hullo 2008

started off the new year online.....forums, chit-chatting with frens, saz, nat, annie....before endulging myself into what i like doing alone, watching movies, except i dont like the idea of going to the cinema alone, did that a couple of times in my life though, batman and one show i cant recalled when my gf back then decided not to show, it was at greatworld city.

anyways, im not a party kinda person, though i enjoy a little music and chill just by the bar stool with pals...im no dancer and certainly the countdown isnt my cup of tea. its not that i dont look forward to 2008, its just that i dont see whats the big hu-ha is so ubber necessary, after all its just numbers and humans just attaching meanings to it....the real calender is the rise and fall of the sun, the moon, that counts how long time passes.....heh its complicated to explain what im trying to say into words......

so anyways, the last day of december was spent waking up late at noon, meeting yuan to do the barter trade for my frogeye for his crumpler + actionsampler. good deal i would say. good for him too cos he's into wakeboarding and he'll be at the waters pretty often and thus the frogeye is ubber suitable for him. after that i left for bukit batok, had lunch with fathih, western chic rice. before downing two chlopherinamines to ease the runny nose that irritates me. was sleepy and the medication helps me sleep for quite awhile. when i woke up mom still not home yet and i decided to go over to bird's to visit his mom who just got back from haj. he has a wonderful family and his fate is similar to mine, except his mother never did remarry, that's why he's probably happier. i respect my mom's decision to remarry when i was 12 but i know it wasn't her decision totally....the cruel society made her do that. i mean like whats wrong being a single parent? she succeeded in bringing me up single-handedly from i was 2 till i was 12. its just the pressure from society i guess....and she thought i needed a father to replace the one that left us. sigh, u must say why write down all this over here...well, like i said to many, im a man with very little secrets...to say no secrets at all is a complete lie.

ok so much so for that.....bird's family was very accomodating except one of his auntie whos rather unfriendly. the rest like Om', auntie hamidah, his mom and their elder sis were all great hosts that i don't feel like i'm a stranger to the family. tumoro they are having a feast to say thanks in away for the safe trip and all, to share joy....well at least thats my definition of a 'doa selamat'.

i was reluctant actually to go back to bb after maghrib cos i know that old man will be around. but today, i was like wtf, who gives a fuck, i have rights, its my right and i dont give a fuck, id do what i wanna do and i wanna meet my mom. so i went....the fuckhead as usual is praying to his god, the teevee....he's a shithead that he can quarrel with a 13year old over television. yeah he's that fucked up. anyways met mom, chit-chat for an hour or two before i left home for teck whye where i first intended to meet frens for coffee or somethin but they replied a tad too late cos i left home with the fan already and so dont expect me to stop by with that fan and anyways i reckon they'd come down straight. so, eventually i never went to habib's cos they were only coming down at 2300hrs and i was already groggy with another dose of the anti-histamines...

i switched on the tube...apparently watever was showing on teevee didnt amuse me, so i switched on cable, my mac and there back to the first paragraph....i decided to watch a movie, hida gave me the link yest and i was grateful nuff that i told her this, "u know what u just got my belated birthday present..." LoL cos she asked me what i wanted and being me, i jokingly asked her for ridiculous things that i know she cant get me......well why i say the link was like a present cos itd keep me awake, entertained as i usher in 2008......

so today i shared the link with saz n nat, i know they too are enjoying the movies and me, i really enjoyed "the number 23" jim carrey as the main cast. awesome show about an individual's obsession that ruined his life. well i find it entertaining and something i can relate to, cos after all id be working at a mental institute. various movies ive watched somehow has its mental elements in it. probably i was fated to be psychiatric nurse...cos i enjoy analyzing at ppl's behavior and believe me, it can be very amusing at times. im not saying about the psychiatric patients, im referring to the 'normal' ppl that we everyday meet, our friends, family and all.....seeing them manipulating others to get what they want, observing them lying to others to cover up their tracks or again getting what they want, occasionally letting the cat out of the bag by accident and at times making themselves look stupid and disgusting.....its amazing at how individuals behave.....how some would do anything to get ppls' approval or acceptance into the group, to see how they fake themselves to be accepted in the society, to see how they dress up to conform to the norms...

to sum it all up, what i feel is, individuals, should be individuals....do what you want, you don't have to please others all the time, occasionally yes cos i understand it give us the 'feel good' kinda feeling but why be a slave at the expense of another's joy? what about yourself? have you given a thought about urself? mind you, im not self centered either cos i despise those who manipulate others, lie and all for their own gains.....what im trying to say is just be yourself, be true, thats the key.....can u live with guilt? i know some can but i cant....im not saying i dont lie at all. i do but not unnecessarily and not just to get what i want and certainly not at the expense of another's turmoil or suffering...seems like this entry is getting a little too long and im confusing myself too....heh....i think id better stop typing right here....for those who get what i meant, kudos, for those who doesn't, well you don't need too so don't go asking me questions the next time you meet me.....heh! :P a happy 2008 to all.....i think i had a pretty good start.....cheerios.

~keep the faith, we are merely humans...

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