trust

hari raya?

sadness, disappointedness, unhappyness,

wrong spellings? go figure...

haiz...

orang semue sibuk siap beraya, aku sibuk mengemaskan pakaiaan2, buku2, dan lain2... mula2 rasa marah...tapi bila aku dengar takbir, suara pakcik aku yng tumpang solat dirumah yng bakal aku tinggalkan ini...sayup, sedih, air mata meleleh di pipiku... kenapa nasib ku sebegini? adakah disebabkan perbuatan2 aku yang lalu? mungkin, mungkin.

walau bagaimana pon aku mesti tabah, anak lelaki pertama ali bin atan ini takkan tewas. ku terkenangkan bapa ku...yng berada di jakarta, rindu terasa, tapi apakan daya jauh...

kepada muslimin sedunia dan sesapa yng membaca, selamat menyambut syawal, maafkan segala dosa2ku yng tak tersengaja...

sincere

finally got a sincere buyer...getting my cash tumoro....transferring tumoro, be giving mom, fathih, ayun some cash for raya...then yai, nyai n nenek....

thnks annie for loving me....love u lots....

looks like i can kickstart my tees....

next sunday.....im off to teck whye...ull see less of my posts...cos havent hook up internet....hehehe....

ipod 30gb

im selling away my ipod video 30GB with volcom case and usb cable. any offer contact me hor....looking at 200-250, give me an offer la...heh...cheerios...rarely use la lately, always plugged in to my shuffle since im riding...

so he backed out..

i just somehow felt its going to happen, i dunno for wat reason but wat to do...looks like ive got to look elsewhere and im $170 p.m. short now....its ok...

love the new 'home'....vacummed, mopped....etc....tired...shifting if tiring...

coolness

i think iskandar's mom is the 2nd coolest mom next to mine...we spoke on the phone and she told me a couple of things before i move in to the teck whye flat. she was cool about it i appreciate really her kindness.

so, im going to move in, officially 2nd day raya...which is sunday but ill start clearing and cleaning up tumoro if im not shagged out...should be a-ok ar...i dont dare frankly to stay alone yet...id wait for Is to move in on sunday...

im much more pretty excited rather than sad now...a little sad still but Is made me feel like more at home, more like a long lost brother...

thnks ratnor for the photoshop....and bro, maybe can skate together sometimes since we are nearer...heh!

sayang, i love u, sorry im a little bz just now....

gnite peeps

one after another

i dunno whats happening, i tot things getting better in a way or another but it appears not to be what i expected...its like one after another kinda thingy u know if melayu cakap "macam jatuh di timpa tangga..." its like one blow after another...well what can i do, this is fate and probably God's way of testing me....just accept lor and try my best to change it to be better or at least adapt to it...

haiz....i tot at least id be smiling a little on top of all the frownings but i guess now the smiles are merely smiles for the sake of smiling not a smile from deep within. emo arent i? i cant help it....its happening...i know....i just know...

i dont know la, i dont know wats happening...

i just want to get away....from everything for sometime....cant wait for the vacations. i think id love to try travelling alone...will i have the balls to do it? hmm.... we'll see, if things really gets worse....ill definitely do it...i need something to release the tension...

conflicting

conflicting feelings/thoughts is really engulfing me....id so want to leave but at the same time i feel sad leaving....cos i know id be alone....like no family at all... but id want to leave cos i cant stand that annoying moron anymore....

watever it is, i know im capable of looking after myself....although tough, struggling, i always managed to come up with means and ways to survive. for instance, i sold my rare shoes, parka, accessories just to make ends meet....i never borrowed...it was only once i did borrow....and i paid back immediately a few hours later cos i had cash at home stashed somewhere but my acc was empty. im not arrogant here nor proud, i think im just glad that god helped me out, god provide me with brains and capabilities to survive in this unkind world, where dog-eat-dog and backstabbing is a favourite past-time.

i just hope ill survive on my own, i know i will, i know i can...next couple of weeks is going to be spent studying and not sulking over the mishap that the moronic figure had caused. im strong, i know i am and i will go ahead with life...pursue what i believe in, try the best i can to get it....

skinnymunster replied and suggested i meet his partner up to discuss further as to how i can gain exposure to my silly tees...i know its simple and nothing fancy-smancy but i hope ppl will like it. and i hope that skinnymunster will help me sell my tees as well...

keeping the faith, keeping the dreams alive...

un-underground

initially i only wanted my tees to be underground, i mean not sold mainstream but after what has happened to me i decide to submit my designs to skinnymunster and noise.sg when i come up with better designs....ill pick a few and send in...and hope that they'd like it and hopefully i get to sell my tees...its ambitious but actually its a means of survival for me now...if i can manage to make extra bucks from the tees i make why not.

im going to get annie to help me sew the labels on my tees, i hope she knows how to or at least i can teach her....let try a few samples....

Z, is pretty silent about the wedding thingy...i really hope it gets kickin so dough starts coming in...i need to save up reely....

adil becomes the saviour...well, he gains as well....and with monthly money coming in, 50bucks will go to funding my tees...the rest to utilities bills and others. i intend to save at least 50bucks every month from NOW. its for the future dey....id want to own my own apartment, not just renting or seeking refuge at a frens place.

since now id be living on my own....i need to be not so lazy....i need to clean up the HOUSE not only ROOM....i think its the least i can do for Is who let me put up at his place. im only worried about the supernatural he mentioned....u see im not a real tough guy when it comes to ghosts...hehehehe....anyways im looking forward to it, i cant wait to move out...ill visit mom every week of course...shes the bestest mom on earth....

i just hope when im stable enough, next year when i graduated, i want to get married and get a flat of my own...

gotta iron clothes....taaa...

thanks a million Is....