haiz.....

stagnant...progression is slow cmmon gimme the answer, well im hoping i get in sgh...
2 years of sacrifice to a life-long career, ive made the decision and theres no turning back.

last week, raimie, eizhar were just talking bout future and how our age catches up, raimie being the lucky one, he signe up with one of the uniform groups back in ns where up till now he have a stable career but one thing he regret, he never saved back then, its only a couple of years back that he started....well, its the same with me...wen i left ns i was working, hard but spending hard as well....and i was dumb to do so... cos it got me nowhere and hmm i dunno wat else 2 say, it was 2years odd of splurging, spending like nobody's business until i guess 2005 i got my mind straight i gotta get a hold of myself, so i started but still the saved cash had to go to my debts when i was jobless, tts my caramella my bike, my only love since late 2004. im glad now i paid off all of it and in fact i got another bike cos i sayang so much caramella that i cant bear to ride her everyday and actually its slow for going to work and all la...heee..

now im more firm with decision making.....if ive decided id stick with it...and theres always a back up plan....like i have to sell caramella for various reasons but if say when it comes to the time tt i have to renew my insurance and still there's no buyers, id opt to uplay it and probably keep it in my room, or at pen's place...and about nursing, its a stable career ive opted for, theres no turning back if i got accepted but im unsuccessful, i guess id keep looking for other routes....... age is catching up, theres no turning back....ive wasted a total of almost 3years and im not going to let that happen again.....no way....

this day, my cuzzen, muhaled is getting engaged...congrats bro....he was the closest cousin ive ever had.....but we drifted since ns times....anyways congrats....

sigh, work soon...sometimes my current job is a drag but sometimes its ok and i kinda enjoy it....but i want a job whereby i look forward to everyday and of course the possibility of promotions...

until then gtg guys...cya peepz ard....

splendid

i was lucky, alhamdullilah....god let me save 100bucks of my much needed hp....my trade in wasnt possible if shahril's fren syed wasnt working there....cos my hp was trashed, but he made it possible......so i saved a whopping 100bucks on top of the 50bucks voucher i oredi got.......i just got an average phone...my budget was below 200...and i very well stick to it, i only needed to fork out 148....love my new phone, wanted to get v3 actually but syed told me sony is much more worth the buy...

watched gubra yest with the the crazy colleague of mine.....i love the show, worth every single cent i spent.......ive yet to watched sepet but gubra was already a good one, so later on, im gonna watch sepet on dvd......i hate orked's husband, he's the piece of meat, the dirt, the stupid one...he had such a wonderful wife and he had to round fuck around.......anyway watch it urself to find out more...teehee....

ouh i gotta get my iu unit working, if not everytime i wanna go town i have to park my bike somewhere n take a train or bus........or mebbe next time ill just go public...

and i so want to do better this friday....cos i want to be at sgh more.....for many reasons....

until then cya, gotta iron my uniforms.....and ouh i got 2 free movie passes from my training yest! cool....gonna watch the DORM soon....

the mind is a terrible thing to waste

like the phrase i heard umpteen times, ppl wont call u ________(fill in the blank) if u kept ur mouth shut. aw shit, my blog is supposed to be a happy2-joy2 thingy...but nvm.

i have many reasons for my actions....and i can not say it out.....but i hate it when baseless accusations are made.....dumbfuck....find out, ask before u accuse someone, well i did but u lied until i found out the truth...anyways fuck it, but to the kaypoh mak nenek who decided to tell every fuckshit wats happening congrats you've conveyed the message efficiently and at the same time piss the hell off me......

anyways back to my ol' beautifool, recovering life.....yest, adil & adisam, my new found skate buddies....we, the old 'birds' started skating again...and it was hell lot of fun and definitely cheaper than a movie or shopping....and fuck yeah i can add more tricks to my blackbook.....i tore my volcom jeans....wat a waste but ill have it sewn back.....

im listening to more ol skool hardcore-hip-hop nowadays, i dunno why but its like music that drive me to skate....well actually slayer has the same effect too...so yeah listen to SLAYER....hehehe.......oh god i cant wait for the next skate day...

GOOD NEWS FOR TODAY-----i got an interview come friday with SGH....fooohoo....great place to be working at, my auntie is the nurse-manager there, my fren ruyani is at a nurse at one of the clinic there and my cousin qistina is working there too.... yeah yeah id love to work there with all the ppl i know around me.....insyaAllah....ill get to work with SGH....cant wait....

skool starts, income low, i need a part-time job to make up so tt i can continue contributing to my family.....

anyways adisam n adil.....keep the faith dudes.....skate or die.....fridae amcams kalau date lu cancel kiter skate....ok la see ya guys.....iamvicious relives...

i cant wait for sunday

bless me on thursday, let saturday pass with a breeze and let sunday come sooner...

thursday---> MAJOR INTERVIEW FOLLOWED BY MOVIE DATE
saturday---> MOBILISATION(ARMY SUCK)
sunday-----> SKATE DAY WITH ADIL N ADISAM

but for now, im getting ready for SOCCER!....boys will be boys....

black, wait up, im sure gonna pick up racing(RC) again....once i got nuff cash... miss those days we thrash the carpet tracks with our fully mod 1:27 scale sports cars.....

i love my hair now ....... i flick it to the other side, instead of my parting on the right, i change to left....kinda cool...heee....experiment...its healthy...

i had a 'hot' dream last night....why must it always be mysterious...hehehehe damn!...

ok guys gotta go....the boy in the ballack jersey is going to rip those posts tonight!

the sore thighs

thursday night, i ran for about 3km, breathless i still managed to come back in a piece...friday night after the movie we were aimless, so jalan2 all the way from marina to suntec to bugis to arab street...yest i started skating.....TODAY my thighs are sore...damn.....worn out....

new hobby means less time wasted, i got a feeling id be single for at least another 4-5 years...hehehe....but hey at least i have fun....at least i got plans for the future..

anyway NI, thnks for fridae....if not i guess i wouldnt be watching fd3....cos everyone in my list have watched it just cos i had to work late last week...damn...anyways it was gory macam ala-happy tree frens.....

i had to do some appraisals for my staff which would determine their annual increment, i recommended all to get that....wouldnt u love it to have me as ure superior?...hehe
anyway its not my money....if they were to question me to justify the increment, the reply i already prepared....

i so wanna skate again today....dz why no reply dah ......my foot is itchin....damn

d greatest exercise machine

i invented in wat i think the greatest exercise(cardio) 'machine' ever invented....the skateboard....its fun, it makes u sweat, builds up ur courage and increase ur heart rate to a healthy level....my thighs already feelin tight...aww.....

i look like an idiot anyways, so old amongst the kids at go-sport probably the oldest skateshop in sg....anyways, i feel good, progressions pretty fast and i hope it dont stop there, being mature does help u mentally...though the fear is still there and i twisted my knee trying to pull a pop shove it...damn...heee...its fun, ppl out there join in the fun....i already did...

close shave

capricons are stubborn ppl.....it was a close shave last night back from alif, where i pop my boba across the hump, i landed slanted...damn itchy me....hehehehe...

anyways, shahreil, my previous entry was jus about my DREAM.....and ouh im not sombong, i had to iron my uniforms just now, cos i woke up a little late today and have to rush alot of things...

i wanted to write bout sumthin last nite but was too sleepy....anyway i gained weight, cos im lazy to run again...ive skipped running for 3 whole weeks now....suppose to run at least once a week....but now i guess once a month.....i just hope i dun balloon to wat i was before...but hey i can still fit in my my 32inch berms, so i guess its fine..

i need(want) a new handphone.....soon, soon....

i will have to part with my locks soon....sigh....

today i recieve an sms tt put a smile, mile wide even though i had to work late, it reads " good night sid, my dearest fren...." i only wished the last word wasnt 'fren'
hehehehe but good nuff...in life u have to learn to be satisfied sometimes..

ive been listening to black sabbath these few days.....i wish i had a band whom i can jam with.....oh dizzy started skating again....n im pumped to skate again....it was how i occupied myself a couple of years ago, when 'disaster' was just a smell away.. but optimistic capricon refuse to smell the stench of it...hehehe....i think only i know what im talking bout...hehehehhe...anyways, the next 'rubbish' im gonna buy is a skateboard.....n yeah i will skate......n yeah i will try pull tt 50-50 clean.....
soon.....soon....

gnite peeps...n my dearest fren(s)......:)

i think its true after all

hmmm im beginning to think im not paranoid after all, i see ppl avoiding me...its true, ive been deleted of frens list somehow from the ppl i know, not those whom i knew online only....i do not know if its done delibrately or by mistake....sigh, lets just forget bout it cos i know i still have my wonderful frens still ard me by my side, well unless they too get sick n tired of me....

many was pleased with the bbq, and some even thought of having a 'sequel' to it...zul suggested a chalet, i tot a picnic would be great and many want tt kind of chillin session again...but probably more organized n prepared....

i hope money does comes in cos i wanna 'soup' up boba....and if i do get back to school n graduate with a rewarding career, i want to look for a race buddy, buy a nuovo and race it on weekends....i want live my dreams....i told tt to ppl close to me before, theres a couple of things left to do and one of them is racing....legally of course...
oh n i always wanted to try jump off a ramp or sumthin on a motorbike....crazy huh?.. but hey its a fantasy....

dreadlocks, ive always wanted to do that but sigh im almost there keeping the length but i have to sacrifice tt for my future sake....

i had a weird dream on monday, i had a family of my own....but i have no driving license so my family had to tumpang ridzman to dunno where...teehee...and ouh i didnt get to see my 'wife''s face...but i think she's someone i knew...anyway its just a dream....gnite peepz....

work

work will start again, i cant wait for the switch....
im addictive, addicted, to many things superficial and real.....
i need that chin up bars, the only place i do chin ups is at my workplace where i hung to those metal shelvings...oh ive broken the zero again....
im still wondering how id look in white n black shoes....
i still got a strong feeling bad things abt me is being spread about in this wonderful sg...
i am still the same paranoid me....
i chose to waste my offday away......the lazy bug is in me again....
im loving comedies and love stories more....
im thinking of ways to chop my hair....im vain...
i feel the bulge as im typing away, im fat...
im not sleepy cos i slept too much...
im not hungry cos i ate too much....
im sneezy cos i stopped vitamin c.....

wandi's bike is a superb noise emitting machine it sounded just like those xr4s, im considering still that powerfilter n performance pipe...believe me, id pop again...
tee heee....

here are my most current wants.....if u won a lottery buy me one of the followings..:

a sound system for my ps2/mp3, so i can blast them while i race
tt wireless ps2 controller
a flat screen monitor cum teevee
a new pc
tt recliner from ikea, to go with all of the above
a chin up bar, an ez bar and more weights
tt motard arai helmet
a gpr or leo vince
a malossi power filter, torque driver plus performance rollers
tt 'lost' wallet
some nice leather shoes for my interview
a new haircut...
a new pair of glasses

well i guess tts about it for now......gnite peeps, :)

a simple occassion

ok i was excited for tt but then 2 person pulled out...disappointed but hey they have every right to change their mind even if its at the last minute....then another couple buih...hehehe but its ok...they claimed they are shy but dun la keep on asking where is it n stuff cam as though ure eager to join also....

anyways it was fun and simple and fynda's mi briyani was superb, i had 3 helpings...and loads of honey chix.....the night was simple, chit-chat, laughs, u know the normal chill out session except with the additional food and games...hehehe....we played uno, damn old school...and shared tips on our obsession the gilera.....the bbq was simple but i guess it was really a good one cos it bonded us together.....i think we all got closer...to think tt all of us have our own lives, rotating shift works, planning for marriage, bz schedule, etc....but we made an effort to make time just for this, a simple outing....we could do better next time, probably a radio would be nice and aidil's sisha too...heee...

hmm todae, most prob will be watching Final destination with my gilly buddies... most prob...oh before that wanna watch my old time vespa fren's yazid performance at takashimaya....

24/7 now im thinking about nursing, itll be a great change and id love to go back to school...i know ill have a whale of time and lots more headaches but a brighter future ahead...

one step closer

im one step closer to becoming a male nurse, if i get thru 9th of march i can foresee my life for the next few years already...wish me luck frens....

dumb creatures?

dis is what i learnt, first hand real life experience....girls are either super cunning and a great liar or they can be extremely dumb.

scenario one, a fren of mine was flashing a foto of herself n her new bf....well ok la, id b proud too if i had someone...but hey tt guy looks familiar and true enuff it was him, after a short conversation we found out tt he's a predator, who hunts for girls at the usual lame site anak melayu...believe me lepak sak how a girl can actually hook up with these fakes...ive been there out of curiousity and hell, i didnt like it...its(the website) like an electronic pimp....although it did help me reunite with my poly frens whom i lost contact long time ago....back to the story....so okay she found out who he was, she continued seeing him, well tts fine, it has got nothing to do with me and its ur choice n life anyways....but then just now she was pissed at him cos she learnt he had another woman and indeed gave another stupid excuse, "oh its jus a plot to see if ure jealous and if u really love me..." hehehe crap.....and guess wat she told me, sid, i dunno la but i love him....i choose to believe him than the girl......hehe well ur choice....i can just smile...

scenario 2, the extremely cunning and a great liar....hmmm need i tell u meh? jus the other way round lor......and naive guys tend to be the victims lor...thinking tt she loves him, cos she cries crocodile tears and her hugs made him feel the warmth of love...hehehehe

enuff of the L-O-V-E shit....i dun believe it until i found one, a real one for now, i guess its crap, even those lovers can cheat each other and guess wat knowingly....
so i dun see a point, might as well be a swinger......i even have frens who fell in 'love' with a married man probably old enough to be her father.....and believe me i use to think she was hot until now....theres too many living example tt 80% of love stories are actually fakes.....only probably 10% are real and the 10% are just there to exist, get wat i mean?

-----------------------------------------------------
todae,
went to go-sport wif ma bb bud, shahreil....brings back memories of those skateboarding years....those times wen we stink as hell and shred costly shoes like nobodies business, it was cool back then, no worries, no nothing, save up for complete set, and skate till we are dead tired....running away from cops and residents who got annoyed with the noise...the memories made me wanna skate again... probably itll provide an escape from the adult life now.....id love to do that big spin again, that fakie ollie, etc...but then again like tt auntie said, remember uve put on weight...hehehehe

soccer was a little boring todae....i dunno why but having strangers in ur team sure took away the fun and excitement...
alif---i was still paranoid over yest incident, i kept looking if any pig was coming.
i went home still hungry, grabbed tt grapefruit juice i bought and poured a full cup, it was horrible cos its raw and no sugar added....uggghhh....then i added the drink i got the other day...hmm better...but makin me drowsy..heheheh....ooops

friday....
the bbq im looking forward to, i hope itll be fun...just chill out, eat some unhealthy food, no wait, i bet itll be fun....vespa frens gone, now gilera frens...
too bad the vespa ppls' passion didnt last....and i was left alone.....

okla until then peeps, ive wrote long enough.....cya ard peeps

sigh

there am i, after my prata, enjoying my teh o halia.......when suddenly..."tp!, tp! saman...sapa tak sayang duit tinggalkan kereta....!" i was wtf.....went to my bike, try to move it as quick as possible but the fucken pig in white is already taking down everyones vehicle number....bloody pig!.....we're moving off already wont u give us some face...mutha fucka.....ok, so my 70bucks will make up ur pay, i hope u bloat with the money u use to buy food, feed ur family and so on....at least give us some grace but u muthafuck decide to take down the numbers, if i do get any summons from tp, ill curse u down 7 generations(ceh macam cerita langkawi jer) mutha fucka, u must be having ur pms tt u have to take down the number...

enough...now i only pray tt he never did get a chance to take down mine....i hope so, 70 bucks i can do alot with it...pay bills, season parking, etc....fuckyall pigs... asswipes...

MONDAY(N)

eat alot, slack alot, fart alot, listened to rock alot, suddenly i feel 512mb is not sufficient, humans, never satisfied with what they have, thats why they left to hunt for better or worse have both or more at the same time, i wanted a bigger space mp3 but i dun think its necessary, might as well delete the songs ive been listening to for like 3 months and put in the ol skool rock im so into todae i dunno why. black sabbath, acdc,jimi, ozzy all suddenly sounded so sweet.....sweet leaf, i love ya...hehehe...

had a fun day......coolness....i wait for another day of fun...

heres this years goal....abit too late but better than neva....
since we are going to get some money from the big G, id like to make use of it to obtain class 3, my aim to bring round mom n the 2 younger ones round during hari raya..
and of course the class 3 aids me in my future......really...my other goal to save up at least 5k tis year if i dun get to study nursing....i dunno if its ambitious but tts my target.....id do my best, its better if i go way beyond it....

my vision, still, to live my dream no matter how long it takes, i wanna be my own boss....mebbe not now, mebbe not in the next 10 or 20years.....but the dream still carries on....

boy, good luck for tt biathlon....shahreil go get tt gilly....mankey dun waste anymore money, start saving up, wanna see u n lin settle down like shahreil n yakti..

watever it is, i wish the best for my frens....cos they were there for me when i was left alone....thnks dudes.....

helloween playing future world now.....gnite peepz.....gotta catch some sleep.

why

up till today, some things are still unexplainable....

im sorri razi, i have to disappoint u with the word no, i want that pipe but i guess id put my money to better use....how bout class 2 or class 3?

im gonna miss my hair in may...i have to snip it off for reservist.......suck right....

its that time wen i feel so lazy....my ass so heavy, and gravity pulling my eyes...

its tt time when i wonder wats wrong with me......

pls i want tt fonecall from either one, moe or wda...pls la..pls....

summary of the many days

emotional, materialistic, lusty on monday.....
i had a 'fling' well u can call it that....
i indulged in so unneccessary stuffs that made me happy while it last...
i spend, finally.....
im going to spend again...
im not so bad, so vicious, so evil after all
i am growing, oh no....not again...
i worked my ass off to keep that from happening...
im becoming more and more of a money making idiot and yet im spending more....it doesnt fit, id like to have more money but i end up spending...
i can get egoistic at times...
oh shit its becoming more like a profile on frenster...well its not
im beginning to think writing in fragments suck.
i bought 2 new games, nfsmw black list & def jam fight, i wish i was like my character in defjam fight so i can whoop those asses without a problem.
im listening to peterpan again, its making me hummm and its makin me emotional at times.
im weak, im a freak, so go fuck off....
i lost again at obtaining another....i screwed up....i shouldnt have...
my boss pisses me off, i just told him off and i have just put my job on the line..
he's such an asshole, he dunno wat he's talking and he thinks my job is so fuckin simple, mebbe cos im fat?
sega wants me to write a review for their latest game but i guess they wont let me have a free play of the game, so sorry, i cant do it then...
if i get to be a teacher, ill be the coolest one, well at least in sg....
if i get to be a nurse, ill get those broken legs dancing and those broken arms boxing.
im a believer, im a capricon, i believe in myself...
the chants at my void deck is driving me crazy...
i dun care anymore, im going to do wat i want and i dun give a fuck wat u say.... cos ure nobody to be saying anythin bout me...
im tired, yet i want to play soccer....
i dont want to worry and im not(well thats a lie)...
i dont lie, u do...idiot
i want to cheat and get the feel of it but im single now, im dangerous and an idiot to be writing this in public but then again like i said, i dont lie..
i envy other ppl alot...but i know i have my own life...
im not a walking time bomb, im calm and mellow, i scream six feet under.
last but not least, you n You n you SUCK.....u pissed off great deal..

late

such an idiot, im late n i missed 1 chance....nvr mind...still plenty more, cmmon sid buck up....

was at the usual kopi session with ma pals....talking bout the cost of a wedding... it scares me alright.....25K ouh...yeah tts right 25K estimated......im not getting married soon alright tts for sure.....even if i put aside 1k per mth, ttll take at least 2 years....

i think if i found someone, id just do the basic, no grand lavish wedding, unless insyah'allah i get a job tt earns me more than 2k......but for now id think minimal.
i understand its a once in alife time thingy....but if u cant afford it why kill urself. like shahreil's nick, if u work for a living why kill urself working....
but im lucky im single now....at least i got time to save, to plan, etc and wats best for me....i can at least do wats best for me...

wats important is i do well in life...tts all i want now...

gnite peepz

choices

o levels, b3 for english, b3 for malay, distinction for malay oral, the rest dont ask, cos i never study....but an improvement by 3 grades in my languages means i stand a better chance for a place in NIE.....and probably the accelerated 2 year dip in nursing at nyp.....wish me luck brudders.....i can see clearly that the rain is gone....

WASSUP?

wassup with me?....dengar sini aku katakan dengan jelas.....pangkah...delete...reformat
paham?....bodoh punye biskut......

oh korang miss akunye entry yng aku banggakan aku score kerana aku bukan orang yng gemar main bola, akhirnya terjerumus dalam permainan laknat nie...hehehe.... sori guys, no more...hehehe....bukan, aku tak segan di perli, di kutuk tapi dah malas...heheh...

why no entry for the past week? this is why, discovered my PS2 can work...im hooked on need for speed.... 2, ive got a buddy from work that i bitch with about life every night on msn.... 3, care-giving to 2 scooters is time consuming.... 4, im trying to reach my goal... so see, mr vicious is keeping himself bz....so tts why the silence. i cant be bothered anymore, id do anything tt pleases me, fuck yall out there...heheh
lame sak tt last sentence....

listen up, wen i said it, i mean it kay....so wat are u? dumbfuck?

sorri

sorri if i appeared rude....didnt mean to....

she smsed but she doesnt seem interested in sunday.....well watever....

im having a whale of a time with my frens....i love my frens......i hope sunday will be a great day, its my off day.....i hate boring off days....1 day of the week, tts all the fun i can have for a full 24hours so please i do not want to be disappointed....

ive been reading super-street(a street race car mag) almost everyday now....not real reading just browsing thru the parts, accesories and wicked body-kits and decals.... i got a feeling id get a car in the next few years, once i get my license tt is....i got a feeling i cant afford any of my dream car and would settle for something like GETz and fully mod it with body kits and accessories.....doing up the engine is not worth it, cos its illegal in sg, probably just a turbo-charger cos tts the safest and probably a phat exhaust and maybe lightweight transmissions....ooops....

if u see a wicked getz or mini-cooper with wicked body kits n decals, tts probably mine, with boba fett on its sides....

ok guys wanna bitch abt life with my online buddy...adios....