im a moron

urrghh......i have some fucked up feelings that id rather keep to myself....cos if i were to blurt it out....i guess id be a laughing stock of many.....

responsibility is such a burden.....but as a growing MAN...i have to face it....in my new store..i was given the huge responsibility of managing the grocery department, and sales would depend on my peformance....that sure suck big time cos im a newbie....and i have such a huge responsibility over most possibly the top n biggest department..that makes up a huge percentage of the daily sales....wtf....stress....stress...

another responsibility....paying off the 900bucks left for my bike, mthly bills, etc.. fuyoh.....every day i work just to see the money disappear...hehehe.....but cant help it, i love caramella so....

now.....wat to do on the pre off day.....sigh....damn bored sak, nuthin to do...dammit.

stories

evrytime i went to tong aik, auntie sure have stories to tell one....i park my boba a distance away so that she wont ask questions...but she somehow sensed im not riding a vespa, so she went out to look and saw my spanking boba.....she asked where i got it and why dun buy spares from her?...she asked where i got my 50cc-visor...i said desmond....she went on....'that monyet?' hahaha.....she said desmond lies, and she sells that same item for 30bucks instead of 35bucks, if its true, shes the cheapest cos i know tai hin sells at 35 as well.....she goes on...who recommends me la, etc... she said desmond is the son of tai hin.....he opens his little shop to go against them and to compete.....she says he's crazy....as she is at the peak of criticizing poor desmond i took advantage of the situation and said if she can order nexus or gilera ice bracket and she offered a dirt cheap price, nexus for less that 50bucks but i have to do my own modifications and she will check out with piaggio for my gilera ice....coolness... gotta take her word and make sure she gives me a good deal....

about boba...i will not spend much on accessories but rather im working on the performance, cos i want to do tricks on it....im a skater who outgrows his skateboard and seeks other forms of adrenalin rush.

performance wise, desmond said....
1. power filter really make a difference BUT, it is hard to set, u have to set everything from piston, carb, jets, etc....and its hard to achieve the perfect setting but it can be done...and since the filter is exposed, it is easily stolen. AND during rain it does block the air....and thus slows down ur bike drastically as less O2 means less combustion.

2. changing ur spark plug cables plus head does relatively increase the power. it works this way, it gives out more powerful sparks thus forcing the piston to move at a speed faster than normal thus achieving greater torque and speed.....BUT there is a side effect, through prolong use, the piston might cease due to excessive sparks that might burn a hole right at the center of the head.

yeye ive made a sticker of boba fett for my right side! yeah...itd be ready tumoro!!! yeay! cant wait.

tumoro onwards ill be at queenstown...hope the ppl over there is fine....

cheers frens who read....gd luck with the knowledge i shared.

watever....

watever....hahahahaha .......dats it bye2 adios, slamat malam, nandre, arigato gozaimas.......sid kau eh cam sial tau....peh jubo....LoL...... i wanna order kilts....anyone got lobang?....hahahahahahahahahhahahahahha. too cranky slept the whole night must b cos tt idiot left all his job for me to do wen he went off for course! bitch......a blog is meant for me to vent out.....i guess i gotta make it private so only approved peepz can read.....watever it is, seems like watever i do isnt right, so i bitch about...but not lies, all truth...never i lie in my blog in fact i never lie to almost anyone, cos i dun see a point, a lie leads to another....adios amigos.... gua mau download lagu......hehe my fren commented, sejap lagu nigger, jap lagu rock, jap rancid, jap slayer.....eh gua punya suka ar...gua punyer dunia, mana sedap pada gua, gua dengar....im a rockstar in my own world....hahahaha......pe saje aku bebel nie.... lin biler kau keje? aku nak beli benda ar.......mankey jng lupa sms aku.....

im fine....no i meant im fined

fuck ya cisco bitchass.....u caused me 8 bucks mothafucka......shit gotta get that season parking shit, they are coming in more frequent, god damn motha fucka....

hello boba

ive got a new name for my gilly....i call it boba.....taken from boba fett.... bounty hunter.... im gonna mod boba up to have characteristics of a bounty hunter, sleek & fast & sharp.....

the pack of gilly boys are becoming more of frens now.....we began to talk more freely and jokes suddenly just emerge....laughters was a good sign that we are actually bonding and not just getting together jus cos we ride the same bike....imagine 7 gillies zooming in and out of traffic.....fun is an understatement...... the thing is we shared....when i met syed it was pleasant as he shared where he did his mods n wat not to do on my 4stroke boba....

this new 'hobby' of mine will definitely burn a hole in my pocket...but im adult enough to control myself, and probably just burn a tiny weenie hole.....this is my way of entertaining myself, making myself happy....while others go out with their other half on a picnic or a movie....i roam the streets with the boys...chill, laughters and machine talk & updates....

i hope when boba is fully modded up, im able to do more tricks on him....ive always wanted to endo, wheelie and do donuts....its the radical 'enzymes' in me, i cant help it....

work is pretty fine except at times it gets dead boring and monotonous...and i wonder if this is wat i wanna do for the rest of my life ...NO is the definite answer...im waiting for dear BEN to accept me in the company or other employers to take notice of my resume....i still wanna do engineering or design cos im fascinated with machines & animations....i like to create......

to some ppl out there......ure beginning to piss me off.....just fark off n leave me alone.....get out of here.....and dont falsify things....i hate to bitch...but i have too....ure all motherfucken fakes, one minute ure this, the next ure a piece of shit.
wtf are u doing in my chapter? fuck off from my scene if u wanna carry on like this. im sick n tired...understand?

long wait.....worth it

it certainly is fucken worth it, the long wait...shahreil ure one lucky bugger..finally u got a job and it pays well....damn u.....ure so lucky....me, im still searching.... well, i got a job...but its not paying me enough......i need more......so annie get my dream job...and make my dream come true....or john from MTV ask me to do more animations for mtv or in another word....gimme a job.....thatll be a dream job.... but else ben! choose me....and gimme that loads of ot..... im hoping....hoping damn many-many....hehehe.....need to be driving my nsx....hehehe.....dreams....could be just dreams or reality.....mine, i want it to become a reality.....wish me luck guys.. to shahreil congrats....looks like ull be tying the know with yati pretty soon eh? congrats bro.....

weird

just wen i was abt to pull out from everytin....sms came again...but too bad i was sound asleep.....

engineering? is it wat i really wanna do? i got a feeling the pay is going to be good after the interview but then again i actually fear, fear of taking the responsibility bcos its a taxing job...not physically but everything.....i was scheduled for an interview at 4pm but apparently the engineer,ben was on site and could not make it so at the last minute they called me to come at 6pm. even at 6pm ben wasnt in the office, patience.......i waited, almost dozed off cos i was dead tired......then ben came in, in coveralls all sweaty....he explained....the job....how late sometimes u have to stay and it scares me.....my basic is pretty good and if i work ot its 10bucks per hour, pretty good nuff. now im just deciding.....whether to take up the GREAT challenge or just chicken away and wait for annie to give me another suitable job......i wonder if i should sacrifice my freedom for the sake of money and slug all day 6 days a week and probably more than 12hours a day.....or not....i want a balance life not slug all my life for money....well i dunno....ill decide upon wat he will offer me...anyways, there were only 3 shortlisted and im the lucky one to get to meet the engineer.......tis is probably the only job that provides the most challenge... projects...etc....whoah.....

meanwhile gotta catch up on sleep....meanwhile im a supermarket supervisor....harhar.

yani...call me tomoro....still wanna chit chat with u like before....i think our conversations play apart to my well being....i miss talking to u nurse yani....:)

how dumb can i be?

shouldnt have been so naive....shouldnt trust....should always be cautious....i know its not going to happen but i was optimistic and i tried to instill positive thinking into my hard shell....but truth prevails...that the species are hard to predict and sometimes even trust....so here i am almost dipping myself into a pot of boiling oil, except i was early enough to pull myself out.....but the force draws me back luring me by the sight of gleaming golden boiling oil......i shall not be so dumb to fall prey to the trap that they so enjoy to place....lure u into the beautiful sight only burning yourself in the process just like the moths that were attracted to the candle flames...
so bright so gleaming, so beautiful yet harmful when get in too near or deep....thats life.

enough of negativity.....back to positivity...ive been offered a position of engineering position at a local company....i think i could get 1.5k basic minimum... i hope ben is kind enough to accept me. and this would indeed be a breakthrough in my life. if im successful soon enough ill be like some of my frens, living a comfortable life....if at least i have wealth id think less of loneliness....

gotta sleep but i couldnt, im overly excited about the possible change thats going to happen....

yani, i dig u but too bad things not working out...frens is fine with me...1 thing i hate....why u n ur species cant just be frank? would it hurt?.....

gnite peepz

if u cursed me, congrats...

tt was the nick on my msn....but anyways my gilly is fine....the problem was the wires somewhere was loose....i dunno how it became loose...but anyways all i care is i dun have to pay a single cent, except my cab fare....12bucks sak...to collect my bike..

mom, still havent got her scan results...tumoro ill go down, hopefully by then they have some answers.....

dear girl....i like u but somehow u decide to change ur mind and ignore me instead... its ok....im used to rejection...but dun treat me so good in the first place then reject later la...that i hate....anyways, theres always retribution...enjoy it...cheers

oh omel i know u meant well but i think u dun really know her well enough...bt thnks anyways for ruining my week...

cheers everyone no harm intended adios.....next mth ill get that pair of NIKES

oh before i leave annie called again, i might be called up for an interview for EA position at sungei kadut...i hope i get it....back to engineering bye bye supermarket.

its the everything went wrong week.

1st mom got admited....suspected jaundice....further check up suspected stone in gul bladder....recomended surgery, remove the infected bladder AKA hep c. to date, nothing is confirmed yet, scan results not out yet.

2ndly, bike decide to break down, NEW bike some more....i dunno wat went wrong...

3rdly, someone i tot i would be closely suddenly changed...i dunno wat i did wrong but she has shown some signs that she is avoiding me.

4thly, bike brokedown, means money out for towing and possible repair costs.....so ppl please understand.

life suck this week, im under pressure and stress.....so pls dun add on to it... an you pls no more la omel...i give up....frens is fine....

i love my new ringtone

its the season of the title has got nothing to do with the entry.....

anyways....i learn alot of things today, as a result of asking alot of questions... today mom has to be admited bcos the doctor suspected she has jaundice.....but then i learnt something new from the hospital.....jaundice is a symptom for hep c. or liver hepatitis.....again its not confirmed yet....its only cos of the blood samples they took....watever it is i hope mom's going to be fine.....see ya tumoro mom...

at the bike shop i learn some more things....new workshops, tips, n know hows bcos i ask questions...i learnt that 2stroke are more suitable for funplay...its torquey.. but then, its not that reliable....2ndly speakers need to be fitted outside for clarity. 3rdly, oil change is only necessary after 5000km....

i miss my nurse....hmm but i dunno if she still bothers....im overly paranoid, thnks to all of u out there who contributed to my change......i lost trust in the opposite gender ever since and its hard fer me to trust them...especially when they behave suspiciously.....but im trying to reformat my hard drive to clean out the negativities......at least tis time round im not that paranoid and i never have stupid assumptions......

oh i bought a pair of shoes finally.....JUG, short for juggernaut....i love it until i realised it sponsors inline skaters...hahaha......but who cares....its nice and affordable......id get a nike next mth....not this month...

sorry guys gotta continue with my laundry...c ya ard....oh, i miss u, pls call me tonight kay?.....:)

supercalifragilisticexpialadocious

heheheh......U made my day yest.....by meeting me up....

she was gorgeous......its the first time we really went out together....and she is gorgeous......cuteness...like her laughters....softspoken....funny.....and kind....
she doesnt smoke, doesnt club, doesnt drink.....shes close to perfect........of course i would like her....

but its too soon to say....and i dont wanna rush in like i did before....for now i just hope she feels the same way.

but yest i did a couple of dumb things...firstly i accidentaly stepped on her sandals, then when ordering food....i forgot she dont eat seafood due to allergies....i bought her fried kway teow which had cockles in them....she had to pick them out and put on my plate....hehehe....i made her walk all over orchard for the sake of buying my pair of shoes....hehehe.....i failed to convince her that i could send her home and its not a hassle... i ran out of ideas of where to go... well u cant blame me, its a last minute thingy...cos adil canceled my date with him...tts wen i decided to give her call and ask her out at the last hour.....

i think im beginning to like her....cos now it seems like im addicted to her, but i dun wanna be a nuisance, so i shall relax a little but like shahreil said "jng tunggu lama2 nanti diambil orng" tt particular phrase is very true indeed....see its not that easy......hmmmppfftt.....

today a 2nd day to hunt fer my shoes....yest i didnt find anything i like within my budget...i have to be considerate too, to some ppl out there...so i shall not overspend.

waddafuckarooneykerplunkerputyveronydocious

in my attempt to make something last just like the title of my entry, the longest word.
wat da fuck im blabbering about? well just as i was bragging about my yeayness last night, theres sure something to spoil the mood for the great week.....

now i know how it feels to be judged wrongFOOLy.......i never make use of ppl for everyones info....i think im the one that had been victimized, manipulated, humiliated, etc, etc most of the time......i wish i could get a certificate or something to prove my innocence and slap it at anyones faces who has negative tots against me. weird but im not at all angry....im just upset...at the misconception.....

had i not been helping ppl ard me when they need help??? i did.....when im able to... am i right frens?.....why not think with ur brain before u sputter out negativity....

hmm....seems like i have to forgo some of the yeayness i listed last night.....hmmmpfft
but anyways, i have to oblige cos caramella is part of my life now.......i tot we had an agreement...but sometimes shit happens so i always get the task of cleaning the shit up......

i find that im rather calm nowadays...im more able to control my anger and think with my brain.....at work, my colleagues apparently trying to make me look or feel like a dumb fuck....but i just remained calm...smiled and take out my AK47 and blast them with words that kills, full of sarcasm and yet may sound harmless...so its out to them to conclude whether im joking or im just telling them "AYE FUCK U UNDERSTAND!" in a different language.

but then again....we gotta appreciate some fucked upness in life...else life will be rather boring and predictable.....think again....those who have perfect lives isnt it boring? without problems to solve....with missing full or adrenalin & energy feelings like anger, hatred...........hehehe...

gotta go guys, today is one day away to my off day....have to do some calculations before i enjoy the weekends...gotta budget my mth properly to avoid having to survive on a can of coke only at lunch times like last mth....heheheh.....cheers brothas...

alot of yeays for this week!!!

not in any order....
1st yeay, ive got a new fren
2nd yeay, sunday i swop shifts with a fren, meaning saturday i can sleep late.
3rd yeay, tumoro im on half day course...so i start work pretty late...sleep late again
4th yeay, my animation for mtv is one of those selected and im invited to noisesingapore launch....my work will be featured...
5th yeay, i bought a boba fett decal which will go on to my gilly.
6th yeay, ive lost weight a little
7th yeay, saturday is bike servicing day, i can blast already....
8th yeay, i got some money left for a new pair of shoes, my vans got lobang oredi.

more yeays could be coming...but for now tts that.....this week is happy week, though workload is doubled....im tired, shagged out and i never scored any goals at last night's soccer session.....

bz as bee

seems like im rather bz nowadays with work and other stuffs....

over the weeks ive made new frens...the gilera peepz....they are pretty ok but im still not comfortable with them yet...but overall they are ok and fun to be with.....but that doesnt mean i neglect my old frens....i still do hang out with them....and for other frens i still do meet up and call once in awhile like zack, osman, nazli, etc....

yest just yest, ive made another new fren.....my fren is a she....hehehe...a nurse... n we've never stopped talking since....hmmm....i dunno la but it seems we can get along pretty well....its too soon to say...bt im happy....

and osman pls ar, stop making me crazy over rcs again...im not going to spend a bomb and burn a hole in my pocket over cars again...unless i got that senoko job...heheh...

until then....adios gotta go....got a date with adil...

black sabbath

one of my fav black sabbath song dated back to 1972:

~Changes(volume 4-1972)

I feel unhappy
I feel so sad
I lost the best friend
That I ever had

She was my woman
I loved her so
But it's too late now
I've let her go

I'm going through changes
I'm going through changes

We shared the years
We shared each day
In love together
We found a way

But soon the world
Had its evil way
My heart was blinded
Love went astray

I'm going through changes
I'm going through changes

It took so long
To realize
That I can still hear
Her last goodbyes
Now all my days
Are filled with tears
Wish I could go back
And change these years

I'm going through changes
I'm going through changes

More WTFs Part Deux

I misplaced an important equipment P.O.T(portable ordering terminal)...its costly but lucky enough my boss is kind...but im still paranoid of the consequences....though my colleagues say its ok...n the case is closed oredi since its a spare one.

I gave them a breakfast treat this morning after stocktake........slept till 2pm before heading to JB.....on the way back the kakak was so fierce....to the abang who was riding a GoldWing....he carried extra packs of ciggies....she said"beli moto besar mampu....." hahahahh....my turn....she never said anything...after checking my compartments...she gave a stern "OK!" heheh....i rode off....gigglish....

went to fix my gilly a new low wind screen......desmond was busy, so i browsed thru the shop next door...before a call came from some agency...for engineering firms... she offered me 2 jobs....one as a draftsman at Defu and as a technician for oil pumps at Tuas....both I guess will pay relatively well, i stated my expected salary is no less than 1.4k as I already got 1.5 at NTUC.......she said she will call me when the companies wants me for an interview, she asked my availability and how soon can i leave if say the company accepts me...tt sounds good and promising....im still considering....ill go for both interviews if there is, ill demand more for my value has indeed increased to 1.4k basic....but at the same time, im planning my career path as well. say if they offer 1.3 max but a carreer path is clear enough better than NTUC, I would go for it....i would want to be some engineer someday...and this is the route.... sacrificing 100-200 bucks a mth might be well worth it....thnks god.

now 3 jobs waiting.....1 EA at zahida's company, 2. Draftsman at Defu. 3.Techician at Tuas.

more WTFs

as i mount my bike ready to go....an sms reached my mobile....bling*.....i checked the sms wen im home.....a forwarded gd nite sms....i was like wtf u thinkin?....here goes another wtf to another person........cant b bothered....watever la eh...crap....

gnite peepz....tumoro....a visor for my gilly and prob check out how caramellas doin..

wtf were u thinking sak?

i mean cmmon....do u think im that dumb?....im honest alright....plain right i am... bloody fuck im so fucken honest that sometimes i get a little harst...but do u think im that dumb meh? wat the fuck im talkin bout u mightve asked? well some things are better left untold....

to my frenz.....hmm wen are we going to be racing like NFSU?...hehehe....thatll be the day man, wen i blast galvanize thru the booms....i hope we'll be there one day... i believe we could, for we all are brilliant ppls only not provided with an opportunity..

work....ok la....some old fag is trying to hook up with a colleague of mine...sending stupid smses...wtf..wake up ur idea la....she's ur daughter's age...though she's colleague...stupid old dumb fag....and u gurl...i guess u overeacted a little although his actions actually disgusted me.....n u the tall arab(i guess or dkk) colleague... as days past, as the more i see u...i find that ure rather cute but dun get me wrong, im not attracted....hahaha.........

pays coming in....but money gotta leave the fucken bank....gotta pay off caramella's boob job...ooops i meant repair job....ehhehehe...n gotta pay off my instalments... and i promised myself to give mommy more this month, and i promised myself to save a little...so end up, this month i cant spend again...wtf!......patience siddiq, patience...heheheh.....ur time will come....:)

i wanna visit nenek next week....miss her...wanna hug her...nenek dun get me wrong.. sidek a little bz nek...and sidek dun feel good visiting u empty handed....c ya ard nek....:).....

father....i dunno why u chose ur life like that...but i still wish u were still ard for me.....i made a promise to myself....id never let my kid in my shoes.....

life's improving...really...but i need exercise, i tire too easily...im becoming a little too weak...sid wasnt like this...sid was a tough cookie back at canadians, working 12hours 6 days a week in a hot kitchen and still being able to move the hips that fast....hahaha........sorri for being a little too open...c ya ard guys... adios
gotta look for that ma'jun mankey's eating...he said it gavev him stamina..h...hehe

viciously as is.....

been riding my gilly....fun...beginning to neglect caramella....but shes still on my mind, in fact id give a call to check on how shes doing....nope gilly and caramella are not girls....girls are not so simple to handle....muahahah.....corny sak...

anyways....work is like a roller coaster ride, one minute good, one minute fucked up, one minute interesting, one minute god damn boring.....id stay at this firm, for the sake of my future and mom....for at least a year, where ive gained experience to move on or if i begin to feel comfortable id stay longer and probably opt to apply for an inside(HQ) job where its less on operations and more on planning...call me ambitious but a person without ambitions doesnt exist...its only a matter of how big are ur goals. i had an ambition last time but was cut abrupt by someone i love, she told me to stop dreaming...and face reality...well, my dream couldve been a reality but i guess a slim chance to make it possible....till this day back of mind, that dream still exist. its nothing much actually, ive always dreamt of setting up something of my own...im the kind that never had the resources or motivational drives to make it, i have to do it all by myself to make it happen....it doesnt matter how long id take but before i leave this world i want to leave a name, a name where my children would be proud of...that kinda thing....

for now, i still havent diminished the feel for enjoyment and fun....so i have to give and take....i have to balance out and manage everything properly....that is to be fair to myself...i wanna make myself happy but at the same time, i dont want to be lagging behind...i wanna keep on moving....thoughts is nothing until the task is carried out.....thats why ive been blabbering less of dreams cos i know im not going to carry it out now....

this year itself 3 of my frens have got a kid....din, osman and shai....im happy to see them so proud of their family...no matter how low their pay is, they managed to survive...theres always a way when theres a will.....their smiles, their joy is priceless....money in this case proves to be not the only thing in life....im not saying im not materialistic at all...i am a little...but puhleese...stop it u guys out there...mebbe probably its bcos ive never had a perfect family...mebbe thats why i think thatll be the ultimate thing i will have.......mebbe bcos most of u fellows have such a perfect one that ud forget about it and think more about assets, cars, money and stocks...wtf....

my lifestyle has changed a little....mebbe its cos of work....but all in all im still the same...only thing i show less emotion i guess its back to square one, where i kept everything to myself and just break down in my sleep when i needed too....its not convenient to talk it out anymore, i don't seem to trust anyone anymore...i only trust my mom but i never want to burden her and get her worried.....frens, its not that i dont trust u guys, its just that personal stuffs to me, are now meant to be personal...so if i have mood swings bear with me....and if i decide to share pls have a listening ear, thats all i ask for....

i guess im whining too much, its the 6th paragraph and i got lots more to say... im just curious...about my future that is....will i live my dream or not.....:)