lost

lost.

having muscular twitches/spasms at the scapula area....maybe im just tired or its bcos of the fall i had.

i dunno la.

cuteness

cuteness....sweetness

love, sweet

i love u sooo much for...
accepting me the way i am,
wanting to sacrifice,
understanding our differences,
wanting a future with me,
making living my life wonderful,
making me look forward to everyday,
making sleepless nights less dreadful,
willing to take the risk with approvals from parents,
changing ur ways to make me happy,
loving me,
making me happy everyday,
showing me what love really is,
and many more, the list could go on....

i only wished....
i met u earlier before u got a religion,
i met u earlier before the girls before u broke my heart,
u are a muslim too,
more ppl have an open mind,
u can be by my side 24/7,
i still have my paternal father with me,
and many more i wished....

watever it is, i hope u know how i feel about u, though this entry might make some puke blood but its how i feel....so i dont care

gotta sleep, see ya guys around. love ya annie.

hee

yeah i know i should be getting ready for my clinicals but im just mesmerized by this foto when i was playing with my fone, isnt she sweet? annie, in her first baju kurung. love ya sayang.....miss ya..

i love this foto taken by my sayang...of my room....soon itll be orange walls, no more black n pink......sayonara....look out for new foto in a couple of weeks time!

mom met annie, mom seems ok with annie....except like not expecting her son to bring back a chinese girl.....she talked with annie but i guess annie was too shy to talk much...heh....

i love my sayang.....yes, i mean what i say....gnite peepz.

1st month

time flies....and its oredi a month that we've been together...love u sayang... hope 'beary-sid' the bear i bought u just now will accompany u whenever im not by ur side. love ya lots....ure my angel alright....hope to meet u tumoro....hope we'd really go visiting in that shade of purple bajus....:).....

ubber cool

multi-tasking,
chatting with annie, surfing the net, laundry, packing stuff for tumoro, getting ready but this is ubber cool....

OH MY GOD!

Diana, my ex bbss schoolmate is now studying sports at ngee ann part time....thats not exciting but whats exciting is her lecturer is Chris Haslam's mom!!!! and guess what im getting Chris Haslam to wear hallucinate tees.....im giving one of my tees once its printed to Diana to pass to her lecturer who will pass it to Chris Haslam!

Am i realising my dreams or what? woots!

hahaha and chris haslam is a december baby too!....he'll be getting hallucinate tees on 19th December if everything goes well.

nurse doesnt equal to occupation

i dont see nursing as job....

daily, im sharing what i know with ppl around me...

and giving advice to my fren whose father is diabetic and hypertensive, really made me think that ive answered the calling...and nursing does come in handy......im worried bout myself too....cos my late grandfather have CVA(cardiovascular accident) or stroke.

im worried about one thing though....wen i graduate, will i still be as enthusiastic or will the routine in my job makes me less enthusiastic?....well thats another thing..

was telling ratnor...i hope to be an APN one day.

my annie is feeling better...im glad i was not the cause....but id like to find out why too.....im meeting her later...i love her and im ubber excited...

gtg shower guys...see ya...

sigh

ok....i might have been to irritating and probably not understanding enough... i dunno, i might've been paranoid, just paranoid....i dunno....watever it is, i am sorry.

i would love to blame the past but its me, its not the past....i have no intention to hurt anyone but if i did, i am sorry.

i think ill just go to bed, what is done, is done.

im considering to get class 3, i might have to depart with something i love but its my decision, nobody have the right to tell me what to do. ill decide soon and roy, ull be such a lucky ass...well, we'll see.....

im eye-ing on four wheels....no more two wheels...although the sight of the red roadking at adil's carpark just now, made my heart stomp awhile......although that roaring ducati that passed by us just now made me want a bigger bike....but i guess id be going for that 4-wheels...but not as yet....only when im a staff nurse......

im not in a pleasant mood either....i just hope annie gets better.....i dunno wat to do, seriously....i like just turned dumb.....

i just want you to know, the whole time im outside with my frens....i kept thinking about u, how ure doing, whether ure feeling better and if it was my fault that u felt lousy, when i saw that baju, i visualized how ud look in it but then i remembered u felt lousy and all i could think of is how u are doing. im not 1bit sleepy right now bcos i am still thinking of u, how u are doing and all. im sorry if i caused u to feel lousy, i really am.

gtg....see ya guys around....monday my clinicals day...i hope the old folks at ward 7a can cheer me up or something......

im just pissed off at dumb guys....thats all.....

whale of time...

although our date was kinda simple, it was a great one....

we broke fast at clementi ave4.....my fav chick chop....wasnt as marvelous as i remembered...maybe becos they had many orders.....but anyways the serving is still generous and at $4 its worth it.....annie had rice and chick-chop.....then after break fast and the end of drama-serial, we head to queensway to change the shoe i got for my sis.....we were lucky there were new models, so might as well get the new model....the salesperson was great, my experience at kappa queensway was great.....we went window shopping and i think i need a new pair of specs.....and maybe shoes for attachment?

and....uggh...my clutch is giving me problem....i think id still need to fork out that 100bucks for new clutch......i think i wont use sliding roller anymore cos apparently wat they say is true about ok clutch worn off faster with sliding roller....uggh

anyways....i think id continue tumoro....cos i want to talk with my annie....seee ya..

ouh love ya guys....and love ya annie....

sigh

last day of school today.....after this ill have 10 weeks of hospital attachments plus 4 exam papers in between.....

im exhausted when i reach home....i guess its the hot sun....

got my rear tyre changed.....metzeller....just to share with my frens why michellin-pilot slippery when it rains.....jackye told me...(thats what i like about goin to jackye to service my bike, he shares info) michellin-pilot is great initially but after 4months of usage, the compound tend to be harder thus equals to lesser grip on rainy days... on hot days its fine cos the heat on the tar will cause the tyre to soften abit and grip....
im not a mechanic but im pretty ok with vespas and experience does come in handy...the sound made by my bike when torque is required is made by the clutch, turns out true...

so probably id need to spend $100 on stock clutch next month or $220 on delta clutch. tempted to get delta but then thought of changing bike. i asked jackye about x8-400, he said its pretty new so no reviews here but some good news about the bike....it uses the same engine as what currently the nexus-500 is using except it runs on smaller block n piston! i was like "woots!" i was like a kid excited about a new transformer toy. he even said this, "if u have the cash, mod, change the block n piston and you'll have an x8-500!!!(but itll be illegal!) ok, jackye tempted me enuff but it doesnt stop there..
i told jackye i tot of changing before my bike turns 3, he said ya....usually after 3 years theres alot of wear and tear and there'll be alot of spending and replacements to do.....ugghhh....he sure is tempting me to change....

then again its not simple as, ok, i change x8 next year...theres always the temptation for harley(i saw a cool one at annie's place yest), ktm545 and hayabusa(i saw one on the way to school the other day). ughhh boys will be boys....

annie...ure like a blessing....u make me happy....ouh sayang...ive found yoshi...hehe

im pretty broke now.....but i still need to stock up on toiletries...next week ill be on clinicals plus id have to revise when im at home cos exams 4 weeks ago....and weekends im dedicating the time to home and annie, so ill be pretty busy....

the boys are going to change the braking-fast venue next week to al-azhar, im glad.. although i appear like im the bad guy or spoilt sport that refuses to pay 26bucks for a buffet that probably i wouldn't have the capacity to eat becos its the fasting month, ure not really hungry at the point of breaking fast, only thirsty and thus i dont find it worth the money. but i made my point and im glad they changed the plan and ill be there...

be meeting annie later.....break fast with her....she's fasting, she's trying and im giving her all the encouragements i can.

gotta go...

boo ya...

bio SUCK

ok its not bio suck...its me who suck....urrghhh it was a tough paper....we were pampered the previous semesters cos the prac test came in between the semester which meant less topics tested on....but this time round, it took place at the end of the semester...uggggh.....i think id be happy with a D or C.....i have to really mugg for the final paper in order to get a C.....i was telling annie....seems like id have to start studying now and make sure, the central nervous system anatomy and physiology is at the back of my hands.....

i can, i can, i know i can.....

sorry leo, i pass on the buffet....dont really fancy buffets....some more breaking fast time....i doubt i can eat alot.....heh...

im trying to put bio behind for awhile.....need to give time to relax and start again. id go intensive and make sure ill impress dr.raj in my final paper....i will, i can and i will amaze.....:) discipline, thats all....im not stupid...im smart, i know.

thnks

thnks for ur support....i dont want to go into details cos things could go wrong, theres a possibility right? but on demonicspeed multiply site, another potential fan had shown interest and requesting in female sizes....im considering but first the screens....after fixing my toilet light, i guess i want to experiment doing my own lightbox but in the mean time, i still need boy's help....anyways, id keep it going. im staying optimistic.

finally

after almost a week of darkness in the toilet or flickering lights....i got it fixed just now....no its not that i did not change the bulb, i did already, changed starter and all....but it was still flickering....so just now i tested the new bulb in my room, it worked perfectly fine....then i noticed....the watts, and ampere...lucky i have some knowledge, somehow the voltage regulator/converter watever it is was not sufficient for the new generation of bulbs...last time the small round bulbs were only 18-20 watts... the new generation of flourescents comes only in 22watts/0.4 ampere.....so i bought the 6.50bucks converter/regulator thingy....and after breaking a couple of sweats....wala..
its fixed.....im the handyman/diy/bike-repaire/nurse....hehehehe ouh should i add /skateboarder/graffiti-artist/doodler/actor? heheheh i played many roles in my life nowadays on top of all those im also a fren/bf/son/brother/student/cuzzen i played multiple roles....my pay should be like 10k or more instead of only 1k....hehehe..

adios studying biology....

inspired

ive always been on the wrong track....NO, NO dont get me wrong, I love nursing, especially psychiatric nursing.....its my other love....no, not skateboarding...i know i can never go pro....its creating...i dont want to call it designing cos to me its more creating.....and im no designer...

im inspired when i read sunday times.....sheikh was featured....and amanda ang...they both pursued what they love to do....and like me, they never had the resources...so they worked to it....and fazli, one of the featured artist worked part-time while pursing music....

i have a thing for doodling, creating and just scribbling on practically everything... i remembered when i painted a silhouette of a skateboarder on my walls with my name on it with paints i bought for merely less than $2.....yes i was trying to be CREATive like i said, i like creating....i drew on my canvas shoes....i got laughed at, at times... and then when computers came into my life...i 'manipulated' fotos....i changed the head of luke skywalker to my head.....hehehe.....then i did somemore...i doodled, i scribbled in class....i painted my first scooter with paintbrush white.....who the hell paints their bike with a paintbrush? I did...hurhurhur.....i still remembered in sec school, where everyone was jamming and stuffs.....i wrote a song at age 15, though i was laughed at, cos it was titled 'Hamburger' hahaha....then i remembered i did a comic book for my english project, "Askmee & CdiQ" two superheroes named after me and a classmate of mine.....i practically enjoyed creating....all sorts....its just sheer, pure enjoyment....then wen i was exposed more to design stuffs, i joined Noise.SG and created my animation which actually got selected and featured in 2005....i was invited lately via e-mail to blog on their site should i have anymore new works....i was tempted to blog about my hallucinate thingy.....but i guess ill wait till it kick off...im already psyched up when sheikh offered to list my shirts online and a fren wanted my 'lucha' tee and another fren wants to use my creations for wedding cards....but first....please read on the next para...

prioritize.....nursing...thats what will bring me into the future...thats my main priority, psychiatric nursing, thats what i want to achieve first.....ill do my 'creations' only when im free.....and when im stable enough i will still do it 'part-time' but perhaps go deeper cos i got the resources to finance myself....

id just want to share my enthusiasm with ppl who read my blog....go pursue what u like but do not forget about responsibilities.....

well, who knows one day ud see 'hallucinate' in major department stores or who knows Noise.sg would feature my works again....who knows, who knows if i never try...
BUT FIRST GO MUGG ON BIO BITCH!

visit

big monsters?

itchy butt me, now still not asleep, tot of sleeping but decided to browse thru singaporebikes classifieds.....itching for new ride...was browsing...a couple of sportsters on sale....hurhurhurhur....but keep telling myself "NO SIDDIQ!, EVEN IF YOU WANT TO, GET A NEW ONE!" hahaha have to edit the tot again and stike out the even if u want, get a new one....cos if i never strike out that one, i think i might lor....still lingering thru the back of my mind though....

some of the delicious bike ive viewed and kinda drooled over.....busa, sportster, ktm525......and that orange fazer with carbon slip ons.....

i already told adil yest, my butt itch for a new bigger monster....but my only worry if i got class 3 i might want to get a car.....then what happen to the big monster....then just now my mind was scheming with evil plans....."BUY THE BIG BIKE, THEN BUY THE CHEAPO SKIPPER....GILERA TRADE IN, THEN GOT MONEY TO BUY CAR ALSO MAH, OUH VESPA LAY UP, KEEP IN HOUSE...." Wah lau.....hehehehe NO, NO, NO, resist...i must...hehehe

wait la, patience la, maybe until at least i draw my full pay..and got my class3, then can consider....ugggghhh....eeeeeee...

brrr

brrr....weather is cold....not helping in my revisions...half the time im sleepy...
brrr.....and blocked nose...urrrrghhh.....

ouh ive got haiqal his bday prezzie...hope he likes it, its not new but i hope it works...hurhurhur...ouh shit he got a clue oredi...hope he's not reading my blog... ugggh....hahaha...

fascinated, boys will be boys

im always fascinated with cool things.....parkour is one of them, the first time i witness them when yamakasi was screened.....but too bad my weak knees and my weight, else, i guess id be trying out too...hurhurhur...
enjoy the spectacular performance by the famous david belle...
and mind u, he's getting sponsored by nike to do those crazy stunts....urrghh...jealous sia...

horoscopes

i know in islam we are not allowed to believe in horoscopes cos no humans can predict the future.....but i just had to read out of curiosity...and i blurted out in laughter when i read mine, the heading at friendster's free horoscope, it went something like this....."Your enthusiasm can make things happen. Don't keep all that power to yourself." take note the word "power".......

anyways if u take it literally ud be bursting out into laughter like me...if a schizo patient read it, probably he would go telling everyone he has powers....but actually enthusiasm is indeed a sort of "power"....enthusiasm did indeed made me accomplish certain things.....enthusiasm leads to optimistic thinking and that leads to some of my success.....and for that i would agree to that initial sentence of the horoscope....

ratnor was online....i asked him...."have u ever skated in the planes at ur workplace before?". he answered "i wish..." hehehe itd be fun though if we get too....heheheh

annie is a wonderful girl....i cant stop mentioning her....i think its been a long, long time since ive been this much in love before....its not one sided, its not efforts on one side only...it doesnt lack in communication and it doesnt lack in understanding. the only upsetting issue is certain differences that we have to overcome...well actually one because race is not much of a problem....ugghhh...

i wonder what my frens are doing......i hate weekends actually cos thats where i hear very little of them.....they'll bug me weekdays but ill be bz weekdays...urrghhh this is adulthood, nobody's free everyday like last time....hurhurhur....during school days, everyone would be free everyday.....hehehehe....i miss childhood too annie...

if weather is fine and if i covered some of bio and IF im not lazy nuff, id wanna drop by sungei road to comb for great deals.....well....IF there is.....

i gotta smack my butt and get going and not slacking half the time im suppose to study....."SMACK!, SMACK!" OOoooowwwww....that hurts....nope i did not smack my own ass......hurhurhurhur...yah u all wished i did right?

i love 'the used' songs....though some of them are pretty too emo for my liking, hmm i wanna pester leo to loan me the cd....hehehehe.....then ill just add on to my itunes...heheheh