the silent killer

many things u can relate with the phrase 'the silent killer' it could also be a noun. in matters of the heart, the silent killer is the most painful of all.....why ignore, why deny the truth, why lie? this form of rejection is the worst kind ever. its better to be frank right? like me? im frank mebbe tts why a fren of mine told me, when im nice, im real nice but when im nasty, im horrible.....i told her, im not nasty, im frank. my names not frank but im frank....hahah lame....

anyways, im immune to hurt, umpteen times...ive been thru its ok, i can deal with it. anger is just a waste of energy so why not laugh it off? there are frens who care, ppl ard me who care.....im just picky...id rather be with....

i turned down the peterpan concert for many reasons....frankly(again) i do want to go and i could if i dun eat at work anymore like wat ive been doing i survive on a bottle of heaven and earth jasmine green tea and rejected products for the past few days... but then again, theres many factors tt still stops me from going.....1, i want to get my brother a bdae present tt is meaningful or mebbe bring him out...2, cos tt someone doesnt want to go, 3. cos i might need to borrow money in the end, 4. cos i want to finish up paying caramella, 5. cos i dun feel comfortable with ppl i dunno, 6. if all the points sums up to pull me back from telling gum, yes i wanna go book for me a tix as well...

sacrifices yet again, tis is life for me....sacrifices yet and yet again.......many might not see...the things i buy mightve blinded them from the sacrifices i made.. but i couldve sacrificed more....right? surely all of u would ask....why indulge then if u say so...the answer is, i have a life too, life is short, i already compromised i already gave in where i could so just give me some face....

another matter in life is, help.....do expect anything in return when u help? no? good, i dun too....but i dun expect to be shut out so suddenly....wat telah happen?
nevermind its ok....

today im faced with another test...of how strong n determined i am to pursue what i really want...again, ppl are nice to me....i was late for work...everyones waiting for me the keyholder to open the shutters....then the chief cashier struck a conversation which i tot was abt me being late but i misinterpreted, it was abt a cashier....then my boss' voice came from his office, siddiq....i tot i was going to be reprimanded yet again at my daring and risky attempt to achieve sales target but he offered me 2 'kuehs' instead "siddiq u makan already? eat ar this, halal one..." he made me feel guilty.....i said thank you politely, accepting the 'kuehs'. i know if i were to leave the store because of a new job i have no choice but if i were to leave without notice, id feel bad...i know the store needs me but if i have to leave, i will.....i dunno how i wanna tell them.....ive gained everyone's trust and ive actually made them think that i can work there and i can perform...and they least expect me to leave.....but im sorry, i have to, if i have better opportunities...