Angry Me.

Dear God, I pray to have more patience in me.

I succumb to anger last week, which I was not proud of. In fact, I am embarrassed, still. I did not react rationally. Although I was merely standing up for my right for the wrongful accusation against me, I knew it was not the thing to do, to raise my voice against my superior. Although I already apologized for my uncalled for reaction and although he apologized for his wrongful accusation against me, things will never be the same. There's still a tinge of embarrassment in me and God knows what he thinks of me already now.

I should have just walked away like I usually do but I had enough. I know raising my voice wasn't the thing to do but I don't know if standing up was the right thing to do. In my opinion, I think it does help things to get better but letting my anger consume me wasn't the way to go. I hope you show him that I didn't mean it, I was just defending my rights, I just try to get the point across for all this while all the rest could do was just ignore him and made him think that he was right. I hope he'd change but at the same time I hope he forgot what had happened as well.

For now, I really hope what my SNM promised me becomes a reality. Advance Diploma next April, I feel both fear, excitement and the same time distrust. I was promised this October but apparently there were many applicants and being the fact that I was only a few days shy of being 2years or more(I guess thats the requirement) at point of application, I had to wait.

Anyways, I just hope that I do get in. When I graduate, I want to request for a 5day week, office hours duty. I'll loose the shift allowances but the increments because of the Advance Diploma and a possible promotion will level everything out. Meaning I'll probably earn just a little lesser or even the same. The reason is I want to spend more time with my wife, family and friends. I realize money isn't everything, although it does make some dreams possible, like racing for instance. :)

Well, it's just thoughts, if I do get normal duties, I can also pursue other stuffs like probably a degree or other courses that could be the source of additional incomes like real-estate for example. Just thoughts.

Whatever it is, it is all in the hands of God. InsyahAllah. I can only try my best and I can only pray that you'd grant. :)