the attack of the killer HR

i was excited for the interview.....cos for some ppl out there wouldve known i love cooking, wen i say cook i meant not instant noodles....i cooked for my ex gf once, i tried funky simple meals....n i guess f&b got some kind of attraction for me but i know it aint got much of a future. i was looking forward to get that managerial position with fish n co, i know itll be temporary but at least temporary fun. BUT the hr was a killer....she asked quetions and i meant questions, real questions and she kept repeating that same question when she didnt get wat she wanted, like "wat actually u want to do in ur life, or wat u wanna be" i kept saying tis is the path that i have turned to cos engineering was bleak, i guess that was the wrong answer...she asked then " wats ur passion" wen i answered, she then responded with "why not pursue a career with ur passion?" i know sometimes im a bad liar but she made me look like a stupid pinnochio.....sigh....

nuff with the hr.....im hoping to start work with ntuc cos i cant wait to finish up paying my loans...and back to at least $0 than minus$ heheh get wat i mean? after that ill start saving up, cos i wanna settle down in a few years time, i wanna live on my own, and leave my past behind for good just hope i find someone better.

im not saying this to put in good words about myself but i never get an opportunity to be bad....hahah watever that means...its always im the victim....im the toy at those fairs, where they throw darts at or shoot air guns at......its always im at the recieving end. some ppl can get the same item but still have it in a better way. i have to be somehow the guinea pig, the lab rat, they experiment their evil on me. felt remorse, regret, then they change and move on to something knew already better and not so evil.sometimes i wish i could get back at them but im not so evil after all.

it is sad but true, the world does work in that way. for the few of us, we are just purely unlucky to be experiencing that, i mean i never did any real harm to people before but somehow i still recieve...like wat ida said, susah skarang senang kemudian...maybe wat she said is true...(well she was refering to jobs) but there is similarities. oh by the way congrats on ur job at the lawfirm, sure enough u n an will tie the knot soon....

im starting to enjoy my life now, i laugh, real laughters like i use to have before the last quater of 2004. im back to last time, i laugh, real laughters though there are still worries at the back of my head, sadness but of different sort but im glad though im actually thinking. i want to entertain myself, make myself happy, cheer myself up, cos being alone meant i have to independent but i also have to bear in mind, prepare for my future watever that might come....cos in life there sooo many unforeseen incidents therefore its better to be prepared. but this is wat i ultimately want, a happy ending to my life. thats all.

sometimes i hate memories, sometimes i wish theres companies like in the movie jim carrey acted in "eternal sunshine" if im not mistaken. just wipe out the memories and thats that....but then again its working against nature.....

ive got so much on my mind....a blog isnt enough, i can type endlessly but thats life, interesting, those short blogs only meant filtered out life.....

today, im gonna laugh over a good animation movie....madagascar, i heard from adil & ai its good....i cant wait....