.....

work, was okay....as i kept in mind tt ill be leaving pretty soon but sometimes frankly, i do enjoy retail line.

my dear today had a bad day at work, i didnt do much to cheer her up, instead i made her felt guilty for things she had not actually done but she thought she did. no, u never controlled me, i was just being fair to u. i didnt made plans with my frens, i told u we'd go out today since i was out with my frens yesterday, tt was the simple explanation why i turned my frens down. i gave up trying to convince u to join in cos i now already u'd never change ur mind. the karaoke session with my bros were never planned, it just so happen, we all were eager to check out the new gilly model, tts all....and they had to bump into me....i hope both my frens and my dear understands with the decision i made.....if they dont, i guess they are not what they are after all.

i felt lousy, wen i saw tt teary eye, i knew something was wrong, i was too persistent and insensitive but then, i was dumb enough not to know wat to say or to do to calm or ease her....all i could do was smile but i couldnt find the words or things to say cos she just wouldnt open up....id rather she open up, be frank with me tt shes not ok then keep it inside and feel angry, hurt or sad on her own. now, im the guilty one not her....i guess this is the first day tt everything didnt work out, the first day after one month being together.....i guess today was never meant for us to go out.....firstly, the irritating customers at work just spoils her mood...2ndly, joane, her colleague wanted to find out whom her bf was, which is me, their supervisor......3rdly, i bump into my fren and my pestering her to join in the fun just spoils her mood further and made her felt lousy........4thly the lightings, the false alarm of a heavy downpour forces me to send her home and just stops me from ending the day with her & myself smiling.......i hate today.....if i knew today was going to turn up this bad, i would just rot at home this fateful beautiful sunday, i was awaken at this hour cos i just cant have a sound sleep....to sum it all up, i was never angry at her, i was only upset and disappointed, tts all. i just wanted her to join in the fun i usually have with my frens, the ppl i turn to when i had no one else all this while. and im never the kind of guy tt would leave u along the way to join my frens, that is just not right, furthermore, i made plans with u first and in the first place, there wasnt any plans with my frens...

at times like this, i feel im not the one for her. i hope if she feels im not it along the way be frank with me and just dump me. but if she can accept our differences, then ill be very happy.