"i am freaking pissed off today.. so freaking pissed!!KK called and told me to come back to work. This is not the first time anyway. I really hate it when i have to work on the off days. I can work on weekdays.. even if it is my off days but pls leave my weekends UNTOUCHED. Do you know how precious my weekends are?? I have been waiting for the 5 days to pass and it was such a torture.

I didnt get to see him and let alone talk. Even if we meet at msn, we hardly chat also.. get my point? I just dont want to work on my off days. My weekends are precious like diamonds. I just want that whole day to be mine and his alone. UNDERSTAND???"

that was taken off my darling's blog......sometimes i feel bad tt i sort of neglect her since i started school....but i do this for the future...i love her so much, knowing tt she really misses me tt much.......i asked her just now, if she's bored or felt lonely while i was away.....she does, i asked why she never call or sms me, the reason was she doesnt want to 'kacau' me.....she's so understanding, ive never met someone like her before, my past 'ones' were so petty....im glad i found her...i love her so much and i hope she'd be the one....

i wonder why....

ok liking 2 modules doesnt mean id be a good nurse or ill love nursing whole heartedly but hey, i didnt expect id be so interested in those two modules(anatomy & physiology and psychology) and i wondered why i didnt take up nursing after 'O' levels, why i was so immature to think its a girl thing.....if i were to take up nursing i think, i would be a happy nurse but hey i wouldnt know if id still screw up at tt age.....but at present, i just wanna do well....tts all and i wanna equp myself with the best of knowledge i can attain......

today yet another sacrifice.....my gilera frens wanna meet up, but i just gotta understand wats at lecture....i was satisfied and real tired in the mind...that i slept a whole good 4hours before shahreil called.....i think i overslept and wasted like 2 good hours which could be spent understanding another module....its only now tt i realise time is so precious and i actually feel it when i wasted it..... like the hours slacking last night half the time i tried to study, like the extra uneeded sleep last night, like the time surfing ebay and other online shopping or auctions, like the hour spent on my shisha.....i could go on and on...

tmoro, i gotta meet my baby after a whole week......i miss her, lots and i hope she does too...

oh before i go, heres something tt i learned and found out....phobia/fear is learnt.. and it can be unlearn....in other words it is developed...u can even fear a cute little rabbit or a lovable cat if u developed fear for it from ur childhood....
tt explains adil's fear for cats....hehe....and cockroaches......so actually u can unfear ur fears by simple therapy....but itll take time, since prob for 20 over years u were "taught" and u adapted to fearing it, watever it is...

and believe me, even though my lecturer(a psychologist) who probably believed in things tts only measurable, or in other words can be recorded down or measured do believe in the supernatural, the unmeasurable, ghosts, although up to date there still isnt a way to provide evidence tt it does exist......scary huh... well he was speaking from his experience..... ok gotta go, writing bout it is sending chills to my spine....gnite...

time flies

3 days down.....schools fun....taxing to the mind a little but still cope-able... anyways, its more pressurising to be in class with adults, mature adults...they are SUPER ON......oh my god.....im not saying tt i slack, im on the ball but they are SUPER DUPER ON and some at times SUPER EXTRA one.....hahaha....kiasuism is so evident especially in the auntie2 ones.......the younger ones you can see they are on the ball but they are not so kanchiong and kiasu like the auntie2....wah lau wei...sometimes they ask stupid questions cannot angkat sak.....but then again, cannot say so much abt them for all i know they could be scoring all their papers and assignments....for all i know they could be the top 10%...

school is packed but luckily the subjects are not that tough but they do have a level of difficulty i think partly cos i was out of school for quite some time.... but anyway, damn u im very glad i made the choice....my interest wasnt that superficial after all, its not all about the money after all....

sacrifices made.....sigh, have to discipline myself to achieve my goal.... once a week that was wat we agreed on.....its tough, cos i already miss her...but its ok, for the sake of my future......and maybe ours.......

to all who knows me, gimme your support yeah.....alright, gotta go.......

tumoro, later i mean

later, first day of school......woooohooo.....back to school....excited...

met my frens jus now....such a long time and things never change...they are still fun as ever...

met my nani.....love her lots...gonna miss her....felt like not letting her go just now....but hey, itll only be 5days before we meet again....love ya baybeh, lots.... gonna miss u....muahz.....gnite sayang....gnite ppl.....and ouh baybeats 2006... love me butch....yeah...c u music lovers down there yeah....

ok i cant sleep

i actually slept oredi but i forgot to pull the curtains close, mosquitoes start to attack my feet...ugh.....i gotta write this, it was wat happened just now...it was a weird feeling and it made me smile.....

i actually saw the person who ONCE runied my life and stole the ONCE love of my life, i used to hate him, beneath my smile i still remembered how i wanted to skin him alive.. but just now, when i saw his face, it was a total different thought & him pretending not to see me(i was very sure he saw me) with that "Oh-Oh!" kinda look made me smile even more....you guys must be asking why i smiled....i just realised its because of him that i found out that the one i used to love with all my life cheated on me, it was him tt made it possible for me to find out everything and ultimately if not for the break up, i guess i wouldnt have met or fallen in love with the so wonderful nani....i think i shuldve shook his hand and thank him.....hahahaha.....

i despise ppl like him but everything happens for a reason and for me, its a blessing in disguise.....thank god...

gnite peepz....