my life's pathetic

i was so confident, that i told shareil 70% id get that job...but its been a week, no calls....haiz....i cant even get a freakin supervisor job at a supermarket...how pathetic is that....

tumoro, my fren kak diyana....she's done alot, calming my crappy self last year, she gave advice n encouragements and stuffs, i appreciate her....but kak, im contemplating whether to go to your wedding or not, its not because i dun want to witness u getting hitch its bcos of wat i feel...i know its rather stupid...but then again i hate to feel wat i would feel, cos i know what im gonna feel, i know myself too well.but ill decide tommorow kak & frankly & seriously i do wanna attend but say if i dunt, im sorry...

hmmmph....im not whining and theres no use complaining...what i can do is to find solutions and improvements....

i have so many things in mind....n that many things require money....for example my independence....im not asking much...cos i know the last time, i acted out of greed. now im not asking much a stable reasonable income is fine.....

my cuzzen's getting married next year...congrats juherman.....n my other cuzzin already has a baby girl.....and muhaled already getting serious...all of them already have a stable income, small or big it doesnt matter...and all of them are settling down...im the eldest among the boys...but i think im the slowest to progress...cos i was too ambitious and too greedy...i wanted to make it big, i didnt want to settle for an average job....but now things has to change cos my big dreams is taking too slow to develop, id settle with average first.....

theres some more things that i wish to say...but id rather keep it to myself cos, my blog has a rising number of readers i notice...and id rather keep my mouth shut that sounding very stupid....

gnite peepz.....congrats bach n mardiyana.......