Been A Looooooong Time

It's been quite sometime since my last entry. Why? Busy la with so many things. Not really la, just that I never set time aside to blog unlike last time. Nowadays my free time are spent either with Ain, busy with work, my hobby, finding ways to earn extra(its never enough), entertaining my Dad who's currently in Singapore and lastly the 'future' stuffs. So you see, I am pretty much occupied. Sometimes I stray away to do things that's not really beneficial like just plain lazing around... LoL

Anyways things seems to fall in place although some did not go the way I wanted it to be. Whenever that happens, I am thankful enough there's always alternatives. I just hope, it does go as planned at least for the core main things I want in life. That shall remain under-covers for the time being, as I do not want to talk about something that's not concrete yet. Look at my class3 license, to date I still have yet to move my lazy ass to get it done and over with. Yes I admit I am lazy about getting that cos I have other priorities which I think are much more important to me, my future. A car is an additional asset that can wait, cos my bike still brings me to and fro work and more.

Savings is another issue currently, a major one. It's tough lah, especially when you're building the foundation to your future and especially when you are just at the start of a new career and especially when you have a rather expensive hobby like mine(though I've mellowed down and haven't been to the tracks to burn rubber) And independence is not as fun as it seems when you're living alone and having to manage everything yourself.

I am trying to get the best for my future, my life....It's been years since I live a proper life. I can't say I hate it totally cos I learned alot and I think the fact that I had to go thru so much had in fact made me very strong. I still remember the times when I survived on bare minimal because being me, I never liked borrowing or relying on others. I still remember the day I had to part with my dear scooter. I remember the day when I sold off all my motorcycle accessories cos I was jobless for almost six months. I remember staying in rental where the fridge's totally empty and having to survive on food at school and bread at home when wallet's dry. But I guess people never know the hard times, they only see the good times, my bike, my holidays, my bonuses and my new stuffs.

I am glad now that things are better although it will be alot better had I got lucky with the balloting thingy. But being me, I've not yet give up, I'm trying alternatives.

Anyways, the past few weeks, I spent certain days with Dad and yesterday I realize there's some similarities... We don't like instructions if we know what we are doing. We can survive on our own no matter how hard it is, we'll find our way. No matter what, we still respect our parents. There's more I bet. One thing I just hope that he try to get closer to the One. I hope my dad will have a better life in Indonesia after settling all that needs to be settled in this few weeks he's here. He gave me words of encouragements yesterday, 'don't be afraid to leave or venture if there's opportunities overseas'. I want to(in my heart) but I already planned something...that will come later. If it meant to be mine, it will, no matter what.

For now as in now-now, I just hope the mid-year bonus is worth even calling a bonus if there is at all. It'll be helpful for me to get certain stuffs cranking and going.

Lastly, I am very thankful I found her. I think without her, I'd feel rather empty, even today being alone, I really feel the void, I really yearn for her company. Now I know how she feels when she yearns for me and I have to work afternoon shifts or nights. I guess she's part of my strength now that keeps me going and dreaming and soon making that dreams a reality.

AND of course to all those who have loads of negativity against me or view me as something unpleasant? Well, have it your way, have all the fun you can, I don't think it bothers me. I do things my way and I know I will be there at my own pace. At least I'm no hypocrite. For in this life, I compete with myself and no one else, its unlike in a race at the tarmac when the first position is the winner. I will be a winner, in my own way. So help me God race thru this one, my own race. InsyahAllah.