ouh wells...

hey, no doubt im disappointed but hey its ok....i had one of those days when i just wanna recollect myself, stay at home just do a self reflection, blast music off my tiny earphones, singalong, well do pretty much anything to cheer myself up. and all that while trying to juggle with exams last october, i had to move out, find a place of my own and all....and lucky i managed to clear my exams as well...

well nuff bout that....regarding parents, its normal for them to get worried over their kids, furthermore ure the only child. and them get stereotypical.....well, i dont blame them. the majority makes them stereotypical....just like the blacks, ppl always see black ppl as bad ppl....and in singapore....all malay boys are mats....and whats more if they ride a motorbike, worst.....its cos of the many around us....the negativity usually is more vivid and loud compared to the positive aspect....i mean like you obviously notice those mats who whack their throttles to get attention, who speeds on tiny roads, who sports tattoos all over than a malay boy who rides his bike to and fro work only right? well, i guess they are just worried....it would piss me off as well if i were in your shoes.

my mom, were always ok with my frens probably im a boy and she trusted me. but my uncles and aunties they too stereotype, judge and all....i remembered when laila rented a room at my uncle's place when she ran into problems....she came back late and all and my uncle began to judge her....i was mad, angry and regretted that i got laila to rent my uncle's place, if i had known id help her look for a place elsewhere... i guess thats part of the reason she talk less to me nowadays, she never even say hi on msn, well sometimes she does, just sometimes.....hahaha but i still remember how laila smiled over the webcam...such a joy to see ppl smile.....and you guys should too....

i told this to sarah, a fellow december baby....well she's now flying all around the world...yalah stewardess dok....i had rough times back in 2004...not only family stuffs but my bgr as well....i told sarah what i did to cheer myself up...look in the mirror long enough and start to make funny faces to myself...i ended up laughing at myself...i know it sounded mad...but tt was wat i did....sarah, laughed her ass off.. God, now that im mentioning my old frens, i start to miss them...the natters, the chats, the whines, the exchange of laughters and joy, the cheering up of each other, the encouragements and all.....now on my msn, there are left a few who still does the same, the rest are pretty dead when they are online, partly cos now they only get online at work...well, times change.....ppl get busy

well watever it is, cheer up my fren....dont dwell upon it too much....and regarding the staff at work...this is the trick, u start smiling....they'd feel awkward believe me....speaking from experience....although they might not smile at u back(sometimes they does after repeated attempts), they'd feel awkward and try to walk away from you, believe me.....i got this nagging auntie in my ward, a HCA(healthcare assistant), she's very particular bout little details, i told her nicely and i smiled, she's till angry and naggy but lesser and she managed to pull a little smile...and before i left work that day, i said thanks to her...she smiled again...:)

hope u get better.....:)