shoot! didn't get in, I knew it. Apa nak buat takda rezki. Anyways, the Ep-1 has been giving me joy, was kinda abandoned for sometime, now I am having lotsa fun with it. BTW looking for a 2nd hand wide angle, do let me know if you come across any!
shoot!
screwed up
I know I screwed up at work today.....Sigh there goes my chances of getting more recommendations. Oh well I just hope I still have more tiny bit of chance. I think I must really prove myself on the 24th. I must give a good presentation and show them all I know stuffs. What is done, is done, I can only apologize for disappointing my boss who thinks highly of me, who kept wanting to 'groom' me. I better not disappoint him on the 24th.
I already have back up plan however, as always. Put this way, if by next year, I don't have any promotion or progression on anymore nomination for valuable courses like the advance dip, I will have to move on. Still nursing but I wanna think like a family man, I think I wanna work in a 9-5 environment. Probably some outpatient clinic or as an educator at HPB or something, we'll see lah. Then from there, I will have time for a part-time degree and for my family.
All these are just plans, still we never know what the ultimate outcome will be.
Of course there is still dreams of the quite unlikely. Like my every dream of my own boss, like dreams of getting in and winning that ultimate prize, etc, etc. Some might come true or not at all. There's no cost to dreaming and sometimes it can be rather therapeutic and soothing. LoL.
Anyways, I prayed to God for the best. I hope my prayers are answered, InsyahAllah.
shot
I hope, I do get a shot. I knew I kinda suck at the answers and there were too many applicants but still hoping they like my shots. Some of the applicants were pretty intimidating, turning up with crazy equipments and talking trash, they even claimed they do freelance wedding, etc, etc. Anyyways, I just want the money so that I can bring my wife to somewhere further and I can pay off some loans,
Work- work sucks at the moment! Don't get me wrong, I love my job no doubt but I hate arrogant asswipes, so what if they are ranks higher? It doesn't mean they know eveverything! Still recalled my manager who ridicule me but in the end I bring in the sales. I think you have to stay open to everyones view, listen, consider and most of all treat them with respect. I just hope I'm not like that when I got higher.
Speaking of which my NM says he wants to groom me cos he sees potential. That's good but the assignment is alot of work. I have to teach the whole blk to use the defiblirator. I think it's good, cos I'd be exposed more but then it depends on how I perform and what kind of impression I will leave behind. It takes alot of preparation and I want to do my best! Wish me luck! ;)
Angry Me.
Dear God, I pray to have more patience in me.
I succumb to anger last week, which I was not proud of. In fact, I am embarrassed, still. I did not react rationally. Although I was merely standing up for my right for the wrongful accusation against me, I knew it was not the thing to do, to raise my voice against my superior. Although I already apologized for my uncalled for reaction and although he apologized for his wrongful accusation against me, things will never be the same. There's still a tinge of embarrassment in me and God knows what he thinks of me already now.
I should have just walked away like I usually do but I had enough. I know raising my voice wasn't the thing to do but I don't know if standing up was the right thing to do. In my opinion, I think it does help things to get better but letting my anger consume me wasn't the way to go. I hope you show him that I didn't mean it, I was just defending my rights, I just try to get the point across for all this while all the rest could do was just ignore him and made him think that he was right. I hope he'd change but at the same time I hope he forgot what had happened as well.
For now, I really hope what my SNM promised me becomes a reality. Advance Diploma next April, I feel both fear, excitement and the same time distrust. I was promised this October but apparently there were many applicants and being the fact that I was only a few days shy of being 2years or more(I guess thats the requirement) at point of application, I had to wait.
Anyways, I just hope that I do get in. When I graduate, I want to request for a 5day week, office hours duty. I'll loose the shift allowances but the increments because of the Advance Diploma and a possible promotion will level everything out. Meaning I'll probably earn just a little lesser or even the same. The reason is I want to spend more time with my wife, family and friends. I realize money isn't everything, although it does make some dreams possible, like racing for instance. :)
Well, it's just thoughts, if I do get normal duties, I can also pursue other stuffs like probably a degree or other courses that could be the source of additional incomes like real-estate for example. Just thoughts.
Whatever it is, it is all in the hands of God. InsyahAllah. I can only try my best and I can only pray that you'd grant. :)
Guide us to the straight path,
Like many, we tend to get lost a little at times. I just pray that this Ramadan, we'll be guided.
We tend to give in to emotions at times, we tend to loose patience at times, we tend to be angry and retaliate at times. I don't see a point 'fighting' or retaliating if it doesn't hurt me in any ways, I hope I can remind myself that.
I try, I try to forget many of the past, although I have forgiven them, it's hard to forget what they said, what they did to me and us.
This year, I'll try to pick up the courage to take a step forward, there's still a little bit of hate inside of me, if not for him, I'd not be like a nomad, moving here and there, I'd still be living with mom probably. But then again, everything happened for a reason, a thousand and one reasons. I don't know if I can do it but I will try. I don't see a point keeping grudges, even if we can't get along, the least we could do is forgive each other and have a closure.
There's many more things I'd like to say and do and I realize, there's not much time left. Even if I can live till age 60 and above, how strong will I be then? Will I be feeble and weak or still have the strength to be independent? Even if I am still strong and independent, 30years will pass like you never expect it to be. Look at me, I am already 31 and when I look into old photographs, it seems like it was only yesterday that I donned uniforms, that I was riding a scooter, etc, etc.
I hope God give me time to accomplish many things I wish to accomplish and I pray that I have a guided and protected path. Insha'Allah.
I miss racing.
311.....I hope that number will appear on the ranking board again. I wanna race again.
If I don't, I will frame up this photo as a memory......:P
speed demon haunting
a part of me still wants to race. Put on that leather suit and race. But a part of me thinks about the money needed to indulge in the speed demon in me. I know I will race again, when I don't know, probably when I am much more comfortable financially and probably when changi-circuit opens....pasir ris & changi! Bestnye....dekat!
'It's not my fault!'
Not my fault, not your fault, who's fault then?
It scares me to watch programs that show the earth's destruction. I wonder what kind of world my future generations will be living in. Unless we are smart enough to be able to migrate a neighboring planet like what the aliens did in 'Independence Day' then it's not so worrying but then again an army of aliens might be waiting for us, probably in their minds 'food', LoL.
Anyways, I think it is inevitable. The least we can do is try to slow down its deterioration, as much as possible. I just hope I'd be gone by then or at least humans can come up with something to save the earth like how they come up with luxuries of life, like cars, air-conditioners, etc....I hope.
Octane Dilemma
Ok, so housing pretty much settled. Career on track, just waiting if I got opportunity to upgrade.
Then a couple of weeks ago, my uncle broke me a news that left me wondering if I should or shouldn't ever since. He is selling his FXDL, his HARLEY for an uncle to nephew price! Its a still given the fact that he service the bike on a regular basis and Zack backs that up as he was a harley owner and a sales-rep at Harley as well.
The thing is I still love the fun supermoto, my DRZ. before this I only thought of upgrading to a bigger cc supermotard but my uncle's offer is so hard to refuse. It is partly, the Harley is a bike I have always wanted. When I was still tiny and grandfather was still around, all the boys in the house rode big ass choppers but all japanese lah...my mother use to give the term 'motor-tayar-gajah'.
It's like fun vs dreambike. hehehehe.
I wish I can have both but then, it'll kill me...hehehe unless I have cash for both. One thing I am afraid is, if I take over my uncles badass, I will miss riding my supermoto. Worse if the changi track is up....I can't track and race.
I am still lost till today, anyways my bike still have got no confirmed buyer.
Well...we'll just wait and see lor.....meanwhile, here is what I might be riding....>>
youtube makes me want the bloody harley.....uggghhh!
Our own.
Our own home soon....it'll make us and some people a thousand times happier or even more.
Soon....mom can drop by anytime during her off days and just chill. Ayun can go to school from there which is nearer. Mak can come over anytime she wants since it's like a bus ride away only to de-stress or something. If Dad from Indonesia were to come by he can stay over.
When.....we have kids, they can run around the space their mom and dad own. When we come home from work, we don't have to worry about facing/disturbing other people in the house. When we are hungry we can whip up a simple meal anytime over our stoves. When our laundry bag is full, we are free to do our laundry and not wait for the washing machine to be empty. We can stuff our own fridge with loads of Ben&Jerrie's and everything else we like. We can watch the channels of our choice on tv and not have to bear listening to super loud irritating keronchong late into the night. We can laze around anytime we like, move freely and not feel worried that people might label us.
I......I can walk around in my boxers only....LoL. I can maybe keep my classic prized vespa(if I get one) in my own space. I can paint with whatever colors I like. I can come home whatever time I please. I don't have to hear to sarcasms. I can show 'em the middle finger that WE can do it and it only takes time and WE don't freaking need your lousy shelter that house hypocrites and more.
I am glad we are finally free....I am glad my wife have faith in me. I am glad we did it. Now it's just proper financial planning and planning in general. Now we need to plan the future for our kids.....and retirement.
Meanwhile, what's next? Probably a much needed class3 and a car that I like? When? When we have the means of course. :)
Praying hard for that promotion and place for advance dip. It'll mean a stepping stone for me to go further or anywhere else if I decide not to stay put. We'll see how when the time comes.
Till then, wish me luck guys. :)
Thanks for the support Ain, mom, Mak, my uncle and of course my friends. Love ya guys...
got to got to
gotta continue running, keep my legs, heart and mind strong.
gotta watch my diet, loose some pounds so i can feel alot lighter and skate again..hehehe
gotta keep on saving and saving...
gotta keep myself busy at work, so i can climb higher...
gotta keep on dreaming, so one day it'll all be a reality like what I did before and always.
gotta keep on being optimistic, gotta keep the faith.
InsyahAllah.....Alhamdullilah for those stuffs that you have given/granted us.
for now, i just feel like skating but weak knees and 84kg is a no-no....
ACDC
ACDC is motivational.
Anyways, I thought I am rather unlucky at times but actually I am. Very. On top of my wonderful wife. I am blessed with choices. Although our journey had bumps here and there but we got to choose, we got to leave.
For now, I am just hoping for that promotion so that I'll get an increment cos the dough is more important than the decor.
I am hoping for that unit. And I am hoping to get chosen to go for advance dip cos that's like a stepping stone to be an educator or home nurse and go on 5day, office hours duty.
I am planning for the future, well actually I have already planned but I didn't know that the plans have to go so slow when executed. In the planning stage, it seemed so easy but I guess reality hit me and was a little disappointed but in actual fact it is still ongoing, it never failed.
Thanks wifey for keeping me in track, I realize I can be weak at times.
Anyways, whatever it is, we have tried, that's most important. The rest we leave it to God to decide.
Back in black
I hit the sack
I've been too long I'm glad to be back
Yes, I'm let loose
From the noose
That's kept me hanging about
I've been looking at the sky
'Cause it's gettin' me high
Forget the hearse 'cause I never die
I got nine lives
Cat's eyes
Abusin' every one of them and running wild
CHORUS:
'Cause I'm back
Yes, I'm back
Well, I'm back
Yes, I'm back
Well, I'm back, back
(Well) I'm back in black
Yes, I'm back in black
Back in the back
Of a Cadillac
Number one with a bullet, I'm a power pack
Yes, I'm in a bang
With a gang
They've got to catch me if they want me to hang
Cause I'm back on the track
And I'm beatin' the flak
Nobody's gonna get me on another rap
Don't look at me now
I'm just makin' my play
Don't try to push your luck, just get out of my way
CHORUS
Well, I'm back, Yes I'm back
Well, I'm back, Yes I'm back
Well, I'm back, back
Well I'm back in black
Yes I'm back in black
hooo yeah
Ohh yeah
Yes I am
Oooh yeah, yeah Oh yeah
Back in now
Well I'm back, I'm back
Back, I'm back
Back, I'm back
Back, I'm back
Back, I'm back
Back
Back in black
Yes I'm back in black
Out of the sight!
Sad
No doubt I'm hurt. A minute ago, I was about to give in to my emotions, sadness and all BUT then again I realized I have been thru worse and I pulled through. I realized my strength and like vacuum, my tear ducts sucked in all those tears and in the bottom of my heart goes 'so what!'.
I think it's God's way of testing me or his way of making me realizing my strengths or his way of punishing me for my deeds last time. I don't know, only HE knows.
Along the way home, my brain runs like the noise on my Suzuki, it ran through a flight of thoughts and ideas. It's like on nitro.
Many things coming up, I know it'll be tough but I bet I can do it with the support of my love Nurain. Plans will still be carried on, dreams still lives.
Eh budak!
Eh budak, seblom kau cakap kau selidik dulu boleh? Kalau senang sangat dapat rumah ingat aku nak duduk dengan nenek kau yng merepek, suka sindir2 orang, bila friday night nengok keroncong sampai pagi tak ingat dunia, tak ingat mati? Pikir lah babe.
If getting a flat is so simple, I would've move out already.
I don't need your help, I never asked, you offered. If you never offer, I would've still be staying in Teck Whye Lane but then, everything happened for a reason, like my wife said. Else, probably I wouldn't be close with Ain and who knows even not ending up together. So thanks hor on that part. Other than that, please use your brain or at least read the papers and keep yourself updated cos even if you don't trust me, you can trust Straits Times right? Go ahead trust your demented, psychotic, altered mental state granny for all you care. Cos come Sunday bye2.....although it meant me forking out $600 per month, I'd rather be paying that than paying bills for someone who diss my wife, cos they'd be drinking the water from what I paid, my hard earned money. No blood and tears lah, don't bedek lah ......
I am so tempted to paste the post that I saved over here but anyways you posting it on facebook was public enough and hey just showed that you are an angel with the brains of a 3 year old. LoL
Gnite peeps. You want trouble? I can give you trouble, my pleasure.
Check, Check it out
For those still into skateboarding, no matter whether you still skate or not, here's a link whereby it'll be a one stop place covering all about skateboarding, in Singapore mainly and throughout the region and also elsewhere around the globe. I feel it's great for those who's lazy to surf through the wide web. Cos TFM will get you all the scoops you wanna know bout skateboarding. For those who still have skateboarding within their souls, check out>>>
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