fast in fast out

The phrase 'fast in fast out' is what my fellow race buddies advised me on how to negotiate corners at the track, just to shave on that valuable seconds. That sounds exciting but the phrase sure doesn't sound as exciting when it is applied to your cash flow.

The last post was just filled with joy when I discovered that I got more pay than I usually have. Ouh I begin to realize its not a pay adjustment but its more of a payback of my bonuses they owe me. Cos a non confirmed staff will not get their full bonus, so yeah thats my bonus for working from August to December. Thats like 4months?

So anyways back to the phrase....why it is applicable to my cash flow now? Cos I jus went to an appointment and apparently I need to go for an MRI which will cost me like $300-$475. Depending if I do need a contrast injection or not to enhance the image.

(ouh the bloody security just told me to unplug my charger to my laptop.....damn...I guess I have to fuck off from here then...will be continuing later if my battery goes kaput and I cant find a spot to continue...)

Pay adjustments?

My pay is more that what I usually got. I wonder if its pay adjustments cos I became a confirmed staff. I will check my payslip tomorrow. Whatever it is, Alhmadullilah.....

I so want to race but I have to keep in mind my responsibilities and come June, I have to renew my insurance. So I guess I'll resist the temptation.

I'm going to the orthopaedics later, wish me luck.....I hope I just need antibiotics instead of surgery. It's not the surgery that bothers me, it's the immobility that comes after that.

I'm still contemplating whether to bring up about my finger as well....

mere human

I am after all a mere human being, imperfect by nature.
Although that's no excuse but that is indeed a fact. No matter how smart, how tactful and how knowledgeable you are, you CAN make mistakes.
For me, I was complacent, I should have been more careful.
But what is done, is done and if the guilt do lingers, I have plans in mind.

There's so much for me to do now, I seem to learn things the hard way. I always did.

On Wednesday, 25th of February is my appointment with the orthopaedics.
We are all mere humans after all, we are not indestructable, we are susceptible to illness and diseases. The verdict on Wednesday might put my career path on the line, cos I might be having to take some medical leaves if I do need another surgery.

The appointment with the eye specialist in March is another worry that has struck me. Although it is less serious in nature but eyesight is one of the most important senses to men. I worry only will it affect me in old age. I am barely 30 and all of these begins to surface. Is it a punishment for my past wrong doings? Is it another test from God to see if Mohammed Siddiq Bin Ali is strong to face the challenges in life after the sweet moments.

In life.....everything in front laid before your eyes could go missing in a split second. So while you are able to.....do what you can to help the less fortunate. For me, I did but only till recently, till I join nursing but yet again I could do more. But I guess there is always a part of humans that exists, the ignorance.

I hope God give me the strength, health and guidance to go forward. I am hoping for the best and frankly I am not prepared for the worst but I am glad I have someone to allay all my worries and anxiety. For that, I thank God, Alhamdullilah.....and I thank the people involved too, who made what's written possible.

D-Day

Last night, the sms conversations we had just lifted my confidence in you one notch. thanks.

This morning, my Nurse-Manager actually made my day! During the pass-report time, he actually pointed out me and one of my colleague that's next in line for that advance dip. I don't know what to say, I was speechless when he commended me and my colleague. Although a part of me told me that I did some mistakes that really bothered me but the other part of me just keep telling me to just enjoy the ride and in fact, stride with it so the ride's faster and smoother....I don't even know if that make sense.

My point is, I'm give an opportunity and a 'key' on the table just for me to reach out and open the doors. I need to continue working hard and make sure I do a good job at it and no mistakes or at least minimal cos we are humans after all.

Whatever it is, I am psyched up, I hope nothing screws up, InsyahAllah.

I'm going for that check up later, I hope everything will be fine....

Alhamdullilah for all that I am blessed with...