im a jerk, then and now

i was trying to find a space in my drawers where i could lock my precious macbook away. why u would ask? 1st theres only 3hours of lesson + 1 hour paper later so im lazy to bring it along as i know i would head home straight after squeezing the juices of my brain. 2ndly my stepdad isnt working today and i jus dont trust him cos once before he 'intruded' into my room and 'borrowed' stuffs while i was at work.....he got the IFS(itchy fingers syndrome).

ok so back to the drawers....i cant find the other key to the 2nd drawer cos i hid it, sheesh i just realised im like rowan atkinson's character mr.bean. so no choice the only drawer left with a key, so i opened, i saw the blue adidas box and the smell of stale papers lingered to my nose, i couldnt resist but to open it and rumble thru old letters and fotos, then only did i realise tt i was kinda a little jerk back then and now im a different kinda jerk. i actually broke hearts unknowingly. i dont wanna do that anymore, i guess i dont want in another relationship for now until the final and last one which would lead to marriage for now, i guess at least for this 2years(which 3mths had already passed) i'd rather stay single than break more hearts.

i cant deny tt most of the time i was the one being hurt(which now i believe i do kinda cause it too) in the past but i didnt realised i did hurt ppl too and now im doing it again but this time, the hurt is to prevent further damage.

this beautiful ramadhan, pls accept my apologies to all who i have hurt or pissed off in any way or another, knowing and unknowingly. i guess if my frens were to write letters or blog like me, i guess i wouldve also discovered tt sometimes i behave like a male-bitch whom they tolerated.

currently i think im unworthy for any love from anyone. all apologies from the bottom of my heart. im sorry. hate me if u will.