im poisoned by the lomo bug, i spent US$185(after a discount of US$15) on a classic refurbished camera....hurhurhurhur....these LCA takes great fotos....im stuck on films.
im awaiting patiently for my new love to arrive next week and im putting up my colorsplash camera for auction on yahoo.
im poisoned by the lomo bug
confused beings
sigh.....make up ur mind will u? im not the replacement onli, i dont like being on the bench only to be called upon when a player is out of play. i want to be in the main field if u know what i mean, im not some substitute and im not going to be one so make up your mind am i some substitute or the main role player? oh wells....
22nd December got chalet, wonder going or not....i want to follow leo to bali...sob sob but a little too last minute...even if i want i dont think i can......hmmm going jakarta or not....sigh....hmmm looks like no sunrise for the moment....the moons fine, more skating trips please.....ouh speaking of which im glad that adil likes the board..
wen is my sore feet healing.....i wanna skate, skate, skate... well i enjoy skating honest....one thing about what i write on my blog is, its no phony, its all real, what comes to mind....
bought 10 rolls of slides over lomo site...cos got free shipping la...btw haiqal's "lomo-home" was featured as home of the month, he got 50bucks and spent it on an accessories, so he, aisyah(our cousin) and myself combine amounting up to more than USD200 spent which equals to free shipping...whoops....aiysah got herself a fe2.. coolness....and i cant wait to x-pro my rolls...soon itll be up online...for viewing..
next saving up for a dslr.....weee.....trigger happy fucker i am.....
gonna give myself a treat....after the next pay day...gonna buy something huge... havent decide yet...we'll see....
faridah aka kakpa is checking out with her fren for me if he got great deals on psp, fathih is one lucky fellow if the price is right....well see...
im begining to like working in a general ward....might consider transferring to ttsh.
so much things to write so much things to talk about...but hey thats nuff...adios...
haiz...
apparently when u have trashed an old item in the bin, u quickly look for replacements.
ouh dont get me wrong, apparently when one day i stopped riding my runner, i wonder if i will ride another bike....
tired, shagged out at work....but hey who's complaining it was fun at work...and lina, haiz lovable ar she....klakar....macam stress like that she today....and i think im enjoying taking cases....and thru wai-man and suhaila i found out some ppl just utter bullshit, where got such crap......cant be that they all lied right...anyways fuck it la, who cares.....i have to take care of myself now...funds running low, frens running out cos now most got family oredi....so have to do with the single ones left...
yest went out with adil, watched heartbreak kid, remind me of myself sia but the only thing is i never got married la....its true la, its when u spend sometime together then u find out each others true self....i think right my 2nd relationship was the only one that from the beginning we were more or less our trueself, only towards the end of almost 3 long years we changed, i must say bcos of external parties...we never put up an act from day 1 and i like that cos i never do or can behave in an utterly different manner from myself, i just dont know how to...perhaps id be a little shy
i think i might have overspent a little this month but hey retail therapy was good, especially when i got myself cool toys like lomo cameras...have been having fun shooting away, trigger happy like fuck....soon i will get the rolls processed....
ouh i saw giant's foto....his change....im pretty amazed and psyched to try myself, see la how...
the weather is pretty uncool this few days...i wonder when can i skate again but on second thought, its good so i can recover first while waiting for the weather to be better...speaking of the weather the cards of my action figures got soaked a little, luckily i have no real intentions to sell the troopers...phew....
okla dunno wat else to write....ill leave each day goes as it is from now, no point stressing myself.....im not going to put in effort....if they really want to, they put in effort, im tired.....
the internet...
with the internet, listening to various genres is just a click away....
at times i listen to different2 genres....some i never tot, would be 'music' to my ears. my latest craze is this drum n bass group, artificial intelligence, somehow, they do entertain me. enjoy. not for the faint hearted, rude loud drum loops.
yest was a chill out session at my place with my cuzzen, watched "The Ex" on DVD, hilarious, farnie, very, pigged out on indian food, followed by 2 rounds of seesha and kiwi sundaes.....then soccer on ps2....was a simple night but fun....
i think, some things are just hard to change and habits are especially hard to kick. im guilty too. and some things change over night, really...its amazing how the world operates, or should i say human beings?
supposed to go to 2 weddings...but its been raining....this is what drives me to get a car...soon, soon, ill be able to go out in even heavy rain like this.... i enjoy biking still but not in this weather.....next year, just next year what i want will be realised, insyahAllah...
btw congrats raimie n yati, n my cuzze hafidz n wife.
balls
just completed my 30 meds....balls ar 2 saturdays i have to work to replace my 2day mc.... nevermind...at least its all in am shift...
false alarm.
fucken dr alarmed me for awhile...he takes a look at my swollen right foot, write something and goes.."u go level 2 for an x-ray ok?", i replied "is it necessary?". "ya, just want to make sure there's nothing serious because its swelling." so i went up with the chit he handed me, then at the x-ray department another chit was given and it says suspected fracture....my heart stopped....wtf if its a fracture ill be on long mc and means i have to replace 2weeks of clinicals...was praying hard its not a fracture cos ive experienced a fracture before, its much worse, was at my big toe, it was swelling fucken huge, bigger than this one... then the results came out....no fractures...fucken relieved, fucken relieved boy....then the doctor said "ok good, no fractures, ill give u painkillers and 3days mc..." if i were working already id be jumping for joy but because this is attachments if i take 3days mc in a row in a week, id have to replace a full week....so i told the doctor, "can i just have 2 days, i got something important of friday". he smiled and said ok. so here am i at home rotting with an elastic bandage over my right foot, i hope to be well by tumoro and get back to work on friday....more range of motion exercises now...
ouh im not quiting skating...by next week ill be pulling off ollies, flips and shove it .. heh!
ouch
swollen metatarsals...its not really my ankle, its the top of the foot, same ol injury. swollen as fuck, no wonder i cant take off my shoe.....today skating was a little upsetting....i cant land simple tricks and i injure myself....but im no quitter, once the pain is gone, ill be rolling again on abec7s.....although im a lousy skater, i still love skateboarding.....its called passion...
love strucked
haw par villa lomo-ed
mankey lomo-ed
im in love....with film...
lomo-ed.....heh
thnks shahreil for the kuta shirt.....god i miss bali....heh...miss surfing though im pretty lousy at it...
weeehooo
new toy....i think this is the last for NOW...hehehe actually i bought 2 items, the fisheye2 and colorsplash!
probably next month then i get the polaroid....meanwhile saving up for dslr and going to register for class3, will stop procrastinating....heheh......
disappointed...skating cancelled because of football??!! hmmfffttt....
im undergoing mental pressure....i want it to go away...i dont want any nightmares. go away please. get out of my head. no, im not crazy, im sound thats why im experiencing all that.
i need more frens, i need to skate...
for sale
weehoo....all off to sheikh's store...boards n stuff at far east...only 3 pieces but ok la....for a start.
my toys, tumoro 1 more comes in...
fisheye2 on the way
frog eye, frog eye....wibbit
weeehoooo frog eye 2!......
weeeehooo 52bucks fly away....
weeeehooo 3 of my hallucinate tees on sale at far east.....
jalan2....went to collect my frogeye2....its an underwater camera....then i went down to far east to hand over the tees to him for sale.....then i jalan2....all over... at pacific plaza, i think i saw omel....my ol flame....im not sure...she also never tegur so be it la....looks like her though....once i lover her lots...but too bad...takda jodoh la kata nenek2....hehehe
lotsa nice shoes...but i resist my hand to reach my back pocket....so the damn tempting
i went a couple of skate shops looking at shoes....made my way to apple store...drool at gadgets and bags....timbuk2, nice but not my style...then sped to queensway, shoes, shoes, shoes.......nice....but resisted....the nikes were ubber delicious...feel like buying the zoom tre....then i head down to go-sport...saw this nice green-es accel.. slurp2...might get that...
wanted to head home but still itching to look around...so i zoomed down to IMM... this time watches made me drool....the dkny watch sure look yummy....but i was eyeing the levis, no not those kids wear one...the metal2 one macam nice.....then look at dslrs at best denki....hmmmm....haiqal certainly influenced me...u slut...
then i shopped for new tap.....went bukit batok...met up with fathih n mommy dearest.. kidnap some tools and head to teck whye.....solat(pray) before fixing the tap....jesse said...uve done so many things to this house...hehehe...kembang gue.. but still im not satisfied cos i cant change the point-tap cos the main one cant be shut down....damn....
listening to bird-man's band...0ver3dge.....hardcore ol skool style rocks!...
now contemplating to go KL or not....to see Overedge and overthrown both my fren's band...hmmm aiyah hafiz getting married next week also...clash....see how la...
lavenderly lovely
purple struck me with love, i love u lavender...
lucha's ugly but human behavior can get uglier...
unconventional sid
so sorry sid is unconventional...
its a dog-eat-dog world.....
im unmainstream, i dont comb my hair, although i buy wax, i use it just to keep my hair up at work.
a scooter is my mode of transportation...
i shoot film toy cameras instead of dgs...
i go to haw par villa last weekend not clubbing, movies or anything alike...
i window-shop at sungei road...
i ride 4 wheels on a board for the fun of it....
i listen to music many say is noise...
im me, i dont need to conform.
ultimately i believe in God and theres only one...
im a not a perfect muslim but still im proud to be one...
i seriously think this entry is full of crap...
taaa....love hugs n kisses....
bubble-icious
the day summarized...
one more time kena...hahaha...last minute sms, never reply, saw online....haiz lazy ar to say anymore....watever la eh.....ure old enough.
anyways morning went airport....sent off bird's mom....i arrived early....while waiting i had hotcakes....weee...its been awhile since i had a mcD breakfast.....was satisfying
then head to sungei road.....end up buying a vintage levi's 501...woots...great steal. went city hall to meet haiqal but i was early so i went window shopping...almost bought that stussy-new era at city link...resisted...went to suntec, end up buying 2 pair of corduroys.....man, that means i have 4 cords already....woots...i dunno why but i fell in love with cords once again....the last time was in sec school...the salesgirl was very helpful n sweet....woots....i even asked for her opinion....kaler mana ar cantek? she pointed, "nie lawa!"...hehe sempat je...heheh so i bought the brown one and the grey....niceness....can use for skating as well....
met haiqal after his interview...we walked around..ouh im searching for this new skateboarding adidas line...i guess not out in sg yet....if its out, anyone pls tell me, i wanna get the shoes...mmmm....
we went window shopping before collecting loads of t-shirts that me n boy going to print on at spitfire....i bought a purple shirt...i dunno im a sucker for lavender-purple....then we went makan at kampung glam.....and the wierdest place of all we went....haw par villa....hehehe.....then the weather didnt permit us to continue our journey, drop him off at bouna vista before heading down to bb, planned ot have dinner with someone but kena buih beb...heheh....so end up at teck whye ironing clothes, clearing up stuffs, etc....watched batman begins...i love the car.. im sure it can run over any saloon car...heh....
"medic! medic!"
okla gotta sleep, tumoro is another long day for me....work, prints, run.
minimal
hallucinate kicks off as a minimalist(few pieces printed)....heh
by end this week u will see hallucinate tees at "Boards & Stuffs", a local skate-store at far east plaza. On December 9th, some of the band members of local hardcore band-"Over the Edge" will be sporting tees designed and printed by hallucinate clothings. December 19th, Chris Haslam's birthday, he will be getting a tee from hallucinate.
support ur local labels....hallucinate rocks, thanks all those involved for your support. my hobby is now turning into something else. insyahAllah. everything has a start. insyahAllah.
special thanks to Boy-20DC(for your excellent work), Sheikh(for your support), Diana(for getting chris haslam), Haiqal(for promo "I love Lomo" tees), Ratnor(for the necessary tools), Stimgam(for initial materials), all those that is involved.
thnks my skatepals for inspiration...the cathay crew...
kingdom...
watched kingdom, a little too much talking but fucken interesting....my only worry is public perception of islam....the movie might give non-muslims a wrong idea about muslims....thats all, other than that i would give 4 out of 5 popcorns....
ouh i think haiqal going to land himself a p/t job at starbucks while waiting for his O results, thanks to anne(yup i spell that right)...ouh anne, dont sell ur xr la...hehe, im tempted...but nyeh....i have class2 why buy a class2A....hehehe...but hey i love that thumper....sweet looking bike...
tumoro going out with haiqal...i dont think he's those type that last minute, "hey i dont think i going, i go with my frens..." u know that kinda person who disappoint u the last minute when u so darn look forward to it.....and then somemore make it sound like ur fault, u misinterpreted, i said MAYBE when theres not even a word beginning with M in the sms...LoL....ya u say so, so there'll be no more misinterpretation, aiyah lying and manipulating is habitual la...very hard to kick bad habits mah...heh....ouh we'll be shooting films....who cares if ppl say film cameras are outdated....we love it...so fuck yeah...heheh....
tumoro, im gonna invest on 6 t-shirts, sheikh said the "i love skateboarding" t-shirt sellable, so im going to put one of each size at his store....insyahAllah(mind me, im a muslim, LoL) and im going to design something for his december/friday skate showdown.. maybe for the winner of the competition......
and maybe, just maybe, i wanna get a pair of addidas skate shoes or a spanking new watch....its called retail therapy....just maybe...
the last option/resort
i am the last option/resort to certain people...and im so dumb to fall into their schemes...sigh....
anyways put that aside, i had a great time last night, thanks bro....especially adisam for making it possible....friday night skates are rare.....and yest was one of them....almost pull off my kickflips and halfcabs...manage to make my fakie shuvits a little more consistent though.....need practise....i wonder if sheikh is skating tonight....if he is, ill tag along....
sigh....so bored saturday....now that shahreil is married and me being single the rest work shifts and weekends....i need a new batch of single frens...heh...sms mankey out with lin....feel awkward if go out with them kalau melayu cakap, macam tiang lampu...heh...the rest, weekends is when they earn their living and some have family outings.....so here i am at bukit batok...wanna meet mom pon, mom working...
sigh, i guess ill just head back to teck whye and rot my eyes playing ps2....heh...
hope jessie or bird comes back teck whye today, at least got company....heh...can talk cock or learn more about mongolia....heh....bird gave me some advice just now. what he say is true...but at times my heart outwit my brains...thats the shitty part.
kla my eyes get tired easily.....i think ive decided, eye-surgery followed by tkr.
i cleared
i cleared my exams...not very well...but good nuff for the effort i put in....furthermore i had exams when i was shifting and facing so many problems...but hey, its over now and i cleared.....phew....
gore...
it was hell of an experience...yest i saw the surgeons cut up ppl but never really got to see up close cos my view was blocked by their assistants....
TODAY i was the scrub nurse...i double-scrub with a senior....im like the assistant to the assistant surgeon....i saw him cut up that man's finger upclose with that bard-parker blade....the finger was cut zig-zag to repair/reconstruct the lacerated tendon...fucken cool dude.....its the real thing not some gray's anatomy or some shit show like that, its real....
and yest my first code blue experience...ubber cool....
im considering after my 3year bond with IMH to apply as an OT-nurse...insyahallah...
im interested....honestly.
hehe today had conversations with my new room-mate jesse, the mongolian-muslim...cool, shes not as fierce as she seems....nice to talk with....i guess ill have a pal after all...heh...i helped her fix her wireless thingy on her laptop so she can connect to the internet...i know how it feels to be far away from home...so thats the least i could do....
the bird-man buying ben-n-jerry's tonight....me, bird n jesse will have a movie night later...i got a feeling we'll bond and become macam 1 family....insyahallah...
jesse, does solat....good...at least it drives me to be less lazy...cos the ppl im staying with all solat....it brings me closer to god.
i hope to scrub again tumoro....hopefully ill get to assist, yati's grandad's case...
yadayadayada
layankan je...hehe
fooooohoooo jng tak jadi la friday skate....woooooohoooo
hmmm still deciding between jakarta n ubin....
the thing is, if jakarta id be going alone....
otot.....serious case man...this is where what u see on teevee comes to life, minus the drama- mama.......just now got code blue....everybody kanchiong but in the end they settled everything....one life saved......hehehe
so the big girl, jessie is her name....forgot to ask, she's muslim or not...heh....
its cool that she cleared out the clothes in the wadrobe...now i got more space! yeayness.......
my home-cooked dinner.....curry-spicy sardines...heh....
lovin life
i love ol films.
i love comedies.
i love skateboarding.
i love bikes.
i love (to have) a car(& a license to drive)
i love cameras.
i love singlehood.
my new house mate looks like she could beat me up anytime.
my future looks like its getting interesting.
my figure looks like its expanding.
my dark rings looks like its lightening.
my circle of frens looks like getting smaller.
with the rain at nights and work it looks like id not be skating for sometime.
it looks like im gonna land myslef with another film camera.
looks like im going to get the diana if i have spare cash.
looks like itll be a busy weekend this week.
looks like i cant go bare-bodied n walk around in my boxers only anymore since theres a female in the house.
looks like i gonna have to sleep pretty soon.
looks like im gonna have to say goodbye to the ppl im chatting with.
looks like....bye2...
jakarta, solo?
okok....dad ask me to go back solo during my break...hmmm we'll see la kay?... dad says i put on weight....yada, yada, we talkd....me, i love listening...thats where i grasp inspiration, ideas and sorts.....my uncles, my aunties, my granmas....in my aunt's larkin house....huge house, which majority of singaporeans down here can only dream off but possible over there...dad wants me to check for him his stuffs in sg...but he forgot his ic, so mulan gonna scan it and send it to me via msn or something, so that i could use that with the authorization letter....
tired and sleepy....and halfway back to sg, cik-jo asked "diq, drive diq..." hehe too bad i have no class3...he was sleepy and he tot i had class3...heh....
met the guys a little while...tumoro i gotta help shahreil transport his bike over to tampines....tumoro is his wedding and he'll be staying at inlaws for a week....
me im looking forward to the solo-jakarta trip if it does happen....ouh solo is a place . heh.....if he's sponsoring, then ill definitely go....we'll see....heh
gnite peepz...
evolution...
dont u guys always realise, after each experience somehow u mature or certain characteristics about urself begin to change....especially when a certain experience have a great impact on your life. well i do notice....but i shant say cos i guess if ure close enough like my bb pals, they wouldve noticed....
im just looking forward to seeing my dad...
im having second thoughts about braces, cos shahreil works with the dental department in nus and he told me of the cons of braces....im considering....maybe id got tkr first or lasik.....we'll see....heh....but tkr is more important....lasik is just for comfort..
its not for vanity mind u but for comfort and the future...
my life's pretty comfortable now...less heartaches and all...im beginning to take life easier and boy working in imh helps alot.....i think im going to love working there after all....im still against ppl who have negative views regarding working there...but hey, its my choice, my life and nobody can tell me what to do...with rising depression cases, who knows ull be the one next that i attend to in imh....hurhurhurhur...
mankey got his class3 oredi....me next, me next...insyahAllah....
i will buy a 7-seater, definitely....i can see more skateboarding nights...hehe...
well thats not the only purpose.....i wanna bring my grandparents and mom & my younger siblings sight-seeing.....we'll see how if my budget works fine....heh...
daddy.....spare me some cash for my t-shirts...heh....id wanna invest in good tees and inks....heh...and probably make my own light box. heh!....and sponsor my class3 can? heh.....
kla wanna watch....heeeeeroooesss.....sapa tak suka kental, tak imaginative langsung.
dada
im meeting daddy....mr.Ali...heh...
my father will be in jb, my uncle's place....ouh he'll be an indonesian officially soon i guess...my aunt say he got something important to discuss with me about...i hope its something good...maybe bu'yanti wants me to be a part of the indonesian business or something but hey, im no longer in engineering, im in nursing lor...ouh btw my step sister is also a nurse in jakarta...heh cool...hmm looking forward to meeting u dad... miss ya lots...
anyways, i hope its something good, probably i kick off and try my hand at mini2 business sorta thing, ive always enjoyed trading....remembered the times when we sold fred perry's and stuffs and gather the money for trips....i miss travelling...heh
soon....soon...
iskandar's mommy wants me to help with the luggage when she's leaving for mecca...hehe iskandar says im like her god-son oredi....heh..thnks auntie.....ill pray for ur trip, may u have a safe trip...and hopefully comeback with haji-mabrur...is that the right way to say it? i guess so....
shahreils getting married friday....geez...if me, id be anxious by now...he seems cool bout it...i guess because hes been with yati for 8 years?
ouh thanks shahreil for heroes season 2...yipeee..and thanks bird for the 4 dvds...
and haiqal pray hard theres vacancy....heheh then u too can help me loan dvds...heh
coolness...
my thighs...feeling tight...i guess i overworked on sunday.....but hey skating was fun....no matter how good u are....
i bought something to clear something that bothers me most, dark rings below the eyes...hope it works....cos i wanna wear lenses wen im not riding...and wen ill be driving, id wanna wear lenses....see how la...
urrrggghhh frenster under maintenance....sheesh.... ok la gotta hit the sheets... nighty night...probably tumoro i wanna head back to ntuc and buy that polka dots bedsheet....i wanna paint murals on my walls....but have to ask permission first...heh.
gnite all....love all of u....
great weather
god loves me....today, the weather is so skateable....cloudy, not sunny, ample shine though and certainly no drizzles...initially, i tot 1 or 2 hours i would tire out...
i did but i sat for awhile before skating again...was great....especially after not skating for so long cos of work, ramadhan and all....i was alone...but it somehow doesnt bothers me....sorta made frens with this sarawak guy....i tot he was thai or pinoy at first.....
then salleh came...the 'fat' skater who i look up too....bcos he's fat like me but he can skate pretty good...he always have a one kinda stern look on him....but today he smiled....i hope to learn from him....so that skating will be much more fun when u land tricks...i almost land my kickflip but i felt like my legs are heavy already....next week probably ill land it....i vowed to myself, at least once a week....speaking of once a week....woots i got a jogging buddy, haiqal my cuzzen....
hmmm i can foresee a new pair of shoes coming, cos i have already started wearing off the top layer of the suede...hmmmm....fallen? neh...heavy for me...hmmm bring in circa la sheikh....i love circa...heh....maybe ill go for dvs....they are known for their lightness.....
gotta go.....experiencing itch....must me mr mosquito...eh? but im at level 7 leh....hmmm buhbye everyone.....lotsa love mr.hallucinate....heh!
cheerios
cheering oneself up is easy when u have frens and all....u know why most ppl end up with depression? its because they dont have a strong family support or frens...
speaking of which an old fren just called up if i did printing....end up chatting bout frens and all...heh....
yeayness, i now am going wireless, means i dont have to sit next to the modem, i can surf, blog almost anywhere in the house, except the toilet of course...heh....
went to help shahreil move his bed and wadrobe and all to make way for his new ones. sigh....finally they are getting married....sweet couple....
pen is back...yeayness....shes the bithchin fren since ages ago....im glad that now shes back....
hmm getting prepared for the initiation...heh....i think i will get enrolled latest next week....gotta kick start.....ill wait for results or something....then ill enrol.
hmm....im blocking myself off retail therapy...heh...so tempting when i went shopping just now....heh but i resisted good....heng....
my only wish
no more pls, no more(lies)...
and ouh i broke another promise but this time round its not my fault...ive made a promise to myself now, no more promises even if requested to do so...
wat bout urs? so i guess we're kinda even...
blog in malay
aku nak 'blog' dalam bahasa melayu yng tak pass....hehehe...
anyway, alamak terojak....haizz...rojak pon rojak la...
biasala, ngah bosan, ku menglunsur lelaman adik kawan aku, zaki...haizzz...teringing pulak ingin bermotosikal harley davidson. macam seronok gitu meronda2 keliling asia..
tapi aku mesti ingat akan matlamat aku....aku ingin dapatkan lesen kereta dan insyahAllah, impian ku untuk berkereta akan tercapai.....sementara itu cam tak dapat elak diri aku dari berangan-angan....hmm kereta mana kah akan ku beli bila ku lulus nanti? terpikir juga kereta2 yng boleh bawak hampir 7penumpang....seronokan kalau dapat bersiar ramai2....tapi minatku kereta yng kiut miut macam jazz dan swift...tapi memadangkan kesempitan kereta2 demikian, mungkin, aku kata mungkin...aku akan beli kereta yng lebih besar skit tapi yng tak mahal....aku nie bukan suka sangat kereta mewah....okok aku bohong aku suka kereta mewah tapi padaku tak praktikal langsung... aku seorang yng agak praktikal, yelah kadangkala suka juga benda2 yng berjenama, tapi hanya bila aku ada lebih....
insyahAllah.....cukup bulan nie, aku akan daftarkan nama aku ker bbdc...insyahAllah.. seblom aku mula kerja aku sudah lulus dan selepas gaji pertamaku, ingin aku beli kereta, insyaAllah kalau di izinikan...
sebagai jururawat pesakit jiwa, aku cuba mengawal perasaan aku, memanglah ada rasa kecewa, sedih dan marah semua sekali gus, tapi aku cuba berfikiran positif dan dengan rational....manalah tau ada hikmah disebalik semua ini....
kekosongan diriku aku akan isi dengan perkara2 lain dan aku rasa, aku dah cuci tangan, omputeh cakap 'give up' la....untuk aku, skarang nie aku hidup untuk masa depan aku.
engkau tidak menguasai diriku, aku berhak corak hidupku dan akulah yng berkuasa membentuk hidupku dengan izin Allah swt. Aku harap satu hari kau sedar beberapa kejam sikap kau. walaubagaimana pon, aku tak simpan dendam, tak simpan apa2, walaupon hati yng sakit ini perlu waktu untuk pulih. siddiq yng sekarang bukan yng seperti dulu, slalu marah, slalu meradang...alhamdullilah
thnks, terima kaseh
thnks frens for the outing just now...... though was tired, drained and all dunno from what but i enjoyed it....shahreil finally got his gold shirt for his wedding and i almost got that purplish pink striped shirt...ouh i bought this facial wipes, realli refreshing....but then i realised, only got 10wipes..heh....but i think ill buy again..
ended the journey with makan at cavana...omg...this is the third time im eating chick rice this week....but hey, all different....on tuesday roasted, wednesday lemon and today sambal....heh
ouh sundari's cooking was superb, except the girls oops should say boys as well cos evelyn's bf and kay's husband was there....thinks the food is a little spicy....but hey to me its nice...just right...biryani was the main one, followed by traditional indian dishes that she whipped up.....we all talked for quite sometime over school and IMH... hehe...nver really talked to the peepz before bcos most of the time all of us would be bz and once the day ends, everyone heads home...nobody hangs out...unlike wen we were younger...but hey, at least today we kinda bonded and i think kay's hubbie and evelyn's bf were ubber cool...they really can socialize....frenly ppl....
im down with headache and im drained...i think i need to rest while i dl more podcasts.
i love my frens....and i miss mom.....i think im going back bb on sat to give mom a hug and i think wen i earn enough im gonna ask mom to retire... that car license, gotta get it...gotta....xa already passed....target by next ramadhan.... so that when syawal comes, i can bring my family around....
im not going to put myself down, im strong, been thru this before, i will survive, definitely...
apa? suka2?
learn malay day....weeehoo
kau ingat aku nie apa?
u take me for what?
singapura nie kecik la...
singapore's not very big...
kalau pon aku buta, ramai yng lain tak buta...
even if im blind, many ppl around me is not...
gasak kau la...
watever la...
plans
im going to lay down my plans....gonna make a quick supper, take my pen and paper, jot down plans....for tumoro....and then in the near future, not so far la, this year only
make sure all the empty slots(off days and off duty hours) are filled with something to do, macam time-table la.....u know why, now most of my frens work shifts already not like last time, wen i can occupy my time with them....but i guess more or less i got myself occupied oredi....weeehoo...tts why my nick on msn is happy hippy.....positive thinking dude....loneliness and spare time can be used to do so many things........
and guess wat, one of my plans is to design probably graphics for my bike...and i will borrow jabrul his airbrush and if the 2 weeks of vacation permits, ill paint my bike or send in my design to the 'sticker-god' and got it pasted all over...woots....
but my worry is results coming out....errrr.....hehe....
pls dont rain tumoro, pls dun rain.....going to somerset.....concrete surfing... woots. channel all those unused energy and burn some carbs n fats...wooots.....
hehe, my fren ask me to come go sentosa play luge....but i guess ill pass cos tumoro sure got lots of bangla....hehehe...woots...enjoy the banglas those going sentosa... oops sorry dudes...that doesnt include those working...
sayonara......once someone said i could be the next jamie oliver but ive nvr cooked for a long time....but eggs, sausages or sardines still can la....gonna whip up a nice supper for myself....oishi!...
boredom
boredom sets in...
i think ill join the guys tonight if work doesnt tire me out...nothing to do anyways...could start printing but hey no tees yet....
i dunno, i dunno, i dunno.....i guess, little things interest me at the moment. and i guess im no longer interesting...
my life might be pathetic but im not...im still striving and trying...
have many dreams....sweet dreams....ive been a daydreamer since young, even was written in my report book....only thing is how i wished i dreamt of reality rather than being in stunts, a race car driver and all that when i was young...if i were to dream of being a business man or something...probably now id be somewhere....my dreams when i was in primary school was too colourful, so colourful that u cant find the right colours to paint it real...hahahah
shahreil's getting married soon and poor me cant attend his 'nikah' or solemnization. sigh, why must i be on pm shift that day....
i think, i need to buy some tees to occupy me or buy books to read, the dvds at home, i just dont feel like watching yet....and hellboy was kinda turn off...or maybe its just me, not in the right of mind.
gotta go, get ready for work....after reading these jokes my fren sent me....heh!
1st day, 1st month
the 1st day of clinical placement at my future workplace....haiya late by 5mins, the gate refused to open and i exit at the wrong exit....and the traffic lights weren't forgiving....red after red after red.......the reason i woke too early, i slept again and i got a little late and plus it was raining but nice rain, just drizzles...
the nyp ci was cool...mr buddy tan...yes thats his name....hes a nice guy, his conversation would go between mix of malay and english....my guess he is baba.... buddy used to work at imh too....and he inspires me....well...sort off....im looking forward to actually be working there....soon....next july.....
speaking of which i already had plans...but i shall not note down here...cos im afraid the plan never came to 'life' but cut things short la...i wanna drive my family around, i wanna travel during my birthday next year....ooops ive let the cat out of the bag...
anyways....things change and yes ppl definitely change...over the couple of years, i changed too.....i was jus wondering if given my current state put back in time few years back when i was in skool or something how would it turn out? hehe...anyways speaking of which i just wished things didnt change from how it were abt a month ago... i was floating back then on cloud nine....everything were so sweet, even me being happy made mommy smile...
aiyah, mebbe she's right, im too sensitive...heh....but my heartaches are they real?
anyways good news, i got my digital line activated...yippeeee....hmm gotta find a chatter box fren...hurhurhur.....
to end this entry....words will be words but how do u show ur feelings? via words or actions, so here are the words that made up the usual phrase that probably u have seen repeatedly but hey what the heck...."annie, miss u, love u......"
long sunday
okla intend to skate in the morning but it was super hot...so didnt go la and shaun didnt reply anyways....
went to bukit batok....haiz pc problem, i guess got virus...and guys becareful lor recently like got virus infestation on my bt batok pc and somehow cannot access annie's blog that day, she also cannot, shahreil also cannot...., myself also cannot...but somehow her best fren can...heheh weird but true...*wink
anyways...didnt expect to go out la...but adil said already wanted to look for berms.. so end up going out with him at 3pm to town....makan at beach road, jalan2 town... end of the day he bought a bag and helmet for work....ouh met mimi in town also...he was doing something to skateboard......so he joined us before meeting bad...haizz i miss skating...ended the day makaning at hbb before heading home....gnite peepz...
help
i think right, this time round i really need help...no i mean guidance...nope im still sane mind u....
enlightenment....
ouh bro, i guess i pass la...ill watch the dvds i rented(free) eheheh thnks iskandar.
or maybe id still go...haiz depends la....
im not in the right of mind....and nobody's offering me help or comfort....i still im not yet independent...hurhurhur....
ntah
many things running thru my mind....yes it might seem minor but its bcos one thing leads to another....its very hard for me to trust ppl....especially wen in my life, ppl i trusted has taken my trust for granted....my best fren in sec school actually stabbed my back....and then so on and so on, i shall not mention cos the rest is rather unpleasant.
yes u might say i overeact but wen i put trust in someone, it means alot bcos for me, trusting someone is really difficult bcos of my past experience, till now even amongst my circle of frens....i trust the few that is closer to me only...the rest, id rather keep things to myself....cos i know itll spill or leak or sumthin like that....and i know some do talk behind my back....
i shant continue i hope he/she understands...its bcos its not the first time, tts why im really affected by it...
i dunno la im tired yet i dont feel sleepy....u know wat i feel like doing now? skate..
just channel the negativity out....
alisha putri(forgot her middle name) was ubber cute...the almost 2year old really got me smiling, laughing and observing at her antics....alisha u cheered me up today u know...and of course the guys la.....unknowingly u guys made me feel a little better.
i just took papers on behavioral modifications and abnormal psychology....maybe i should apply wat ive learnt to myself....
hmm
if i had known, i wouldnt have cooked that packet of instant noodles...
been a week since i went habib....ahhh shouldve not eaten and eat that chic-chop instead.
im lost...dunno...its like hard for me...i need directions....
sigh it looks like its going to rain.....uggghhhh
worst
this is even worse than the exams....the questions that i cant get answers even in any text....
i just wanna know why thats all...
probably i over-reacted but hey it hurts.
i still dunno wats the outcome...i just cant weigh...
anyways, monday is another series of attachments....and i think the next placement is just appropiate...IMH hurhurhur...i think im going crazy...reality does make ppl crazy sometimes...
failed again...
sigh....she showed no remorse...
i last shed tears on raya morning....cos i now am living alone, i hugged mom, although i know i will still be visiting her whenever im free but still id not be living under a roof with the mom i loved....
i controlled, i hold them back but my eyes grew teary...i try not to make it roll down my cheeks cos big boys dont cry and i shall not...im just shaken and shivering and really upset + disappointed + shock.
the worst thing is....when i wanted it to end...'do watever u want..'
im shattered...
hmmmftttt....i dunno wat to do....i hope i made the right choice, it hurts but i guess its for my own good.
sigh
finally an internet connection but somehow it doesnt make me happy at the things i discover....
small2, little2 things also need to lie? disappointed, real disappointed....i think i give up already.
lets forget about all that crap, i dont care anymore....i dont like to be like under electroshock therapy every now and then...
enough for that....my exams....oh wells....its tough alright....i studied, i did but i guess i just never absorbed or it wasnt sufficient enough....but hey...im hoping for the best....
i wanna carry on with life....i wanna confront and ask why...im prepared for the worst, things cant carry on like this....anymore....it hurts me too much.
sigh
aiyah....dunno la....dun feel so good nowadays
living alone, pros and cons...
my shoulder hurts....sigh....id wanna skate again and its been raining....
t-shirts....i guess gonna spend money again....but id wanna be someone...yes money not everything but i just wanna be there, make a name for myself be someone....ambitious? yeah....im a capricon...wat do u expect...i just hope the december friday shodown really happens....
im getting 2 requests of my t-shirts from 2 local kids, total strangers, not fren2... a good sign....good sign indeed...slowly...hopefully itd pick up...i only need to come up with designs that appeal to the skateboarding community primarily...
gonna print a couple more for the veteran crew....we'll see la how...maybe friday ill borong bossini tees....printing for those requesting...
things hasnt been well.....differences in opinion...oh wells, ill take everything in a stride....but i just dont agree on that principle of hers....thats all
hahaha so what if someone called my pal, gay partner....watever la eh..but even if he's gay, he's a great gay...wen i felt down, i smsed him, he replies......sometimes you just need channels to vent....i blog, i draw and i seek those who i can trust.
sigh
im tired...studying and all....
im excited, i start printing tees already....
im looking forward to first friday of december hopefully i can sell my tees at the event sheikh organizing....
im dreamy, dreaming of my success hopefully....i have dreams and vision.....
i need internet connection...
i miss annie...
and i really need to get back to studying....
alot
alot of things been going on...
i spent alot...on my bikes but good thing is i dont have to change the waterpump as yet. BUT.....my tail-light unit was busted, the socket melted due to the lamp being on all the time becos of the switch faulty....that cost me 60+15, i changed my fuel hose at 50, my clutch was worn off, that cost me 100bucks.....my horn wasnt working all the time, i itchy2 fix 38bucks airhorn instead of the stock one....my headlamp switch was busted, 15bucks....i changed my seat cover that was filled with cat marks and the bottom look like as though it had moustache...that cost me 45bucks... side mirrors & number plate just extra la...make cantik abit...hehehe 19+12....phew...
also did some grocery shopping....and i bought my first frying pan...never bought a pan before...hahahaha...my pocket i think koyak liao...but nevermind i sold my abt a year old ipod for 250, bought it at 350. so pretty much ok la considering the fact that i did not use it often....and i got a refund from ntuc income cos my insurance wasnt fully utilized...99bucks in...kaching...n it was payday yest....so it kinda balance out, so end up i got spare to give mom and for rental and food and petrol....yeay..
me and annie turned 2months last wednesday......time flies doesnt it? and im loving her more each day...i hope she does too...and she need not worry about her irritating -ness cos actually that kinda made our relationship a lil more colourful....i love u annie lots....
4 papers next week...hmmmfftt....revisions.....
might have to pass jalan raya this saturday....
frames ready! yeayness.....start printing soon....
skating sunday morning......finally.....
hmmm.....
living on my own...hmmm cool but yet lonely at times....so wen feeling lonely, go out la, meet my sayang...hehehe....or go hbb.....just waiting for an internet connection...i guess ill be less lonely la if i had internet....can start on new designs...can surf around....etc.....
kla dunno wat else to write......kla see u guys ard in a couple of days time
bukit batok...
here i am again...in bukit batok...surfing the net, taking a break from study...
sheikh got nike to advertise on his website coolness and i cant wait to have my shirts ready so i can advert on his webbie...who knows nike digs my designs....just being hopeful and ambitious....bill gates told this 10year old kid on teevee...go find something ud like to do and make that ur business...well....maybe...when im working full time and can fund my own....
feels funny....2 weeks im away and it alread starting to feel a little foreign over here....im bringing back my coin bank...i need to save up.....for lotsa things.....
tumoros going to be a bz day.....bike servicing...followed by revision lessons at skool, then, fetch annie....
i miss skating...sam, come back la...so we all can go out skating again...
wednesday marks my 2 months with annie....i love her so much....
hopefully id get connected to the internet by this weekend.......yeayness....
4 papers next week.....gonna study hard and score an A.....
tts it for now...hunger strikes...heheh
ouh class3 if i have cash to spare...cos initially i dont wanna touch my savings but we'll see...
sigh...
been off the net...i use to be online almost everyday...actually everyday not almost.
but now...no connection...so we went to ps to get connected...the promo was catchy, get a lappie when u sign up contract for 2.5years....guess what...u have to fork out 300bucks for the modem and activation fee...the modem alone cost 264bucks....urrghhh
hmm....see how la...might or might not get it after all.....
i miss msn-ing and surfing youtubes and all....sigh....
i cleared my gerontology posting...wooohooo...
blogging and the internet
i miss the net alright, i miss blogging alright...
im no longer in bukit batok...teck whyes my home town now....but sigh no internet yet, so no blogging, u guys will here less of me until the birdman got the internet up, meanwhile got back home to get a couple of stuffs like season parking, etc, etc.
im not in a real good mood today, i hope no one diss me today...just found out by chance another unpleasant issue...im just wondering if decieving and lying is so much fun, probably i must try it out myself huh? kla gotta go or ill be late for my 1pm shift later, cos i gotta drop by queensway to collect my new braun buffel specs! i like!!! hehehe cheerios....may the happy vibes be with me, i hope....tough trying to maintain mental health....hahahaha..adios
i dunno wat to say.
i think, i think i have rotten luck...i dunno why la....is lying so much fun?
bowling, hmm rings any bell? no wonder the hunger to eat pizza.....
im disappointed yet again....i didnt expect it to be this way.
haiz...
orang semue sibuk siap beraya, aku sibuk mengemaskan pakaiaan2, buku2, dan lain2... mula2 rasa marah...tapi bila aku dengar takbir, suara pakcik aku yng tumpang solat dirumah yng bakal aku tinggalkan ini...sayup, sedih, air mata meleleh di pipiku... kenapa nasib ku sebegini? adakah disebabkan perbuatan2 aku yang lalu? mungkin, mungkin.
walau bagaimana pon aku mesti tabah, anak lelaki pertama ali bin atan ini takkan tewas. ku terkenangkan bapa ku...yng berada di jakarta, rindu terasa, tapi apakan daya jauh...
kepada muslimin sedunia dan sesapa yng membaca, selamat menyambut syawal, maafkan segala dosa2ku yng tak tersengaja...
sincere
finally got a sincere buyer...getting my cash tumoro....transferring tumoro, be giving mom, fathih, ayun some cash for raya...then yai, nyai n nenek....
thnks annie for loving me....love u lots....
looks like i can kickstart my tees....
next sunday.....im off to teck whye...ull see less of my posts...cos havent hook up internet....hehehe....
ipod 30gb
im selling away my ipod video 30GB with volcom case and usb cable. any offer contact me hor....looking at 200-250, give me an offer la...heh...cheerios...rarely use la lately, always plugged in to my shuffle since im riding...
so he backed out..
i just somehow felt its going to happen, i dunno for wat reason but wat to do...looks like ive got to look elsewhere and im $170 p.m. short now....its ok...
love the new 'home'....vacummed, mopped....etc....tired...shifting if tiring...
coolness
i think iskandar's mom is the 2nd coolest mom next to mine...we spoke on the phone and she told me a couple of things before i move in to the teck whye flat. she was cool about it i appreciate really her kindness.
so, im going to move in, officially 2nd day raya...which is sunday but ill start clearing and cleaning up tumoro if im not shagged out...should be a-ok ar...i dont dare frankly to stay alone yet...id wait for Is to move in on sunday...
im much more pretty excited rather than sad now...a little sad still but Is made me feel like more at home, more like a long lost brother...
thnks ratnor for the photoshop....and bro, maybe can skate together sometimes since we are nearer...heh!
sayang, i love u, sorry im a little bz just now....
gnite peeps
one after another
i dunno whats happening, i tot things getting better in a way or another but it appears not to be what i expected...its like one after another kinda thingy u know if melayu cakap "macam jatuh di timpa tangga..." its like one blow after another...well what can i do, this is fate and probably God's way of testing me....just accept lor and try my best to change it to be better or at least adapt to it...
haiz....i tot at least id be smiling a little on top of all the frownings but i guess now the smiles are merely smiles for the sake of smiling not a smile from deep within. emo arent i? i cant help it....its happening...i know....i just know...
i dont know la, i dont know wats happening...
i just want to get away....from everything for sometime....cant wait for the vacations. i think id love to try travelling alone...will i have the balls to do it? hmm.... we'll see, if things really gets worse....ill definitely do it...i need something to release the tension...
conflicting
conflicting feelings/thoughts is really engulfing me....id so want to leave but at the same time i feel sad leaving....cos i know id be alone....like no family at all... but id want to leave cos i cant stand that annoying moron anymore....
watever it is, i know im capable of looking after myself....although tough, struggling, i always managed to come up with means and ways to survive. for instance, i sold my rare shoes, parka, accessories just to make ends meet....i never borrowed...it was only once i did borrow....and i paid back immediately a few hours later cos i had cash at home stashed somewhere but my acc was empty. im not arrogant here nor proud, i think im just glad that god helped me out, god provide me with brains and capabilities to survive in this unkind world, where dog-eat-dog and backstabbing is a favourite past-time.
i just hope ill survive on my own, i know i will, i know i can...next couple of weeks is going to be spent studying and not sulking over the mishap that the moronic figure had caused. im strong, i know i am and i will go ahead with life...pursue what i believe in, try the best i can to get it....
skinnymunster replied and suggested i meet his partner up to discuss further as to how i can gain exposure to my silly tees...i know its simple and nothing fancy-smancy but i hope ppl will like it. and i hope that skinnymunster will help me sell my tees as well...
keeping the faith, keeping the dreams alive...
un-underground
initially i only wanted my tees to be underground, i mean not sold mainstream but after what has happened to me i decide to submit my designs to skinnymunster and noise.sg when i come up with better designs....ill pick a few and send in...and hope that they'd like it and hopefully i get to sell my tees...its ambitious but actually its a means of survival for me now...if i can manage to make extra bucks from the tees i make why not.
im going to get annie to help me sew the labels on my tees, i hope she knows how to or at least i can teach her....let try a few samples....
Z, is pretty silent about the wedding thingy...i really hope it gets kickin so dough starts coming in...i need to save up reely....
adil becomes the saviour...well, he gains as well....and with monthly money coming in, 50bucks will go to funding my tees...the rest to utilities bills and others. i intend to save at least 50bucks every month from NOW. its for the future dey....id want to own my own apartment, not just renting or seeking refuge at a frens place.
since now id be living on my own....i need to be not so lazy....i need to clean up the HOUSE not only ROOM....i think its the least i can do for Is who let me put up at his place. im only worried about the supernatural he mentioned....u see im not a real tough guy when it comes to ghosts...hehehehe....anyways im looking forward to it, i cant wait to move out...ill visit mom every week of course...shes the bestest mom on earth....
i just hope when im stable enough, next year when i graduated, i want to get married and get a flat of my own...
gotta iron clothes....taaa...
thanks a million Is....
god loves me
god loves me...everytime i plunge down to the ground, theres solutions that brought me up on my feet again....
its either bedok or teck whye...i would prefer teck whye cos its within my 'comfort zone' im near my frens at bukit batok, near mom and near my sayang annie... i hope iskandar's mom gives the green light and if so, ill be moving in soon...i pray that god will repay iskandar's good deed...
for sale
im selling away my vespa.....i just need to fund myself till july...pls help. call me for info. thnks.
sick of this life im living
sometimes i just wished i got that job i wanted years ago....by now id be living on my own already happily....cos probably id can afford it....
im my own fault for the life im living now....i dont blame anyone else....
if i were to progressed sooner....have a stable pay, i wouldnt be stuck in this hell-hole.
aiyah, everyones avoiding....when ure in a lurch...its always like this...
im tearing now....but im holding it back...cos im telling myself...im strong....i can. i will fuck him...
why..
i wonder why...
anyways, haiqal got his photos exhibited at lomography exhibition today and tommorow.. wanna go down take a look....but none of my frens are lomo fans....who uses 35mm film camera nowadays? very rare...now is the digital era where film cameras are frowned upon for its inconvenience and bcos dg have the ability to view what uve taken but film cameras are like mysteries, if ure in luck, ur fotos turns out beautiful.....if not they will be just under or over exposed.....well isnt that more like life? u never know what u gonna get...
life....have been pretty colourful for me....i had many jobs...in many fields...i tried different stuffs, although im one of the few who progressed late but ive had a colourful life....i experienced alot of things along the way...i learnt a lesson of life never taught in school or by parents....
but for now.....what id love to do, is just settle down....and pursue my 'hobby' and hopefully it goes a long way...and hopefully when i retire (comfortably), i got something to show my kids...this was what daddy do.....and i can teach my kids too, lessons in life...so they dont have to go thru what ive been thru which wasnt pleasant at times.
i dunno
i dunno...well i dunno...
will i? will i not? i dunno....
this big fat boy is fearful....seriously.
i just wanna be someone
went down to kallang to get the frames i ordered last friday....phew....cost me $45 thats inclusive of gst......and i tot id get a squeeze...my estimation was maybe less than 10bucks...but it cost me another $16++. the salesperson asked me....business ar? i say, hobby....she asked profit? i repeated, hobby...then she noticed my uniform, "u work in a hospital??". i nodded, "yup.." "your interest is in here but u work in a hospital?" i replied, "i cant survive on this, nurse stable...." then she smiled and said good, yadayada.....well at least she encouraged.....was frenly nuff to introduce me to certain products....which i only now know....the emulsion remover...wooohoo thatll save me some bucks...
retard
retard...
i guess the guys im hearing alot about are retards. would u keep pestering on someone who's already attached and try as though hopefully they'd break up so u can have that someone? pure retard.....pure retard....wheres ur god damn balls?
fuck them ar, ball-less....i know how shahreil feels now......damn retard those guys, its either their stupid or they are retards.....i despise guys like them, met them so many times in my life....pure retards....
malas
so malas....clinical placements like this one is such a drag....i think ill enjoy ot and mental health more....sigh....
ive never had...
ive never had a gf who fetched me from work....
ive never had a gf who make me jellies brought it all the way from bukit panjang to tan tock seng for me to eat...
ive never had a gf like annie before....
love u dear....
...
dear, i love u, wat more can i say;
i miss you, every night and everyday.
from the time i wake up,
till my eyes close for the day.
even when im down,
i'm all smiles around you.
even when i frown,
i was never pushed away from you.
u light up the darkness,
u light up my life.
with you around,
i enjoy living my life.
i'd pray this last forever.
separate, hopefully never.
i've never felt this before,
the first love i felt with no flaw.
fatty bom-bom
when i looked into the fotos i developed....ouh my gosh, i am a fatty bom-bom...when can i get my figure back when i was a team-leader or during ns? where i can wear size 30 instead of the now 34-36....uggghh...my mom told me...better slim down!...hahaha yeah i will..if i can do it once, i can again....
silly-happy
she held out her little finger and asked me to make a promise. i think she is the only one sincere enough to ask me to do that. im so happy.
only one thing lurks....blessings.
adzwan whipped up cool cream pasta....thnks adzwan and the rest brought food bought, ranging from chickwings, doughnuts, etc. i brought diy jelly, failed at first try cos i put too much fruits. adzwan's dad was a cool one....and gosh...somehow or another we are related....small world isnt it...
im so lazy....this time round clinical placement is such a drag....probably its cos its fasting month? nah dont think so...rather i guess cos most of the patients is bed-bound and has dementia.....its a tough call nursing elderlies...believe me. i cant wait for my placement at IMH cos i know ill enjoy that...
this is what goes daily in my mind.....finish this & next semester clean, get that class 3, buy a car(im taking ur advise adzwan's dad), save up for marriage.
gotta go...wanna collect the developed fotos...
a B
i forgot to mention.....Zhiyuan sms me when i was half asleep in the morning....an unbelievable news....i expected to get a C only for my bio prac....BUT I GOT A 'B'! WOOTS.....unbelievable but i guess i got lucky...
fun
we had lotsa fun just now.....initially it was tiring and frustating cos we never found what we were looking for a yellowish/orangish baju for annie to match mine...but turns out the guys going visiting 3rd week which happens to be annie's cuzzen's wedding, therefore she cant tag along...mebbe on the sunday she could....
after the unsuccessful find.....we head to brickworks to meet leo and guys to break fast. the food was fine except the table, a little cramped....its nice eating together be it family or frens....although the food is mediocre but the feeling of eating together beats any nice food.....after downing rice, seafood and all....we came to the funnest thing of the day.....the luge....was our first time...and i had lotsa fun, i bet annie did too and the rest of the guys...i got stuck in the first run, the 2nd run i went fast and was too engrossed that i didnt realise annie got stuck and left behind, panick a little but lucky nuff dizzy was there...thnks dizzy....the 3rd run, i never let her go out of my sight...it was fun...and i didnt expected it to be able to go fast. i think i wanna bring fathih and ayun down one of these days....i too wanna go again...hehehe...
i bet annie had fun today....we ended the day at habib...drinks and annie was hungry, so we had chickchoprice.....she fed me...hehehe felt so pampered....anyways finally i finished my roll of 36....yeayness tumoro can develop!!!...im loving annie daily...
i havent been the jamie-oliver wannabe for a long time...tumoro adzwan having a breaking-fast cum potluck kinda thingy....now im thinking...wat should i whip up...fried marcaroni? fried rice?...hmm if i had an oven, i can bake a pizza or 2...
hmm maybe ill make dessert...woots....yeah desserts!, ill borrow mommy's cookbook tumoro....
im a happy boy today.....i love annie, i love my frens....u guys made my day today. and leo thanks for the luge rides....was one hell of an experience...
Hallucinate on.
Hallucinate caps out now for sale at SGD32!
Embroided on quality flexfit caps, available in L/XL, pre-order of other sizes available upon request!
personalized candy bars
zahidah told me to try and create personalized candy bar wrappers for her, the candy bars or chocolates will be used as 'berkats' or door gifts(?) for malay weddings. I came up with one so far, cos she asked me on such short notice...i didnt know to use whose names as sample names....so i decided shahreil and yati since they are getting married soon...hehe...so do u like it? and would u buy?
civilized?
if we were in the barbaric age, god knows what wouldve happened....probably a huge club wouldve landed on his head just to wake the bugger up.....and rather shut him down. if we were in the early human civilization, probably id already give him a good beating... if it were in the hang tuah era, my tamingsari wouldve been depressed deep into his flesh. if it were in the era where legislation and law were not that established probably he'd get a good pounding of my fist. BUT we are now living in a so called civilized world.....but still some ppl behave like animals....
if ure lazy to work, ud probably use an excuse to be exempt from work. watever it is, its ur fucken business. when u use what i did as a fucken excuse, it becomes my fucken business and i wish i could clobber u dead or with the knowledge i have just plunge that needle fully loaded with potassium. its not once, twice or even thrice, its been years of tolerance and sometimes i just couldnt take it. ppl who wouldnt understand or not living under the same roof probably would say, "just buat bodoh la...y take it to heart when u know his like that..." im not perfect and ive changed from being temperamental to patient and still i can feel the heartache...its not easy.......my mom told me what happened when im away, he's the usual no balls guy who talks behind my back or when we ended up quarelling, he's scream at the top of his lungs senseless and stupid invalid statements before hiding himself in his room like a little girl...probably on diapers in case he wet his pants. he's the ultimate king of backstabbers and hypocrites.
this was wat he said last night, "tak boleh cat rumah la semalam radio kuat kepala pening..."(i cannot paint the house just now, the radio was switched on loud, headache). so that was the excuse so that he need not go to work today reason being he will only paint today bcos yest, the radio-playing caused his headache. when my mom told me....i was like WTF...pissed and ubberly upset! ok let me tell u....i came back home at 3+ yest, nobody was home....until he came home close to 4pm, can u finish painting within 3hrs before buka? surely not...the whole living room? the other day he spent the whole day just to paint cloudy whites which is so ubber ugly and awful looking. so it was just a pure excuse at my expense, certainly he had no intention to paint, else he wouldve started early like last week and not went out only to be back at 4pm. this is just one of his ugly behavior....theres still many not mentioned....
this entry has been an angry one and it kinda soothing to jot it down here...watever it is i shall not be angry cos of such a spastic individual, not worth it....im trying to keep my cool.....deep breathes and exercise to sweat out.....hopefully endorphins will be released and i will be in a lighter better mood...insyahallah...
he just purely disses me off....i cant wait to start work and be able to afford my own apartment.
tired
it was an early knock off today but that doesnt mean im not tired.....i spun my uniforms when i got home....i tot id lie down awhile...i end up asleep only to be awaken by laughters on the radio.....then i realised i slept like 1.5hours....haiz.. thats ok...im suppose to come up with designs for choc bar wrappers for a fren...and i havent done nuts...
so i switched on the pc with ol-skool wu tang playing on itunes...then mom knocked on the door....i opened....i was pissed when mom showed the slip from posto....apparently, mr postman was knocking on the door to deliver the much awaited ltd edition hallucinate caps....but my selfish stepfather decided to pretend he's asleep and not open the door. watever la....so i tot id collect it direct from the post office....called sayang, to meet me slightly earlier...i was excited and i already ordered 3 frames for printing hallucinaTees....so annie came down earlier...i ironed my purple tee, wore my black berms which i couldnt fit into before ramadhan....then head down to the post office with my sayang....but to my horror, the caps are not there, i didnt read the slip, it says 1 or 2 working days later, the item can be collected at nearest post office.... Ugggh...nvm that, so we head to microscreen to collect my frames....halfway thru at PIE toa payoh...it rained....so i made a filter out...got wet and we had no choice but stop there abandon collecting the frames cos they close at 7pm and decide to break fast there.... had a sumptous meal of halal chinese food at fork and spoon.......i tried to forget about the 2 mishaps....sigh....then at toa payoh, i got the fake crocs which i will be using for my OT postings...at least i got something today, useful of course....
we decide to head for geylang when the rain stopped completely cos lazing around at east coast chit-chatting isnt a good idea since it just rained awhile ago...walked around...had that nice chendol, showed annie around, window shopping basically....
we ran into mankey and lin at tkc...then we tagged along with them...then i saw awing-songkoks at a shop....and got meself a spanking high songkok, i like....then annie got these brooches for herself and my sis......then mankey got this nice samarinda which will be used as samping for his baju...we were all happy and ended the day at habib, with a couple of drinks and laughters....had fun today... lots...
im loving annie more each day.......gd night peeps, gd night sayang....cant wait to go visiting with u in that purple baju and probably golden-yellow ones if ure getting
love ya....see ya soon in a couple of hours....hehe
lost
lost.
having muscular twitches/spasms at the scapula area....maybe im just tired or its bcos of the fall i had.
i dunno la.
love, sweet
i love u sooo much for...
accepting me the way i am,
wanting to sacrifice,
understanding our differences,
wanting a future with me,
making living my life wonderful,
making me look forward to everyday,
making sleepless nights less dreadful,
willing to take the risk with approvals from parents,
changing ur ways to make me happy,
loving me,
making me happy everyday,
showing me what love really is,
and many more, the list could go on....
i only wished....
i met u earlier before u got a religion,
i met u earlier before the girls before u broke my heart,
u are a muslim too,
more ppl have an open mind,
u can be by my side 24/7,
i still have my paternal father with me,
and many more i wished....
watever it is, i hope u know how i feel about u, though this entry might make some puke blood but its how i feel....so i dont care
gotta sleep, see ya guys around. love ya annie.
hee
yeah i know i should be getting ready for my clinicals but im just mesmerized by this foto when i was playing with my fone, isnt she sweet? annie, in her first baju kurung. love ya sayang.....miss ya..
i love this foto taken by my sayang...of my room....soon itll be orange walls, no more black n pink......sayonara....look out for new foto in a couple of weeks time!
mom met annie, mom seems ok with annie....except like not expecting her son to bring back a chinese girl.....she talked with annie but i guess annie was too shy to talk much...heh....
i love my sayang.....yes, i mean what i say....gnite peepz.
1st month
time flies....and its oredi a month that we've been together...love u sayang... hope 'beary-sid' the bear i bought u just now will accompany u whenever im not by ur side. love ya lots....ure my angel alright....hope to meet u tumoro....hope we'd really go visiting in that shade of purple bajus....:).....
ubber cool
multi-tasking,
chatting with annie, surfing the net, laundry, packing stuff for tumoro, getting ready but this is ubber cool....
OH MY GOD!
Diana, my ex bbss schoolmate is now studying sports at ngee ann part time....thats not exciting but whats exciting is her lecturer is Chris Haslam's mom!!!! and guess what im getting Chris Haslam to wear hallucinate tees.....im giving one of my tees once its printed to Diana to pass to her lecturer who will pass it to Chris Haslam!
Am i realising my dreams or what? woots!
hahaha and chris haslam is a december baby too!....he'll be getting hallucinate tees on 19th December if everything goes well.
nurse doesnt equal to occupation
i dont see nursing as job....
daily, im sharing what i know with ppl around me...
and giving advice to my fren whose father is diabetic and hypertensive, really made me think that ive answered the calling...and nursing does come in handy......im worried bout myself too....cos my late grandfather have CVA(cardiovascular accident) or stroke.
im worried about one thing though....wen i graduate, will i still be as enthusiastic or will the routine in my job makes me less enthusiastic?....well thats another thing..
was telling ratnor...i hope to be an APN one day.
my annie is feeling better...im glad i was not the cause....but id like to find out why too.....im meeting her later...i love her and im ubber excited...
gtg shower guys...see ya...
sigh
ok....i might have been to irritating and probably not understanding enough... i dunno, i might've been paranoid, just paranoid....i dunno....watever it is, i am sorry.
i would love to blame the past but its me, its not the past....i have no intention to hurt anyone but if i did, i am sorry.
i think ill just go to bed, what is done, is done.
im considering to get class 3, i might have to depart with something i love but its my decision, nobody have the right to tell me what to do. ill decide soon and roy, ull be such a lucky ass...well, we'll see.....
im eye-ing on four wheels....no more two wheels...although the sight of the red roadking at adil's carpark just now, made my heart stomp awhile......although that roaring ducati that passed by us just now made me want a bigger bike....but i guess id be going for that 4-wheels...but not as yet....only when im a staff nurse......
im not in a pleasant mood either....i just hope annie gets better.....i dunno wat to do, seriously....i like just turned dumb.....
i just want you to know, the whole time im outside with my frens....i kept thinking about u, how ure doing, whether ure feeling better and if it was my fault that u felt lousy, when i saw that baju, i visualized how ud look in it but then i remembered u felt lousy and all i could think of is how u are doing. im not 1bit sleepy right now bcos i am still thinking of u, how u are doing and all. im sorry if i caused u to feel lousy, i really am.
gtg....see ya guys around....monday my clinicals day...i hope the old folks at ward 7a can cheer me up or something......
im just pissed off at dumb guys....thats all.....
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