hmm kay, face it ive grown...hahaha.....i know....im lazee....i pump but i dun run.. sheesh.....ive gained 3kg, although im pretty happy at some parts but im really worried bout the tummy....hahaha....sid2, get ur lazy ass after school to the damn gym, uve been procrastinating since last week......
im stuck on old school........old school music have been blasting of my altec lansing speakers......old school rocks.....think nirvana, metallica, slayer, sublime, rancid, offsprings, rhcp....more n more.....
ok ok
arrghhh sleep much needed
i very well needed sleep.....but not so early tt i end up waking at this hour..sheesh
okok....i just have to log on,its like a need...hahaha....anyways, sorry sayang i overslept, i tot id take a nap at 930 and wake up at 11pm to go online but i just overshot, i guess i was too tired, especially after my rehab exercise on my knees...
im trying to do them at least once a week....i dont want to be dependent when im old. i wanna be a strong old man, very much independent and grow old with my sayang as i watch my children start their own family....hehehe fikir panjang sak...
anyways, i just had to check out my 2 favourite blogs, shahreil's n of course nani's.
nani didnt want ppl to bother her, i hope im not one of them....hmm, if anything or anyones bothering u pls tell me yeah? my nicks vicious for a reason u know...hehehe
shahreil was feeling rather upset cos he makes effort and no one like appreciate, they more like take things for granted....i hope u dont feel that i am one of them kay? im just too bz nowadays but i do reply to ur msges, even though i was in a middle of a lecture n just now a discussion....its not tt i dun want to play soccer anymore, its jus tt i have so much things to do.....i actually long to play soccer but many factors just tells me to stop for awhile.....one reason is my knee, 2ndly school stuff, 3rdly soccer has gone into the unenjoyable activity region SOMETIMES(perhaps next time i play, i try not to be in ramop's team).
adil smsed me wanting to borrow my vespa bcos he wants to send his bike for a paint job. i declined not bcos im stingy but for many reasons and ouh not becos i dun trust my fren to look after my bike......
u see, my caramella is born in 1970 and still with standard engine and parts, no mechanical modifications watsoever. its delicate in a way cos u cant ride it fast&far and its much more delicate especially when it dons 8inch rims....i had to spend close to 500bucks last year just to repair the flywheel and shaft, cos ive been using it to and fro woodgrove everyday......and wats more its front shocks need replacement, imagine shahreil's px200 sampan.....its just not as bad. its not really safe to ride far and everyday....and the breaks they need replacement, so u see, i have my reasons and i hope ure not pissed tt i declined straight away, cos i know my scooter best. sorry adil.....hehehe wait till i get a harley or tt 540ktm, u can borrow my gilera anytime dude......ouh shahreil actually borrowed my vespa before too, wen the days it wasnt so fragile....
hmm i think id catch some sleep and wake up at 5am for revisions, i didnt do any last night, cos i came back at abt 830 after my assignments, makan n then sleep....
ouh 1st august was nurses day!....my first nurses day!
damn....
its like waddafuck.....no pay?...i called and the hr simply said the payroll dept can only process my pay together with august pay....waddafuck...wad they've been doing sak? sleeping?????? and she said theres nothing she could do.....how inefficient is that? cant she work something out? like a cheque or something? dumb HRs....
and bcos of tt, i have to really budget myself with only barely just 400bucks for a month.....and i have to pay my monthly installments tts like 215bucks... which leaves me with 185 for me to survive on food, petrol and not mentioning bills, which i guess have to be carried forward to next month....now it seems like i have to forgo movies and probably outings and all......fuck the HRs. im very angry here.
fuckstrated
Tomorrow is 1st august liao....and they have yet to pay me and come friday i need the bucks to purchase uniforms....and my funds are running low......seriously low... damn!......im gonna give a call tumoro and hassle them if they delay my pay.... its so fucken fuckstrating.......sheesh!....
anyways lets get on with the good news....the first ICA(in-course-assesment) was done well enough to get praises from the lecturers......haha good actors...haha me is it? well we have to do an act to act out and demonstrate therapeutic communication. phew....i overcame my nervousness and i manage to act it out calmly.. and man was i happy, i recieved positive comments from most of them....yeay.... i hope we got a good score for tt one......thank god.....just hoping that madam chin would give us good marks....
5minutes to slumber....
love makes me happy....i love my nani and she loves me too....
i never expected any gift from her or any sort, cos she is still struggling to look for a new job....and her part time job i guess is only enough for her daily expenses and to contribute to the household.....but today, she sort of suprise me with a bedsheet set....gee...i must admit, its nice, seems like she knows my taste.....
nani, thanks for being by my side yeah....thanks for everything....
nani is the reason i guess im coping with stress and the trumendous workload that the accelerated program has dumped upon us overgrown students.......and its her tt i kept telling myself to keep focus...though sometimes honestly, i do go offcourse and sorta laze or slack......another driving force and my frens who trusted me to do well, and the last driving force is to prove many wrong.... its not tt i cant be where i wanna be, i just take a longer time....like a child growing up, they have different pace, u cant compare a child with another cos they are different, they are special in their own way....they progress their own way.....
life might not be rosy for others and mine wasnt this wonderful before....i pray for all those facing hardships of watever it might be, i pray they'll pull through and tt they will never give up and have faith in themselves no matter how others have given up on them, its never the end until ur heart stops pumping....so keep going...
this goes to myself too......its my way of telling myself its not the end yet...
i have dreams, i have things i wanna do, i have things i wanna achieve......
im going to dreamland soon, jus finished making flashcards so tt id remember my dialogue at tumoro's 1st presentation....and ouh last friday was nurses day!... happy nurses day to wak jumila, wak zainab, ruyani(my fren), siti(nani's fren) and qistina(my cuzzen)....
speaking of qistina, i wish her family the best, although sometimes i do not like wat they do but then again, wat they are facing recently just made me feel sad for them.....its not sympathy im feeling but rather empathy......may Allah bless them with a solution or something....
gdnite peepz.....all my love to my wonderful ppl ard me.....
the longest time together
it was the longest time we spent together last night....from 8pm to about 10am this morning......and it was fun....but too bad both of us were already tired from work and me, from school....
last week, we decided to spend a night together, u know just chill or something... so i scouted for chalets at the last minute but sadly its fully booked at sentosa cos i dun really quite fancy the rest of the chalets.....and aloha is pretty big for only the 2 of us......hahaha....so we decided to camp out....on wednesday we scout for the camping essentials.....of course the tent......but we didnt buy yet cos nani have yet to get approval from her parents tt she is going to a 'chalet' hahaha.....
so after the approval, i went to imm again on thursday, to see the tent at giant....but luckily i came across sports connection and decided to take a look.....and i got a great deal, the tents was on discount and i got a 3men tent for only 21bucks! i grabbed solid fuel & charcoal after i fail to find any gas burner at imm......
friday was the day.....hmm i concentrated in school cos i know i wont be studying after tt....but at the same time im distracted at times by the excitement and i kept thinking wat else do i need or wat to do.....hehehe....
i was about to leave when i saw lighting....in my mind, oh no....but i went ahead and lucky enough we beat the rain......we stopped by katong sheng shiong to get some more stuff(which we never finished) and had our dinner at kfc....hehehe believe me i was excited but was hungry too....hahaha...
it was so comical of me, when we reach east coast, first of all i miss the carpark, the usual spot the gilera boys have their bbq....so i had to turn one big round....
and then we were there, i cant decide on a spot and finally settled for the usual... hehehe....and then, wen it comes to setting up the tent, i was rather slow and i had it wrong the first time, and our 'neighbours' had theirs done although they came wen i was already half way thru it.....hahaha...malu sak...obvious first timer...
finally all set up.....i realised, we were short of speakers and the essentially important lantern or flashlight.....luckily i had my k750i, it helped out abit...
we had nothing to do, we lazed by the hours, scribbling, and tic tac toe and me and my licorice seesha....we couldnt sleep.....so we decided to cook sumthin....haha i always love cooking and playing with fire....and guess wat, i burnt my thumb as i was trying to light the charcoal for my seesha with the solid fuel....imagine my whole thumb in flames...hahaha...lucky nuff i manage to put it out....farnie sak...
good news i wasnt hurt or anything like tt, it was only numb for a few seconds...then it was fine..... after we stuffed ourselves with instant noodles and tuna, we lazed around again, until nani felt sleepy...and she went to sleep first....
:( hehehehehe.....
we woke up early at 6am.....packed up, wash up and had our breakfast at west coast mcdonald's....such a long time since i had breakfast with someone i love so early in the morning.....
overall, i had fun....hmm let me say that again, overall WE had fun.......i love her for just loving me....i love the fact tt she actually want to spend time with me..
i love her for just being her......
although wat we had were so simple but id love to do it again.....thnks sayang...
cells gets old everyday
tts wat dr.san told us, cells get old everyday......hahaha....probably tts why as we grow older our absorption memory is limited.....u cant go on and on slogging on the books......tts why i have to stop after a couple of hours and here i am.....
hmm....im wondering if some ppl are thinking tt im like the "peanut who forgot the shell"(translate in malay!) hahaha....ok its lame.......bout tt issue, i might just be paranoid, for all i know they just dun want to disturb me studying....
hmm i saw farah's pic on shahreil's blog, she's hospitalised, well i dunno for what but i hope she'll be fine....life is really precious u know....and after being in nursing i treasure life even more.....to add on to that, my handicap, my bad knees... i learnt to treasure them more...i told myself, i will only skate when i can afford that sportsbrace which will cost a few hundred dollars....
i dream....and its good to know tt nani dreams of it too, a future together.... and i hope it does come true....
id like to take this opportunity to wish everyone out there the best in watever they do and may luck be upon them, especially my only one nani...i hope u get tt job soon. ure so miserable now at QT.........
to the gilera boys, hey guys, count me out for the bbq thingy yeah......nxt time probably, how bout december during vacation and ummm my bdae....hahahha....
gnite peepz......tumoro, full day of school followed by an hour of knee rehab, packed!.......well, gnite...nurses need to sleep to.....LoL!
yeay
finally ive rectified my computer problems and now, im surfing with ease, i hope i wouldnt have those awful pop ups again....and ouh i strongly recommend "slimbrowser" a web browser i downloaded at download.com, its much faster than ie or mozilla...
i gotta study....study, study......project works is pilling up everyday, so i gotta manage my time wisely.......this weekend is probably the longest ill spend with my b for a day.....looking forward to it.....
shahreil n frens, sori i couldnt join for soccer, reason number 1, my knee problem, reason number 2, school assignments, reason number 3, very bz already....... ill make up at alif sessions during the weekends....hehehe miss u guys....realli....
my sayang, keep on trying, hunt for tt job.....im always here should u need me or if u need my support....i know how frustating it is to hunt for jobs and not getting it and ppl ard u think negatively of u....ive been there........gd luck.....love ya.
i love babies.....
watching the video during our tutorial really made me so wanting to have babies.... it happens everytime i see cute little human beings......just like 2weeks ago when i see nabirul n his brother.........i want some of my own some day.....hehehe.....
im jamming my brains this couple of days....i need a well deserved nap....gnite peepz.
life
meaning of life to the family i interviewed, MR.B said his family & kids were the meaning to his life.......for me its nani....id like the whole world to know tt.
i just like to take this opportunity to mention tt nobody's perfect, everyones got a flaw or two or mebbe more and everyone had done something wrong at least once in their lifetime. so i guess, its just right to forgive and forget.....but damn u sometimes the forgetting part is so damn hard to do. tts not the point. the point is everyone is somehow given mistakes to learn from it......after that everyone involved in it gets better with life and so on....dont u think so?
hmmm....back to my daily life......hmmm i find tt ive made a music transition.....im now enjoying more emo, hardcore scremo kinda thing....to get u a better idea, think love me butch, a vacant affair, nothing to declare.....and sometimes real ol skool hardcore, integrity.....i dunno probably its the school environment, i need tt energy vibes to last me for 9hours of school each day......so the screaming and the distortions really wake me up when my eyes are 3/4 shut.....anyways i think syarul's voice is wonderful........
i was chatting with my classmate yah nee, we talked abt how we finally became nurses. hehehe i think im rather fated....i think this is my destiny.....siak ar cam orang tua2 sak....hahaha.....bt then im 27 oredi..... ok back to my destiny....first of all, 3 of my aunties are nurses!, my cousin is a nurse, the girl i use to date is a nurse, hmm so i guess it runs in the family excluding the girl....and....i was a st john's member back in school, well for a year only hahaha......then in NS, i was a combat medic through out till now.......see, tts why...i say mebbe im fated.....
i was thinking too, i badly wanted to become a teacher but refused....tt too has got some family thingy i guess, my grandfather was a teacher, my uncle is a teacher...
haha but ultimately, its the stability, the career, the chance to work with ppl, the opportunity for overseas employment, the chance for a probable migration....i still want to live the dream of having a family living comfortably one day in a big house, with my fav scooter in a room, a volkswagen beetle or minibus parked below or a those mini sports car....i want to be able to provide the best for my future family, i want my son to have a perfect bringing up, and ultimately make my mother proud, i love my mother....
speaking of working with ppl, yah-nee asked why i enjoyed teaching, i said the kids, i enjoyed working with kids and she said i should volunteer for club rainbow, i think i will in the coming vacation....it will be an eye opener and helps u to be not so selfish in life and think about urself and ur gains only...seriously after i took up nursing, i feel tt i have improved a little to become a better person....slightly i guess but seriously, i tend to care about ppl feelings more.....like my frens example, im less temperamental lately....im much more calm....if any one pisses me off, i think back why he or she behaves in such a way and wat would be the reason and i try to rectify it....its more interesting that way rather than fighting anger with anger.....cool huh?....try it urself.....
i told my fren, i think im a slacker, weekends usually i only study abit and like yest after the project case study, i never open my books.....my fren told me, a slacker wont say hes a slacker bcos he wont think about it, hes a slacker.... make sense to me..... a slacker wont worry that he is slacking....right?
shahreil gonna sell me his monitor yeay!.....tt means ill save a little on the new pc, ive told to myself and my mom, tt ill get fathi and ayun a new pc, for their school work and all......end of this year perhaps......ill get those system from sim lim.
i really havent been spending time with my frens lately......and yest i had to turn them down cos i got things to do and we had to go to bras basah to look for books and i promised nani ill fetch her....well last week i killed two birds with one stone, i met my gilera frens first and later at night i spend time with the bb boys at baybeats......sorri guys its not tt i forget bout u guys but now my time is so limited, most of the time im tied down with school and anything related to it... but watever it is, u guys, the bb boys are still close to my heart, ure the bros tt helped me pick myself up during rough times, ure the ones tt accepted me without questions, giving me advices and sometimes encouragements.....love ya guys...if it weren't for you guys i dun think id be where i am now,......just want u guys to know u were the driving force towards me pursuing my dreams......thnks guys......
i gotta study now, probably light my sheesha and enjoy a little mint or peach... haha
love is..
i love my sayang alot.....and cos i finished early jus now, i rushed home to get my helmet to fetch her from work....a very quick movie at six and i was home before 9pm.
i love her lots and thats all i need to say....
schools tough...but coping well, thanks to those around me, frens, classmates and my love.....one bad thing is, we're just stuck with one lousy group member......sigh...
but lucky nuff the other 4 are good....
lots of work since the week began.....sigh.....journals, interviews, research....sigh..
but hey, its the road to becoming a qualified nurse....i gotta keep on working hard...
c ya ard mates.......
paranoid android
im more like a worrying android....hahaha.....was doing research online on domestic and family violence last night....talked to shahreil about how i worry if i go a day without any revision.....i told him, maybe i worry too much tt at times i feel like ive sinned if i never study......he said, now then u know....hahaha....
im not saying im a top notch student where i study everyday till the wee hours....i just do the basic revision, meaning understanding the subject and theres not much time left to really go in depth....this is the drawback of the accelerated program, uve got so many modules to cover.....so u have to stop once u understand the concept to go on to another one.....and to add on to the workload, theres lots of research/assignments & group work.........these are both good and bad. good it helps to pull ur final results percentage, bad it occupies time and cut ur revision time by at least 30%..... however im not really complaining cos this time around, theres real interest.....so it helps in away........i guess ill never stop learning.....i know its still a long way to go but ive already had something on my mind. once ive completed this course and a proud staff nurse, ill pursue something else part time, which is too my interest, design/animation, photography/videography & guess what, these interests might in fact provide extra income.....i can always freelance...
im a dreamer but i do try to make my dream happen so those who make fun/criticise me or frown upon my decisions in the past suck on my 2 middle fingers....
baybeats....
it wasnt as enjoyable as before....for a MUSIC lover like me, i was pretty pissed bored.....the crowd was such an eyesore, underage trendy-assholes swarmed the venue. and some of the local bands were such a disappointment, the organizers apparently didnt do enough homework..... the quality of some of them just put singaporeans to shame...especially when there are good bands performing like one buck short & love me butch.....im not pretty happy this year.....we'll wait for nomad....maybe nomad i can bring along nani, as the music at womad are more acceptable to the general crowd...
i love nani to the bits...i dunno why but even while i am with my frens i do think about her and decided to drop an sms or two.....we even am already dreaming as where we would have our home.....we were considering ang mo kio, since i work at buangkok i wanted sengkang but she dont want to be far away from her parents.... for all u know i would be buying somewhere in bb....hahaha cos i cant really bear to part with my mom n my wonderful frens but id like to be independent....anyway, we would go with wats best for us ultimately......u might think that i think too far but hey its never to early to plan....at least have a realistic plan than put up a false image that everythings going to be rosy and sweet and the end nothing happen.....thats why im against some customs and all.....
ive gained 2kg....oh my gosh ive tipped the 80 mark...damn.....it must be because ive been slogging thru the books and theres not much physical activity, i used to religiously futsal every wednesday, jog & skate occassionaly with naz but now, zilch, zero.....i just work the cells in my brains, no wonder i got a flu attack last week. im gonna drag my lazy big fat ass to the track or gym at school starting next week. and stop the 2times a day massive starch intake.....ive been eating rice 2 times a day ever since i start school...i use to eat only 1plate.......it must be the brains demanding more intake in order to have chemical reactions and maximize brain activity.hahahaha im nuts.......okla gotta go....u know, im supposed to sleep up to one but i woke up at 9+, might as well utilize the time revising....see ya guys... ouh biology is a killer.....
ouh meanwhile i so want to buy the cds of these bands, a vacant affair(sg), nothing to declare(sg), love me butch(kl), one buck short(kl)....quality music they have..
when fun adds on to stress
my brain was literally jammed today....after absorbing so much for the past week and a half or so....
today, i just needed the well deserve break...actually from the 3 days of extensive revising.....i tot i wanted to watch a movie with my darling at clementi but then there were no good shows. so i decided to play soccer to destress as it was wednesday, soccer day.....i don my fake germany jersey n shorts.....met the guys....first of all the lights not working just spoils the mood....and then wen i finally get to play....that was wen i totally loose my mood.....from expected fun....it became stressfull when i recieved 'serious' INSTRUCTIONS from a pro footballer......i mean i came for fun, to kick ard, i know im not good at it, i dun mind ppl showing me how to do it right but wat i experience jus make me feel stressed up and the fun instantly vanished into thin air( firstly i dun get a whiff of the ball, 2ndly im just like a dummy at the goal post, 3rdly i screwed up wen i tried to get hold of the ball n not the pro)....instantly soccer become the most boring past time.....so i decided just to go back and study instead....or probably just chat with my b online if i just cant get myself to study.........
probably soccer wasnt such a good activity to destress.....probably it will be if it was played with fun rather than such seriousness......anyway hope he represent singapore one day.....hahahaha.....
this is very inspiring
read the article....its very inspiring and encouraging for me.....look, i might even have my own clinic, if i work hard enough and my capabilities get realised...but to make all that possible is to first dream and secondly work real hard....im sure she worked real hard to get where she is now......
3 months
3 months ago, this day is the day wen we first held hands, wen we really find it hard to part, wen we actually felt love.....i love my sayang alot and i hope things will go smoothly for us and may we last forever....i wanna spend my future with u, i want to grow old with u, smiling looking back at times.....i love her so much and i guess shes the best thing that has ever happened to me by far....i cant wait to graduate, i cant wait to be officially working, so tt i can spend most of my life with u....
i love ya, thnks for being with me....
"i am freaking pissed off today.. so freaking pissed!!KK called and told me to come back to work. This is not the first time anyway. I really hate it when i have to work on the off days. I can work on weekdays.. even if it is my off days but pls leave my weekends UNTOUCHED. Do you know how precious my weekends are?? I have been waiting for the 5 days to pass and it was such a torture.
I didnt get to see him and let alone talk. Even if we meet at msn, we hardly chat also.. get my point? I just dont want to work on my off days. My weekends are precious like diamonds. I just want that whole day to be mine and his alone. UNDERSTAND???"
that was taken off my darling's blog......sometimes i feel bad tt i sort of neglect her since i started school....but i do this for the future...i love her so much, knowing tt she really misses me tt much.......i asked her just now, if she's bored or felt lonely while i was away.....she does, i asked why she never call or sms me, the reason was she doesnt want to 'kacau' me.....she's so understanding, ive never met someone like her before, my past 'ones' were so petty....im glad i found her...i love her so much and i hope she'd be the one....
i wonder why....
ok liking 2 modules doesnt mean id be a good nurse or ill love nursing whole heartedly but hey, i didnt expect id be so interested in those two modules(anatomy & physiology and psychology) and i wondered why i didnt take up nursing after 'O' levels, why i was so immature to think its a girl thing.....if i were to take up nursing i think, i would be a happy nurse but hey i wouldnt know if id still screw up at tt age.....but at present, i just wanna do well....tts all and i wanna equp myself with the best of knowledge i can attain......
today yet another sacrifice.....my gilera frens wanna meet up, but i just gotta understand wats at lecture....i was satisfied and real tired in the mind...that i slept a whole good 4hours before shahreil called.....i think i overslept and wasted like 2 good hours which could be spent understanding another module....its only now tt i realise time is so precious and i actually feel it when i wasted it..... like the hours slacking last night half the time i tried to study, like the extra uneeded sleep last night, like the time surfing ebay and other online shopping or auctions, like the hour spent on my shisha.....i could go on and on...
tmoro, i gotta meet my baby after a whole week......i miss her, lots and i hope she does too...
oh before i go, heres something tt i learned and found out....phobia/fear is learnt.. and it can be unlearn....in other words it is developed...u can even fear a cute little rabbit or a lovable cat if u developed fear for it from ur childhood....
tt explains adil's fear for cats....hehe....and cockroaches......so actually u can unfear ur fears by simple therapy....but itll take time, since prob for 20 over years u were "taught" and u adapted to fearing it, watever it is...
and believe me, even though my lecturer(a psychologist) who probably believed in things tts only measurable, or in other words can be recorded down or measured do believe in the supernatural, the unmeasurable, ghosts, although up to date there still isnt a way to provide evidence tt it does exist......scary huh... well he was speaking from his experience..... ok gotta go, writing bout it is sending chills to my spine....gnite...
time flies
3 days down.....schools fun....taxing to the mind a little but still cope-able... anyways, its more pressurising to be in class with adults, mature adults...they are SUPER ON......oh my god.....im not saying tt i slack, im on the ball but they are SUPER DUPER ON and some at times SUPER EXTRA one.....hahaha....kiasuism is so evident especially in the auntie2 ones.......the younger ones you can see they are on the ball but they are not so kanchiong and kiasu like the auntie2....wah lau wei...sometimes they ask stupid questions cannot angkat sak.....but then again, cannot say so much abt them for all i know they could be scoring all their papers and assignments....for all i know they could be the top 10%...
school is packed but luckily the subjects are not that tough but they do have a level of difficulty i think partly cos i was out of school for quite some time.... but anyway, damn u im very glad i made the choice....my interest wasnt that superficial after all, its not all about the money after all....
sacrifices made.....sigh, have to discipline myself to achieve my goal.... once a week that was wat we agreed on.....its tough, cos i already miss her...but its ok, for the sake of my future......and maybe ours.......
to all who knows me, gimme your support yeah.....alright, gotta go.......
tumoro, later i mean
later, first day of school......woooohooo.....back to school....excited...
met my frens jus now....such a long time and things never change...they are still fun as ever...
met my nani.....love her lots...gonna miss her....felt like not letting her go just now....but hey, itll only be 5days before we meet again....love ya baybeh, lots.... gonna miss u....muahz.....gnite sayang....gnite ppl.....and ouh baybeats 2006... love me butch....yeah...c u music lovers down there yeah....
ok i cant sleep
i actually slept oredi but i forgot to pull the curtains close, mosquitoes start to attack my feet...ugh.....i gotta write this, it was wat happened just now...it was a weird feeling and it made me smile.....
i actually saw the person who ONCE runied my life and stole the ONCE love of my life, i used to hate him, beneath my smile i still remembered how i wanted to skin him alive.. but just now, when i saw his face, it was a total different thought & him pretending not to see me(i was very sure he saw me) with that "Oh-Oh!" kinda look made me smile even more....you guys must be asking why i smiled....i just realised its because of him that i found out that the one i used to love with all my life cheated on me, it was him tt made it possible for me to find out everything and ultimately if not for the break up, i guess i wouldnt have met or fallen in love with the so wonderful nani....i think i shuldve shook his hand and thank him.....hahahaha.....
i despise ppl like him but everything happens for a reason and for me, its a blessing in disguise.....thank god...
gnite peepz....
all time classic
ok last one before i start doing my stuffs....all time classic number by the all famous skatalites, an old school ska/reggae band...check it out
skatalites-guns of navarone
ive been busy
been very bz for the past few days thnks to the number of cock ups......on monday night, i was panicky busy calling ppl up to replace.....tuesday it was like an amazing race, me going all over sg jus to get the necessary documents, i was like an islandwide despatch rider......it was hot, i was sweating and my bike was heated up....speaking of my bike, i gotta get down n get tt cash card...brb.....back....where were we... ouh the amazing race....its more like a race to make my future happen....and its all up to me now....id like this opportunity to thank the following persons that make it happen..
(appearing in no particular order) shahreil, raihana, raimie, rashid,(the first four played the biggest role), my nani for roping in her wonderful auntie ita for help, zahari, adil, zakie & mankey- who really wanted to help but unable to...... i will not disappoint u guys....i promise...anyways its my future too...so believe in me yeah?...
everyone was wonderful to me....i now know that my frens actually care.....
i was pretty excited, i actually edited my time-table(cos they mix group 1 & group 2 together) yesterday night......i actually dig up my shoe boxes for stationary and stuffs that i might need....im so excited, anxious.......i just worry i might tire out easily and for that i already called up dizy to help me renew my elken membership so i can purchase some supplements which somehow made me last longer during the days when i was a cook......im not taking any chances this time round, i cant afford to fall ill and miss any classes.....for tt i have to keep myself fit, exercise and stuff...
as just now was nani's off day, i forgo the usual wednesday's soccer session as in the coming weeks, well 2years, i wont be seeing her as often....we sorta made an unofficial pact tt we'd meet only once a week....im glad she fully understand...so just now i went out with her, we watched superman....wee it was wonderful but longgg.....this sat will be our last day out before i start school..... sacrifices for the future....next week onwards, only once a week....
finally i have a clear path ahead....do well in school for 2years, work for 3years at imh and then consider a degree and an advance diploma for than delicious instant pay increments....at the end of all that, settle down and wait for promotions....and then upgrade somemore to go into either management or education.... i might be ambitious but ill try to make it happen....
gnite my frens....its bedtime....
im serious alright
im very serious bout nursing alright...its like i was awaken so early and so worried tt i might not able to get replacements for frens who wanted to help but apparently forgot bout it.....very absent minded i must say....but its me asking for help so i cant do much anyways.....at this point of time i would do anything to get a reliable surety. the next time round, i know who i would not look for help....who is reliable and who is not.....but i never did ask ppl for help before, other than advice or encouragements.. literal help, i guess never.....
watever it is, i really hope zack would make the sacrifice....im really hoping he'd do that...i really am.....cos he's earning the most and having him around solves my problem overall......
my present state, im fUCKstrated over the unforseen cock ups......im angry at the HRdepartments UNflexibility......they sure hell make my life so fucken difficult.... god bless them...
dead
ill be dead in afew hours time if my last hope, z couldnt make it.....its times like this tt u really find out who ur real frens out....well, frankly most of my frens are.. those who cant help me are genuine cos i know...and those who wouldnt, i can tell the minute they open their mouth......im glad i have many frens but at such a short notice its hard to say who are the real ones....and i cant judge them jus like tt...arrr shit im getting myself confused....
anyways now my only hope is z....z, whom my ex-gf criticise cos he was trying to earn as agents for our artwork...but tts wat agents do right?.....i was angry at tt time cos i was really close with z....i was a little ashamed of myself when i asked for his help...cos we drifted every since the vespa thingy died off.....i really hope z could help me this time...cos if he could, tts all i need....
to the two tt already helped me, thnks alot, i love u guys....
and nani, i love u lots...im sorry i hung up on u so suddenly....i appreciate ur efforts too...thnks....
hahahah
hahahah....probably everyone who hated me would be laughing their heads off when they read this.....wat i dont want to go wrong went wrong....so good luck sid finding a new job.....one pulled out, the other do not have a formal payslip....tts it, simple, my future just flushed down the toilet like tt, so simple....i wish i wouldnt have to depend on ppl....i just hate the system....so fucked up......gnite peepz, gonna sleep the nite away, escape from reality.....
....
one of my surety have to back out cos of work responsibilities. i understand fully and i wasnt angry at all, just panicky and worried but lucky a kind soul name mankey decide to help me.....thank god...i hope nothing will go wrong, cos this is wat i really wanted. this is my future...im destined for this....once tuesday is gone...ill be on my way oredi....wish me luck.....
we were walking at the overhead bridge when we bump into our colleague, tenteng.... both of us were dead shocked...real shocked....cos we never revealed our relationship at work to prevent any gossips, etc.....finally the truth is out....but we're a little lucky though cos tenteng no longer work at qt cos he'll be serving NS soon...and me, im going to pursue nursing.....nani will leave fp too....once she get a job tt is..
i spend once again, which i tot i wouldnt....but i spent on wat i need.... it was the air-con, the freezing cold air-con at marina and suntec tt made nani remind me tt itll be cold in lts and tutorial rooms.....yes i need a sweater to keep me warm....i do have one at home but its torn at the sleeves, my hanes hoody bought way back in '96....i very well deserve a new hoodie....wanted to get a volcom but i saw this neat, simple and nice classic reebok hoodie at suntec and whats more, the hoodies tts left at flash n splash are all so boring and not worth the price.....and the ultimate reason tt made me go for the reebok cos its way cheaper and its on sale...... although 79bucks is not really cheap but considering tt a normal plain hanes hoodie would cost bout say 50+ its well worth it.....
i cant wait to go to school....i cant wait to be happy recieving results, happy tt i did put in effort......unlike in my previous poly days, where 90% of the time i was either sleeping or wasting time socialising, playing, lazing with my fellow classmates. but being in a class full of mature students, i guess there'll be lots of competition, ive already spotted a couple of competition....those smart, specky ones, the ones that flip open the nursing dictionary the minute it was given to us... i know itll be hard to beat them or at least be alongside but ill try, itll be a challenge to myself, unknown to my fellow classmates....see, capricons forever ambitious but tis time round, i was given an opportunity and i shalll not waste it.
no boundaries
i guess as times goes...theres no boundaries anymore.....i mean can u imagine snoop dog doing a cover on metallica's song sad but true? and snoop dog rapping alongside the transplants.....and tim amstrong making a cameo appearance in cypress hill's music video. here's a video...the rest, u can easily find on youtube.
the transplats, featuring snoop dog.
horoscopes
id not believe in horoscopes but sometimes it provides inspiration, motivation and some form of encouragement and strength in a way.....heres wat i read just now and i really am motivated......
Capricon~
Sometimes the road you're traveling on gets shrouded in fog. If that happens, don't pull over and wait for the weather to clear. Time is not to be wasted -- keep going, slowly but surely, on the same path. If you let little things stop you from where you want to go (or what you want to accomplish), your confidence will take a beating. Soon enough, you'll see a clear sign that will put your fears to rest and your mind at ease. You were on the right path the whole time.
~~watever it is, it always depends on fate and if GOD permits....insya'Allah....
Latest
Latest update!....one more kind soul agreed to help....adil...thanks man... if remy is ok, everything is set....if not i guess i have to look for one more....everythins going well and i hope nobody backs out.
stressed fucked out.......
im stressed out....real stressed out....i went to alif in seek of laughter, well i did laugh but when the problem came knocking in my mind.....i start to think again... waiting for remy's reply gets me so anxious, worried and i can say its driving me nuts but im asking a favour and i should let him take his time, at least he is considering, he never turn me down flat. i cant actually believe tt my future depends on a friend, more like a coffee shop acquaintance, cos we were never really close, yes we talk, play soccer, laugh and discuss guy matters but we were never really close. me and shahrul too, im touched tt he's willing to help but he told me before saying yes, "i trust u and this is no joking matter, so i hope ure serious.." i really owe him one..... and the other one, which i shant reveal down here, i better not i guess....i didnt expect the answer to be yes......well, the reason was, they trusted me and i WILL NOT DISAPPOINT THEM. i will do my best and ill always remember tt they are the ones tt made my dreams possible. at my age, 26 i definitely am serious bout the path i took....i can stay at canadian pizza macam kuli for almost 2 years......i can stay at fairprice for a year until i got nursing, so wat makes anyone think that i cant last the bond? i dont have any more time in life, ive made the choice and i have to go on with it, i cant AFFORD to turn back, its my future... its not about whether the job will be easy or not, its about future, its about me planning for a family and retirement, etc......
i hope ill get the good news from remy....if not saturday, ill start job hunting.. here we go again back to square one.....im just like a bird being trapped in a cage, i can see the blue sky, the beautiful sun and probably rainbows and i have 2 powerful strong wings flapping furiously wanting to fly but im trapped under circumstances....
help release me....
remy pls say yes
my only hope now, remy and not only that, i have to make sure all 3 can turn up by next wednesday to sign the deed...i hope the 3 will make up 6k else as of wednesday ill be declared officially incomeless.....mebbe theres a blessing in disguise, i always believe in that....well watever it is, we'll see.....im down with diarrohea now... darn i tot i was ok yest....one after another...this month is jus not fer me....c u guys...
sigh...
my future suddenly look so bleak.....but ill keep on trying anyways, im a halfcaphero after all....gonna keep on fighting....if im not fated to be a nurse, i guess id have to plan a back up very quick cos in 4 days im officially unemployed.
old school....
thnks to the internet, i can watch videos of bands i listen to during my youth which i think wouldnt be possible without the net.
the exploited
slayer
sex pistols
shelter
the adicts
haha i think tts it for now....too many...having too much fun watchin... i never had mtv wen i was young.....
i never want to grow up
no tts not wat i really want to be(refering to my title) its jus tt i realised up till now, i still keep on dreaming...NO not that im not moving...i am...but i keep on dreaming for more and more...get wat i mean?....the dreams the vision to go further never stops......haiz....probably capricons are bunch of extremely ambitious ppl tts not given an opportunity.....a fellow capricon just became a lift technician cos apparently, his business partners decide to disband the group and go individual....
see....i guess we are the bunch tt have to go via the hard way, not the expressway like some blessed ppl....they want dat there they go...in a jiffy..... or maybe because, i only decide to be serious and less playful(i said less playful) in my earlier days which had a great effect on the most important link in life in sg, the O levels....if not i guess i wouldve gotten my first choice(business studies) OR if i wouldve mixed with more art ppl, i wouldve realised tt i actually love drawing.....its the beginning.
the beginning went wrong...so i have to ammend in the middle, which is so fucken hard.
cos now its a matter of money, im no longer mama's boy, i have to feed my own and contribute to tha familia as well....so theres some restriction....and me i chose the option to earn a handsome paycheck first before pursuing other less important avenues, but if this particular path cant be achievable either cos i cant get 2 guarantor earning more than 3k....i guess, ill have to plan a back up.... i always had one.... tts why i never remain jobless for long...(hmm 4-5mths is pretty long) but its not about being jobless, its about bringing back the dough....
anyways drop the present state....inside my 7 1/4 inch circumference head, i still wanna set up a business someday(probably wen i retire from nursing), u know open shop, tidy up and sit back probably sipping kopi n shisha while waiting for customers...i still somehow love trading...anyways tt was wat our Phropet encouraged us to do....and at the same time, i can draw, create, and do things i enjoy... wow looks like ive planned retirement liao...hahahha.....well actually i wished it would come earlier but now the reality and the possibility is only at retirement, where id have ample capital to start off with. probably my younger siblings or my children will be the luckiest ones ard....well, too early to speak....
i love it when i have so much in mind.....but id rather not speak to a living being cos theyd probably laugh off to wat i say or probably smile but have negative tots inside....
anyways until then, got other stuffs to do...enjoi life i must say....
2 clicks plow!
2 clicks in a night cant be wrong....i sure did tore my ligament abt a mth ago....well all i could do now is to strengthen my thigh and calf muscles and make sure i have enough calcium and gluscosamine intake daily.....i dun want another surgery, its not the way.....i guess it was my fault after all, i ballooned after the surgery in 2002, i literally became a couch potato, my only exercise was walking to the beach and then lay down my volcom towel and laze with my then hunny.....i ballooned to about 90kg over..
i only start loosing weight in 2005....where till now im at a stable below 80....the lowest was during the cny period, 74kg.....weight too is a factor and being overweight certainly doesnt help my knee one bit.....from today...i guess, id try to curb those carbo and those sweet things in the freezer called ice cream....
if i cant strengthen my knee, i cant do alot of things i love to do with my pals....
so, dude, u gotta work it out man......hehehe....anyone wanna be a volunteer trainer?
king of all powerslides
how i wish i could pull this off....probably off fort canning or kent ridge hill..
muthafucka
some goddamn matrep....muthafucka decide to steal my alum air vents. i tot the carpark at marriot was safe nuff.....but proven not today.....seems like calamity have strucked me recently.....but its not tt bad.....but id still curse tt mothafucka who almost hit me few days back.....and id still curse tt mothafucka who stole my ventplates which cost about 48bucks today.......anyways i already made a diy mesh from the materials i bought at homefix....cost me only bout 9bucks....and i didnt even use the super glue, so actually only 7 bucks for a mesh for the air vents....pretty proud with my work....
goddamn fucken matreps...curse u.....u ppl are all the same, only know how to steal from others....find ur own stuff....earn it...hasnt ur parents taught u anything? or are they as dumbfuck as u are?.....fucken moron....and GODDAMNIT THE SECURITY GUARDS AT MARRIOT HOTEL ARE OBVIOUSLY SLEEPING....THEY HAVE CAMERAS ALL OVER BUT THE MUTHAFUCKERS CAN HAVE TIME TO UNSCREW 4 SCREWS TO HAVE MY AIR VENTS.....WATS THE USE OF SECURITY... FUCKEN ASSWIPES....im fucken pissed tt a public carpark is infested with morons...
curses...to all whom stolen stuffs from me, any stuffs, u guys ruin part of my life....fuckers........
chill sid, chill.......
sayang.....i miss u.....
anyways, i shudve listened to my little voices....its proven twice....i did not listen...u know those little voices...aka instincts...todae i had mine, i didnt feel like going out and actually i tot of going bedok to gramma's place....haiya but i still believe in fate.....its fated....
sayang, i miss u.....next weekend go out ok? :) hope u get well soon....
buffalo souljah
sigh.....i jus had to have tt raspberry ripple last night and now my nose is blocked... n theres phlegm in my throat.....
anyways, nani's still sick.....dunno wats wrong with her....gonna accompany her to the doctor later....hope its nothing serious...
im still uncertain bout my future today.....no tts not wat i really mean...i know ill be a nurse and all.....but wat i meant is my ultimate future....how will i retire and stuffs.....will it be like wat i always wanted...or will it be otherwise...well, we cant tell and for all i know many of u would say tt i think too much......cant help it la...
before skool starts, i would want to enjoy myself but it seems like evryones pretty bz with work n stuff....id love a trip now...mebbe to thailand....or bali....the only person available is leo....but he's broke.....hmmm maybe its better that i save the money for future use than waste all tt i got on a trip....well, not actually waste.
im gonna get a bag! a northface bag at a steal.....he got it direct from a supplier so madi managed to sell me cheap.....cool...
my minds blank....i think ill have a session first....hmm peach or mint?
the substitute
i just realised....i am the substitute....heheh....
anyways....my baby been very tired recently...sigh, i guess she need another job...
i need a someone with a paycheck of 3k or more per month to help me, so that i can sign my bond with IMH......looks like i have to look for my auntie that i have long visited...if theres any volunteers...pls feel free to beep me...hehehe......my deadline is 7th july to get the deed signed....if not there goes my future.....
today i finally bought a pair of well needed spectacles.....cost me 100bucks...but hey i like it even though wat i really would want is a pair of oakleys or that mercedes titanium frame...anyway....ive been loving window shopping these days....alot of stuffs tempt me....but i resisted.....i couldve bought another pair of cool nikes or vans....tt cool lost industries t-shirt with 2 cool skulls on it.....a pair of thor or volcom berms.....more levis....a full face helmet tt ive always wanted..... tt crumpler or nike bag......a new watch.....and many-many more...
i think ill resist for 2years....and at the end of 2nd year and after my first paycheck, ill go for a shopping spree.....weeehoooo......then, ill have to start saving for my future....sigh.....
ive been holding back my class 2 & 3, i guess ill take it during the 2years, so looks like ill be very occupied....with school, driving lessons and a part time job...
meanwhile i wanna strengthen my thighs and calves to support my weak knees and im still contemplating whether to get that mcdavid hinged knee support which costs a bomb cos i really wanna skate again but i dare not risk without any protection.
got many more things to write bout, but hey i need to get some sleep...gnite....
halfcaphero
first things first.....baby, i cant sleep....hehehe...anyways, my legs killing me...
ouh, went to check on my acct, email, myspace, multiply, frenster.....it appears that my new nick halfcaphero have attracted a couple of vespa enthusiasts......some of them i know, some of them i dont.......
i dont think ill be joining the rescheduled soccer session tumoro......its my knee... aiyah....i dun want to be replaced by someone else on wednesday....oh, shahreil asked me to assist him in the shoot at peterpan's launch....cool huh....fun more like it...
sigh....i have to drag myself to work tumoro.....so the lazy.......wen is school gonna start.....
and oh, how i wish i have cable in my room, so tt i can subscribe to world cup...tt is why i want my own home.....tt'll have to be like in about 4-5years time....long wait.. but i hope itll be before the next world cup...
the smell of sweet peach jus makes me wanna set up my instruments...but hey its late....tumoro maybe yah?....gnite peepz....
sigh
was looking at the past comments on frenster and myspace......miss some of them frens......like they say frens come and go.....miss my vespa buddies especially... we were so close back then....until identity and growing up forces us to go our own seperate ways....we all need to pursue some things in life, tt each and everyone of us is after....wat it is, differ in indviduals....watever it is i pray all those past frens success.....to my present frens pls dun go into the past....and pardon my behaviour at times.....gracias for the frenship.....
slack mode 101
i decided not to go to work becos of stupid minor reasons.
1. RAINING
2. KNEE SPRAIN
3. I WOKE UP 20MINS LATE SO MEANS I GO BACK LATER.
4. SORE THROAT
hahaha dunno la but im just in a blardy switch off mode....but tt 4 reasons really formed up into one good reason for not to work on a SUNDAY.
aint no sunshine
ol skool kickin in....stolen from adil's frenster....
and oh...the lyrics for u guys to sing along...i know u want to...dun be shy..haha
BILL WITHERS
AIN'T NO SUNSHINE
Ain't no sunshine when she she's gone
it's not warm when she's away
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And she's always gone too long anytime she goes away.
Wonder this time where she's gone
wonder if she's gonna stay
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And this house just ain't no home anytime she goes away.
And I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
...
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
ain't no sunshine when she's gone
Only darkness every day
ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And this house just ain't no home anytime she goes away.
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
it's not warm when she's away
...
Anytime she goes away
anytime she goes away
anytime she goes away.
daily dose
this is ramones week....i found another ramones video and all time classic live.
blitzkrieg bop!....check it out.
hooked
arrgh.....ok, i admit im hooked on seesha...so i patronize those cafes in arab st with my gilly frens....now, ive even got my own set....a mini one...and man, peach is so peachy......im gonna restrict myself to 1 session a week....hmm i guess im gonna be smokin more when school starts....man it does relax me a little......damn u gilly boys.
ive come up with a system....since ive calculated tt with only 900bucks for allowance, minus my bike loans plus bills ttll gonna cost me abt 300. so im left with 600, im gonna save at least 200bucks which left me with 400, 100 for books and school expenses if not spent ill gv mom. another 300 for 10bucks a day expenses...pretty tight eh? well on top of tt, if i spent less than 10bucks, the rest will go to the piggy bank which will go to petrol or save up for road tax, maintenance, insurance, etc...seems like ive pretty much got a plan. AND if i can cope pretty well, im taking up part time job, so tt id have extra cash....probably for weekly movie trips with my baby....
gd nite every one
haiz...
my knees not good.....i cant run properly and i cant kick balls like last time....i hope it gets better...need to strengthen the thighs and the calve muscles to help it heal a little...its the weak acl.....sigh...
my baby's worn out.....i guess shes a little over worked....i hope u get better... rest well....love ya....to the core.
what a wonderful world
WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD
(George Weiss / Bob Thiele)
I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world
I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world
The colours of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shakin' hands, sayin' "How do you do?"
They're really saying "I love you"
I hear babies cryin', I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll ever know
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world
Yes, I think to myself, what a wonderful world
Oh yeah
P.s. click to watch joey ramone sing.
yoda said patience
may the force be with u....
patience is the key i guess....im too into my future thingy tt sometimes i worry too much. i cant wait to start school and see the outcome, see howd i do.....but i have to wait cos time appears to be moving slow.....so patience sid.
caramella, u have been left unattended and sunday i will wax u showroom shine and ride u ard.....i so want to put caramella in my own apt after i got my own tt is....but ttll have to wait at least in 3years time, if i do get married or sumthin, if not ill have to wait till im 35, where i can purchase my own home.......i feel old now but then again, the restrictions in sg made me so impatient to reach 35. i dunno why but i just feel tt.....if i happen to be not marrying and single at age 30, i hope i have an oversea offer and like susan(the lecturer) she have done nursing in UK, NewZealand and Hong Kong.....wow...its like a passport to travelling....cool...
speaking of travelling....i miss those days when i go in and out of singapore often. but i cant imagine how much i already spent cos i never really calculated but hey no regrets at all...it was fun and id love to do it again, except nowadays im a bit tight.
im still contemplating till today whether i wanna work till the end of the month of middle....i might need the money for books and stuffs for school....i feel like calling up mr chua, he's been asking black to ask me to call him....but paiseh la...
and wats more i dunno if i can cope working and studying....ill have to let 1semester pass first before i work part time, cos tis time round i dun wanna jeopardize my studies, i want to get good grades....not like the o level retakes, i only got 2Bs. i know i might be too ambitious for something tt i know nuts bout but hey my goal to get nothing less than a B....if possible all As.......ceh bah.....hehehe, we'll see..
c ya ard.....
sid thinks too much
fotos....can bring joy, memories, envious feeling, despair, anger and many more...
today some fotos bring me pressure.....fotos of my frens half-way to their fullfilments make me envious of them and wonder why im still nowhere......like my sayang told me, i think too much.....well, by nature im ambitious.....but did i not put in enough effort? in denial id say i did put 101%.........but then again, honestly, i did put in say 95%max....... but the thing is, i want to do what i like, not do jus becos i took a wrong path and im forced to follow that path, NO, i want to change tt path, tts why i took so long.....teaching....MOE u just missing a wonderful talent over here.......
i will teach, i hope so.....after 5years into nursing, ill get a degree and then ill try to get into teaching.....if theres no discrimination......hahaha
i worry, i think...too much.
i wanna do well in my 2 year of study.....but i worry i cannot discipline myself yet again to put in 101% effort.....but i guess im mature enough to do so....so sid, pinch ur penis and wake urself up....hehehe....NO i wont do that literally.......anyways, id want to do my best for me, not for anyone else... cmmon sid make those ppl's jaw drop for once.....
the wheather is so sweltering hot....but hey lets not complain....cos rain would deter me from going out....ouh, i pray during the 2years itll rain whenever i go out too often.....heheh....
alright more or less, ive laid my path before me, i only need to stroll thru it and probably climb some steep slopes along the way......but still i wanna live my childhood dreams....rockstar, racecar driver, or a superhero....fark ar sid go to sleep....heheh....nites everyone.......
iwantmyownapartment
i dunno wat to say......i just hate it when my uncle comes and talk bout his problems..
his problems is never ending.....financial....cos he wouldnt want to change.....and the more u shud shut the fuck up.....cos i need some peace at home and u speak like an apek so loud tt even me locked up in my room am irritated by ur stupid whinings.....and ure a coward, u only talk to ppl behind their back. damn!
so early?
why im online so early with this entry? 2 reasons....1.i was tired after floor waxing and i just went to bed early at abt 1245 last night, 2.i jus sense something was not right n i need to check out 'lostkeyz' 3.i need to send hweelan from hr my ns notification from mindef website....so theres actually three reasons...so wat... oh and why im not leaving for work yet? cos i jus dun wanna leave so early yet.....dun wanna recieve stocks and be the rest stupid servant while they claim they are busy stocking up their veges and fresh food.....ASS....like i dun have a department to take care like that......FUCKERS....anyways, today linda is on morning shift, so ill turn up anyways at 730am, she's nice to me, well to me theres only 1 bitch at work...and the mini bitch kaypo store keeper....only these two need to be sent to the firing squad.
when i read her entries, i felt guilty....guilty for making the remark "maybe ure just not trying hard enough".....ppl like shahreil n myself should know better at how hard it is to land ourselves a job even though we have a diploma and that remark shouldnt have left my mouth. about a year ago, me and some of my friends like is-topi, shahreil and many more are having a hard time looking for jobs...that was after the sucky job i got at harimau, who victimized unexperienced job seekers...
it was hard....we tried....i borrowed his classified section when i overslept and the papers were sold out....its like the only period of time, i religiously purchase straits time from the 7-11 across the street.....so, i know it is hard, do not despair....anyways ure still young, unlike me....i cant YET pursue what i really, really like to do.......well, nursing, i like too, thru the 2days attachment i enjoyed it.....but i would prefer teaching OR doodling...hehehe.....mebbe after 5 years of service, and after a degree, ill go into the education line....and become a lecturer at nyp, np or ite......finally, ppl can call me cikgu again...hehehe
to those out there looking for jobs...try and keep on trying, do not be bothered by wat ppl say, u know urself......some ppl only reach their success ladder a little later.....dont envy those who climb it sooner....for all you know they might be tripping when ure climbing urs......gee thats not too kind....hehehe....well, its reality.
insomniac
i cant sleep, issit cos of caffeine or i think too much?.....well i dunno but thousands of plans has flooded the membrane.....some are executable, some are not...i just wanna be on top....capricons...sigh....soooo ambitious...harharhar...
pissed off
some ppl jus pisses me off, shahreil pls be a buddy, help me look if u have the originals of reservoir dogs....u know whose bugging me.....shouldnt be so kind to unblock....sheeesh......
contagious
im down with flu since thurs.....up till now i still hasnt recovered fully....many are down with the flu....including my mom......my sayang too hasnt recovered fully.....
sigh....schools gonna start soon....im a nervous wreck....but i wanna make mom proud.. i want ppl to cheer me on stage recieving the diploma cos i get good grades and not like few years back the screamed my name and cheered on cos i had many frens....i want to be cheered for a reason...... tts not the only reason to get good grades...another reason is to secure a place for the specialist advance dip course after serving the bond. this specialist course is only available if the hospital decide to sponsor me and to make that possible, i have to prove myself worthy. the advance dip. means alot to me cos itll be my stepping stone to earning 200bucks more and my stepping stone to get promoted to senior staff nurse......then probably after some experience, id get the degree and become an educator...probably......i love it when i have plans.....:) keeps me going alright....
the flu...
the flu bug has struck my sayang....lucky nuff todays her off day...i hope she have a good rest and be well for work tumoro......
after a long rest of non physical activity, i weighed myself, phew im still within the below 80 barrier.....anyways, jus now, soccer...short session and me myself wasnt feeling too well...blocked nose....and weak....oh weak knees too...harharhar....but hey it was fun.....after such a long break.
i bought gluscosamine tablets just now in hope tt it helps repair or at least strengten a little my knee, so tt i can play soccer and skate again.....ive read about gluscosamine in mags and its supposed to help and it works....i hope it does on me. no harm trying.
tumoro is my work preparation thingy with wda....my next step to becoming a full pledged nurse....i dunno la but i think im fated to be a nurse....in sec school i wanted to be in one of the uniform groups...but i was rejected in those tt i want to join....n i got in st john's....heheh....then in army, i was posted to a medic school to be trained to become a paramedic...and now after countless attempts of finding a perfect career, i ended up with nursing.....i guess its fate....hehehe....i hope its gonna be a job i love...really love....
im gonna rejoin elken for the sake of health...i want to purchase those supplements again....cos i know the difference when i was regularly consuming it...and at the same time i hope can give me an income while im surviving on measely 900bucks for 2 years.
wall climbing anyone? im keen to try....i hope my baby dun chicken out hehehe...
until the next entry evryone....gnite....to my baby, hope u get well a 100%
evryone knows now
everyone at work knows now tt ill be resigning pretty soon.....i was afraid tt sng would know but in the end i confessed when he asked why i want to take half day leave. i said medical check...he asked for job is it? i said yeah....and so on.... but its lucky he's ok with it as he too tells me, if theres better opportunity elsewhere. why not...phew wat a relief....
gotta get ready to go for medical check up and later visit my grampa...adios
i guess my mom now knows i have a gf....cos she saw the clothes nani gave my sis...
replay, testing 1,2,3
i can never get tired of saying this to her..."...aku sayang kau...." :)
gnite peepz.....tumoro is a long day, werk to imh then finally meet my baby.....:)
here we go.....
sigh.....work later....after discovering tt i got in, work is even much more a drag..i think ill just stop working middle of the month and start looking for a part-time job.
i woke up jus, jus only and i was day-dreaming....if i had my own house, caramella would be in the spare room and i want to redo her until shes showroom condition... cool huh.....then i feel like i wanted a harley.....mebbe ill look for zack wen i have the money liao..hehehe.......but hey, its just dreaming, so babey dun freak out yet... hehehe.....im like counting chicks before they hatch but hey i cant help it, everyones got dreams right?....hmm a 34inch teevee in the living room, cos frankly presently, i only get to watch crappy sg channels in my room on an old school tube......hmm playstation 3!....hahaha....air-conditioned bedroom.....i wanna paint murals in the spare room.....ouh oh the arcade machine or a pin ball machine, ive always wanted that!
and a gum ball machine....a super powerful pc with super huge lcd screen.....full sound system for me to blast my music...and oh! a turntable would be nice.....hmmm...i want those stainless steel fridge and washer.....hehehe....oh yes the recliner at ikea......
hahahha.......sid, sid.....forever dreamin...but hey my dreams do come true....:P
the revolvah
i come to a point where i cant think of a title for my entry...so here it is the revolvah(pronounced zach de la rocha style) for the not working mind......*pow!*
back as a civilian.....god damn it feels good.....but then my hair is so fucken short i might be mistaken for a recruit but anyways it feels light except it doesnt look good and my nani says i look like a fishball now....:(...hehehehe
this reservist reminded me of the last one, no, not about the training but about the incident it was the time someone i trusted most actually lied and cheated me....it was the period of time whereby i was so worried and sad.....but hey tt is long gone and ive long dusted it away and dispose off it for good......
u know wat it feels good to know tt someone misses u too.....at least i know im not alone....i guess god has given me a replacement for my countless heartaches in the past.
-------------------------------------------------
i have so many ppl tt is around me tt makes my life alot more pleasant....thanks sayang....and thanks guys.....i dunno how id deal with life if i were so alone like somewhere at the end of 2004.
yesterday wendy from hr called up......
"hello, can i speak with mohammed siddiq?"
"yes, speaking...."
"i'm wendy from imh, id like to inform u tt u have been accepted into nyp for the 2 year accelerated diploma course"
(silently)"YES! YES AH!"
but then again, i have to go thru the medical check up before i can declare myself a a nurse at imh....heheheh......im in for this job for 50%interest + 50%stability and prospects. its all about the future......
my goals to achieve, is to save enough for the glorious day and get my own home and of course start a family.....im already turning 27....and after im finally a staff nurse id be turning 29. i know its late but like abdulrani my reservist mate told me, its never too late, he was married after NS, and hes now 28 and only completed his 3 year diploma last year, it was for the sake of his future he says....somehow, the conversation with him, motivated me and tells me ive made the right choice.
well, i want to own a home of my own and probably an automobile of my choice one day.
ive got a plan lay before me, and of course as usual a back up plan...
gotta clear up my room now, i wanna meet my baby later....love her....thnks sayang for being there for me 24/7, ive never had someone who loves me as much as u do.
she is the one.....
we're back to normal....i love her soooo much....ive never loved anyone this much before....ill miss u this week im away....love u lots.....
im sorry
i was cranky the other day, just a little, so when tt taxi refused to give way, i honked the horn so long tt she pulled away my hand thus causing the bike to wobble, which instantly made me screamed at her.....i didnt mean to scream at her, i was angry at the taxi tts all.....and mebbe too earlier i scolded her for changing out meeting place as i was already at the interchange only to read her sms tt she is now at the mrt station.....i was fine later on, but i sense tt theres something wrong when she was like keeping her distance from me....and she wasnt smiling for a very long time.....i was frustated actually when she refuses to tell me wats wrong and i already apologised tt i screamed at her, it wasnt intentional.....i hope she forgives me....
i dun feel like doing anything
sorri peepz dun feel like doing anything....today, tumoro n god knows when....jus wanna lie in bed and stare at the ceiling.....gnite peepz....i think my 1 week reservist will help me a little....i think i wanna tender my resignation at fp very soon...but gotta be after 3rd, wen i get my pay.
fun to me is....
i was telling my baby...fun to me is....skateboarding, scootering and anything tt i enjoy doing without pressure.....:)....
one month....
on the 10th day of may, we went out and boy, the dinner at ramen ten was wonderful... sure nuff its super spicy...both of us, eyes watery and all...but hey i was satisfied and guess wat, exactly one month ago was the time wen we first held hands, wen we first realized we did really fall for each other, wen we put aside differences and surrender our egos.....wen we open up......time flies eh?.... love ya....
gotta sleep now, reservist training tumoro...medic!...heheh...sian....
bad + good day
hmm shud i start with the good or the bad....i think ill go in the order of its occurence.....
my damn area manager tt katek tt thinks he knows it all reprimanded my staff n me for our unsatisfactory performance....firstly i feel its not fair, cos 1, short of manpower, 2. he keep coming at the times wen we finished selling most of our stocks for instance monday morning, as u know, weekends, alot of customers thus more stocks sold out......i do not want to elaborate as it only increases my blood pressure doing so. to cut it short, hes a doesnt know wats really happening so stop blabbering...and mr sng, ur way of managing is kunoh...tts not the way to cut cost....u cut down manpower doesnt mean u get greater GP. less manpower means less job done thus means store not 100% ready for shoppers, thus.....u know the chain reaction.....
ok lets go on to the good things....so my blood pressure would go down a little...
the smile on her face just make everything bad disappear....and boy was i relieved plus delighted to see tt smile on her face......to hear her giggles and laugthers just put a wide smile upon my face.....before we knew it, we were back to normal, we knew we loved each other tt much......i love u my dear and i hope we never part....
.....
work, was okay....as i kept in mind tt ill be leaving pretty soon but sometimes frankly, i do enjoy retail line.
my dear today had a bad day at work, i didnt do much to cheer her up, instead i made her felt guilty for things she had not actually done but she thought she did. no, u never controlled me, i was just being fair to u. i didnt made plans with my frens, i told u we'd go out today since i was out with my frens yesterday, tt was the simple explanation why i turned my frens down. i gave up trying to convince u to join in cos i now already u'd never change ur mind. the karaoke session with my bros were never planned, it just so happen, we all were eager to check out the new gilly model, tts all....and they had to bump into me....i hope both my frens and my dear understands with the decision i made.....if they dont, i guess they are not what they are after all.
i felt lousy, wen i saw tt teary eye, i knew something was wrong, i was too persistent and insensitive but then, i was dumb enough not to know wat to say or to do to calm or ease her....all i could do was smile but i couldnt find the words or things to say cos she just wouldnt open up....id rather she open up, be frank with me tt shes not ok then keep it inside and feel angry, hurt or sad on her own. now, im the guilty one not her....i guess this is the first day tt everything didnt work out, the first day after one month being together.....i guess today was never meant for us to go out.....firstly, the irritating customers at work just spoils her mood...2ndly, joane, her colleague wanted to find out whom her bf was, which is me, their supervisor......3rdly, i bump into my fren and my pestering her to join in the fun just spoils her mood further and made her felt lousy........4thly the lightings, the false alarm of a heavy downpour forces me to send her home and just stops me from ending the day with her & myself smiling.......i hate today.....if i knew today was going to turn up this bad, i would just rot at home this fateful beautiful sunday, i was awaken at this hour cos i just cant have a sound sleep....to sum it all up, i was never angry at her, i was only upset and disappointed, tts all. i just wanted her to join in the fun i usually have with my frens, the ppl i turn to when i had no one else all this while. and im never the kind of guy tt would leave u along the way to join my frens, that is just not right, furthermore, i made plans with u first and in the first place, there wasnt any plans with my frens...
at times like this, i feel im not the one for her. i hope if she feels im not it along the way be frank with me and just dump me. but if she can accept our differences, then ill be very happy.
bored
the chalet was utter boredom....shouldnt have went but fyn is our fren and being there at least put a wider smile upon her face.today i think i ate too much, im bloated...heh
speaking of which, i hope my other half wouldnt be so worried about her getting out of shape....i think she looks fine and frankly theres nothing wrong with her, i felt guilty though jokingly pointing out some of her flaws...i felt so guilty tt i feel theres a need to apologise....stop worrying my dear, i was only joking la....can?..
anyways, im tired....need to work tomorow....gnite....
blank
so caramella is going to stay with me for good.....i have plans....like is-shry told me, keep ur vespa in ur flat.....but not now la, now i havent got my own...maybe in 3years time eh.....lay-up caramella and keep her for good...cool....i want a flat in bukit batok also...cos i dun wanna be apart from my frens and of course my mom.....
hmmm...ive not been well lately....i gues its jus cos i rest less lately.......
im worrying about my future alot...i jus want to be comfortable later in life.
im not under peer pressure anymore, i do wat i want nowadays......i think im growing up.
i still do not know when i will skate again.......and i miss kicking balls so much...
aiyah.....
theres nothing wrong with laughing....in fact its a good way to ease oneself.... so dont worry, i guess ure just pretty happy yeah?.....
at first i worry bout writing this down...but hey, id like to jot dot wat comes to mind........im having second tots bout letting caramella go.....ok if its below my expectation....ill not let it go...id hold on to it.....i still love it...perhaps id lay it off for awhile uh?.....ill find part time to make up.....really.....
haiz....its just months away till we are really busy with each others stuffs....me, going back to school, pursuing my future and u on ur first real job..... but hey itll be only 2 years yeah?...so i guess we'll have to bear with it....then after that itll be back to normal....
reservist coming soon....sigh....
my area manager is keeping his eyes on me....he thinks i did not perform....well, fuck him....i did my job tts all i know....i tried....if he thinks its so simple, well take my place dumbfuck......ill just bear with it till i start school...... i do love retailing but the system is just fucked up....major cock up....
gotta go dudes....surfing for means and ways to kickstart my ebay 'business' again..
sigh....
im a happy man....my dear, laugh a little lesser, nanti tido ngigau...hehehe....
kla frens gnite, today is another day, ill sleep smiling.....love u my dear....
yeah!
my darlin will be thrilled to hear this....ill be a nurse....imh has decided to take me in....'iamvicious' is officially now a registered nurse for the institute of mental health.....
splitting headache
i dunno why but my head hurts a little right now....
my sayang will be having her interview tumoro for the TL position with FP, i know she'll get it....gd luck yeah.....
chris called me up, i hope this time round chris can help me close a deal....then my savings will kickstart instantly....well, its already started....cos of the progress package.....put aside 500 liao....the rest i have to settle my 'debts' and bills....
many ppl wouldnt understand....but hey i think im making the right choice......i should be....
tumoro, i can forsee itll be a long day at work...i can see that ill dread to go back.. but hey, i gotta make myself useful...and i shall not disappoint the ppl ard me....i guess my boss is starting to trust me a little...
i gotta sleep, im going to the bank tomoro with shahreil...to find out more bout saving plans....i hope it doesnt rain in the afternoon, cos i got loads of things to do tumoro, tt includes.. the bank, bike shop for servicing....
gnite, peepz....she jus msged me, she lost her anklet....aiyah nvm la, i buy u another one kay?....gnite all....
gd luck sayang
hahaha sajak ar tu laki bini supervisor kat ntuc fp......anyways gd luck for ur interview next tuesday........i know its hard to get a job nowadays....but patience and keep on trying......anyways im positive ull get it....
if i love someone, no matter how stressed up, how busy, how tired, ill always make time for tt someone....id rather she confide in me than keep it to herself....at least i know wats going on...
im more relaxed nowadays at work....theres load of things to be done...but i take it as it comes...i get less stressed out nowadays...and im feeling great....why ar?...hehehe.
going to the chalet organized by fellow tags...my other brothers.....the rain made me ouh so lazy....but ill go anyway, i promised ill come, so i will....cya guys....
try this harmless test
Test.. have fun! Don't cheat!! If you are honest, this tells the truth. It's pretty good. Write your answers on a piece of paper, and NO cheating!!
1.Which is your favorite color out of: red, black, blue, green, or yellow?
2. Your first initial?
3. Your month of birth?
4. Which color do you like more, black or white?
5. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.
6. Your favorite number?
7. Do you like Flying or Driving more?
8. Do you like a lake or the ocean more?
the answers:
1.If you choose: Red - You are alert and your life is full of love. Black - You are conservative and aggressive. Green - Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back. Blue- You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love. Yellow - You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.
2. If your initial is: A-K You have a lot of love and friendships in your life. L-R You try to enjoy your life to the m aximum &your love life is soon to blossom. S-Z You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.
3. If you were born in: Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected. April-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever. July-Sep: You will have a great year and will experience a major life-changing experience for the good. Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.
4. If you chose: Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the e best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change. White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.
5. This person is your best friend.
6. This is how many close friends you have in your lifetime.
7.If you chose: Flying: You like adventure. Driving: You are a laid back person.
8.If you chose: Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your lover and are very reserved. Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people..
ive done it and guess wat, shahreil is my best friend....hehehe.... n i have 6 close frens, so few....hahah...
why not earlier...
ok, so i didnt go to bed....hehehe....cos i just had to find out if u wrote something... actually sayang, i was wondering about it too....why didnt i meet u earlier? must i meet all the rotten ones before i meet u?, must i go thru umpteen heartbreaks and aches before i meet u?......but i wouldnt complain cos finally i met someone tt is really worth meeting, cos finally all the unhappiness is gone....
well, ur mom is right, we are indeed inseperable....i love u sayang....gnite....
Ke mana saja
Kau berlari bersembunyi..
Ku tahu cintamu
Padaku teguh..
Takku peduli cara
Dan tingkah lakumu
Kerna ku takkan pergi
Jauh dari sisimu
Dengarlah kasih
Kan kuserahkan segala kepadamu
Kan kuserahkan segala kepadamu
Kan kubina sebuah singgahsana
Untukmu berlindung
Dari hujan basah
Pabila malam
Ku termimpikan wajahmu
Takkan jiwa ragaku
Berakhir nikmatnya
Dengarlah kasih
Kan kuserahkan segala kepadamu
Kan kuserahkan segala kepadamu
Senyuman Ragamu ~ Gerhana Ska Cinta
sigh....
its like ive known her forever....its like we've been together for so long....and funny we have alot more in common than i expected....i think its call fate....
im so relaxed with her.....its like as if im going thru some kind theraphy whenever im with her, im so calm, although like she said, i think too much but still, i think calmly.......after all, i did ask her to be my drug...
im not a paranoid android wen im with her...no worries....more like just plans.... and plans...and plans....we think alike.....i think that goes with the saying great minds think alike....hahahaha....
i cant wait to be hearing from IMH......i think tt job is my future....i think id love the job....it helps me in away...it helps me to keep me awake and it tells myself not to think too much or ill be like them....hahaha....
i saw the group of harleys roar past me last night, its like purposely making me drool....i dunno why...but i still think harley is cool....provided its not those pakcik2 wanna be who rides it.....hahaha....the image of the harley is supposed to be associated with big burly individuals or those hardcore, toughie image not some fat, beer bellied, flabby pakcik2...just ruin the bikes reputation....hahaha......sorry no offense but tts what i feel.....
my dear, sorry i fell asleep last night...i was tired i guess....and sleepy...i slept soundly, no dreams.....hehehe...love ya lots....
haiya....
watever la eh....i know wat im not....
i write watever comes to mind good or bad....so if u dun like it, dun read, simple. i dun compose, i just write wat comes to mind.....a criminal will stay a criminal in ur mind only.
24th april is mom's bdae
happy bdae my dearest mom, hope ud like the watch i bought u......
i am cleaning my room now until i start sneezing away at the dust around me, so here i am on my computer as bob marley is wailing on my speakers......
i realised that i have an expensive taste for hobby...i tend to like stuffs that are expensive, like motorcycles, photography, games and gadgets......but my paycheck doesnt allow me to have some of those.....in fact i have to give up some cos i need to start saving....hopefully, wen im stable and all and probably wen my paycheck reach at least 2k, id love to own a car but due to its impracticality, i guess a harley would be fine, those fat ass rude choppers....but then again, a ktm540 supermoto would be nice too...
hmmm....i guess, im outgrowing small bikes....but still id go for unconventional motorcycles...hmmm.....dreaming is nice....can feel those engines vibrating, the roar of those phat engines....grrr....hehehe
dreaming is nice but making a dream a reality is even better.....and god knows im on my way to do that, although i might be slower from some ppl....i still feel shahreil is the luckiest of the lot....a good job(he's even making money off freelance assignments) and good soon to be wife....sigh...wat else can u ask for....
i feel a need to pick up a skill that might be useful and might bring in some dough too...ive always wanted to pick up photography..hmm mebbe wen i have a little bit of spare cash....mebbe....but meanwhile, i guess ill pick up cost-less skills... i saw this "threadless-tees" they have all sorts of t-shirts tt sells, seriously sells and the designs are what i could come up with....but then again, theres too much competition in this line in sg....anyways ill do wat i like, id start off with one for TAGS(twist and go scooters) my new few months old scooter club....ill come up with something, silk-screen or hand paint my own tee n wear it one day and see wat they says....:)....
gotta bet back to cleaning up before my butt get glued to the stool that shahreil bought me for my bdae......
i need to save up...
i actually pull out from the leo vince exhaust system reservation bcos i think i dun really NEED it.....and i NEED to save up......for something else......for myself...my future...sorri guys for troubling u all....i hope its not much of a problem to strike off my name from the reservation list......
i gotta start to be more disciplined.....have to budget myself and probably have to start bringing food from home to work.......and mebbe less movies....mebbe just once a week....:)....
i think somehow u woke me up yest thru our conversation.....love ya...true nuff, im weak with temptations and i tend to spend when i have the money......i guess im going to start another bank account, this time round, no atm cards even if i have, id let mom keep it....any suggestions for which bank i should save in?....
alright, gotta get ready for work....tts all folks...
saturdae....
nenek, sorry sidek lupa la....nasib baik cik timah sms...hehe....my grandma is going off next week, to mecca.....so they sorta held a doa selamat for her and my two uncles.....my stepmom came from indo just to attend it but she have to go back tommorow and wulan my sister didnt come cos she started work oredi....i faced some unfamiliar faces and of course my aunts n uncles n cousins whom i see only once a year....its good to get together with the family....my nenek told me my dad is better now, he's starting to send money for my 2 younger siblings......before i left, nenek hugged me, can feel tt somehow im still like macam her fav. grandchild...hehehe
ouh my uncle were trying to tell me not to switch to nursing cause ill waste my dip in mech eng.....but hey, ill go back to eng if i really didnt get into nursing...my aim is to be a lecturer one day.....if i can discipline myself to get good grades and hopefully get sponsored for a degree...and so on...
i think my bike needs servicing and change of brake pads and probably adjustments to the shocks...n i need to go to viacom on monday....speaking of which monday is mom's birthday.....gonna suprise her...
went out with my baby jus now, she's fluish...but we really enjoyed the movie i must say...and i just found out, we like the same drink, guess wat, teh halia...mine i prefer teh o halia....hehe cool...and guess wat, she likes maggie goreng too... coolness....oh nurse yani saw us jus now.....but she was shy to approach us....so she msged me just now....hehe....
now ive got to refrain from overspending...i must start saving....little by little pon jadilah...heheh......skit2 lama2 jadi bukit kan...
ouh i hope ud get well soon dear....monday we go out kay?...gnite dear...swt dreams...
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