i never want to grow up

no tts not wat i really want to be(refering to my title) its jus tt i realised up till now, i still keep on dreaming...NO not that im not moving...i am...but i keep on dreaming for more and more...get wat i mean?....the dreams the vision to go further never stops......haiz....probably capricons are bunch of extremely ambitious ppl tts not given an opportunity.....a fellow capricon just became a lift technician cos apparently, his business partners decide to disband the group and go individual....

see....i guess we are the bunch tt have to go via the hard way, not the expressway like some blessed ppl....they want dat there they go...in a jiffy..... or maybe because, i only decide to be serious and less playful(i said less playful) in my earlier days which had a great effect on the most important link in life in sg, the O levels....if not i guess i wouldve gotten my first choice(business studies) OR if i wouldve mixed with more art ppl, i wouldve realised tt i actually love drawing.....its the beginning.
the beginning went wrong...so i have to ammend in the middle, which is so fucken hard.
cos now its a matter of money, im no longer mama's boy, i have to feed my own and contribute to tha familia as well....so theres some restriction....and me i chose the option to earn a handsome paycheck first before pursuing other less important avenues, but if this particular path cant be achievable either cos i cant get 2 guarantor earning more than 3k....i guess, ill have to plan a back up.... i always had one.... tts why i never remain jobless for long...(hmm 4-5mths is pretty long) but its not about being jobless, its about bringing back the dough....

anyways drop the present state....inside my 7 1/4 inch circumference head, i still wanna set up a business someday(probably wen i retire from nursing), u know open shop, tidy up and sit back probably sipping kopi n shisha while waiting for customers...i still somehow love trading...anyways tt was wat our Phropet encouraged us to do....and at the same time, i can draw, create, and do things i enjoy... wow looks like ive planned retirement liao...hahahha.....well actually i wished it would come earlier but now the reality and the possibility is only at retirement, where id have ample capital to start off with. probably my younger siblings or my children will be the luckiest ones ard....well, too early to speak....

i love it when i have so much in mind.....but id rather not speak to a living being cos theyd probably laugh off to wat i say or probably smile but have negative tots inside....

anyways until then, got other stuffs to do...enjoi life i must say....

2 clicks plow!

2 clicks in a night cant be wrong....i sure did tore my ligament abt a mth ago....well all i could do now is to strengthen my thigh and calf muscles and make sure i have enough calcium and gluscosamine intake daily.....i dun want another surgery, its not the way.....i guess it was my fault after all, i ballooned after the surgery in 2002, i literally became a couch potato, my only exercise was walking to the beach and then lay down my volcom towel and laze with my then hunny.....i ballooned to about 90kg over..
i only start loosing weight in 2005....where till now im at a stable below 80....the lowest was during the cny period, 74kg.....weight too is a factor and being overweight certainly doesnt help my knee one bit.....from today...i guess, id try to curb those carbo and those sweet things in the freezer called ice cream....

if i cant strengthen my knee, i cant do alot of things i love to do with my pals....
so, dude, u gotta work it out man......hehehe....anyone wanna be a volunteer trainer?

king of all powerslides

how i wish i could pull this off....probably off fort canning or kent ridge hill..

muthafucka

some goddamn matrep....muthafucka decide to steal my alum air vents. i tot the carpark at marriot was safe nuff.....but proven not today.....seems like calamity have strucked me recently.....but its not tt bad.....but id still curse tt mothafucka who almost hit me few days back.....and id still curse tt mothafucka who stole my ventplates which cost about 48bucks today.......anyways i already made a diy mesh from the materials i bought at homefix....cost me only bout 9bucks....and i didnt even use the super glue, so actually only 7 bucks for a mesh for the air vents....pretty proud with my work....
goddamn fucken matreps...curse u.....u ppl are all the same, only know how to steal from others....find ur own stuff....earn it...hasnt ur parents taught u anything? or are they as dumbfuck as u are?.....fucken moron....and GODDAMNIT THE SECURITY GUARDS AT MARRIOT HOTEL ARE OBVIOUSLY SLEEPING....THEY HAVE CAMERAS ALL OVER BUT THE MUTHAFUCKERS CAN HAVE TIME TO UNSCREW 4 SCREWS TO HAVE MY AIR VENTS.....WATS THE USE OF SECURITY... FUCKEN ASSWIPES....im fucken pissed tt a public carpark is infested with morons...
curses...to all whom stolen stuffs from me, any stuffs, u guys ruin part of my life....fuckers........

chill sid, chill.......

sayang.....i miss u.....

anyways, i shudve listened to my little voices....its proven twice....i did not listen...u know those little voices...aka instincts...todae i had mine, i didnt feel like going out and actually i tot of going bedok to gramma's place....haiya but i still believe in fate.....its fated....

sayang, i miss u.....next weekend go out ok? :) hope u get well soon....

i miss u

i miss u nani...

buffalo souljah

sigh.....i jus had to have tt raspberry ripple last night and now my nose is blocked... n theres phlegm in my throat.....

anyways, nani's still sick.....dunno wats wrong with her....gonna accompany her to the doctor later....hope its nothing serious...

im still uncertain bout my future today.....no tts not wat i really mean...i know ill be a nurse and all.....but wat i meant is my ultimate future....how will i retire and stuffs.....will it be like wat i always wanted...or will it be otherwise...well, we cant tell and for all i know many of u would say tt i think too much......cant help it la...

before skool starts, i would want to enjoy myself but it seems like evryones pretty bz with work n stuff....id love a trip now...mebbe to thailand....or bali....the only person available is leo....but he's broke.....hmmm maybe its better that i save the money for future use than waste all tt i got on a trip....well, not actually waste.

im gonna get a bag! a northface bag at a steal.....he got it direct from a supplier so madi managed to sell me cheap.....cool...

my minds blank....i think ill have a session first....hmm peach or mint?

the substitute

i just realised....i am the substitute....heheh....

anyways....my baby been very tired recently...sigh, i guess she need another job...

i need a someone with a paycheck of 3k or more per month to help me, so that i can sign my bond with IMH......looks like i have to look for my auntie that i have long visited...if theres any volunteers...pls feel free to beep me...hehehe......my deadline is 7th july to get the deed signed....if not there goes my future.....

today i finally bought a pair of well needed spectacles.....cost me 100bucks...but hey i like it even though wat i really would want is a pair of oakleys or that mercedes titanium frame...anyway....ive been loving window shopping these days....alot of stuffs tempt me....but i resisted.....i couldve bought another pair of cool nikes or vans....tt cool lost industries t-shirt with 2 cool skulls on it.....a pair of thor or volcom berms.....more levis....a full face helmet tt ive always wanted..... tt crumpler or nike bag......a new watch.....and many-many more...
i think ill resist for 2years....and at the end of 2nd year and after my first paycheck, ill go for a shopping spree.....weeehoooo......then, ill have to start saving for my future....sigh.....

ive been holding back my class 2 & 3, i guess ill take it during the 2years, so looks like ill be very occupied....with school, driving lessons and a part time job...

meanwhile i wanna strengthen my thighs and calves to support my weak knees and im still contemplating whether to get that mcdavid hinged knee support which costs a bomb cos i really wanna skate again but i dare not risk without any protection.

got many more things to write bout, but hey i need to get some sleep...gnite....

halfcaphero

first things first.....baby, i cant sleep....hehehe...anyways, my legs killing me...

ouh, went to check on my acct, email, myspace, multiply, frenster.....it appears that my new nick halfcaphero have attracted a couple of vespa enthusiasts......some of them i know, some of them i dont.......

i dont think ill be joining the rescheduled soccer session tumoro......its my knee... aiyah....i dun want to be replaced by someone else on wednesday....oh, shahreil asked me to assist him in the shoot at peterpan's launch....cool huh....fun more like it...

sigh....i have to drag myself to work tumoro.....so the lazy.......wen is school gonna start.....

and oh, how i wish i have cable in my room, so tt i can subscribe to world cup...tt is why i want my own home.....tt'll have to be like in about 4-5years time....long wait.. but i hope itll be before the next world cup...

the smell of sweet peach jus makes me wanna set up my instruments...but hey its late....tumoro maybe yah?....gnite peepz....

sigh

was looking at the past comments on frenster and myspace......miss some of them frens......like they say frens come and go.....miss my vespa buddies especially... we were so close back then....until identity and growing up forces us to go our own seperate ways....we all need to pursue some things in life, tt each and everyone of us is after....wat it is, differ in indviduals....watever it is i pray all those past frens success.....to my present frens pls dun go into the past....and pardon my behaviour at times.....gracias for the frenship.....

slack mode 101

i decided not to go to work becos of stupid minor reasons.
1. RAINING
2. KNEE SPRAIN
3. I WOKE UP 20MINS LATE SO MEANS I GO BACK LATER.
4. SORE THROAT

hahaha dunno la but im just in a blardy switch off mode....but tt 4 reasons really formed up into one good reason for not to work on a SUNDAY.

aint no sunshine

ol skool kickin in....stolen from adil's frenster....



and oh...the lyrics for u guys to sing along...i know u want to...dun be shy..haha

BILL WITHERS
AIN'T NO SUNSHINE

Ain't no sunshine when she she's gone

it's not warm when she's away

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone

And she's always gone too long anytime she goes away.

Wonder this time where she's gone
wonder if she's gonna stay

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone

And this house just ain't no home anytime she goes away.

And I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
I know

I know
I know
I know
I know
I know

I know
I know
I know
I know

I know
I know
I know
I know

I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
...

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone

ain't no sunshine when she's gone

Only darkness every day
ain't no sunshine when she's gone

And this house just ain't no home anytime she goes away.

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
it's not warm when she's away
...

Anytime she goes away
anytime she goes away
anytime she goes away.

daily dose

this is ramones week....i found another ramones video and all time classic live.
blitzkrieg bop!....check it out.

hooked

arrgh.....ok, i admit im hooked on seesha...so i patronize those cafes in arab st with my gilly frens....now, ive even got my own set....a mini one...and man, peach is so peachy......im gonna restrict myself to 1 session a week....hmm i guess im gonna be smokin more when school starts....man it does relax me a little......damn u gilly boys.

ive come up with a system....since ive calculated tt with only 900bucks for allowance, minus my bike loans plus bills ttll gonna cost me abt 300. so im left with 600, im gonna save at least 200bucks which left me with 400, 100 for books and school expenses if not spent ill gv mom. another 300 for 10bucks a day expenses...pretty tight eh? well on top of tt, if i spent less than 10bucks, the rest will go to the piggy bank which will go to petrol or save up for road tax, maintenance, insurance, etc...seems like ive pretty much got a plan. AND if i can cope pretty well, im taking up part time job, so tt id have extra cash....probably for weekly movie trips with my baby....
gd nite every one

i dun want to grow up!

haiz...

my knees not good.....i cant run properly and i cant kick balls like last time....i hope it gets better...need to strengthen the thighs and the calve muscles to help it heal a little...its the weak acl.....sigh...

my baby's worn out.....i guess shes a little over worked....i hope u get better... rest well....love ya....to the core.

baby i love u

what a wonderful world

WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD

(George Weiss / Bob Thiele)

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

The colours of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shakin' hands, sayin' "How do you do?"
They're really saying "I love you"

I hear babies cryin', I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll ever know
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world
Yes, I think to myself, what a wonderful world

Oh yeah

P.s. click to watch joey ramone sing.

yoda said patience

may the force be with u....

patience is the key i guess....im too into my future thingy tt sometimes i worry too much. i cant wait to start school and see the outcome, see howd i do.....but i have to wait cos time appears to be moving slow.....so patience sid.

caramella, u have been left unattended and sunday i will wax u showroom shine and ride u ard.....i so want to put caramella in my own apt after i got my own tt is....but ttll have to wait at least in 3years time, if i do get married or sumthin, if not ill have to wait till im 35, where i can purchase my own home.......i feel old now but then again, the restrictions in sg made me so impatient to reach 35. i dunno why but i just feel tt.....if i happen to be not marrying and single at age 30, i hope i have an oversea offer and like susan(the lecturer) she have done nursing in UK, NewZealand and Hong Kong.....wow...its like a passport to travelling....cool...

speaking of travelling....i miss those days when i go in and out of singapore often. but i cant imagine how much i already spent cos i never really calculated but hey no regrets at all...it was fun and id love to do it again, except nowadays im a bit tight.

im still contemplating till today whether i wanna work till the end of the month of middle....i might need the money for books and stuffs for school....i feel like calling up mr chua, he's been asking black to ask me to call him....but paiseh la...
and wats more i dunno if i can cope working and studying....ill have to let 1semester pass first before i work part time, cos tis time round i dun wanna jeopardize my studies, i want to get good grades....not like the o level retakes, i only got 2Bs. i know i might be too ambitious for something tt i know nuts bout but hey my goal to get nothing less than a B....if possible all As.......ceh bah.....hehehe, we'll see..

c ya ard.....

sid thinks too much

fotos....can bring joy, memories, envious feeling, despair, anger and many more...
today some fotos bring me pressure.....fotos of my frens half-way to their fullfilments make me envious of them and wonder why im still nowhere......like my sayang told me, i think too much.....well, by nature im ambitious.....but did i not put in enough effort? in denial id say i did put 101%.........but then again, honestly, i did put in say 95%max....... but the thing is, i want to do what i like, not do jus becos i took a wrong path and im forced to follow that path, NO, i want to change tt path, tts why i took so long.....teaching....MOE u just missing a wonderful talent over here.......
i will teach, i hope so.....after 5years into nursing, ill get a degree and then ill try to get into teaching.....if theres no discrimination......hahaha

i worry, i think...too much.
i wanna do well in my 2 year of study.....but i worry i cannot discipline myself yet again to put in 101% effort.....but i guess im mature enough to do so....so sid, pinch ur penis and wake urself up....hehehe....NO i wont do that literally.......anyways, id want to do my best for me, not for anyone else... cmmon sid make those ppl's jaw drop for once.....

the wheather is so sweltering hot....but hey lets not complain....cos rain would deter me from going out....ouh, i pray during the 2years itll rain whenever i go out too often.....heheh....

alright more or less, ive laid my path before me, i only need to stroll thru it and probably climb some steep slopes along the way......but still i wanna live my childhood dreams....rockstar, racecar driver, or a superhero....fark ar sid go to sleep....heheh....nites everyone.......

iwantmyownapartment

i dunno wat to say......i just hate it when my uncle comes and talk bout his problems..
his problems is never ending.....financial....cos he wouldnt want to change.....and the more u shud shut the fuck up.....cos i need some peace at home and u speak like an apek so loud tt even me locked up in my room am irritated by ur stupid whinings.....and ure a coward, u only talk to ppl behind their back. damn!

so early?

why im online so early with this entry? 2 reasons....1.i was tired after floor waxing and i just went to bed early at abt 1245 last night, 2.i jus sense something was not right n i need to check out 'lostkeyz' 3.i need to send hweelan from hr my ns notification from mindef website....so theres actually three reasons...so wat... oh and why im not leaving for work yet? cos i jus dun wanna leave so early yet.....dun wanna recieve stocks and be the rest stupid servant while they claim they are busy stocking up their veges and fresh food.....ASS....like i dun have a department to take care like that......FUCKERS....anyways, today linda is on morning shift, so ill turn up anyways at 730am, she's nice to me, well to me theres only 1 bitch at work...and the mini bitch kaypo store keeper....only these two need to be sent to the firing squad.

when i read her entries, i felt guilty....guilty for making the remark "maybe ure just not trying hard enough".....ppl like shahreil n myself should know better at how hard it is to land ourselves a job even though we have a diploma and that remark shouldnt have left my mouth. about a year ago, me and some of my friends like is-topi, shahreil and many more are having a hard time looking for jobs...that was after the sucky job i got at harimau, who victimized unexperienced job seekers...
it was hard....we tried....i borrowed his classified section when i overslept and the papers were sold out....its like the only period of time, i religiously purchase straits time from the 7-11 across the street.....so, i know it is hard, do not despair....anyways ure still young, unlike me....i cant YET pursue what i really, really like to do.......well, nursing, i like too, thru the 2days attachment i enjoyed it.....but i would prefer teaching OR doodling...hehehe.....mebbe after 5 years of service, and after a degree, ill go into the education line....and become a lecturer at nyp, np or ite......finally, ppl can call me cikgu again...hehehe

to those out there looking for jobs...try and keep on trying, do not be bothered by wat ppl say, u know urself......some ppl only reach their success ladder a little later.....dont envy those who climb it sooner....for all you know they might be tripping when ure climbing urs......gee thats not too kind....hehehe....well, its reality.

insomniac

i cant sleep, issit cos of caffeine or i think too much?.....well i dunno but thousands of plans has flooded the membrane.....some are executable, some are not...i just wanna be on top....capricons...sigh....soooo ambitious...harharhar...

pissed off

some ppl jus pisses me off, shahreil pls be a buddy, help me look if u have the originals of reservoir dogs....u know whose bugging me.....shouldnt be so kind to unblock....sheeesh......

contagious

im down with flu since thurs.....up till now i still hasnt recovered fully....many are down with the flu....including my mom......my sayang too hasnt recovered fully.....

sigh....schools gonna start soon....im a nervous wreck....but i wanna make mom proud.. i want ppl to cheer me on stage recieving the diploma cos i get good grades and not like few years back the screamed my name and cheered on cos i had many frens....i want to be cheered for a reason...... tts not the only reason to get good grades...another reason is to secure a place for the specialist advance dip course after serving the bond. this specialist course is only available if the hospital decide to sponsor me and to make that possible, i have to prove myself worthy. the advance dip. means alot to me cos itll be my stepping stone to earning 200bucks more and my stepping stone to get promoted to senior staff nurse......then probably after some experience, id get the degree and become an educator...probably......i love it when i have plans.....:) keeps me going alright....

the flu...

the flu bug has struck my sayang....lucky nuff todays her off day...i hope she have a good rest and be well for work tumoro......

after a long rest of non physical activity, i weighed myself, phew im still within the below 80 barrier.....anyways, jus now, soccer...short session and me myself wasnt feeling too well...blocked nose....and weak....oh weak knees too...harharhar....but hey it was fun.....after such a long break.

i bought gluscosamine tablets just now in hope tt it helps repair or at least strengten a little my knee, so tt i can play soccer and skate again.....ive read about gluscosamine in mags and its supposed to help and it works....i hope it does on me. no harm trying.

tumoro is my work preparation thingy with wda....my next step to becoming a full pledged nurse....i dunno la but i think im fated to be a nurse....in sec school i wanted to be in one of the uniform groups...but i was rejected in those tt i want to join....n i got in st john's....heheh....then in army, i was posted to a medic school to be trained to become a paramedic...and now after countless attempts of finding a perfect career, i ended up with nursing.....i guess its fate....hehehe....i hope its gonna be a job i love...really love....

im gonna rejoin elken for the sake of health...i want to purchase those supplements again....cos i know the difference when i was regularly consuming it...and at the same time i hope can give me an income while im surviving on measely 900bucks for 2 years.

wall climbing anyone? im keen to try....i hope my baby dun chicken out hehehe...

until the next entry evryone....gnite....to my baby, hope u get well a 100%

evryone knows now

everyone at work knows now tt ill be resigning pretty soon.....i was afraid tt sng would know but in the end i confessed when he asked why i want to take half day leave. i said medical check...he asked for job is it? i said yeah....and so on.... but its lucky he's ok with it as he too tells me, if theres better opportunity elsewhere. why not...phew wat a relief....

gotta get ready to go for medical check up and later visit my grampa...adios

i guess my mom now knows i have a gf....cos she saw the clothes nani gave my sis...

replay, testing 1,2,3

i can never get tired of saying this to her..."...aku sayang kau...." :)

gnite peepz.....tumoro is a long day, werk to imh then finally meet my baby.....:)

here we go.....

sigh.....work later....after discovering tt i got in, work is even much more a drag..i think ill just stop working middle of the month and start looking for a part-time job.

i woke up jus, jus only and i was day-dreaming....if i had my own house, caramella would be in the spare room and i want to redo her until shes showroom condition... cool huh.....then i feel like i wanted a harley.....mebbe ill look for zack wen i have the money liao..hehehe.......but hey, its just dreaming, so babey dun freak out yet... hehehe.....im like counting chicks before they hatch but hey i cant help it, everyones got dreams right?....hmm a 34inch teevee in the living room, cos frankly presently, i only get to watch crappy sg channels in my room on an old school tube......hmm playstation 3!....hahaha....air-conditioned bedroom.....i wanna paint murals in the spare room.....ouh oh the arcade machine or a pin ball machine, ive always wanted that!
and a gum ball machine....a super powerful pc with super huge lcd screen.....full sound system for me to blast my music...and oh! a turntable would be nice.....hmmm...i want those stainless steel fridge and washer.....hehehe....oh yes the recliner at ikea......
hahahha.......sid, sid.....forever dreamin...but hey my dreams do come true....:P

the revolvah

i come to a point where i cant think of a title for my entry...so here it is the revolvah(pronounced zach de la rocha style) for the not working mind......*pow!*

back as a civilian.....god damn it feels good.....but then my hair is so fucken short i might be mistaken for a recruit but anyways it feels light except it doesnt look good and my nani says i look like a fishball now....:(...hehehehe

this reservist reminded me of the last one, no, not about the training but about the incident it was the time someone i trusted most actually lied and cheated me....it was the period of time whereby i was so worried and sad.....but hey tt is long gone and ive long dusted it away and dispose off it for good......

u know wat it feels good to know tt someone misses u too.....at least i know im not alone....i guess god has given me a replacement for my countless heartaches in the past.
-------------------------------------------------

i have so many ppl tt is around me tt makes my life alot more pleasant....thanks sayang....and thanks guys.....i dunno how id deal with life if i were so alone like somewhere at the end of 2004.

yesterday wendy from hr called up......
"hello, can i speak with mohammed siddiq?"
"yes, speaking...."
"i'm wendy from imh, id like to inform u tt u have been accepted into nyp for the 2 year accelerated diploma course"
(silently)"YES! YES AH!"

but then again, i have to go thru the medical check up before i can declare myself a a nurse at imh....heheheh......im in for this job for 50%interest + 50%stability and prospects. its all about the future......

my goals to achieve, is to save enough for the glorious day and get my own home and of course start a family.....im already turning 27....and after im finally a staff nurse id be turning 29. i know its late but like abdulrani my reservist mate told me, its never too late, he was married after NS, and hes now 28 and only completed his 3 year diploma last year, it was for the sake of his future he says....somehow, the conversation with him, motivated me and tells me ive made the right choice.

well, i want to own a home of my own and probably an automobile of my choice one day.
ive got a plan lay before me, and of course as usual a back up plan...

gotta clear up my room now, i wanna meet my baby later....love her....thnks sayang for being there for me 24/7, ive never had someone who loves me as much as u do.

she is the one.....

we're back to normal....i love her soooo much....ive never loved anyone this much before....ill miss u this week im away....love u lots.....

im sorry

i was cranky the other day, just a little, so when tt taxi refused to give way, i honked the horn so long tt she pulled away my hand thus causing the bike to wobble, which instantly made me screamed at her.....i didnt mean to scream at her, i was angry at the taxi tts all.....and mebbe too earlier i scolded her for changing out meeting place as i was already at the interchange only to read her sms tt she is now at the mrt station.....i was fine later on, but i sense tt theres something wrong when she was like keeping her distance from me....and she wasnt smiling for a very long time.....i was frustated actually when she refuses to tell me wats wrong and i already apologised tt i screamed at her, it wasnt intentional.....i hope she forgives me....

i dun feel like doing anything

sorri peepz dun feel like doing anything....today, tumoro n god knows when....jus wanna lie in bed and stare at the ceiling.....gnite peepz....i think my 1 week reservist will help me a little....i think i wanna tender my resignation at fp very soon...but gotta be after 3rd, wen i get my pay.

fun to me is....

i was telling my baby...fun to me is....skateboarding, scootering and anything tt i enjoy doing without pressure.....:)....

one month....

on the 10th day of may, we went out and boy, the dinner at ramen ten was wonderful... sure nuff its super spicy...both of us, eyes watery and all...but hey i was satisfied and guess wat, exactly one month ago was the time wen we first held hands, wen we first realized we did really fall for each other, wen we put aside differences and surrender our egos.....wen we open up......time flies eh?.... love ya....

gotta sleep now, reservist training tumoro...medic!...heheh...sian....

bad + good day

hmm shud i start with the good or the bad....i think ill go in the order of its occurence.....

my damn area manager tt katek tt thinks he knows it all reprimanded my staff n me for our unsatisfactory performance....firstly i feel its not fair, cos 1, short of manpower, 2. he keep coming at the times wen we finished selling most of our stocks for instance monday morning, as u know, weekends, alot of customers thus more stocks sold out......i do not want to elaborate as it only increases my blood pressure doing so. to cut it short, hes a doesnt know wats really happening so stop blabbering...and mr sng, ur way of managing is kunoh...tts not the way to cut cost....u cut down manpower doesnt mean u get greater GP. less manpower means less job done thus means store not 100% ready for shoppers, thus.....u know the chain reaction.....

ok lets go on to the good things....so my blood pressure would go down a little...

the smile on her face just make everything bad disappear....and boy was i relieved plus delighted to see tt smile on her face......to hear her giggles and laugthers just put a wide smile upon my face.....before we knew it, we were back to normal, we knew we loved each other tt much......i love u my dear and i hope we never part....

.....

work, was okay....as i kept in mind tt ill be leaving pretty soon but sometimes frankly, i do enjoy retail line.

my dear today had a bad day at work, i didnt do much to cheer her up, instead i made her felt guilty for things she had not actually done but she thought she did. no, u never controlled me, i was just being fair to u. i didnt made plans with my frens, i told u we'd go out today since i was out with my frens yesterday, tt was the simple explanation why i turned my frens down. i gave up trying to convince u to join in cos i now already u'd never change ur mind. the karaoke session with my bros were never planned, it just so happen, we all were eager to check out the new gilly model, tts all....and they had to bump into me....i hope both my frens and my dear understands with the decision i made.....if they dont, i guess they are not what they are after all.

i felt lousy, wen i saw tt teary eye, i knew something was wrong, i was too persistent and insensitive but then, i was dumb enough not to know wat to say or to do to calm or ease her....all i could do was smile but i couldnt find the words or things to say cos she just wouldnt open up....id rather she open up, be frank with me tt shes not ok then keep it inside and feel angry, hurt or sad on her own. now, im the guilty one not her....i guess this is the first day tt everything didnt work out, the first day after one month being together.....i guess today was never meant for us to go out.....firstly, the irritating customers at work just spoils her mood...2ndly, joane, her colleague wanted to find out whom her bf was, which is me, their supervisor......3rdly, i bump into my fren and my pestering her to join in the fun just spoils her mood further and made her felt lousy........4thly the lightings, the false alarm of a heavy downpour forces me to send her home and just stops me from ending the day with her & myself smiling.......i hate today.....if i knew today was going to turn up this bad, i would just rot at home this fateful beautiful sunday, i was awaken at this hour cos i just cant have a sound sleep....to sum it all up, i was never angry at her, i was only upset and disappointed, tts all. i just wanted her to join in the fun i usually have with my frens, the ppl i turn to when i had no one else all this while. and im never the kind of guy tt would leave u along the way to join my frens, that is just not right, furthermore, i made plans with u first and in the first place, there wasnt any plans with my frens...

at times like this, i feel im not the one for her. i hope if she feels im not it along the way be frank with me and just dump me. but if she can accept our differences, then ill be very happy.

bored

the chalet was utter boredom....shouldnt have went but fyn is our fren and being there at least put a wider smile upon her face.today i think i ate too much, im bloated...heh

speaking of which, i hope my other half wouldnt be so worried about her getting out of shape....i think she looks fine and frankly theres nothing wrong with her, i felt guilty though jokingly pointing out some of her flaws...i felt so guilty tt i feel theres a need to apologise....stop worrying my dear, i was only joking la....can?..

anyways, im tired....need to work tomorow....gnite....

blank

so caramella is going to stay with me for good.....i have plans....like is-shry told me, keep ur vespa in ur flat.....but not now la, now i havent got my own...maybe in 3years time eh.....lay-up caramella and keep her for good...cool....i want a flat in bukit batok also...cos i dun wanna be apart from my frens and of course my mom.....

hmmm...ive not been well lately....i gues its jus cos i rest less lately.......

im worrying about my future alot...i jus want to be comfortable later in life.

im not under peer pressure anymore, i do wat i want nowadays......i think im growing up.

i still do not know when i will skate again.......and i miss kicking balls so much...

aiyah.....

theres nothing wrong with laughing....in fact its a good way to ease oneself.... so dont worry, i guess ure just pretty happy yeah?.....

at first i worry bout writing this down...but hey, id like to jot dot wat comes to mind........im having second tots bout letting caramella go.....ok if its below my expectation....ill not let it go...id hold on to it.....i still love it...perhaps id lay it off for awhile uh?.....ill find part time to make up.....really.....

haiz....its just months away till we are really busy with each others stuffs....me, going back to school, pursuing my future and u on ur first real job..... but hey itll be only 2 years yeah?...so i guess we'll have to bear with it....then after that itll be back to normal....

reservist coming soon....sigh....

my area manager is keeping his eyes on me....he thinks i did not perform....well, fuck him....i did my job tts all i know....i tried....if he thinks its so simple, well take my place dumbfuck......ill just bear with it till i start school...... i do love retailing but the system is just fucked up....major cock up....

gotta go dudes....surfing for means and ways to kickstart my ebay 'business' again..

sigh....

im a happy man....my dear, laugh a little lesser, nanti tido ngigau...hehehe....

kla frens gnite, today is another day, ill sleep smiling.....love u my dear....

yeah!

my darlin will be thrilled to hear this....ill be a nurse....imh has decided to take me in....'iamvicious' is officially now a registered nurse for the institute of mental health.....

splitting headache

i dunno why but my head hurts a little right now....

my sayang will be having her interview tumoro for the TL position with FP, i know she'll get it....gd luck yeah.....

chris called me up, i hope this time round chris can help me close a deal....then my savings will kickstart instantly....well, its already started....cos of the progress package.....put aside 500 liao....the rest i have to settle my 'debts' and bills....
many ppl wouldnt understand....but hey i think im making the right choice......i should be....

tumoro, i can forsee itll be a long day at work...i can see that ill dread to go back.. but hey, i gotta make myself useful...and i shall not disappoint the ppl ard me....i guess my boss is starting to trust me a little...

i gotta sleep, im going to the bank tomoro with shahreil...to find out more bout saving plans....i hope it doesnt rain in the afternoon, cos i got loads of things to do tumoro, tt includes.. the bank, bike shop for servicing....

gnite, peepz....she jus msged me, she lost her anklet....aiyah nvm la, i buy u another one kay?....gnite all....

gd luck sayang

hahaha sajak ar tu laki bini supervisor kat ntuc fp......anyways gd luck for ur interview next tuesday........i know its hard to get a job nowadays....but patience and keep on trying......anyways im positive ull get it....

if i love someone, no matter how stressed up, how busy, how tired, ill always make time for tt someone....id rather she confide in me than keep it to herself....at least i know wats going on...

im more relaxed nowadays at work....theres load of things to be done...but i take it as it comes...i get less stressed out nowadays...and im feeling great....why ar?...hehehe.

going to the chalet organized by fellow tags...my other brothers.....the rain made me ouh so lazy....but ill go anyway, i promised ill come, so i will....cya guys....

try this harmless test

Test.. have fun! Don't cheat!! If you are honest, this tells the truth. It's pretty good. Write your answers on a piece of paper, and NO cheating!!

1.Which is your favorite color out of: red, black, blue, green, or yellow?

2. Your first initial?

3. Your month of birth?

4. Which color do you like more, black or white?

5. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

6. Your favorite number?

7. Do you like Flying or Driving more?

8. Do you like a lake or the ocean more?

the answers:
1.If you choose: Red - You are alert and your life is full of love. Black - You are conservative and aggressive. Green - Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back. Blue- You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love. Yellow - You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.

2. If your initial is: A-K You have a lot of love and friendships in your life. L-R You try to enjoy your life to the m aximum &your love life is soon to blossom. S-Z You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

3. If you were born in: Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected. April-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever. July-Sep: You will have a great year and will experience a major life-changing experience for the good. Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.

4. If you chose: Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the e best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change. White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.

5. This person is your best friend.

6. This is how many close friends you have in your lifetime.

7.If you chose: Flying: You like adventure. Driving: You are a laid back person.

8.If you chose: Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your lover and are very reserved. Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people..

ive done it and guess wat, shahreil is my best friend....hehehe.... n i have 6 close frens, so few....hahah...

why not earlier...

ok, so i didnt go to bed....hehehe....cos i just had to find out if u wrote something... actually sayang, i was wondering about it too....why didnt i meet u earlier? must i meet all the rotten ones before i meet u?, must i go thru umpteen heartbreaks and aches before i meet u?......but i wouldnt complain cos finally i met someone tt is really worth meeting, cos finally all the unhappiness is gone....

well, ur mom is right, we are indeed inseperable....i love u sayang....gnite....

Ke mana saja
Kau berlari bersembunyi..
Ku tahu cintamu
Padaku teguh..
Takku peduli cara
Dan tingkah lakumu
Kerna ku takkan pergi
Jauh dari sisimu
Dengarlah kasih

Kan kuserahkan segala kepadamu
Kan kuserahkan segala kepadamu

Kan kubina sebuah singgahsana
Untukmu berlindung
Dari hujan basah
Pabila malam
Ku termimpikan wajahmu
Takkan jiwa ragaku
Berakhir nikmatnya
Dengarlah kasih
Kan kuserahkan segala kepadamu
Kan kuserahkan segala kepadamu

Senyuman Ragamu ~ Gerhana Ska Cinta

sigh....

its like ive known her forever....its like we've been together for so long....and funny we have alot more in common than i expected....i think its call fate....

im so relaxed with her.....its like as if im going thru some kind theraphy whenever im with her, im so calm, although like she said, i think too much but still, i think calmly.......after all, i did ask her to be my drug...

im not a paranoid android wen im with her...no worries....more like just plans.... and plans...and plans....we think alike.....i think that goes with the saying great minds think alike....hahahaha....

i cant wait to be hearing from IMH......i think tt job is my future....i think id love the job....it helps me in away...it helps me to keep me awake and it tells myself not to think too much or ill be like them....hahaha....

i saw the group of harleys roar past me last night, its like purposely making me drool....i dunno why...but i still think harley is cool....provided its not those pakcik2 wanna be who rides it.....hahaha....the image of the harley is supposed to be associated with big burly individuals or those hardcore, toughie image not some fat, beer bellied, flabby pakcik2...just ruin the bikes reputation....hahaha......sorry no offense but tts what i feel.....

my dear, sorry i fell asleep last night...i was tired i guess....and sleepy...i slept soundly, no dreams.....hehehe...love ya lots....

haiya....

watever la eh....i know wat im not....
i write watever comes to mind good or bad....so if u dun like it, dun read, simple. i dun compose, i just write wat comes to mind.....a criminal will stay a criminal in ur mind only.

24th april is mom's bdae

happy bdae my dearest mom, hope ud like the watch i bought u......

i am cleaning my room now until i start sneezing away at the dust around me, so here i am on my computer as bob marley is wailing on my speakers......

i realised that i have an expensive taste for hobby...i tend to like stuffs that are expensive, like motorcycles, photography, games and gadgets......but my paycheck doesnt allow me to have some of those.....in fact i have to give up some cos i need to start saving....hopefully, wen im stable and all and probably wen my paycheck reach at least 2k, id love to own a car but due to its impracticality, i guess a harley would be fine, those fat ass rude choppers....but then again, a ktm540 supermoto would be nice too...
hmmm....i guess, im outgrowing small bikes....but still id go for unconventional motorcycles...hmmm.....dreaming is nice....can feel those engines vibrating, the roar of those phat engines....grrr....hehehe

dreaming is nice but making a dream a reality is even better.....and god knows im on my way to do that, although i might be slower from some ppl....i still feel shahreil is the luckiest of the lot....a good job(he's even making money off freelance assignments) and good soon to be wife....sigh...wat else can u ask for....

i feel a need to pick up a skill that might be useful and might bring in some dough too...ive always wanted to pick up photography..hmm mebbe wen i have a little bit of spare cash....mebbe....but meanwhile, i guess ill pick up cost-less skills... i saw this "threadless-tees" they have all sorts of t-shirts tt sells, seriously sells and the designs are what i could come up with....but then again, theres too much competition in this line in sg....anyways ill do wat i like, id start off with one for TAGS(twist and go scooters) my new few months old scooter club....ill come up with something, silk-screen or hand paint my own tee n wear it one day and see wat they says....:)....

gotta bet back to cleaning up before my butt get glued to the stool that shahreil bought me for my bdae......

i need to save up...

i actually pull out from the leo vince exhaust system reservation bcos i think i dun really NEED it.....and i NEED to save up......for something else......for myself...my future...sorri guys for troubling u all....i hope its not much of a problem to strike off my name from the reservation list......

i gotta start to be more disciplined.....have to budget myself and probably have to start bringing food from home to work.......and mebbe less movies....mebbe just once a week....:)....

i think somehow u woke me up yest thru our conversation.....love ya...true nuff, im weak with temptations and i tend to spend when i have the money......i guess im going to start another bank account, this time round, no atm cards even if i have, id let mom keep it....any suggestions for which bank i should save in?....

alright, gotta get ready for work....tts all folks...

saturdae....

nenek, sorry sidek lupa la....nasib baik cik timah sms...hehe....my grandma is going off next week, to mecca.....so they sorta held a doa selamat for her and my two uncles.....my stepmom came from indo just to attend it but she have to go back tommorow and wulan my sister didnt come cos she started work oredi....i faced some unfamiliar faces and of course my aunts n uncles n cousins whom i see only once a year....its good to get together with the family....my nenek told me my dad is better now, he's starting to send money for my 2 younger siblings......before i left, nenek hugged me, can feel tt somehow im still like macam her fav. grandchild...hehehe

ouh my uncle were trying to tell me not to switch to nursing cause ill waste my dip in mech eng.....but hey, ill go back to eng if i really didnt get into nursing...my aim is to be a lecturer one day.....if i can discipline myself to get good grades and hopefully get sponsored for a degree...and so on...

i think my bike needs servicing and change of brake pads and probably adjustments to the shocks...n i need to go to viacom on monday....speaking of which monday is mom's birthday.....gonna suprise her...

went out with my baby jus now, she's fluish...but we really enjoyed the movie i must say...and i just found out, we like the same drink, guess wat, teh halia...mine i prefer teh o halia....hehe cool...and guess wat, she likes maggie goreng too... coolness....oh nurse yani saw us jus now.....but she was shy to approach us....so she msged me just now....hehe....

now ive got to refrain from overspending...i must start saving....little by little pon jadilah...heheh......skit2 lama2 jadi bukit kan...

ouh i hope ud get well soon dear....monday we go out kay?...gnite dear...swt dreams...

still....

when i held her in my arms, its like as if i just dont wanna let go...i wish the time wouldnt have passed so fast....wen shes with me, its like as if every pain, every problems has just went away....everything just disappear in a blink of the eye....i can only see u, and u calmed me down, u calmed down the savage vicious beast within me...
i need u, my dear....gnite...

mad house

first of all to my baby....im sorry....u appeared bothered by wat ive said....i really didnt mean any harm....

mad house.....ppl shud stop having the perception that a mental hospital is filled with haywire and chaotic patients who bang their heads against the walls, smash windows, etc. but in actual fact those rarely happen......well it does but mebbe only one or two but rarely....seriously....

they are just normal ppl in their world of their own.....their illness are mostly result of problems....like, relationship, financial, family, work and even studies..
only, ONLY once in awhile they get their relapse and started shouting, blabbering nonsense on their own or even pick a fight with fellow patients...otherwise they are fine......i played ping-pong with one, scrabble with another and a long game of checkers with the champion of the ward, mr razalee....so u see, we all who have never visited IMH has this wrong impression, that the place is with bars, and ppl behind it are chaotic and violent....we are wrong.....u should visit IMH one of these days, instead of feeling scared, ud feel sad for them, their condition and worse, some are even abandoned....im sad, it touched my soul, especially seeing my fellow muslim brothers in there, unwell and some abandoned....they did not ask to be in their state, im sure enough they do not want to be like tt......i almost got teary, when i see some of the good ones, help out, clear the tables, make the bed, even though some have physical handicap......theres more to describe i can go endless.....i think im going to love my new job if god permits....

do visit IMH one of these days, its a real eye opener....

.....

be my forever.....guide me for i still need guidance,
i was lost, i was misled previously, i was left, lost alone.

i think ure the first tt truly love me, ure the first tt worries i might go away, ure the first.

i miss u...

pray for my future, which will also be our future.....pray that i have chosen the right ladder to the top.

insya'allah everything will go smoothly......

gnite my dear...

prezzie hunting

ive been hunting for a present for dear mommy with my sayang for the past couple of days and only today did i settle for that swatch watch....i wanted to get the dress watch but i want something tt mom would wear everyday, so i get something more for daily use.....i love my mom, she gives me support in things tt i do....she knows ill be there but i may take some time....

ive got an attachment with IMH, insya'allah ill be gain acceptance into the accelerated 2year dip in nursing....insya'allah ill have a handsome paycheck after the 2years and insya'allah i can send my mom to haj...n insya'allah kalau ada jodoh...u know...

shahreil n yati, u guys looked like as if u were already married jus now...u know newly wed couples...i dunno why la.....bt tts wat i felt

im so comfortable with her...ni....my sayang....its like we've been together for years....yes ure my everything....

gnite peepz.....

sleepless

i cant sleep.....1stly i have to iron my uniform, 2ndly, i just cant....sigh....

still floating in the air...

i love u baby....thnks for supporting me....i feel like im much stronger with u by my side...love ya...gnite

deja vu....

i was reading the tag board....then i realised....mebbe id have tt deja vu in a couple of years time.....hehehe was just thinking...

i dropped my baby's helmet....i just bought her tt helmet last week...i broke the tiny thing tt holds the beak....but luckily, i got it fixed...good as new now....sorry dear, was an accident...

today i guess shes dead tired, she didnt reply wen i msged her gnite......

today i finally spoke my mind to doreen, the fat bitch at work who manipulates and abuses her authority....she was in charge of rostering us, supervisors....but damn u she makes everything convenient for her....tt bitch changed my off day once i objected but i let her have the good friday off in place for a saturday....and now she's taking advantage of the fact that i can compromise and changed my off day at the last week of april...damn her...i spoke my mind off just now....it took some weight of my chest... and my dear was happy tt i told tt bitch off....shes such a bitch....anyways, i dun intend to stay for long....their system sucks...and some things they do are just wrong....i just hope i get into nursing soon...if theres no reply by end june, id look for elsewhere for another job, a better paying and a job with a better prospect and future...

i want to make it happen, what i told u....and i hope it will....:) cya tumoro...

i guess its true

probably wat adil said yest was possible....its not tt we do not want to be wealthy and all, its just we tend to be contented with being in the middle, moderate, kalau orang melayu cakap sederhana....BUT, i do want to be up ther or at least somewhere near, at least a car and a comfortable life....at least i dont have to scrimp and save to buy the things i want or have to think about the bills...know wat i mean?....

someday, someday...

finally

finally ive got a decent monitor now....i have a decent pc now! with a decent monitor, the new ibm monitor cost me 32bucks...cheap right?.....

thnks adil for the help, if not i couldnt possibly get tt monitor on a bike...hehe

i am me, not anyone else.

she was worried, worried tt history will repeat itself.....i am me, sid, siddiq not anyone else...wats more the almost similar incident happened to me too a couple of years ago, i too was devastated, lost, u name it......i too lost trust in the other gender...but to label all of them the same would be unfair...cos not all of them are the same, probably in a flock of white sheeps, there'd be some blacks but we cant possibly stereotype them.

i know, i worry too, worried to try again but she gave me the confidence and i think she shud be confident bout me too.....about wat if i met someone better, to commit for me is to accept the person as she is, to accept watever flaws if there is, to accept the differences....like they said, the grass will always be greener on the other side but if u kept looking at the other side, how would u know the one ure on isnt as green or even greener? get wat im trying to say......wen im on it, wen i commit, theres only u, no one else only u....

"i would never even think of it, i would never even try to hurt u, u trusted me and i shouldnt betray ur trust in me...i loved u, i loved u even more when i learnt ur true, undying love for me, i dunno how to prove it bt only time will tell..."

gdnite my dear, take away all those fears from ur head, erase the history, the negativity tt has happend just like wat im trying to do everyday....soon nuff, ull put everything behind and there'll only be sunshine, stars and rainbows ahead for u, not gloom.....gnite, sweet dreams sayang.....:) urs truly, sid.

the ninth cloud

nobody, nobody has said such things to me, ure flattering me, im not tt perfect my dear, but wat u said touched me deep, deep inside.....i never knew tt u wud love me tt much. i hope so too ther'd be no tears, if there had to be, it wud only be tears of joy... :)

i cant find the words to fill this entry....
i just feel tt my life is so much better now with u....now, i only yearn for a better job. so tt i can make some things a reality...

you...

ure it, ure my drug, i just know.....i yearn for u...i do not know how to show or tell u how deeply true is tt. u made me smile, jus lookin at u made me smile, u brighten up my day, u made me miss u, i didnt know u were so addictive....ure the cure, the cure for the ailments that i had, i ever had and probably those i will have will never even exist...ure it...:)

----------------------------
frens of the gilera clan tags became closer....we became much closer than just frens, it felt like we're a family, brothers....the bond got closer as we shared our interests....but i hope itd go far beyond than just interests, laughter and fun...i hope we can rely on each other in times of needs....like the guys in bukit batok, my brothers, the few, im proud of u guys, kudos to u all, who kept me alive while im struggling to recuperate from the devastation, the dieseas, the plague that consumes me.....ur encouragements, ur words, so little yet helped me to gain strength to stand up again.... thnks guys...
---------------------------

ive never had a perfect family, i rely on external parties sometimes to make me feel at home, alive....they, my frens, the closer ones are like brothers i never had....

----------------------------

i still yearn to skate, i wish my knee would go back to its form again....i do squats to strengthen my thighs and calves so tt i could skate again.... its a passion tt i tot was just part of growing up back wen i was 16 but wen i started again, its much more than tt...its not a matter of how good u are, its how much u enjoy it.... having frens like naz and adisam kept the spirit alive...i guess ill be like tt guy i saw whom have a 10 year old kid and still skating.....he stayed true to himself doing wat he enjoys and not swayed by peer pressure to grow up and leave the things u love behind. salute.....

---------------------------

Iskandar-shry told me to keep my vespa in my room....i wish i could....but im not living on my own....:)....i love my vespa, really....honest.

--------------------------

lastly, was i the culprit or was i the victim....who gives a fuck what they think,i know who i am & im happy now, tts all i care..

--------------------------

can i go out with u again tumoro pls?....:) sms me aight?

--------------------------

i could smile all day...

reading ur blog made me smile.....reading ur blog made me feel the warmth... i could smile all day now and put all things behind me, all the bad things....indeed god did put a smile upon my face...:)

god put a smile upon my face

i think im feeling it again....

the essentials....

im preparing my pack for skate sessions, the essentials for a full day skate session.
1. sunscreen 2.knee brace 3.tiger balm muscle rub 4.face towel 5.my sony bean loaded with 'power' packed songs....sheesh i just realised my right eye is swollen...damn...

u know why i twisted my knee....i never followed wat naz told me, wen u know ure not gonna make it let it go dun follow with the deck...i dunno wat happened back then i guess the 5050 wasnt stable but i followed thru...true enough i bailed bad.... lesson learnt, shared amongst all....and guess wat it can be applied to life too, if u know its not gonna make it, let it go....peace...

im still wondering why my right eye is swollen, was it the pain killers? i dont think i have any allergies....i hope itll be fine...double whammy, bad knee, swollen eyes, wats next?

nxt week, patience my fren

soon nuff i guess ill recover from my injury.....soon nuff ill be rolling on my board grinding, fliping, turnin....soon nuff......it has started, itll b sometime before i stop, summo i got more skate buddies now...im back to like 10 years ago....except i feel like im more mature...i dun care bout those ard me, i skate for myself.....no pressure at all...do wat i want...

ouh, muliani's father did a fairly good job except he never did the whole treatment cos he was afraid i could not withstand the pain...pain, everyone feels pain, its whether one can endure it or not and i think i could endure....reely...but hey at least i can straighten my knee now and i can limp faster....hahahah....oh my bb frens sorry, sid have to be missing from alif for at least a couple more days, his knee failed him, see ya in a couple of days......

see ya guys and adisam, hey dude i have to forgo thursday's session.....next ya dude? aight? c ya ard peepz

told ya sid

i told ya, why must u be stubborn sid?..u n ur risk taking....but hey now i know, so at least i know and thus i wont be going on hoping or sumthin like tt.....:)... thursday it is, hope naz is on afternoon shift or off....lets skate...tt is if my knee is ok..

end of another week...

coolness....been wanting to skate for like weeks....today was fucken great. from 11am all the way until 4pm when i twisted my knee(i have history with my left knee). i came to the skatepark alone....hoping theres nobody...so i can skate and do my stuff....then i saw someone there, wen i came nearer it was naz-ironman...heheh....coolness the old time skate buddy back in bukit batok wen i was just 16.....now im 26....its like as if we had arranged for a skate session....anyways it was great, few clean kickflips, halfcabs and 50-50 im contented but i need more cos skating is my drug....and naz tot me how to use the half pipe too...its tough.....but its fun...

yest, the gilera meet up, was fun but a little disappointed cos many never turn up... i was out with them from 6pm all the way to 5am...whaoh.....but the funny thing is i woke up at 10am not tired but rather the urge to skate....

now im down with a twisted knee, i know a small bit of my meniscus is stuck in between.... sheesh get out of there so i can straighten my knee and not walk like a retard....the ppl at the skatepark was great, especially the old birds of skateboarding.....hey go back put ice ar, if not cannot skate....and he didnt even know me....ill be back....confirm, 101% this thursday if i recovered, ill try to perfect my thang.....hehehe...

anyway muliani, when's the next movie session eh?....seems like ure now my movie buddy....

kan ku serah segala padamu

tis ska-melayu mp3 has been playing non stop ever since i got it from rex last night. i love gscyes didil when the jammin session? i vox or bass kay?

Gerhana Ska Cinta feat Radhi OAG
Senyuman Ragamu

Ke mana saja
Kau berlari bersembunyi..
Ku tahu cintamu
Padaku teguh..
Takku peduli cara
Dan tingkah lakumu
Kerna ku takkan pergi
Jauh dari sisimu
Dengarlah kasih

Kan kuserahkan segala kepadamu
Kan kuserahkan segala kepadamu

Kan kubina sebuah singgahsana
Untukmu berlindung
Dari hujan basah
Pabila malam
Ku termimpikan wajahmu
Takkan jiwa ragaku
Berakhir nikmatnya
Dengarlah kasih
Kan kuserahkan segala kepadamu
Kan kuserahkan segala kepadamu

interesting night

no muliani u did not promise....hehe and no i dun mind if we cancel it...but anyways we end up watching dorm, was satisfied with it except its not scary all the way.. but anyway overall its worth to watch....ouh i forgot to mention.....someone was late... hehehe but luck was on our side, the show started few minutes after we sat...

the tests....ive been wanting to discover how accurate the tests were, these tests will somehow determine some sort of ur personality....i think basically in ur love life, ur characteristics...and yeah its was quite accurate....ive read before....and some said these are done by thousand years of studying the pattern of human behaviour, i read it somewhere long time ago but never really knew of the tests ....somehow things u do, the way u do things reflects on what u are in person....

the questions,
1) if given 2 routes to somewhere say ur gf's place, which would u choose the long route or the shortest one?
well for me, at times i take the long route but in this case and usually i take the shortest and fastest route.

2) if u have 20 red roses and 20 white roses, and were to give ur loved one 20 stalks how many would u give? i chose to give 15 white and 5 red, my reason well, i like white better and i feel without red the essence of love would be missing....i wanna show her i love her but at the same time give what i feel is nicer n more unique overall...

3)if u came to ur gf's place and she were asleep, would u prefer her to wake her up or would u just let her sleep n watch? i would watch, cos i did tt before, i couldnt sleep, she was sleepy, i like looking at her sound asleep...theres this kind of soothing unexplainable feeling its like so calm...

4)if u go to her house, would u wait for her or anyone to open the door for u before u enter or u just open the door urself?
i would wait cos i feel its not my home and i should let the owner open, then i enter.

THE CONCLUSIONS which i agree but not totally..

1) the longer route means u dun easily fall in love,...i chose the shortest route and true enough i admit, i easily fall in love of course la not with everyone..

2)red roses means u give but u dun expect anything in return while white the other way round....this i partly agree cos when i was selling stuffs last time, i expect to make alot.....but if in love, i give a 101% and honestly i do expect the person to give the same....

3)if u wait for someone to open for u means u cant solve ur relationship problems urself and need someone to help u settle things, a third party. not totally true, i settle things myself but i do seek advice and opinions but ultimately, i make the choice and decisions.

4) if u watch her sleep, ure the kind tt like the person the way he/she is and would not demand her to change meaning accepting as wat she/he is. very true...

conclusion, quite accurate indeed wat u do actually shows wat u are...

the other test i did was my handwriting pattern, i was to write the numbers 1-9 and somehow the way i write shows wat i am and the results were,
im not straightforward, i tend to beat around the bush...
im not fillial(nah i dont think so) probably this applies cos my dad is in jakarta hehehe...
my other half is so-so not pretty not ugly either, normal....true enough my past ones were..its not totally bout looks u know..:)
i do not know how to save...very true...i save but i end up spending it...
i got lots of frens but theres backstabbers....very fucken true and proven as well.
ur other half is shorter than u ... 2 out of 3...i guess the 3rd one doesnt count much cos tt was only like 2weeks long...

these tests is not reading the future, tt would be wrong and i wouldnt want to do those cos, firstly its wrong in Islam and 2ndly if u can tell the future...haiya go figure...these tests are rather showing the patterns of how humans do things actually have some relations to their characteristics/behaviour....

thnks ya for the tests, it was very interesting....

after the movie n the tests, i went on to meet syed, aidil & ryzan, my gilera frens, i already turn them down last saturday cos i was bz fixing up my pc, and i havent met them since the bbq....and i miss seesha....the normal we do over there, bike talk, tech talk, etc...talking cock..ehehe...but main thing, we were going to do a patch for all our 'members'....believe or not now we are 18 man strong,..hmm actually 16men & 2ladies all riding gilly.....but of course there was no meet ups tt all could turn up....hehehe...wish therell be one day....if only adil & nadzir would join in the fun.....but i reckon theyd do so, adil rejected my invitation so many times..its pure fun....i wish adil n nadzir would come if i ask them to join this saturday's outing.

anyways, thnks the four peeps tonight whom made my evening a fun one...love y'all and guys id make up for the soccer next week...ouh thursday....waxing...haiyah work late again...sheesh......but 2 more days to my off day....yeay.....

i had to jot this down

before i slept yest, tot of racing on my ps2 but then i ended up watching rodney's skate videos, his act always amazes me.......the yearn to skate has been stretched to 2 weeks now as my buddies is busy with work n stuffs.....so this is wat i dreamt as a result.....>>>

i was with my skate board pulling wicked ol skool stuff, i guess it was at some kinda shop like go-sport, old skool, tattered and all.....then i needed to go to the loo, and somehow i accidentally touched the wall that was filthy with 'human-dirt' ewww..then suddenly i lost my pair of lovely skate shoes....on my way out....i dunno how, after all its a dream....i went looking and looking thinking it was some prank, then i came across to this messy room, looks like mine but this one is way beyond repair with lots of cobwebs and dust and trash but loads of cool stuff....but one thing caught my eye, the unicycle, the spanking chrome just shined thru the rubble of trash.... i took it and end up doing the unbelievable, i can unicycle....then out of nowhere my family was there then one of them warned me riding a unicycle is dangerous....HAhahahhah..ouh one thing weird bout the unicycle, the seat's wooden.

farnie right? well, why the dream i think bcos of the video and bcos i yearned to skate its been 2 weeks now and probably bcos ive always wanted a unicycle.....and bcos QTs toilet can get real filthy at times....the residents there who uses the loos are no better than untrained dogs....we should remove the toilet and let them hold their bladders till they get home...its not only about aiming, even the used toilet papers are thrown all over the place....its either they are grown up retards or dogs in human's skin...

adios dude, gonna make meself a bowl of oatmeal......im hungry.....

i am here for me...

splendid week indeed...the army never called...phew....settled most of my stuff at work.
my pc running well, souped up with an extra 40GB, BenQ CDR, an extra fan, Video card all from my old pc....and im proud to say i did it myself!

usual day at work.....irritating customers, demanding customers, crazy customers...haiz weekends, u get to see all kinds of ppl.....

nuthin much to write...mebbe cos i talked it off with a fren of mine...hehehe... but anyways life's cool and im lovin it, except when am i going to get a reply from IMH or SGH?

gnite peepz....gonna race aftr i watch rodney do sick tricks on his board....adios..

finally

a new pc, it burnt a fairly medium sized hole in my pocket but its better than getting one from those bloodsucking company who earned about 20% of interest each year out of dumb ppl who fell for their trap and me, im not one of them, cos mentally i calculated how much would my pc cost at the end of the day.......

i just realised one thing, i cant do without a pc, am i a freak or am i just addicted? nah i guess its just a way of occupying my time when im at home and id miss reading blogs, blasting my fav mp3s and of course the wonderful msn, where i meet ppl that i cant meet everyday in person.....its cool n its been a part of my life...

2nd day of the new spankin diy pc.....read shahreil's n muliani's blog......i tell u peepz, if their blog were to go public i guess ud enjoy reading them too. well, shahreil havent updated his blog yet... muliani good luck on that job application.....and no, i wasnt having a headache tt day with u girls....its just tt at times i felt left out....generation gap ar...hehehe...ouh now then i realised wearing a cap makes me look older....but hey i dun comb my hair....serious...my fingers are my comb......so sometimes it gets messy, tts why the cap and tts why i prefer my shoulder length hair...cos even though it gets messy, i felt comfortable....i dunno why... but with shorthair i tend to worry if id look like a dork or sumthin.....

anyways, thnk god, the army did not recall us this week...if not id have to drag my lazy ass to macpherson, our mob center....thnk god.....oh if they'd call, pls call tumoro cos at least id get to take time off work..hehehe...

muliani finally agreed to help out in the stock take, thnk u auntie nancy...hehehe
i could always use some extra help....anyway thnks muliani uve been wonderful...if not id not be able to even write this blog cos i wouldnt have windows...hehehe.....and ouh the stock take, thanks a million....a movie next week aight? my treat....

my fren asked me for the book i borrowed, narnia....gosh i havent finish reading it cos im preoccupied with so many other things....anyways u can have it, cos its been collecting dust for weeks anyways....ive only read 3 chapters...hehehehe....

whaoh this entry i guess is the longest.....anyways im still anxious over how i fare for the 2 interviews....when are they gonna bring me the good news.....i cant wait... well like many i dun have much choice...if given a choice, if i have the time and money to spare, ive always wanted to be a cartoonist......be it digital or on paper.....ive discovered this during the english project back in secondary 2 where i created a comic book with azmi.....it was entitled 'Askme vs Dr.Cdiq' vbut in SG in order to survive u need money, so tts my first priority money thru a stable profession. maybe i could use my interest to cheer up patients and ....nurses...hehehehe... anyways my doodlings had left its mark at different places.....the noisesingapore website, volcom's website, the walls at the skatepark, the cartons at my workplace, hehehehe so peepz at work tt doodlings were done by me...hehehe...

until then, cya......wanna add on my old hard-disk to my new one....foooohooo....

haiz.....

stagnant...progression is slow cmmon gimme the answer, well im hoping i get in sgh...
2 years of sacrifice to a life-long career, ive made the decision and theres no turning back.

last week, raimie, eizhar were just talking bout future and how our age catches up, raimie being the lucky one, he signe up with one of the uniform groups back in ns where up till now he have a stable career but one thing he regret, he never saved back then, its only a couple of years back that he started....well, its the same with me...wen i left ns i was working, hard but spending hard as well....and i was dumb to do so... cos it got me nowhere and hmm i dunno wat else 2 say, it was 2years odd of splurging, spending like nobody's business until i guess 2005 i got my mind straight i gotta get a hold of myself, so i started but still the saved cash had to go to my debts when i was jobless, tts my caramella my bike, my only love since late 2004. im glad now i paid off all of it and in fact i got another bike cos i sayang so much caramella that i cant bear to ride her everyday and actually its slow for going to work and all la...heee..

now im more firm with decision making.....if ive decided id stick with it...and theres always a back up plan....like i have to sell caramella for various reasons but if say when it comes to the time tt i have to renew my insurance and still there's no buyers, id opt to uplay it and probably keep it in my room, or at pen's place...and about nursing, its a stable career ive opted for, theres no turning back if i got accepted but im unsuccessful, i guess id keep looking for other routes....... age is catching up, theres no turning back....ive wasted a total of almost 3years and im not going to let that happen again.....no way....

this day, my cuzzen, muhaled is getting engaged...congrats bro....he was the closest cousin ive ever had.....but we drifted since ns times....anyways congrats....

sigh, work soon...sometimes my current job is a drag but sometimes its ok and i kinda enjoy it....but i want a job whereby i look forward to everyday and of course the possibility of promotions...

until then gtg guys...cya peepz ard....

splendid

i was lucky, alhamdullilah....god let me save 100bucks of my much needed hp....my trade in wasnt possible if shahril's fren syed wasnt working there....cos my hp was trashed, but he made it possible......so i saved a whopping 100bucks on top of the 50bucks voucher i oredi got.......i just got an average phone...my budget was below 200...and i very well stick to it, i only needed to fork out 148....love my new phone, wanted to get v3 actually but syed told me sony is much more worth the buy...

watched gubra yest with the the crazy colleague of mine.....i love the show, worth every single cent i spent.......ive yet to watched sepet but gubra was already a good one, so later on, im gonna watch sepet on dvd......i hate orked's husband, he's the piece of meat, the dirt, the stupid one...he had such a wonderful wife and he had to round fuck around.......anyway watch it urself to find out more...teehee....

ouh i gotta get my iu unit working, if not everytime i wanna go town i have to park my bike somewhere n take a train or bus........or mebbe next time ill just go public...

and i so want to do better this friday....cos i want to be at sgh more.....for many reasons....

until then cya, gotta iron my uniforms.....and ouh i got 2 free movie passes from my training yest! cool....gonna watch the DORM soon....

the mind is a terrible thing to waste

like the phrase i heard umpteen times, ppl wont call u ________(fill in the blank) if u kept ur mouth shut. aw shit, my blog is supposed to be a happy2-joy2 thingy...but nvm.

i have many reasons for my actions....and i can not say it out.....but i hate it when baseless accusations are made.....dumbfuck....find out, ask before u accuse someone, well i did but u lied until i found out the truth...anyways fuck it, but to the kaypoh mak nenek who decided to tell every fuckshit wats happening congrats you've conveyed the message efficiently and at the same time piss the hell off me......

anyways back to my ol' beautifool, recovering life.....yest, adil & adisam, my new found skate buddies....we, the old 'birds' started skating again...and it was hell lot of fun and definitely cheaper than a movie or shopping....and fuck yeah i can add more tricks to my blackbook.....i tore my volcom jeans....wat a waste but ill have it sewn back.....

im listening to more ol skool hardcore-hip-hop nowadays, i dunno why but its like music that drive me to skate....well actually slayer has the same effect too...so yeah listen to SLAYER....hehehe.......oh god i cant wait for the next skate day...

GOOD NEWS FOR TODAY-----i got an interview come friday with SGH....fooohoo....great place to be working at, my auntie is the nurse-manager there, my fren ruyani is at a nurse at one of the clinic there and my cousin qistina is working there too.... yeah yeah id love to work there with all the ppl i know around me.....insyaAllah....ill get to work with SGH....cant wait....

skool starts, income low, i need a part-time job to make up so tt i can continue contributing to my family.....

anyways adisam n adil.....keep the faith dudes.....skate or die.....fridae amcams kalau date lu cancel kiter skate....ok la see ya guys.....iamvicious relives...

i cant wait for sunday

bless me on thursday, let saturday pass with a breeze and let sunday come sooner...

thursday---> MAJOR INTERVIEW FOLLOWED BY MOVIE DATE
saturday---> MOBILISATION(ARMY SUCK)
sunday-----> SKATE DAY WITH ADIL N ADISAM

but for now, im getting ready for SOCCER!....boys will be boys....

black, wait up, im sure gonna pick up racing(RC) again....once i got nuff cash... miss those days we thrash the carpet tracks with our fully mod 1:27 scale sports cars.....

i love my hair now ....... i flick it to the other side, instead of my parting on the right, i change to left....kinda cool...heee....experiment...its healthy...

i had a 'hot' dream last night....why must it always be mysterious...hehehehe damn!...

ok guys gotta go....the boy in the ballack jersey is going to rip those posts tonight!

the sore thighs

thursday night, i ran for about 3km, breathless i still managed to come back in a piece...friday night after the movie we were aimless, so jalan2 all the way from marina to suntec to bugis to arab street...yest i started skating.....TODAY my thighs are sore...damn.....worn out....

new hobby means less time wasted, i got a feeling id be single for at least another 4-5 years...hehehe....but hey at least i have fun....at least i got plans for the future..

anyway NI, thnks for fridae....if not i guess i wouldnt be watching fd3....cos everyone in my list have watched it just cos i had to work late last week...damn...anyways it was gory macam ala-happy tree frens.....

i had to do some appraisals for my staff which would determine their annual increment, i recommended all to get that....wouldnt u love it to have me as ure superior?...hehe
anyway its not my money....if they were to question me to justify the increment, the reply i already prepared....

i so wanna skate again today....dz why no reply dah ......my foot is itchin....damn

d greatest exercise machine

i invented in wat i think the greatest exercise(cardio) 'machine' ever invented....the skateboard....its fun, it makes u sweat, builds up ur courage and increase ur heart rate to a healthy level....my thighs already feelin tight...aww.....

i look like an idiot anyways, so old amongst the kids at go-sport probably the oldest skateshop in sg....anyways, i feel good, progressions pretty fast and i hope it dont stop there, being mature does help u mentally...though the fear is still there and i twisted my knee trying to pull a pop shove it...damn...heee...its fun, ppl out there join in the fun....i already did...

close shave

capricons are stubborn ppl.....it was a close shave last night back from alif, where i pop my boba across the hump, i landed slanted...damn itchy me....hehehehe...

anyways, shahreil, my previous entry was jus about my DREAM.....and ouh im not sombong, i had to iron my uniforms just now, cos i woke up a little late today and have to rush alot of things...

i wanted to write bout sumthin last nite but was too sleepy....anyway i gained weight, cos im lazy to run again...ive skipped running for 3 whole weeks now....suppose to run at least once a week....but now i guess once a month.....i just hope i dun balloon to wat i was before...but hey i can still fit in my my 32inch berms, so i guess its fine..

i need(want) a new handphone.....soon, soon....

i will have to part with my locks soon....sigh....

today i recieve an sms tt put a smile, mile wide even though i had to work late, it reads " good night sid, my dearest fren...." i only wished the last word wasnt 'fren'
hehehehe but good nuff...in life u have to learn to be satisfied sometimes..

ive been listening to black sabbath these few days.....i wish i had a band whom i can jam with.....oh dizzy started skating again....n im pumped to skate again....it was how i occupied myself a couple of years ago, when 'disaster' was just a smell away.. but optimistic capricon refuse to smell the stench of it...hehehe....i think only i know what im talking bout...hehehehhe...anyways, the next 'rubbish' im gonna buy is a skateboard.....n yeah i will skate......n yeah i will try pull tt 50-50 clean.....
soon.....soon....

gnite peeps...n my dearest fren(s)......:)

i think its true after all

hmmm im beginning to think im not paranoid after all, i see ppl avoiding me...its true, ive been deleted of frens list somehow from the ppl i know, not those whom i knew online only....i do not know if its done delibrately or by mistake....sigh, lets just forget bout it cos i know i still have my wonderful frens still ard me by my side, well unless they too get sick n tired of me....

many was pleased with the bbq, and some even thought of having a 'sequel' to it...zul suggested a chalet, i tot a picnic would be great and many want tt kind of chillin session again...but probably more organized n prepared....

i hope money does comes in cos i wanna 'soup' up boba....and if i do get back to school n graduate with a rewarding career, i want to look for a race buddy, buy a nuovo and race it on weekends....i want live my dreams....i told tt to ppl close to me before, theres a couple of things left to do and one of them is racing....legally of course...
oh n i always wanted to try jump off a ramp or sumthin on a motorbike....crazy huh?.. but hey its a fantasy....

dreadlocks, ive always wanted to do that but sigh im almost there keeping the length but i have to sacrifice tt for my future sake....

i had a weird dream on monday, i had a family of my own....but i have no driving license so my family had to tumpang ridzman to dunno where...teehee...and ouh i didnt get to see my 'wife''s face...but i think she's someone i knew...anyway its just a dream....gnite peepz....

work

work will start again, i cant wait for the switch....
im addictive, addicted, to many things superficial and real.....
i need that chin up bars, the only place i do chin ups is at my workplace where i hung to those metal shelvings...oh ive broken the zero again....
im still wondering how id look in white n black shoes....
i still got a strong feeling bad things abt me is being spread about in this wonderful sg...
i am still the same paranoid me....
i chose to waste my offday away......the lazy bug is in me again....
im loving comedies and love stories more....
im thinking of ways to chop my hair....im vain...
i feel the bulge as im typing away, im fat...
im not sleepy cos i slept too much...
im not hungry cos i ate too much....
im sneezy cos i stopped vitamin c.....

wandi's bike is a superb noise emitting machine it sounded just like those xr4s, im considering still that powerfilter n performance pipe...believe me, id pop again...
tee heee....

here are my most current wants.....if u won a lottery buy me one of the followings..:

a sound system for my ps2/mp3, so i can blast them while i race
tt wireless ps2 controller
a flat screen monitor cum teevee
a new pc
tt recliner from ikea, to go with all of the above
a chin up bar, an ez bar and more weights
tt motard arai helmet
a gpr or leo vince
a malossi power filter, torque driver plus performance rollers
tt 'lost' wallet
some nice leather shoes for my interview
a new haircut...
a new pair of glasses

well i guess tts about it for now......gnite peeps, :)

a simple occassion

ok i was excited for tt but then 2 person pulled out...disappointed but hey they have every right to change their mind even if its at the last minute....then another couple buih...hehehe but its ok...they claimed they are shy but dun la keep on asking where is it n stuff cam as though ure eager to join also....

anyways it was fun and simple and fynda's mi briyani was superb, i had 3 helpings...and loads of honey chix.....the night was simple, chit-chat, laughs, u know the normal chill out session except with the additional food and games...hehehe....we played uno, damn old school...and shared tips on our obsession the gilera.....the bbq was simple but i guess it was really a good one cos it bonded us together.....i think we all got closer...to think tt all of us have our own lives, rotating shift works, planning for marriage, bz schedule, etc....but we made an effort to make time just for this, a simple outing....we could do better next time, probably a radio would be nice and aidil's sisha too...heee...

hmm todae, most prob will be watching Final destination with my gilly buddies... most prob...oh before that wanna watch my old time vespa fren's yazid performance at takashimaya....

24/7 now im thinking about nursing, itll be a great change and id love to go back to school...i know ill have a whale of time and lots more headaches but a brighter future ahead...

one step closer

im one step closer to becoming a male nurse, if i get thru 9th of march i can foresee my life for the next few years already...wish me luck frens....

dumb creatures?

dis is what i learnt, first hand real life experience....girls are either super cunning and a great liar or they can be extremely dumb.

scenario one, a fren of mine was flashing a foto of herself n her new bf....well ok la, id b proud too if i had someone...but hey tt guy looks familiar and true enuff it was him, after a short conversation we found out tt he's a predator, who hunts for girls at the usual lame site anak melayu...believe me lepak sak how a girl can actually hook up with these fakes...ive been there out of curiousity and hell, i didnt like it...its(the website) like an electronic pimp....although it did help me reunite with my poly frens whom i lost contact long time ago....back to the story....so okay she found out who he was, she continued seeing him, well tts fine, it has got nothing to do with me and its ur choice n life anyways....but then just now she was pissed at him cos she learnt he had another woman and indeed gave another stupid excuse, "oh its jus a plot to see if ure jealous and if u really love me..." hehehe crap.....and guess wat she told me, sid, i dunno la but i love him....i choose to believe him than the girl......hehe well ur choice....i can just smile...

scenario 2, the extremely cunning and a great liar....hmmm need i tell u meh? jus the other way round lor......and naive guys tend to be the victims lor...thinking tt she loves him, cos she cries crocodile tears and her hugs made him feel the warmth of love...hehehehe

enuff of the L-O-V-E shit....i dun believe it until i found one, a real one for now, i guess its crap, even those lovers can cheat each other and guess wat knowingly....
so i dun see a point, might as well be a swinger......i even have frens who fell in 'love' with a married man probably old enough to be her father.....and believe me i use to think she was hot until now....theres too many living example tt 80% of love stories are actually fakes.....only probably 10% are real and the 10% are just there to exist, get wat i mean?

-----------------------------------------------------
todae,
went to go-sport wif ma bb bud, shahreil....brings back memories of those skateboarding years....those times wen we stink as hell and shred costly shoes like nobodies business, it was cool back then, no worries, no nothing, save up for complete set, and skate till we are dead tired....running away from cops and residents who got annoyed with the noise...the memories made me wanna skate again... probably itll provide an escape from the adult life now.....id love to do that big spin again, that fakie ollie, etc...but then again like tt auntie said, remember uve put on weight...hehehehe

soccer was a little boring todae....i dunno why but having strangers in ur team sure took away the fun and excitement...
alif---i was still paranoid over yest incident, i kept looking if any pig was coming.
i went home still hungry, grabbed tt grapefruit juice i bought and poured a full cup, it was horrible cos its raw and no sugar added....uggghhh....then i added the drink i got the other day...hmm better...but makin me drowsy..heheheh....ooops

friday....
the bbq im looking forward to, i hope itll be fun...just chill out, eat some unhealthy food, no wait, i bet itll be fun....vespa frens gone, now gilera frens...
too bad the vespa ppls' passion didnt last....and i was left alone.....

okla until then peeps, ive wrote long enough.....cya ard peeps

sigh

there am i, after my prata, enjoying my teh o halia.......when suddenly..."tp!, tp! saman...sapa tak sayang duit tinggalkan kereta....!" i was wtf.....went to my bike, try to move it as quick as possible but the fucken pig in white is already taking down everyones vehicle number....bloody pig!.....we're moving off already wont u give us some face...mutha fucka.....ok, so my 70bucks will make up ur pay, i hope u bloat with the money u use to buy food, feed ur family and so on....at least give us some grace but u muthafuck decide to take down the numbers, if i do get any summons from tp, ill curse u down 7 generations(ceh macam cerita langkawi jer) mutha fucka, u must be having ur pms tt u have to take down the number...

enough...now i only pray tt he never did get a chance to take down mine....i hope so, 70 bucks i can do alot with it...pay bills, season parking, etc....fuckyall pigs... asswipes...

MONDAY(N)

eat alot, slack alot, fart alot, listened to rock alot, suddenly i feel 512mb is not sufficient, humans, never satisfied with what they have, thats why they left to hunt for better or worse have both or more at the same time, i wanted a bigger space mp3 but i dun think its necessary, might as well delete the songs ive been listening to for like 3 months and put in the ol skool rock im so into todae i dunno why. black sabbath, acdc,jimi, ozzy all suddenly sounded so sweet.....sweet leaf, i love ya...hehehe...

had a fun day......coolness....i wait for another day of fun...

heres this years goal....abit too late but better than neva....
since we are going to get some money from the big G, id like to make use of it to obtain class 3, my aim to bring round mom n the 2 younger ones round during hari raya..
and of course the class 3 aids me in my future......really...my other goal to save up at least 5k tis year if i dun get to study nursing....i dunno if its ambitious but tts my target.....id do my best, its better if i go way beyond it....

my vision, still, to live my dream no matter how long it takes, i wanna be my own boss....mebbe not now, mebbe not in the next 10 or 20years.....but the dream still carries on....

boy, good luck for tt biathlon....shahreil go get tt gilly....mankey dun waste anymore money, start saving up, wanna see u n lin settle down like shahreil n yakti..

watever it is, i wish the best for my frens....cos they were there for me when i was left alone....thnks dudes.....

helloween playing future world now.....gnite peepz.....gotta catch some sleep.

why

up till today, some things are still unexplainable....

im sorri razi, i have to disappoint u with the word no, i want that pipe but i guess id put my money to better use....how bout class 2 or class 3?

im gonna miss my hair in may...i have to snip it off for reservist.......suck right....

its that time wen i feel so lazy....my ass so heavy, and gravity pulling my eyes...

its tt time when i wonder wats wrong with me......

pls i want tt fonecall from either one, moe or wda...pls la..pls....

summary of the many days

emotional, materialistic, lusty on monday.....
i had a 'fling' well u can call it that....
i indulged in so unneccessary stuffs that made me happy while it last...
i spend, finally.....
im going to spend again...
im not so bad, so vicious, so evil after all
i am growing, oh no....not again...
i worked my ass off to keep that from happening...
im becoming more and more of a money making idiot and yet im spending more....it doesnt fit, id like to have more money but i end up spending...
i can get egoistic at times...
oh shit its becoming more like a profile on frenster...well its not
im beginning to think writing in fragments suck.
i bought 2 new games, nfsmw black list & def jam fight, i wish i was like my character in defjam fight so i can whoop those asses without a problem.
im listening to peterpan again, its making me hummm and its makin me emotional at times.
im weak, im a freak, so go fuck off....
i lost again at obtaining another....i screwed up....i shouldnt have...
my boss pisses me off, i just told him off and i have just put my job on the line..
he's such an asshole, he dunno wat he's talking and he thinks my job is so fuckin simple, mebbe cos im fat?
sega wants me to write a review for their latest game but i guess they wont let me have a free play of the game, so sorry, i cant do it then...
if i get to be a teacher, ill be the coolest one, well at least in sg....
if i get to be a nurse, ill get those broken legs dancing and those broken arms boxing.
im a believer, im a capricon, i believe in myself...
the chants at my void deck is driving me crazy...
i dun care anymore, im going to do wat i want and i dun give a fuck wat u say.... cos ure nobody to be saying anythin bout me...
im tired, yet i want to play soccer....
i dont want to worry and im not(well thats a lie)...
i dont lie, u do...idiot
i want to cheat and get the feel of it but im single now, im dangerous and an idiot to be writing this in public but then again like i said, i dont lie..
i envy other ppl alot...but i know i have my own life...
im not a walking time bomb, im calm and mellow, i scream six feet under.
last but not least, you n You n you SUCK.....u pissed off great deal..

late

such an idiot, im late n i missed 1 chance....nvr mind...still plenty more, cmmon sid buck up....

was at the usual kopi session with ma pals....talking bout the cost of a wedding... it scares me alright.....25K ouh...yeah tts right 25K estimated......im not getting married soon alright tts for sure.....even if i put aside 1k per mth, ttll take at least 2 years....

i think if i found someone, id just do the basic, no grand lavish wedding, unless insyah'allah i get a job tt earns me more than 2k......but for now id think minimal.
i understand its a once in alife time thingy....but if u cant afford it why kill urself. like shahreil's nick, if u work for a living why kill urself working....
but im lucky im single now....at least i got time to save, to plan, etc and wats best for me....i can at least do wats best for me...

wats important is i do well in life...tts all i want now...

gnite peepz

choices

o levels, b3 for english, b3 for malay, distinction for malay oral, the rest dont ask, cos i never study....but an improvement by 3 grades in my languages means i stand a better chance for a place in NIE.....and probably the accelerated 2 year dip in nursing at nyp.....wish me luck brudders.....i can see clearly that the rain is gone....