stress

stress is a distress to every human being and certainly its affecting many of us and ppl we love.

before we get on to the main issue, im happy that i passed my practical test though im not totally satisfied i was expecting full marks, perfect but i forget a couple of stuffs like my charts, such a silly mistake which i learn, next time round, no more mistakes, i lll get a perfect score but being able to pass and not have a retest is good enough cos i know ill definitely get more than 50% and i also realise being an ambitious person doesnt make u a perfect person.....ouh one more thing, i think im gonna start a new blog, complimentary to verivicious.blogspot, it will be called "the diary of a male nurse"...soon once i start my clinicals.....

to the main issue, my baby was feeling so stressed up and me neglecting me is affecting her even more, im too occupied with my studies and myself....most times im either at school studying or in the evening trying to rehab and strengthen my weak knees for the sake of nursing and i would love to do sports once again....now that i realise im progressing pretty well at tennis....i never thought she'd miss me tt much cos she never does tell me or sms me or give me alarming signs tt she needs attention, more than what i have given her.....its true, i tend to be preoccupied and neglect her weekdays.....but ive already forewarned her tt things is getting busier....ive done good with the effort ive put in....but what i went thru was only the start, in two weeks there'll be more tests and come monday is another ICA(in-course-assesment) presentation.....tts no big deal the real deal are the killer subjects and the 1000words essay which i have yet to touch.......i didnt mean to neglect her honest.....i turned down my best bud shahreil for soccer sessions for a trip to sim lim and kopi sessions....cos i realise priorities, my priorities.... its not tt nani and my frens are not important to me, there are equally important, they are the concrete pillars behind that kept me standing up.....the ones that gave me endless encouragements and reasons to go on and on.....of course my mother is the strongest one of all.........

i just hope tt they would understand my situation.....and i would try to manage my time better and take care of my health.....cos i find tt i tire easily and sleep is wasting my precious time, i can get more things covered if i strictly stick to 6-8 hours of sleep per day and 1-2 hours of leisure.....nani is right, im not really managing my time well.......but i need some space to breathe too, i cant be occupying my timetable tt i cant breathe......i hope she understands and i really hope shed open up a bit more, tell me whats bothering her rather than keep things bottled up till it finally explode......

i love her, for the fact tt she loves me so much, so much tt i dun think anyone else i came across before had potrayed.....she even have dreams of a future with me which i dont think the 'past ones' ever had cos in their eyes im a complete loser, a bummer, a slacker who dreams too much, who is too optimistic, who always look on the brighter side too often.......she, have faith in me, she's willing to wait and i hope tt wouldnt change......

i think ive mentioned before, different ppl develop at their own pace.....for me is sadly a slower pace.....but ill know ill be there one day.....i just know....ill reach my target, my very own....i dont have to live up to ppls expectations.....i just need to live up to my own...and probably beyond if possible......

stress is a very disturbing element in our lives but we can use tt to our advantage....use problem-solving to solve stress and not emotion.... emotions will not solve anything....stop being angry, stop being sad, stop being disappointed, work on the problem and stress will slowly go away.....find out why are u stressed? can u solve it? if not, can u manage it? or can u try slowly to solve it instead of finding an instant solution?

stress is a worrying element tt leads to depression....and u wouldnt want to end up there......depression leads to many health complications.....hypertension and even cva(stroke)....and believe me....cancer is also related to depression, although theres no scientific explanation as yet but majority of ppl who has cancer have a stress problem or depression.....so pls try to manage it, if theres no solution, sweat it out, play games, relax, go for a walk, talk to ur frens......

u must be wondering how i know all this...haiya lessons ar.....im especially interested in psychology.....and i guess me being sponsored by imh fits the puzzle perfectly....im fated to be there, i mean as nurse of course.....and who knows if i work hard enough i can open a clinic, a psychiatric clinic.....cool huh?....but its still a long way so i dare not dream.....ill just do my best work my way through and hopefully ill at least meet my expectations.....i want to retire at least with a doctorate in nursing.....just for self satisfaction.....

adios ppl, ive got to do research on a killer subject sociology, and guess wat im researching on?....suicide...and how society plays a role in it.....cool huh? morbid but it is reality tt many of us push aside cos it doesnt affect us or our loved ones.

bitch

does owning a car entitled u the road? cmmon la tt bitch still have tt stupid triangle on her windscreen.....stupid bitch, slut, melayu some more! kanina.....
she jus swerved in like tt as if her grandfather who passed away owned the road... slut.......then never make effort to raise her hand or something, i guess shes blind cos she donned tt fancy i think designer sunglass...arrrh...probably its pasar malam goods and so is herself...probably pasar malam also....damn u....owning a car doesnt authorize u to drive like u father own the fucking road....bitch!.....we motorcyclist pay road tax too....damn u, curses....

phew i just need to let it out....damn bitch....

anyways, theory was over....sheesh it was so simple...BUT the questions was so tricky tt after comparing with my frens i already realised i made a couple of mistakes....well i just hope i do good if i cant do well up to my expectations... 70% will do, cant wait for the results......anyways i jus think the tricky questions are made to kill us....im just hoping for the best.....wish me luck...bio test in week 10, tt makes it 2 more weeks to go....urrrghhh.....gotta start....adios...

discipline

mohammed siddiq bin ali, the key is discipline.....only u can decide ur future... ure doing OK(only) so far, work harder, whip ur fat ass to study harder and block out distractions........whip ur fat ass so that u wake up at 6am everyday and not only days where theres class at 8am.....damn u sid, an ok is not enuff.....*whip, *whip..........u have more than that.......put it all to use....bring the rest down.. damn it.....go for first...or mebbe more realisticly the top 10percent... damn u.......

this has been an encouragement transmission.....toooooot.......

i love my nani....cos she loves me lot.....im sorri if i have neglected u..... 2 years is a very short time.....bear with it my dear........i need u behind me, pushing me, giving me encouragement..........