very. cos u forgot what u said last time.
Confirmed Mental
Good week this week....I pray so it carries on.....
I got confirmed today! woots! 7 days early my supposed confirmation date. Time flies I'm almost 6months old at IMH!
Speaking of flying....I'll be flying in April....woots! A week in Phuket! Can't wait.....
get noticed
The work smart thingy is coming into play.
Like today for instance, you retaliate nicely, then you say thanks and nobody even noticed your rebellion. I was just defending myself and being firm and not let be stepped on.
Getting noticed is another factor you need to consider, if you have opinions blurt it out. Well of course favourable ones. I just did at the talk and boy I was sure glad I did cos I got backed by a Nurse-clinician(a managerial level nurse who educates fellow nurses and colleagues).
I think I will attend more talks and probably have my own journal presentation. Of course it requires alot of work but if you do a good job, I'm sure you'd be spotted of your capabilities and probably stand a chance of climbing higher....
Unsleep
Yes...I'm suppose to be sleeping. I will soon....
Sigh....I just don't know....yeah maybe I should try to be more aware, conscious, rather than just think from my own perspective....
Yes, indeed I was a little selfish.....but still I wish...
Yes, I am serious, no joke.
Gnite all......So lazy to go to work tumoro, actually contemplating to take PH. Ouh nevermind, ill just drag myself to work tumoro....
itsy bitsy
Somehow i do believe every itsy bitsy things that happen does have a relation to the next of some sort....u know like the 'blessing in disguise' thingy or something liddat.
For instance today was suppose to meet up with mom but something crops up, she have to send my stepfather to the hospital.
Do you know, the higher you climb, when or IF you fall there's alot more damage done.
Anyways, I am going back to sleep....there's a pinch of disappointment in me but I can understand and I can get over it.....Good night everyone....
Life
Life has been rather busy lately....and it does help a little cos my Ain is away in Bkk. Today she will touch down Sg at about 2000hrs and yet again, I can't welcome her arrival cos of my shift duties. Missed her alot and looking forward to seeing her tomorrow....Yest's short chat on msn, really meant alot, cos it made me realize how much I really miss her.
My workload has been stabilized however, I'm always taking the risk at stuffs....there's a couple of things I still am not sure about but somehow I always pull it off...Ouh no worries, it has got nothing to do with patients, its the administrative stuffs......Yeah, nurses have to do all the shit too. We should have more allied workers, a clerk in our ward would help alot....definitely. But not having one also pushes my potential and shows the superiors I can multi-task.
Speaking of which, my senior-nurse manager just spoke to me last week, a brief conversation of how he wants to 'groom' me and hopes I will come back to forensic. He did mention about the sponsored degree, this morning it just came to mind, a couple of factors....
Will I be able to cope? Will I do well? Will I burn out? Will I be able to get guarantors to sign?
Of course the thought of getting sponsored is sweet but in actual fact, you are under alot of pressure to perform well and exceed expectations of many people and of course the extended bond, which is another risk that you have to take.
Ouh wells, I'd try not to think to much.....I'd only think of it when the time comes.....
Another issue came up to mind, the class3, initially with Ain, I don't see a need but then again, when I went out with Shahreil, Leo and Lil' Ryan last Thursday got me thinking....It will come in handy one day....
The Book
I was typing a long entry before I decided to delete it off. I think I am not there yet to write an entry something like that. However, I'll just write a short one to it.
Life is more than just skin deep, look further, look for your purpose, realize your responsibilities.
There's a reason for everything, there's a cause for everything, there's a lesson to be learned in everything.
Take that veil of your eyes, remove your hands from your ears, open up your heart.
Register what you see, hear and feel.
Eliminate all negativities, replace them with positivities. (this is still hard to accomplish totally)
The Fast Track
I've always enjoyed speed and apparently it's applying to my career path also(well at least the current one).
Amongst my batch, I can say I am one of the slower one to progress, my then classmates from engineering are now mostly there already. Car, family and own house....you get the picture. I screw up in the middle so I chose a different path, which I am glad I did.
Although as much as I don't want to blog something that is not confirmed yet, I can't resist but to blog on this one. I am a happy bunny today...
I was nominated for a couple of workgroups and now seminars. I was complaining a little about the increasing workload and the daily stressors until a couple of hours ago. In the morning my new nurse-manager actually told me it's good that I am exposing myself to the workgroups and all and advise me to strive further since I am still young(compared to him). He was like giving me encouragements and actually proud of me(fellow moslem, I must say). That already made my day but it did not stop there...My senior nurse manager wanted to talk to me bout the same issue as well but he was busy....Ok that's not it either....My other nurse-manager on afternoon shift talked to me just before I left, he said, they(the managers) are putting me on the 'fast-track'. I don't what to say but to thank them....although it is not confirmed yet but I can imagine where I am heading too....Alhamdullilah....
Now, I just pray I don't screw up and I pray for my health and well-being and may God grant me my wishes and probably not only make me happy but the ppl around me as well, like mom. InsyahAllah....
I need to put in more effort to make this all a reality.....wish me luck all....
The real 'culprit'
So there were we sending off Taibah and Azmin on their journey to Aussie which I've yet to go. It's good that I am accepted in Ain's circle of friends. That I am glad cos sometimes the tension can come from friends from either side.
So anyways, we had Popeye's piping hot(phew) chicken, was not cold like Ain said when she had them a couple of days ago. I didn't eat anything the whole day till popeyes, could you believe it? Wasn't hungry, was just tired and sleepy over the 2 night duties.
So after sending them off, we all went our separate ways...Hairul & Ross were heading to the floorball match, which we both were really not keen on. So something struck my mind that instance, something I had always wanted to tell Ain but haven't find the moment. It is about how it all started, where it all began. I was having this conversation on msn with Ross a couple of days ago, was like 'interrogating' her as to why she(&Hairul) chose to introduce me and not her other friends to Ain. It was really unexpected and I had no clue that such things would drive them to do so. I think it was fate.
So here the story goes....I brought Ain to Changi Coastal Boardwalk, telling her I wanted to tell her a story, something bout the place. It was only there that I said, "Ouh this is where it all started.." She had no clue still and I explained further and she was shocked....
It was there where it all started...It was the camera heads day out to shoot sunset. I was mad about sunset back then. I just had to capture every sunset with my film cameras. Little did I realize I was the only ancient one that is still shooting films that day. So as I happily whip out my loads of variety of film cameras, mainly lomos, Ross actually took notice of it and she recalled Ain had the same kinda of cameras. She told Hairul and the rest of the girls I guess which led to Hairul giving me Ain's friendster account a couple of days(?) later....which led to my never ending tries, which led to our hands finally being enclasped together finally.
I know its only been 2weeks but I've never loved you more, it grew day by day and I hope it will continue doing so in this journey of ours.
The Real 'Culprit'the bestest
This period of time, is the bestest so far....
I've never felt so loved for such a long time...
We could just sit there for hours with the breeze blowing upon our faces just staring into space, speechless, quiet moments.
Love can do wonders.
Thanks.
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Who would've expected, who would've guessed, I didn't either...
But somehow everything seemed to fall into place just naturally, like me moving to the east.
But actually there's unknown help from the friends and of course the One above. Thank you.
off balance
I think im a little of balance...I'm glad I realize and I gotta kick myself in the rear again.
I've been enjoying life for the past few months...I've lived my dreams of racing, I've had the bike I always wanted. In short I fulfilled my wants, I enjoyed myself and yes it was hard-earned. And now its time for a hard-earned future.
I need to start planning, CPF only is definitely not sufficient. What I need now is to plan my expenditures and be balanced. I am forgoing alot of stuffs nowadays to accomodate, to try to balance. At my current state, I almost have everything I wanted/needed. I even have someone already.
I guess come my confirmation, it's time to start saving and probably investing, it's long overdue for someone turning 30 but yet its not too late.
I think(think only), I might forgo the class3 first, for I don't really see a need now. But then again....ouh let's drop the subject first....LoL
Anyways, I don't la...hehehe all I know is I'm looking forward to Tuesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
sleepless
I hope after this late entry I could sleep.
Anyway, went to watch Mystery Jets with Ain. It was a splendid performance minus my aching knee. They were good live and kudos to the lead being disabled and all and still able to make such good music. I hope Ain enjoyed it 100% cos my knee didn't permit me to stand for long due to the fall last race.
Anyways I'm the happiest now, hearing all that came from Ain, finally she's enabled to let it out, speak it out, express. :)
I'm happy with you, we were brought together somehow, someway, we ended up together. I gotta thank Hairul one of these days. :)
Gnite peeps will try to sleep....probably after Mafia wars and supermoto.sg
Not a necessity
I don't need to be envious of something that is not a necessity. With this in mind, I will save myself alot of unnecessary pressure, stress and many more emotions so not needed, mainly the negativities.
But to be envious of certain stuffs does make a person driven. Then again it boils down to limits.
Okok, so in racing...looks & blings are secondary, speed, reliability of the monster between your legs is first. This applies to life too...you NEED a roof over your head not a castle, you might NEED a car not a Bentley or a Beemer. See where I am heading? It's just me, telling myself all these so that I can save some moolahs for my savings and as well to indulge in my speed-driven hobby.
K, nuff crap...
My knee's bothering me, not wearing that proper brace was the biggest mistake...I could've prevented it. I learned my lesson....Ain was right, I learn the hard way...LoL
But isn't that what makes a man stronger? LoL...ok I know crap...LoL
I can't wait to be well again....so I can run...loose some pounds and get that edge in my 2009 Championship rounds...I'm hoping to get top 5 by the end of the season, I wanted to say podium but I try not to be too ambitious.
I am hoping for an increment come my confirmation and I hope I get a big bonus come July, so I can save half for my future and half to soup up my suzee end of the year. I wanna be in the novice category next year....I wanna challenge the big boys...
I just hope supermoto will rise to a new level and gets recognition as a sport not just maniacs on engine driven monsters...LoL
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I find that, I'm much more calm than years back...I took a hard knock and I can get up and get at it again. I'm overjoyed over the top and yet I can maintain my calmness most times. For now I just hope this is my final one, if you know what I mean. I just hope nothing screws up....
Ok guys, gonna watch some DVDs my colleague loaned to me....gnite...
Determination
I find that I can be a very determined person if I wanted to...
Yesterday's race was ubber challenging yet ubber tough, yet ubber painful. I fell twice, firstly as I was braking away from the crowd, 2nd when my lever got stuck due to the first fall. But I pressed on and managed to lap 2 riders bringing my position to 11th for the first heat.
The 2nd heat was just as exciting but a fall from the other rider slowed me down as I have to slow down to avoid them. I pressed on again and this time round just managed to get 10th place.
The overall results has not been released yet as a participant is pending disqualification as he doesn't really qualify for the category I participated in due to he has been to the podium and certainly not eligible for a supernovice category. So I might after all get a top 10 position woots! But out of 15 riders, well that's not really fantastic....I'm just pleased that my best lap timing of 50secs is not that far from that 48-49secs that the top riders of my category clocked....so meaning I just need to make every lap a perfect run and most probably I can get top 5 in the next round, sound too ambitious? It is achievable with much practise.
Looks like I'm going to spend more moolahs....I damaged my handguards and my helmet during the fall. Next in the shopping list are:
-A new full face helmet
-Handguards
-Unbreakable levers
-size 43 sprockets and chain
-race number plate
-radiator coolant + engine oil
-lap timer if i have extra cash.
-and of course new sets of rubbers, I heard dunlop Alpha-10 has pretty good feedbacks.
And on top of all that, my trip in April...woots...have to go on diet and less movies. LoL.
Now, my whole body's aching and my knees pretty stiff...I hope I can run on saturday. And I need to invest in a new knee brace, I think it's crucial during race days, yest was a big mistake to wear the nike one, should've worn the other with metal strips by the sides for added support and stability.
I'm waiting for the replies from the photographers, pretty rad pics but they are not giving it away for free....damn money shuckers....LoL but i'll give them credits for snapping away in the hot sun...
Finally
2nd January, end of something, beginning of another.
Tomorrow, race day, my Suzee done up, 3x3 mod, new air filter, new jets, everything unnecessary off. Wish me luck.
Love ya lots, you know who you are.
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