Berfikir.

Islam is a wonderful religion, it never did make life difficult for its followers. It's humans themselves that created their own difficulties, what is not required and mandatory they made it so.
So they 'kill' themselves trying to meet these 'standards' they themselves made mandatory. They fear 'people talking' not God. They fear shame not God.

That's just examples.I am not pious for I am still learning AND I repeat, I am not against our culture, I am just weighing the issues as I totally don't agree in 'killing' yourselves just to 'save face' or your so called 'culture'. I just hope in this beautiful ramadhan you realize and hopefully not 'kill' your partner, yourself or maybe your parents in the process of having that mandatory reception of yours in order to carry on culture. I pity those who are made to do all those, trying to meet the standards we created.

Al Ameen

Al Ameen~ The trusted one.

Anyways, with regards to the comment made:

Adat and budaya(culture) are merely culture, it is not a must to do so if someone is financially tight. This is of course with reference to Malay weddings. In Islam, even the feast is not mandatory, it is good to have one IF you can afford it. The 'nikah'(solemnisation) itself IS mandatory.

Islam does not make marrying of two souls difficult, troublesome or burdensome to its ummah. The cultures made it so. If the masses can recognise that culture is not mandatory in Islam, I guess less couples will sin. Why they got married late and in the end commit sins which I shall not elaborate because it is about time they get married, 'legalize' their relationship BUT the pressure of culture forces them to delay in order to scrimp and save just to oblige to people who strongly believes that to carry on the culture is mandatory. These people who delay the marriages of their children in my point of view in fact encourages 'zinnah'(promiscuity) and all that is against Islam itself.

I guess you have to do your own research yourself, cos it is better if you find out and rationalize yourself first.

I am not against 'adat and budaya' but it is what that put pressure so much on couples and delayed their marriage and cause them to sin. Do you want to be responsible for these poor couples who have sinned maybe more and more due to be having to save more money just to carry on the culture or even coming up with the 'market rate' dowry some i've heard even to a whopping 12k? IS IT EVEN NECESSARY IN THE FIRST PLACE? In Islam, the dowry is to help ease the burden of the bride's side to hold a feast but then again, the bride's parents should be aware if the male is able to come up with the amount, if not how much he can afford and hold a feast accordingly within the budget. Not robbing the groom in broad daylight demanding huge amounts as though his wife to be is being held hostage.

For me myself, I am glad my future in laws are of sound mind to ask what I am capable of and what they only ask of me is to take good care of their daughter once she becomes my wife. I will come up with what I am able to(of course I try my best to come up with more because of the rising costs) for the hantaran. And my wife to be is even saving up herself to help with the feast.
The rest, the 'adat and budaya' thingy is totally up to me if I can afford it. My mom too was well enough to understand and let me handle it and do according to what I can afford. There's sponsors, well alhamdullilah, if there's not, minimal is enough.

I think that is the proper way, I don't understand why we need to be slaves to culture. Culture I believe is like an accessory to life where without it you won't go naked. If you can afford, go ahead, if not why kill yourself.

Anyways to all Muslims, let us welcome Ramadhan.

P.S. If you are wise enough to comment, I am sure you are wise enough to leave your name. And don't get others involved in your comment for it is not necessary but if it is me you are pointing out to, my point of view is as above. And for your info, I am doing my wedding within my means, sponsors are out of their own will and as gifts to me, Alhamdullilah. apologies in advance anonymous. :)

You my co-pilot

A moment of silence please for those who never get a chance.

In mine(r'ship) both of us always get a chance, to speak up that is. And had it not been for that chance we provide each other all the time, I guess I'd still be filled with negativity in this place we call earth/home where supposedly civilized human beings reside.

You have indeed been my co-pilot, steering me away from getting myself into deeper shit or trouble.

We learned alot from each other. Love ya Nurain. :)

Yippeeeee!

Got sponsors for 'berkat' and 'kompang'....yipeeeeee!

Anyways it's great that I learned peribahasa back in school cos that was one of part of Bahasa Melayu lessons I enjoyed....

Sayings like 'Kata dulang paku serpih, Kata orang dia yang lebih' will always remain vivid in mind and certainly can apply to daily life, so many can apply....like 'Makan boleh sembarang makan, cakap jangan sembarang cakap'

Anyways I'm laughing my ass off at the antics of some human beings, so......contradicting to themselves....bah....

anyways definition of antics (in case some of you don't know):

1 : an attention-drawing often wildly playful or funny act or action;
2 archaic : a performer of a grotesque or ludicrous part

Okayyyy have a great weekend everyone....love ya'all.....ouh thanks guys love ya'all....