few hundreds

gained few hundred grams...daym....

stress + problems + nothing much to do + snacks + thick coffee = few hundred grams....

justice

Somehow I'm unsatisfied, I know I don't have any evidence, I only heard it from a reliable source and from my grandpa but somehow I feel I got to go forward. I will make an enquiry with the relevant authority to what can be done. Insyahallah, theres something that will rest my mind, if not let God punish him....but I will still need to try, 'usaha'. I'm sorry but I feel I have to fight for the weak. I'm sorry blood ties are no longer in my dictionary...

muhammad

how can someone be as pure as to accept their 'enemies' and even feed them, give them food. how can one be so calm without exhibiting anger, without giving in to anger?...how?

i tried hard but as anger flared between the rest, i tried to stop and calm them down but i ended up screaming at the top of my lungs. trembling, trying to calm myself down, trying not to over-react unnecessarily, i broke down.

as i said, i know what've been done and so for....i understand the final decision but what has been the abuse, the abuser will receive his retribution. its a sin to curse but i cant help it, if you can voice out 'macam mana tak nak pukul kadang2' thats a word for word quote, i can't help but to curse....no wonder the calamity that hits your family. forgive me god, i can't help it but to feel that way, forgive me god if i can't accept anyone of them because i feel betrayed. and perhaps, insyahallah, God will open up my heart again one day....but for now, some of those who were present last night at the meeting are just mere human beings, nothing more. if anyone who reads this and not happy of my thoughts, feelings and all, please do approach me, i know my blog is supposed to be private but i know some ppl have access to it and act as messengers... so be it. this is my journal, you wanna read, you have to accept it, you can't your pasal.

if God is what you claimed you find, if mosque is a place you frequent, you shouldn't have acted in an irrational way like yesterday. you are indeed a disgrace and a big irony to yourself. whats the cause? the actual cause? have you ever taught of it? have you ever considered giving a taught or are you ignoring it? if you have stayed....one of my back up solutions WAS THE CAUSE. i had delivered a subtle reason wat was the cause....those who stayed, if they had brains, they would know what i am trying to say but i doubt so, i doubt. but i hope it got him thinking why i wanted that solution and what IF THAT OLD MAN STILL have his own home.

fullstop, i put this case to rest, id come back when im more capable and dont question my actions when the time comes.

Hypocrites

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID. WATCH OUT! BEFORE WHAT YOU DID HAPPEN TO YOU! RETRIBUTION......BELIEVE EVEN IF YOU DON'T. MIGHT NOT BE FROM THE PERSON YOU INFLICTED UPON, MIGHT NOT BE FROM ME, MIGHT BE FROM ANYONE. GOD IS GREAT. SAY YOUR PRAYERS ASSWIPE.

irony

Irony is in, is the new culture that the middle aged and above adapts to...nothing really is what you see, nothing is really on the surface. The real deal is beneath the layers and layers of latex fake masks. They paint such a beautiful calm caricature of themselves to deceive the masses, that witholds the ugly true self, the reality, the demon, the mutha-effing deal.

2 fingers in the air, I bid farewell to humanity where all that lies beneath it are lies, mere lies, deception, atrocity....This calamity turned apocalypse will rot the humanity that was never really there and a finger to those intended, with a subtle 'fuck you' offered.

Respect is merely a word that came from the dictionary created by humanity. A word to symbolize something that has been nullified by the generation before me, so why should it even exist in mine? Why?

Antagonize me further till I'm at the verge of insanity as the society devours at my defects, flaws and as I try to devour you. Try to look back to the lands long lost and find out what was the cause of this holocaust. YOU, you never learn the things you taught, you are a big effing irony. A big effing disgrace.

Cover your eyes, hide the truth from registering to your mind, blind it with filth, money and 'happiness', ignore the ugliness, suppress your fears using your so called status to oppress the ones that is supposed to respect you by mere culture. but by mere reality you are indifferent or maybe even worst off, similar to the class of maggots, smelly maggots...Hide maggots, hide behind those veils that you portrayed to be pure....

I'm aware of how prude this entry is, it is just a reminder to all, respect is to those who deserves. Age, status, culture does not grant you that automatically...you have to earn respect not claim it.

Enraged, this is no angst, it is not insecure, it came with a purpose and if needed it packs a fistful of punch, though violence are mere actions that does not improve anything but merely suffice the need of the enraged.

God have given mankind, the ability to remain calm, patient and composed. I hope, I wish, I can be just that tomorrow.

This has been the wrath of sanity...feed on it, learn.

this week

this week im only looking forward to batman....friday probably.

salvation army probably with april over the weekend and hopefully my transcripts ready so i can kill 2 birds with one stone....

and the durian party shahreil's organizing...maybe ill ask cik.pah along....then lin can see....LoL and i think, ill contribute by making jellies....thats the least i can do for u peeps....a little broke lah....

i love my frens....i love u all who made my life a little more pleasant since i dunno when... especially the bb peeps...i appreciate u guys alot...stay true, keep the faith....

im trying to push aside negativities.....

aku tak tau

aku tak tau, aku tak tau....

theres buayas amongst my frens....my new frens....and i dont like it.....i think im gonna slowly move away for some of them...most are fine.....only some....sooooo buaya....

and....aku tak tau, aku tak tau....

mixed feelings.....

and aku tak tau, aku tak tau.....

thursday, i think i hate this coming thursday....i think ill run off at 9pm away to meet the fellows at jurong west....i hate what im facing...but i have to be strong...im not 1bit sleepy but id have to sleep....

and aku tak tau, aku tak tau.......
besok...

and aku tak tau, aku tak tau.........

ada orang nak sponsor aku suit, full-face ngan boots tak? aku nak vent my anger at the tracks...

ahhhh fuck la....

Project Md. Dimen.

He's at the mercy of his children.
His fate, happiness lies in the hands of those who came from him, literally.
Although he did not carry you for nine months, although he did not nurture you like a mother.
HE IS YOUR FATHER.

By blood, by DNA, by spiritual, by the will of God, without him you are zilch.

Your wives & your children did not bring you into this world.
It's your parents, your maternal parents, no matter what, they are your parents.

Wake up, take that veil off your eyes, take away all of those that blinded you.
Do you believe in retribution? Are you prepared for it? Have you put yourself in his shoes?
Maybe not, maybe you had but you're just plain ignorant and probably a fucking wuss.

Are you going to let ignorance control you and make the greatest mistake of your life?
CAN YOU LIVE WITH WHAT YOU HAVE DONE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?
CAN YOU LIVE A LIFE FULL OF HAPPINESS(THAT IS FILLED WITH LIE?)
DON'T YOU HAVE ANY CONSCIENCE? OR ARE YOU PREPARED TO LIVE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH GUILT?

Bow down a thousand times, pray a million more but do you think you can live with that guilt at the back of the head?
But who knows, the worlds changed, the values collided, everythings gone.
And so is respect from me to you guys.

I'm not asking for opinions, I'm letting out what's in my mind and if you have a huge problem with that, theres a tiny 'x' at the corner of the screen where everything will disappear with a click from the fingers, the strength that God gave it to you thru your parents that brought you to this world.

Sorry, I apologize because I realize I might sound rude to you but all of it have gone down the drain including RESPECT that you elders taught us so much about but you guys failed to be examples for me. RESPECT IS NOT MERELY KISSING THE BACK OF THE HANDS, IS NOT MERE ASKING HOW DO YOU DO? RESPECT IS ALSO SAYING THANKS AND GIVING BACK TO THE ONES THAT BROUGHT YOU TO THE WORLD. RESPONSIBILITY.

As a son, I know, I have not fulfilled my duty as well but I pray to God, when I am abled I will not follow the disgraceful footsteps of my elders. I pray to God, I'd give the best even if I can't do it all by myself, I'd get the best not some dumping ground. Mom say your prayers to God as this son of yours tear in hope that God will open up their hearts, their ignorance and may God give me strength this Thursday. I know I am not pious, I can't even complete the 5times a day, I sinned in many ways but at least I have a HEART. Alhamdullilah....

Tears brings nothing without action, Insyahallah, by the will of God, my many ideas that came from HIM too will help the future aged which includes me and you! The world is coming to an end, it is true and I believe so, maybe not in my lifetime but it is....

If the worst does happen, I pray.....for what, I shall not mention here...

fuck you

im going to say 'fuck you' to the masses in a subtle way thru a media......and shahreil will be the 'fabricator' to make it happen. and hopefully it gets aired, if it does happen, so my 'fuck you' will reach the masses.....fuck y'all self-centered ass wipes.

My dear elders

my dear elders, if you're not afraid of god and retribution, perhaps you'll be afraid of the law. family? my ass arh....

respect

how can i respect someone who's willing to dump his own father in a lurch in nursing home in JB? I can't sorry....and those who ditch their responsibilities as well, sorry, I can't. looks like i'll save a lot of petrol this coming shawal. alhamdullilah.

sherryfah

LoL.....talked to this supermoto girl....lepak dok....another non malay, malay-speaking girl....lepak....bobal tak pelat....

anyways, suppose to run today...but rained.....supposed to fix my signals today but lazy....supposed to go servicing with inin and elvan....have to go...LoL...ok gotta get ready... see u guys in a jiffy....will take foto of vicious after i assembled the CARBON signals...LoL

fun times

ouh gosh im sure to miss all this fun times.....at least la, at least i know the bb ppl will stay around for long time....cos even married with kids(some) still can come down for soccer and all...never forget their old time pals...

today, had a whale of time... met the lomotion ppl, ratnor and the rest to discuss on our upcoming 'project' take mugshots of members then will be exhibited at probably red-dot-museum....using instant cameras....expensive project but we're hoping to get sponsored or discounts....hopefully lah....but i bet itll be fun....after eating my super-pedas mee goreng at funan food court(comfy food court with cushioned seats...) we head to sungei road to hunt for cameras...i took the opportunity to buy bike stuffs at ahboy...idill got this working polaroid at $12 if im not wrong....then we head to tcc@nafa to discuss further and just lepak....idill generous as usual treat us to drinks and cakes....the cakes...superb, fattening, rich but who cares...LoL, i eat more so tumoro replace by running larh...LoL...anyway the tcc@nafa is a place to chill with bean-bags and all...power la...comfy....best...hehehe. will hang out there one of these days again.

after we part, i went off to meet another group of frens, the bb-ppl...as usual, full of laughters, jokes and all. i think they are the funnest ppl around. ouh and i cant wait for adil's orange...i bet it rocks...i think im gonna get a second hand cheap2 one too, for off-road riding, id love to try jumping off those dirt jumps. hehehe... but meanwhile ill concentrate on my supermotard. get a suit when bonus comes, i bet itll be fun...woots..anyways some late photos from yest...
SOME of the bikes.
some of the west side ppl...

and todays polaroids....
the wonderful bbppl.
the delicious cakes...

ratnor(the project manager) & idill the generous fellow....

the serious looking mi-boy(whos going to repair my instax), nadim and nick...

it was a fun filled day......u guys are lovely....:)

supermoto familia

supermoto.sg familia! try imagining 70 over supermotos of all kinds, drzs, aprillias, husky, ktms, wrs, xrs....etc...ouh guess what i saw the ducati hypermotard....and guess how much it cost? 35k sia.....hahaha that bald ang moh so much money to waste, 35k can get me a weekend car.....LoL