a major issue in part of my life.....my level of trust has been damaged along my timeline of life.....from even at a tender young age.....ppl around me display acts of deception, lies and many alike......and in my adolescent stage i got into a few relationships that really betrayed my trust. nursing helped me gain some back again... i learn alot from nursing and i hope nobody will try to destroy what im building again.
i trust very few people and when i put that trust i hope they wont take advantage of it.
i think again and again im fated to do psychiatry....some or another it helps me, my mental health and i know itll help me along my journey in life. in life, physical strength is just a part of it, the other part is psychological strength.
and all that has happened in the past has made me psychologically stronger.....
trust
satudyday....
today supposed to be my final revisions day....no going out, deprive myself of entertainment and focus....but im ubber lazy and im itching to join haiqal and the lomo peoples to shoot......but the angle in me told me, "sid ure running low on cash even if u follow them shooting you could probably develop your films only next week and sid you have a blardy theory test on monday mind you...." ouh yeah he's pretty harsh at times but he has to do it to discipline me.
yeay i had alot in mind after yesterdays conversations.....we were talking about wat to do if we go out....tons of ideas.....and boy aka eizhar is gonna teach me rollerblading so i can show off and teach annie...hurhurhur....we were talking about mini bikes too.. i wonder if they would really get one.....i think i will most probably get one when i start my real job....got more money to spend mah......i was suggesting having a race at the multi-storey carpark......i like ppl who like to try new things and not stick around within their 'cube' in their comfort zone onli....life is more colourful when you explore, do different things and meet different people....thats i love 'people' job. you know what i mean, macam sales, teaching, nursing.....its alot less boring...
then desk bound jobs...where u stare at the screen for 8hours or more.....well it depends la but if its doodling its fun too...
i cant wait to have all the fun....but in order to have all those, i have to get good grades first and make sure ramla(IMH-HR) says "ya ive seen ur grades, pretty good!" again.....hehehehe (eksyen la tu...)
talking to chinese girl in malay
its farnie.....we've been trying to have conversations in malay...of course, i end up as the teacher......hurhurhur...but kinda fun actually.....
mystery shirt
i will fit into my mystery shirt again.
i will fit into my mystery shirt again.
i will fit into my mystery shirt again.
i will fit into my mystery shirt again.
i will fit into my mystery shirt again.
i will fit into my mystery shirt again.
i will fit into my mystery shirt again.
i will fit into my mystery shirt again.
i will fit into my mystery shirt again.
i will fit into my mystery shirt again.
things fell into place
ive been recieving alot of attention lately, nope its not that i wear thongs everywhere i go....its a different kind of attention, one i felt years ago....
and i tell u, the feeling is great.......she said the same too.
again as usual, theres always a problem amidst the joy......and for once is a totally new problem, religion, the differences, race i believe isnt a problem.
i asked my classmate who is rather close to me, we bitch about stuffs over msn and sometimes we spill over to personal issues, well she said, if it were her, she wouldnt mind changing, shes a dumbass when it comes to this matter....its easier for her to say cos she's sort of a free-thinker.....
i asked a fren of mine also....ouh shes a muslim....she says dont waste my time if the other party has no intention...
sigh but then again....i got other things to worry like completing my final year of nursing and skateboarding....well not really worry bout skateboarding more like whens the next session dudes...my legs itching to pop kuih lopez.....hurhurhur....
hmm i was watching teevee with mommy, when i saw the animation of gila makan, looks very familiar, can recognise whose work is it....if its not hers then the designer have very similar style...niceness....
speaking of niceness, ive stumbled upon the cartoon, somebody drew years back...i still love it and im gonna have it printed on a tee soon nuff when i have cash for tees.......
ive gotta go....finish up assignments.....my classmates trust me to do my work and i will not betray my trust....well its more about responsibility.
speaking of responsibility, im sorry guys i cant attend the celebration on sunday, i have to study for monday's test, i hope to do well...i really hope so...ive planned my sort of timetable....morning skate and be back by 3pm for final revisions, sleep soundly before midnight and be ready for the test on monday....its not that i dont want to join u guys...u guys too mean alot to me but i have a responsibility to myself and to my friends who signed the bond with me that trusted me to study and do well.....:)
thnks adil
thnks frens for wanting to help me just now....it was such a silly mistake, i learnt my lesson....
before the test on monday, i told myself, i will not get myself a new deck until payday if i dont get an A....I got a C....
monday i went scouting for decks....but turns out i didnt find something, i really2 like and prices was steep.....
tuesday aku degil....and stupid me tot my ledger balance could be used......i went to tony's get what i wanted and when i was about to pay, declined.....turns out i cant use my ledger yet but i do have 60bucks...i was short of $35. so i called my closest of frens....from shahreil, jabrul, adi, and adil...and some of them could not be reached due to work and stuffs....adi was at work, shahreil had no spare, shahrul too and he's at home, adil was at IMM and he had spare...phew.....thnk adil for saving me....i have spare cash at home, i been trying to save some spare cash......luckily indeed i put aside 50bucks at home with the intention to start a savings.....sigh but i have to use it.....but my coin bank is still untouched...i shall refrain from using it...unless i really have to....right now, i got $75 to survive on until the 25th......that makes about 10days.....saturday i wont be spending any money....and if i keep to less than 7bucks a day, i can make it...petrol pumped already, so shouldnt be a problem. alhamdullilah......syukur.....
ive got another problem in mind actually....but i guess it wouldnt be a problem as time goes by(i hope so).......its regarding race and religion......
hmm
C for my research test...damn....english so chim....
annie, you made my day.....:)
im struggling with scripts for role-play!
a new deck is going to burn holes in my pocket cos of the price hike....hope tony still have those 74bucks decks....
films are going to burn holes as well cos ive bought over a lomocolorsplash from haiqal and i have the intention to participate and submit some fotos for the event 'tikam-tikam'.
i think i will need new brake pads and tyres soon...that will burn some more holes....
i think.....hehehe ar
today i got a time limit set. im supposed to sleep by 1 am.
maybe thats why the fragmented sentences.
i envy adi and the guys surfing concrete at somerset tonight.
sori sheikh i love that zero or mystery but im tight on budget.
annie reminded me that fasting coming....13th september.
since she reminded, she must come jalan raya with me..heh!
gnite peeps. cheerios....
