sometimes the teevee does not only provide mere entertainment, i guess theres a reason to every development and happenings, after all technology, biology and many knowledge of how the world work is derived from the quraan...where from there the human develops it into what many of them call their own.
today teevee has indeed serves another latent function tt sometimes we fail to see, cos we all rather watch emteevee or desperate housewives. teevee sometimes helps you realise and even sometimes reminds you, that you are a muslim, so be one. today as my brother turned on discovery channel, i was mesmerized by the programme that is on the hadj and Muhammad s.a.w. our prophet. at first i was judgemental i stereotyped the caucasian to be like any other who condemns the religion but as i listened to as my interests towards the subject and the want to listen was inevitable, he actually converted after 20years of study and had already perform the hadj. i am so ashamed of my judgemental self. but then, i listened on, its merely the elaboration of what i had learned halfway in religious class. the way of the prophet touches me. it is remarkable, the story, or rather history.
i do think tt my upcoming profession is a calling and i do think tt it is how i could contribute to society and indeed help and with my knowledge, insyahAllah i can help ppl. im no saint, i still sin unknowingly or sometimes knowingly. i still give in to desire and at times i am weakened by temptations, to be angry, to talk bad, to gossip, to hate and so on. i hope i will practise more of what has been imparted and taught by my elders so tt it can help purify my self to not behave in such a way. till date, i cant still accept the existence of my step father for his behavior, at first i always tot he's the cause tt i could not accept him, its his behavior who made me hate him.......but then, i studied psychology, its indeed a self-fulfilling prophecy, because of his nature, behavior, i stereotyped him to be bad, hypocrite and many negativity and because of tt i act in a certain way and somehow its like a chain reaction where he fulfilled it.....i was thinking perhaps if i change a little to my perception would it change him? God knows. perhaps if i were to think positively, he behaves in such a way because of stress at work, because of tiredness, because his beloved daughter had forgotten about him and not because he hates me, because im not his son probably thinks would change. but frankly im still unable to do that, its such a hard thing to do, especially to a person whom labeled u and a person who have displayed hate and actually mentioned it........
i was thinking again, perhaps mebbe tt was why my fate or rather i was destined to study again, nursing, basically the study of human beings, to give me knowledge and perhaps improve my life physically, mentally and spiritually.....insyaAllah. it's beyond description to what ive studied, though those of you who have known would probably say im exagerrating but im not, im glad i took the path of nursing, well not only for the reward(which was why i applied) but for the knowledge i attained and more later on. i guess tts why islam encourages us to learn & learn. we can never end up learning enough, im one good example, i completed my diploma course in engineering, im knowledgable in that field but i know nuts about biology, psychology and sociology.......which is rather helpful for the living........
i hope my hunger for knowledge will carry on, not only it will make me successful in life later on but it will make me knowledgable and perhaps a much more calm person as being able to understand to the happenings around me, the happenings to me, etc........
id like to thank also the four frens who gave their trust in me once again......thank you.
teevee
behind schedule
im a little behind schedule, i havent completed my assignment insyahallah ill finish it by tonight so revision can start tumoro. i dont intend to go out these few days.....until monday, monday i have to head to school to submit my assignment and probably after that id go to ahju to change the shocks on my vespa......mebbe. or mebbe the leo vince i longed for.
anyways, i rummaged thru my cousin's old clothes, it was supposed to be given to my cousin's in JB, i managed to find a few tt is rather big, big enough for me....heheh alhamdullilah, takyah beli baju....bleh save buat beli bermuda's for next semester, this year 2 of my bermudas are not viable for wearing anymore....the zipper is beyond repair on one and there's a 'gash' on the other. hehehe......bermudas are the most comfortable for school, so definitely ill invest in one or 2 good ones......
gotta go do my assignment....adios.........ouh ada orang nak donate baju kurung yng masih cantik kasi la ye...hehehe maklum la orang melayu kiter kalau ada duit, baju baru mesti punye so yng baru pakai skali pon jadi collect habuk je......hehehe
mod
rex passed me an old foto......long sak rambut, ala mod.....lone ranger mod, independent, gi event sorang2 on my caramella back then, equiped with mp3 and a dgcam to snap2...heheh miss my locks....
last day
today marks the last day of lessons for semester one......and finally all tests completed except one assignment due on monday.
today is like a huge relief for me cos the socio paper was do-able. and today too, where i learnt tt my fren is also upgrading so tt hopefully one day she's able to become a staff nurse too......
dr.san, our biology teacher from myanmar wanted to have a foto taken with us for memories. i feel he is a nice lecturer, kind, calm and patient though sometimes his delivery is rather unclear.....well here it is, the cohort of july 06 accelerated diploma in nursing, here are all the aunties and few young ones who will be staff nurses in 1.5years time!
this raya i think is a rather quiet affair....
bills galore today....sigh.....88bucks internet, 31bucks hp, 60bucks road tax......hehe bt this ramdhan, i acutally spend lesser, so it kinda balanced out...hehehe.....
im looking forward to becoming a qualified nurse, dr.san mentioned this just now "in nursing without heart, knowledge is nothing" something like tt la.....i agree......
tonight's plan, finish up my obesity lesson plan....tumoro start mugging for exams, i still have chance to get 3 As...ehheheh
must be optimistic, tts what keeps a person motivated and driven.....wish me luck....
migrane
ngah migrane beb.....gua jarang kene migrane tau....
anyways, was watching cinta Q to let the brain rest a little when suddenly.....OoooOOooeeeeoOooo...oh my hp....long time sia very quiet......hehe ala, vincent giving answers to the tutorial.......i tot tt was it,....then came another sms, wah....like contagious after days of silence.......its my ol fren, wat a surprise, just well wishing for my upcoming exams.....boy tt sure made my day a little and really bring the migrane down, after all, illnesses are somehow related to ur emotions, brains....etc....thnks guys
its farnie tt i dun seem so stressed for tumoros paper....not tt its easy but somehow i just take my time studying thru each theories at my own comfortable pace.....itll be good if i can do this for the rest......
ok dudes n dudettes, enjoy my ipod, im gonna continue mugging......
deranged
i think i am crazy inside...muahahaha....anyway 2 more hurdles before the real exam, tumro sociology test n my assignment..
was speaking of raya preps.....haha up till now, i havent done anything.....forget it la...at most i prepare the change for the kids.. cant be bothered anyway......new clothes? for wat? hehehe......anyways i feel raya is when u can see all the hypocrites surface from their hideout.....damn these ppl, they cry, apologise and do again....immediately after they leave, they gossip, its like wtf? anyways....tt is why i never conform to the norm every year, i never ask for forgiveness from all, only a certain ppl...cos i dont see a point.......
im like a deviant here....not conforming to the social norms or culture.......watever la eh.... i only know i owe my mom alot of things....and i owe her an apology for still not being so responsible to the household as an adult.......
my plans for this year, raya night, visit my yai, then my nenek and if no time, my nyai the next morning.....again i wont get to see my biological father....cos he's in jakarta....i just doa for his happiness down there with ibu' yanti and my half-siblings.....
my classmates want to organize a jln raya, i didnt turn them down just now but i guess i will, cos frankly i have no mood for raya, its very different dis year....i know every year theres no real happiness except the success of completing 30days of fasting though not perfect at all......i just hope i have mood to tag with the bb boys or the gilly boys and hopefully they as usual make me feel belonged and tt instant smile n laughter upon my face....no, im not sad.....just pressured....hahaha
i miss my frens...serious......honest.....i wish i could meet them....but i have to fulfill my role as a student and a son....tt is to do well and not disappoint my mom....although i have a role as a fren......but i know u guys understand....love ya guys...
ouh, as i was riding back, skurvy came to mind, i think ill change boba to skurvy....all black with huge skurvy on the side, wadda ya think?
okok la gotta mug for tumoros paper already 7minutes behind schedule.
otak ngah mati beb
otak ngah cramp nie beb.....biasak ar, blaja jugak....khamis ada paper...knn....heheh sociology lagi hancur siot, susah, tapi takper melayu boleh...hehehe...
ngah jam nie jadi gua log in.....surf2 biasak ar, nengok moto jugak....hobi la katakan.....tapikan gua notice kan moto2 classic tetap appeal pada gua....sebab tulah gua sayang nak jual caramela, walaupun instantly gua bleh dapat duit dalam 2.5k ngan sekelip mata......gua ngah surf2, bila gua jumpa nie add, orang jual Triumph model T100-500cc. wah lan doi...pengsi beb, at least pada orang2 yng serupa mcm gua la yng suka moto classic.....lu nengok sendiri ar gambar kat bawah tu....gua cakap sama lu, kalau gua ada 11k, itu motor lu bleh nengok parking kat carpark gua within the next few days....hahaha...sori eh bahasa gua tak tentu arah....sebab otak gua ngah berkecamuk....hahahah.....
good news galore
gd news 1, my 2 group presentations were graded A. meaning i need another about 20% to pass overall for these 2 modules, meaning i need to score about 50/60 to get an maintain an A or 20/60 to pass, im aiming in between......
another good news, alhamdullilah, someone, i once affectionally call omel, is getting married this november....congrats....lisda
another good news, my lecturer sort of narrowed down wat to study in his hidden tips, which are important etc....thnks a million....
always look on the bright sight of life....hehehe...
i noticed my boba is accumulating dust, i promise ill clean u after the sociology test and ill take out the box, since i dont really need it since now there are no more lectures to attend to and ill do a paint touch up on the left side most probably after the last paper......after much considerations, i dont think im switching bikes so soon....ill finish up paying this one first....so its like another 2years on a gilly.....tts good too, cos i can save up during the 2years....and i can switch to something ive always wanted. before i get old, i wanna do things tt i wont get to do when im old.....:)
now, back to mugging for 5 more papers.....
prediction....aummm
hehe cant help it la dey....jus predict my test just now......my mcqs was a little disappointing.....bt hey, if my assumption is correct, i pass man.....yeay....if not ill still pass cos i aced my groupwork....hopefully la nothing goes wrong.
psychology test 101
i am worried...no i dont think i would fail, after comparing the answers with my classmates, i think i got pretty much the same answers....so its either we are all right or all wrong.....so why worried u say?
first of all, i can guess its rather difficult to ace the paper, i didnt even answer 1 question though its only 1mark of value but tt one mark could determine between an A or a B ....OR a C or a D. tts not all im worried about, andy(my lecturer) have high expectations of me, jus bcos i comprehend most of the theories and i came up with a couple of solutions during lecturer, i also belong to one of those he labeled smart. tts why im worried, im worried i'd disappoint him with my answers, i might have understood the theories and able to apply it, definitely i could do tt but i am not real good at retrieving facts. tts the problem, im not perfect, im good at reasoning but not remembering.....so probably ill do pretty ok except not excellent and not up to andy's expectations.......
ok, so what did he do tt got me worried.....in the exam hall, as i was engrossed writing the answers, a classmate of mine told me he was actually standing behind me, looking at what i wrote and later staring into space in an attempt to comprehend the theory i wrote....see tt was how high his expectancy of me doing well......probably before the paper i should warn him, ...andy, im average, im not those gifted nerds......i may look like one but im not one....hahahahaha....
another sad thing is, the results will only be released at the end of the semester.....sheesh.....i dont care im gonna ask andy if i see him in school...heheheh
------------------------------psychology chapter completed-------------------------
next up on thursday is sociology....this is another scary paper.....my group aced the presentation, tt makes us in cleamaus' good books....and not only tt, cleamaus & andy share the same office AND they are pretty good frens i must say tt they can joke about each other.....so tts another worry......the lecturers' expectation.........id better do well or at least ok.
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dateline's for lesson plan on obesity coming up, i have to do a very good one, the group work was presented well just now and mdm chin was pleased, i already disappointed her with the maternal results now i must make up with the lesson plan. id put in 101% effort or beyond.....
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after all of the above completed(i predict friday) i can start mugging for the actuall exams, medical surgical next week friday and the following week, biology & 2 nursing sciences paper......after the exams are over, ill be assesed on clinical skills LIVE in real settings with real clients. tough one but im optimistic i can do well, being equiped with experience as a medic, i think ill be a little ahead of the rest.
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so u see, im pretty packed till at least 2nd week of shawal and im still occupied towards the 2nd half of december. well, at least, i can enjoy my birthday, hopefully if i clear all of the above...im looking forward to a well deserved break in bali or bangkok or kl will do....hehehe.....
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interesting for today, i get to see dead bodies today....and todays prac lab is on reproductive organs and they functions,
interesting for this month, rex is participating in gilera sprint race in KL, im disappointed tt he didnt participate in the kallang one, he said no skills....hehe but itd be interesting....for those gilly fanatics, the race at kallang is end of this month, the last weekends.....enjoy....
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gd bye peeps, i need to have some shut eye.
brains is to be used
i think i used it fairly well alright, tt my head hurts...
anyways, if anyone is of right of mind, im in the middle of exams and i still have one last assignment to complete...if anyone is of right of mind, they would know why im keeping to myself, i reply smses slow or not at all, if it the answer is obvious or not necessary to answer or i dunno the answer.......i turn down a movie trip with my pals....i turn down a simple coffee shop session, i turn down shopping for new clothings...all the sake of my dreams...so please try to use some of tt bit above.
what im attempting is now my future, if you are all my frens, do u want me to achieve or destroy it? simple as tt. if my frens can understand, can leave me alone, can understand why i say no to so many invitations tt the gilera boys sampai dah penat bertanya dorang bilang...sid, concerntrate kay, when all is done call us.....
jus a little bit of understanding would do.
and you dont have to turn to morons for advice...theres many other ppl to approach.
anxious
im anxious bout the coming paper in about few hours time.......i surf ard after sahur....and i came across this sick bike!
motard...motard...motard.....delicious....i want it some day...wonder how much itll cost....
-LC4 640cc KTM Supermoto Black-
......droool......i can imagine drifting thru corners....ouh btw i need a class2 to ride tt sick machine :P.....
heheh
i was trying to comprehend fully sigmund freud's theory of personality developments, the id, ego & superego when my hand doodled this.
creativity
creativity is essential in problem solving for daily lives, i can still remember when my vespa got stuck at ecp bcos the piston jammed and the supressor head which is made of plastic is broken when i yanked it open bcos it was hot. i was then chewing on a gum which my then gf gave me....first of all i needed to release the piston from its jammed position in the block....at first i forcefully stepped on the starter (convergent thinking) simply to force it to move out of its jammed position, failed i look into the compartment and the 2T (a lubrication oil) gave me an idea, tt it would perhaps lubricate the piston and thus removing friction and at the same time cool down the metal so that it shrink back to size (metals expand when hot) and true enough with ease it is released......then came the next problem, the broken supressor head, creativity usually occurs when doing simple tasks like walking bcos it allows the mind to concentrate on a simple task tt doesnt require effort in order to wander off to possible solutions in other words to think out of the box, creatively & complex...i was chewing on my gum then...the first simple solution tt would come to mind is to get it back together is to use superglue or tape (convergent thinking) but then i had none. then, wala.....the gum im chewing could just perform tt function (divergent thinking) and wala, i sputter off the ecp back home on my vespa....though the gum is temporary and i had to restick it again as it melted due to heat 3-4 times along the way home, i finally got home.
Csikszenthmihalyi(1997) said:
1. Creative people usually have a broad range of knowledge about a lot of subjects and ar good at using mental imagery.
2. Creative people aren't afraid to be different-they are more open to new experiences than many people, and they tend to have more vivid dreams and daydreams than others do.
3. Creative people value their independence.
4. Creative people are often unconventional in their work but not otherwise.
ok, so am i creative? u can ask this urself too...just for fun...
1. i do have a broad range of knowledge about alot of subjects.....basically i acquired these thru experience, jobs i had and education. i studied mechanical engineering, thus i have technical knowledge of how stuff works, i was a cook (knowledge of cooking and food types, etc), i was a delivery rider (knowledge of routes and shortcuts, perhaps riding skills too), i was a crew at a fast food chain (knowledge of human relations, service, etc), a relief teacher (how to work with young adults), an assistant project/sales engineer (i was required to come up with presentations, so presentation n communication skills), a supermarket supervisor (how to manage people, inventory and getting sales), i was in a band and performed before live audience next to a local dj (stage skills),....wow...LoL jack of all trades master of none :P
2.hmm doesnt the above explain number 2? and ouh nursing, im more open to new experiences....and dreams...i dream everyday, daydream, vivid daydream....ppl around me can justify tt..
3.i always wanted independence, i mentioned many times i wanna live on my own in my own house...
4. hehe this one, i guess the vespa problem was evident....and my method to achieve sales volume when i was with fairprice was real unconventional tt my boss reprimanded me for ordering 10 cartons of essence of chicken which will add on to cost but i knew tt it will sell cos its on offer price and true nuff, i sold off all 10cartons of it....bt tt old man wasnt thankful...
and i also remembered how i got an A for bio practical....how i studied, complimentary to the text, i downloaded images of body parts, cells, etc into my ipod video.....i glance thru it every now and then, in between periods, while walking to the library, etc......and i also attempting to record useful information of theories into my ipod.....shuldve tot of the latter earlier and perhaps i couldve scored better for maternal nursing. i also suggested a sketch as a form of teaching for my group work which gained approval from my lecturer. and my psychology groupwork was done in a demonstrative manner via bandagings instead of the usual powerpoint presentation......hehehe....fun...school is fun...
ouh man, i love this module...hehehhe cheers...
complex
psychology is very complex indeed, after all its the scientific study of humans.....humans are complex beings......up till now, i still am not clear about some theories to it. perhaps next semester's topics would produce better understanding.
i hate the haze, its coming back again.....
were talking with a couple of frens and from the conversation, i guess itd be a long time before i purchase a car...hahaha...
and msn is indeed useful at times of distress......i was desperately wanting to clear my doubts and the time was abt 1am, i didnt want to sms my classmates for they could be asleep, so i switch on my mac......there....one of them is online....cool, we had a short discussion over a couple of theories....it did clear my doubt....so u see, the msn can be useful other than omong2 kosong...
at 130am, i could not absorp anymore, well i cant say that bcos ive learnt that the brain has unlimited memory well not actually, its just tt its capacity is so huge even if u live a hundred years ud never run out of it....okok i was more tired, so i showered before a well deserved break/rest/sleep. ouh about the capacity of our brain....mesti ada cakap ar bedek ar....abih asal kadang2 cam takleh masuk gitu, abih asal kadang2 part of our memory cam deleted gitu....actually, its not deleted, its still inside, its just tt its lost somewhere and we have a hard time to find it.....think computers, say u have a drive space of 100GB and after a couple years of usage, definitely u'll misplace some files or folders, its still there, its jus that u dunno where to find it, same theory to the brain....wala...if only we had a device macam wat the computer have, file search or for macs finder......i guess one day scientists will develop one....and humans can indeed retrieve informations of wat sort tt was stored in their memory......i cant imagine how useful it would be, retrieval of past memories could indeed help us develop further improvements for humans,
well actually there is some ppl with a diesease tt they cant forget things.....one person of such actually have to write the thing he wants to forget on a piece of paper and later burn it to make himself or rather force himself to forget the info. isnt it scary? and arent u thankful tt ure "normal" unlike him with super memory tt can indeed drive a person crazy bcos he simply cant forget, even the things he doesnt want to remember......
i miss my frens but this is a sacrifice for my future.....i want to live my dreams, a dream will only remain one if one doesnt pursue it. my dream was always pictured in my mind and one day it would appear before me.....insyahAllah.
