stressed fucked out.......

im stressed out....real stressed out....i went to alif in seek of laughter, well i did laugh but when the problem came knocking in my mind.....i start to think again... waiting for remy's reply gets me so anxious, worried and i can say its driving me nuts but im asking a favour and i should let him take his time, at least he is considering, he never turn me down flat. i cant actually believe tt my future depends on a friend, more like a coffee shop acquaintance, cos we were never really close, yes we talk, play soccer, laugh and discuss guy matters but we were never really close. me and shahrul too, im touched tt he's willing to help but he told me before saying yes, "i trust u and this is no joking matter, so i hope ure serious.." i really owe him one..... and the other one, which i shant reveal down here, i better not i guess....i didnt expect the answer to be yes......well, the reason was, they trusted me and i WILL NOT DISAPPOINT THEM. i will do my best and ill always remember tt they are the ones tt made my dreams possible. at my age, 26 i definitely am serious bout the path i took....i can stay at canadian pizza macam kuli for almost 2 years......i can stay at fairprice for a year until i got nursing, so wat makes anyone think that i cant last the bond? i dont have any more time in life, ive made the choice and i have to go on with it, i cant AFFORD to turn back, its my future... its not about whether the job will be easy or not, its about future, its about me planning for a family and retirement, etc......

i hope ill get the good news from remy....if not saturday, ill start job hunting.. here we go again back to square one.....im just like a bird being trapped in a cage, i can see the blue sky, the beautiful sun and probably rainbows and i have 2 powerful strong wings flapping furiously wanting to fly but im trapped under circumstances....

help release me....