fucken weird

today, i was sleepy tired n more....but it seems that i enjoy my work today, cos i did more of reorganizing, making sure the displays are satisfactory or nice or even better excellent, i kept reshuffling the xmas goodies to ensure it attracts customers to buy. suddenly i sorta enjoy my job....i ensured i have enough stocks, i ordered items and i even stayed a lil later to ensure everythings ok before rushing to keep everything before i prepare to head home, somehow working today gave me a sense of satisfaction to what i did.

its sad though that i dun quite enjoy this job most of the time and i drag myself to work counting hours to knock off time but at times like today, i enjoyed myself and im satisfied. im looking for another job meanwhile...theres openings in the engineering sector, something i wish to do....if else fail, i will try for nursing. i realised i need to be independent and prepare myself in the event if i were to be alone when i grow up from young to middle-age to the golden years....i gotta be prepared. there are relatives who are left alone when they are old but being independent and having alot of savings, surviving alone is a breeze, though i do not know how lonely it can get when you're at that ripe age.

the reality is, i dont wanna be alone, being almost 26 years old, ive been thru a quater of a century....seeing my frens & cousins my age getting hitched, shopping for wedding rings doesnt worry me for the present but for the future instead. loneliness doesnt bother me now much cos i have loads of frens....im only worried about the future, thats all....

anyways, im more concerned about my future right now, being financially abled and to have the spending power....thats where im aiming for...

have i grown up?

sometimes i feel im not yet independent, i mean totally independent....i still rely on others....i still sometimes take things for granted. being totally independent would require alot of effort........sheesh i dunno wat to say.....

and i dunno why ppl still think im the same? still think i merajok? cmmon la.....im home oredi, i lazy to go out one....and i bought food bungkus oredi, u dun expect me to sit along with u guys n eat my packed food in my work uniform rite?....aiyer guys, i can fall from my bike, pick it up and ride again n u guys think tt way?....hehehe farnie.....

looks like tumoro ill have to bring down my notebook, jot down the jobs available for me at the library, wanted to do that just now but i took for granted tt shahreil have a copy of saturday's paper......but anything could happen like the misunderstanding tt id go back shit than come back to alif, while i was waiting there for sometime until i call, nobody picks up so i decided to go back and ppl tot i merajuk.....of cos i go back la, wen no one answers and no one turns up.......anyway, to the library it is.......hope i meet tt cute poly(i think)girl again...hehehehe...

hmm i dunno how to break the news to my manager that im looking for a new job n i think he should request for an extra supervisor to cover aman's place cos i might be off pretty soon......and i dare not tell him cos i might not land myself a job so soon too....haiz everytime sure got this kind of decision to make one....urrghhh...

anyway the jobs i apply will decide whether i will be a nurse or not.....watever it is, i hope id get something good, if not i hope i get into nursing....

gtg peepz, gnite....

WTF!

just got TWO disappointing email...here it goes.....

email no 1.
Hi Guys,

I have some bad news to tell you all. It's been a terrible 2 weeks for me. To cut it short, SANA has decided to pull out of the project. Hence, we will not be able to continue with the anti-drug theme. We have decided to postpone the graffiti work till next year when we have found another partner to work with.

Life is such that things do not always happen the way we planned it to be. I'm quite upset that this happened as I feel that I've let down all of you who have put in your time and effort to design the wall. More importantly, the youths who have signed up the help spray the wall will also be disappointed.

I would love to work with you all again next year when the project is ready to go again. Right now, I have to say I'm very sorry to all of you. Do keep in touch! I hope you will continue to chase your dreams and do well in school! If there are ways I can assist you, please let me know ok!

--
Cheers,
Candice Chiew

email no2.

Sorry I have to reschedule another time. This Thursday's appointment has
to be postponed.

Kind Regards,

Tirso Garcia
Executive
Network Marketing
MTV Networks Asia

actions speaks louder

without actions, my thoughts are nothing....without actions, my decisions are fucken hard to make, without effort, none can move....i gotta take the power back.....my weakness, i tire after work, and i wasted hours napping and relaxing, gotta be back like few months back, where my schedule is back to back....interview after work, graf after interview, alip after graf, then only i sleep, that routine is repeated and replaced with other activities, im at home only to sleep.....and i feel more alive that way........activities have slackened(is that the way to put it?) no more strt soccer, scooter boys bz, gilera boys too, avneesh busy with his foreign graf artist, yani bz with work, me bz with stupid christmas promotions, hampers n sorts......sheesh......

i cant wait to lay my hands on the walls of the street soccer court, ive left my marks at the bukit batok skatepark. im sketching very hard now, trying to come up with something nice and extraordinary for the walls.....after all im gonna appear in media, cant shame myself right?.....its one week away before we start painting....and me, i havent come up with anything satisfactory yet. this is another chance to showcase my abilities, i dont want to call it talent cos i dont think i have one compared to many.....but just check out the court at ulu pandan after 3rd december...

i cant wait for the last week of december, ill start starving myself now, saving up for a mini holiday in malaysia at tanjung balau, a fren said she surfed there....cool eh? and the waves is like a notch below kuta@bali........i hope i have enough money for my 1week of leave.......and i hope theres someone tt will tag...bb boys, dun go KL la....go balau we can surf.....i still have yet to master surfing...:)

lastly, i wish u idiots whom i hate are computer literate....cos i wanna express wat i feel about u....if only u were literally dumb...itll be more peaceful, ur sarcasm and words just pisses me off and ure giving mom heartaches....u bastard dun let this five sided fistagon meet ur face aight?.....dun push my limits, i can do things ive never done before, those whos been with me long would know....