child's play

i think im being rather childish at times....but my childishness is not without a cause... and at the same time my actions is for my own good as well. it does no harm though its done with revenge intended...it might not affect anyone...but satisfaction i can sense...... it might be little, it might even be unoticeable but all this is hidden beneath the fake smiles and laughters. im not saying im a fake....but happiness is an illusion to mask the hurt & sadness. fate we cant change but challenge we can but ultimately it will still turn out what its suppose to be. strength and the will to be stronger keeps us going, so don't ever give in to weaknesses. kindness everyone loves but kindness at times is indeed a weakness. im not saying im evil, im just vicious at times. its a case of survival, its a one man show.....ppl will smile, laugh along with u but when ur smile changes to a frown, most of them stay clear and move away. that is indeed harsh reality, that many refuse to believe.....

the story was left hanging....unsure i left too....it wasnt our fault....regret i had a little but fate has taken its course. im on my way, to my path, alhamdullilah thank god...26 years of age, thru toils and tests ive been, failed, fallen and rise again i have.... i always wanted my fairytale to start again, where everything seems nice, sweet smelling and beautiful....but to be there, the beautiful picture, i have to start all over again, paint my blackened canvas colours again...beautiful colours, the colours of life....i require strength to pick up those brushes and paint my life beautiful....and each day im getting stronger at it.....

one day, my picture will be completed, beautiful, colourful, serene....id sit back and relax and look at the painted picture, smile and tears roll down my cheeks as i recall what i went thru to get to where i am....

one day, one fine day the above will come true.....insya'Allah....with God's will....