being realistic wasnt fun....

being realistic wasnt fun at all when i was young....i was a latch-key kid, i studied n passed my exams only cos i want mom to smile when she looks at the report book. my dreams, were never realistic....id either want to be a race car driver,a martial artist or something weird which normal kids wouldnt think of.....

being independent means choosing a path on my own, of course constant nagging makes me rail myself back to the correct path.....when in secondary school, new fad kicks in and so does new dreams....a rock star....hahahaha...i laugh at myself thinking how dumb i were......friends didnt help much at that point of time....they are either strumming their guitars, writing songs for their garage band....or grinding curbs and getting chased by the boys in blue.......we were too occupied in our short term goals...to appear in a gig, to be able to do more flips or tricks than the rest.....often studies was neglected....

many flunked, i was few of the lucky ones that managed to get 5 'o's, even after getting hold of the actual cert i still did not know what i wanted to do(cos i wanted to get into business but my 'o's weren't good enough!)so i opted for engineering, which i am eligible and the c.o.p was rather similar to what i got....and whats more, my uncles said, engineering have good prospects....sodasneh....

i still havent learnt my lesson, i flunked my common tests, warning letter reached the mailbox...i tore it off and bucked up from then on....n i never failed anymore.. only thing i failed to do something that i like....i love to draw n doodle n creating nonsense which i never thought i could go to school for...cos i was never concerned about my future....it was in my 3rd year, when i realised there were far more interesting courses of my interest.....but i felt it was too late, so here i am an engineering graduate with a diploma that landed me my first job with a measely pay of 1150......so uncle's wheres the bright future?....harharhar....

no use whining, make the best of what u have, i kept telling myself that, the road is not closed, theres always different directions to go. at 25, i am still not sure of what i wanna do.....to pursue what i like is abit to late, cos survival is more important....engineering seems bleak now, probably itll get better some day.... F&B, i'm afraid i wont achieve what i want....cos im not sure of the career path they have to offer...

so now, here i am, a freelance staging technician/a relief teacher/a relief lab technician/an occassional 'businessman'. im becoming like a friend of mine, jack of all trades, master of none....

everyday as i pull myself closer to God, i asked him to brighten up my future a little so i could make my mom proud and i could achieve my own goals....the fight will not end now....