smell...one of the five senses

many things can bring back memories.....things....fotographs.....and even smells do u believe it?....was just clearing up my room, wen i came across this old watch....the smell on the watch, resembles the smell on a particular person....and it just brought back memories...those sweet memories....accompanied by the sweet smell of hers.... it was so beautiful back then....sigh....

rummaging thru my junks, this time round ive rounded up 3 plastics bags of junks..... they all ended up the rubbish chute.....

runny nose...sheesh....i tot it was only the effect of the dust and my ultra sensitive nose but i can sense the flu....cos my temperature's rising....gotta grab those yellow pills....sigh....listening to radiohead just makes me weaker.....i cant afford to be weak.....in survival u cant afford to be weak....cmmon sid, fight back...fight....

fotos

fotos....i guess thats the best thing ever invented....and probably without the dgcam i wouldnt be taking fotos cos of the cost of developing films. tts why i never have old fotos, cos i never had the luxury of buying films and developing it as and wen i liked. i really wished i had old fotos like that of adils...cos we can really see our own changes.

for me now, looking at recent fotos too made me smile....and i cant wait to get hold of some cash and go out again and have fun with my frens....its not as if we spend lavishly but in sg, even going out needs money.....to take the bus or to buy petrol. i cant wait....for that promised soft shell crab.....that shopping in jb....and just plain chilling out.....well, most probably i wont have that much time wen i start work. thats the fucked up part, u either choose alot of time or alot of money with little time......nevermind that, its good actually to be occupied, ud forget about all the sucky things and look forward to the good things....

my left knee is giving me pain...im worrying, i dun want to go for another operation. last time shahreil complained of pains....i never felt it until now.....i dunno how my old age would be.....mebbe i should start to do squats or some leg exercises so that it relieves a little stress on my knee when my legs are stronger. although wen i grow old i would want my kids to be with me, but i dunt want to be a burden to them.. i wanna be independent...probably still riding my scooter, or driving my mini around.. hehehe.....

everyday, ive been thinking of wat bike to get......a px200, herman's nighthawk, or a ktm4. all have their pros n cons.....well, definitely herman's nighthawk is the cheapest, at 1k for a 250cc bike is freakin cheap....a px200 would cost me 2k, a ktm4 abt4-6k depending on its accessories.........but i got a great feeling that i will get a px200 as my transport bike....and probably mod it up like those of sip scooters. cooooool......heheh.....cheerios fellows....gotta clean up my room... i wanna come back from work next week to a comfy bedroom...hehe....

child's play

i think im being rather childish at times....but my childishness is not without a cause... and at the same time my actions is for my own good as well. it does no harm though its done with revenge intended...it might not affect anyone...but satisfaction i can sense...... it might be little, it might even be unoticeable but all this is hidden beneath the fake smiles and laughters. im not saying im a fake....but happiness is an illusion to mask the hurt & sadness. fate we cant change but challenge we can but ultimately it will still turn out what its suppose to be. strength and the will to be stronger keeps us going, so don't ever give in to weaknesses. kindness everyone loves but kindness at times is indeed a weakness. im not saying im evil, im just vicious at times. its a case of survival, its a one man show.....ppl will smile, laugh along with u but when ur smile changes to a frown, most of them stay clear and move away. that is indeed harsh reality, that many refuse to believe.....

the story was left hanging....unsure i left too....it wasnt our fault....regret i had a little but fate has taken its course. im on my way, to my path, alhamdullilah thank god...26 years of age, thru toils and tests ive been, failed, fallen and rise again i have.... i always wanted my fairytale to start again, where everything seems nice, sweet smelling and beautiful....but to be there, the beautiful picture, i have to start all over again, paint my blackened canvas colours again...beautiful colours, the colours of life....i require strength to pick up those brushes and paint my life beautiful....and each day im getting stronger at it.....

one day, my picture will be completed, beautiful, colourful, serene....id sit back and relax and look at the painted picture, smile and tears roll down my cheeks as i recall what i went thru to get to where i am....

one day, one fine day the above will come true.....insya'Allah....with God's will....

changes....

do u ever wished u can change urself?....

yes i do....i want to have strong arms like mike tyson...i want to have his attitude, he once said something like this "if ure in a competition and you don't intend to win then dont be in it, theres no point to it"

endless of changes i could think off, humans, they rarely is contented with what they have....

why not for a change we make good of what we have?....why not just that?...why the changes that is so unnecessary yet probably has an adverse effect? i just cant comprehend why people would go thru that?...for their good? or just so that it will shut people's mouths? be urself, let urself free, do what u think is right, fuck them all who only talks....thats my advice....i did just that and im fucken happy.....cos in the end i WON....if i were to be influenced by those words they say, i think id not be this proud....victorious i emerge, though nothing to be proud off, i showed fucken u moron that what i said, what came out of my bloody notorious machine gun like mouth was fucken true....

its not the end of the story yet cos ive yet to reach the road of success but im on my way....so fuck ya and watch me walk thru it sheding sweat and blood.....im on a mission to prove ya fucken wrong...bastard.

this always happens...

finally, wen i was abt to start on a job....something id like to do came up....SEAGATE called up and i got shortlisted for an engineering assistant position. the hr will forward my resume to the manager and hopefull, i will be called up for an interview. if i do, its goodbye NTUC, im so sorry but id have a better future in engineering...i hope id get the seagate job, permanent night shift but i dun mind at all. cos im single anyways. im hoping n praying hard id get it....u too fellows help wish the best for me!

hahahah

was bithcin with a fren....when she said....wah that fellow loose weight har?...only until we learn that he was on slimming pills.....hehe then she goes again, yek eleh.. aku pon bleh tu macam...bnyk duit beli slimming pills....

even though i know im fucken flabby n fat...but slimming pills, i would not touch, food replacements or supplements perhaps...but not slimming pills...one reason, its unhealthy, second it shows ure fucken lazy to loose weight the natural way, thirdly ull loose ur body fats but never build up muscle which means ull become lembik like my sec school fren....from fat but stout to fucken lembik, skinny, scrawny.....i think slimming pills are for pussies, since ure a pussy now, go fuck urself...harharhar... evli sak sid....but hey, frankly, it works huh?....only thing, i never approve of it or will be a slimming pill consumer....never....

god....i love ya...

i was given a job.....but i was dead broke.....how can i survive on 20bucks for 2 more weeks....my workplace is woodlands...transport alone cost money....sheesh... but today someone bid on my shoes....hopefully, insya'Allah, he is an honest bidder and ill have 20 more bucks to my pocket....alhamdullilah.....i guess i can survive on 40bucks for 2 weeks....but must bring my own food and all la....save money...hehehe.....anyway, Alhamdullilah....thank god....

was at adil's

bored the whole day....adil asked me to hang out at his place....bitch about life at the void deck while waiting for jabreil......ends up lepaking at his place....laksa was nice....thanks adil mom....followed by durians as desert....we were looking at old fotos of ours....coolness...i never tot i changed so much....from the ultra selekeh+rambut merepek to the ultra gemok to the ultra skinny to the ultra gemok again.
time flies, ive changed definitely, physically....but i guess deep inside, sid is still the same....its amazing how time flies....its been like more than 12years we've been frens.....i really didnt realise that till we look at those old fotos... i never had my own camera to play with last time...and i dun have the luxury of buyin and printing out films.....i wish i had....fotos are wonderful ways of keeping memories vivid and alive.

in the afternoon, was chit chatting with nini, she mentioned abt how all her frens are getting married and she remaining a spinster....geee, that struck me too cos im oredi 26....i mean like im not really keen to get married now but hey wat if i grow old and im still single...hehehe.....probably just adopt a kid lor...hehehehe..but i hope to get married before 30, cos i wanna see my own kid get married and have their own kids...:) i always wanted to be a grampa....

lysda invited me to her birthday party.....im sorry omel, dunno if i can make it and wats more, i cant have a prezzie for u, perhaps if i have raised some money ill get ya a little something yah?

okla guys, i gotta wake up early tumoro, sign my letter of appointment...nites...

the jedis.....

we were living our childhood dreams....holding to a real light saber....not it wasnt real just a master replica(thats wat they call them) they look so real....with the led lights......coolness....i went to shahreil's place just to hold it and feel like a jedi...hahaa i know im childish....

its only at shahreil's place that i weigh myself....cos i dun have a weighing machine.. im happy to say i lost 2kg since i last weigh myself....i wish to be back to when the time i was less chubbier like somwhere back in january......i hope so....i think so, cos with work, id definitely loose weight, i gained cos i was jobless...heheh but all in all im happy.....heheh....:)

im broke.....

im dead broke...but im not going to fucken whine about it cos i know ive got a job and ill be starting on the 27th and soon pay will come in....i know i can barely survive on the bucks in my old wallet now.....but i have to....i have no choice....ill earn watever i need...by selling away my stuffs or work temporary jobs before i start my real work....

was jus chit-chatting with jabreilingahe'.....as usual bitch abt our miserable life.. but lucky he, he got wat ive always wanted...a light saber, so realistic, itll make me pee in my pants....the 250bucks he spent was well worth it....too bad i aint got no cash now.....i hope someone kind enough will buy me that for my bdae prezzie...ehhe forget it la sid...stop dreaming....hahahaa

i went out with ida just now, my new fren, she added me on myspace, ended up talking on msn and now we are frens...hhehe was fun....i mean, getting to know someone from a different background...its interesting getting to know ppl's lives.....shit i didnt have much cash left....saw that stadium helmet at sungei road but i know fucken well i cant spent my money yet....and then as we walked on, i saw 4 leathered half shell helmets...wtf...its like as though they are tempting me...making me drool cos fucken hell i cant spend.......at far east square's flea market, i saw this cool tin toy car, a sedan, damn ol skool....and again, i cant have it......wat a bad timing to be looking at stuffs.....sheeesh....petrol & 2t cost me 10bucks...sheesh that could last me a week...but hey, its worth it cos nowadays public transport is freakin expensive..

im hooked on flash, i think shareil too....he just requested me to bring the cds later....hehe flash is cool...ive created 2 emoticons....1 of a toyol and another a pochong....hehehe me and my stupid ghostly fetish....adios peeps....

OH MY GOD....PEN is online...miss her so much, miss bithcin with her over on msn....
c ya peeps....shes been missing for quite some time......

wow weee....

a fren deleted me off frenster....no, its not that fren in bukit batok.....another one.....sigh.....wat is it with me? do i disgust u or something? if i do, tell me straight....i know la, the bb boys have a bad image on u guys..but hey, a bad egg doesnt make all bad right?.....arr...nvm who cares anyway, for all i know at least im no hypocrate.....

saturday was spent sleeping n infront of the pc....playing around with flash.... i was bored...spent the night in front of the teevee...and if i had been holding on to my hp, id be out in town oredi....ida smsed me at 8pm but i was glued in front of the teevee..
the boys...they chose to go out and forgot about me, well anyways, i wouldnt feel comfortable too...cos im only close with a fraction of them, like boy, buncit, mamat, and the rest of bbss boys...the rest, i barely know them much.....

tumoro, i will be out with a fren to flea markets.....from china square to sungei road.....its better than nothing rite?...hey the penniless man still need to go out aight!.........

i cant wait to start work....i need a new monitor at least if im not getting anything else....im going shopping in august, probably thats the first mth ill get pay, so the 2 bday girls...sorry no prezzies for u, im still broke....and pen...my fren where have u been...kinda miss ya...uve been my listening ear for quite some time back then......

oritey then....gnite peepz....suits u fellows if u chose not to be my friend....i cant stop u....