, mdm chin commented our group did a good job, job well done......and wen i was presenting i actually got the attention of the class and even put on a smile on some of them.....was a great feeling....this morning's individual presentation.....ok la, gd nuff, susan said well done, MOST of the points is there...aiyah...i want to hear ALL....hahah... and another good news....the whole class managed to pull thru module 5108, mdm chin said theres some As....oooo i cant wait to see who are they....and i really hope im one of them....if not a B will do.....

haiya gotta start revising on bio.....bye....

wakey2, smell the poppy...hahah i wish

wakey2 sid.....welcome back to reality.....was asleep early so here i am up still dark, cold and eerie....

sid2.....u do ur work halfway, u get tired, u doze off and now u wake up, ull be sleepy later man...u need to last from 9-6pm....tts like 9hours....of absorption...
gotta sleep somemore....just gotta...

anyways, reality is pretty harsh at times when it hits u in the face, direct, probably above the speed limit....wham!...ya ure right, u dunno wat the hell im talking bout here....

last weeks game of tennis was a real destresser.....the 1hour or so, i was whacking the ball as if i had super strength power, i just whacked....it went out sometimes and sideways but the feel of whacking the ball....the sound of it, the look of the ball whoosh across the court and hitting the ground furiously or at the fence(hahah)
really fed my frustations, my anger, my confusions.....BUT it kinda worn off my knees, i was so dead worn out tt saturday n jus now, i felt the strain as i climbed the stairs....with my weak knee totally gone(in case u dunno i had 3 sugeries on my left knee before and it doesnt help one bit)and i basically worn out my calf n thigh muscles and thus i was like as good as a cripple....i feel sad, a little cos i know i cant skate anymore cos it will jus worsen my condition and wats gotten to me more, in my old age....will i be independent? i want to and i dont want a walking stick... i think after working a couple of years i wanna go for another sugery, a good one at the sports hospital i read about....i guess they'd do a better job than the one tt was paid for totally. ill fork out a couple of Ks for that, wouldnt mind if it means id be independent in my old age......

another worrying thing is athritis.......we learn about it last week thru a group presentation.....i hope it doesnt affect me too....im trying to study more about it and how to prevent it and trying to stop my bad habit of cracking my fingers cos itll wear out the tiny2 ligaments in there.....i hope whoever read this, do take care of ur health too.....find out ways to prevent stuffs tt might happen in ur old age....me, im just preparing myself, cos the figures kinda worry me a little and ouh a disclaimer....athritis doesnt really affect only the old....many ppl tot so, so now u know....:)

im trying to live day by day as it is, try not to stress myself out unneccessarily, like i just now, i could just sit for an hour or so and stare at the beatiful sky and the cable cars.....hehehe....if the fees for a ride wasnt ex, id love to go for a ride.....bt then again no need to waste money....the hills would do...i dunno, i just love heights....it gives u a beautiful view from the top, it gives u a bigger picture of everything.......

i think i gotta start editing on last nights work, print it out and taddaaa...few more hours of sleep before i head to school to revise on bio......gnite frens or should i say gd morning?....