contradicting....irony....sigh

i dunno wats happening....i dunno, im lost....

i cant say it out, im uncertain and i think im being rather unfair....

lets drop tt, back to my progress... im doing fine but rather but kinda lagging behind a little but im glad that im learning new things each and everyday.....today there was an exhibition by the advance dip ppl and seeing them really inspires me more to become a nurse and in a couple of years time, i wanna be there too, studying further into medicine.....

this nursing course actually makes me wonder how the doctors are able to remember everything....theres so much thing to the body.....i really admire them.....if i would be able to turn back time, i wouldve study hard and even if not tt far, i wouldve opted for nursing rather than engineering.....its much more interesting....and its working with ur ownself, ur own body.....although some of the duties of a nurse is rather 'dirty' as some ppl would say(m refering to cleaning after the client defecate etc) im not taken back by tt, rather i see as helping another soul who cant help themselves and for all i know, it would be temporary, if i work hard enough, i wouldnt have to clean so much...hahah, my juniors would........and some of the duties really makes me wonder if i could actually do it on a live person....like for example putting on a ureasheath(a condom like thingy for the incontinent) on a real patient. heres a dummy....hehhe
imagine this, i will have to actually touch another person's penis.....oh my gawd......but hey its part and parcel of being a nurse.

exams approaching soon and stress level is beyond description but im adapting well to it, though not in a healthy manner. im eating more and sleeping more.....geesh....the healthy way would be to exercise but time forbids me to do so.......and the push ups i do is only adding mass to me and not making me loose the fats, i need to jog again once exams are over.....ive gained 5kg in since july....wah lau wei, tts like a kg each mth.....im overweight alright i need to loose at least 10kg......i will before my 27th birthday, believe me i will.......

hmm i hope u enjoy my entry, ud be seeing less of it or probably the opposite as exams approaching in 3 weeks time.....
got a couple of assessments next week, mostly on skills....wish me luck frens......