Yippeeeee!

Got sponsors for 'berkat' and 'kompang'....yipeeeeee!

Anyways it's great that I learned peribahasa back in school cos that was one of part of Bahasa Melayu lessons I enjoyed....

Sayings like 'Kata dulang paku serpih, Kata orang dia yang lebih' will always remain vivid in mind and certainly can apply to daily life, so many can apply....like 'Makan boleh sembarang makan, cakap jangan sembarang cakap'

Anyways I'm laughing my ass off at the antics of some human beings, so......contradicting to themselves....bah....

anyways definition of antics (in case some of you don't know):

1 : an attention-drawing often wildly playful or funny act or action;
2 archaic : a performer of a grotesque or ludicrous part


Okayyyy have a great weekend everyone....love ya'all.....ouh thanks guys love ya'all....

I'm Yours


I'm Yours Nurain.

Take it or Leave it.

Get Out!

Get out of that box of yours, not everyone's evil. Ouh I am not saying to be naive(apparently one of my colleagues is a spy). Cos if you're naive it'll get you eaten as well! But then again keep an open mind, not everyone's evil ok. And everybody's human, a mistake doesn't make him Satan.

At work apparently there's spies lingering around, being a lame fuck tape recorder and pass what is said to the boss. You know sometimes you can't trust people whole-ly especially those with smiles from end to end. They are not what they appear to be, they have hidden agendas, urgh, disgusting hypocrites. I'd love to wish for their mishaps like they hope for ours but then again, God is great, I'll let him decide. I just hope I don't turn into one of those ugly dumfucks who wishes for calamities upon others. It is so not humane.

Anyways I feel sometimes I waste precious time but then again every little things we do matters cos it does play apart in the end. It does.

I am still considering the degree, although that fear of not studying is always there. I think once everything settled, I'd invest on it and take the risk. I just don't want to stay mediocre, I want to be a little above that. And of course alternatives, jobs that is. I wanna do something I really enjoy not just like which brings income that superceeds the current one, if that happens.....woots! But am still discovering what I am really good at and what can bring in the dough without difficulties, that's a tough one. The thing is, I've always wanted to be my own boss, have my own schedules and decide on what I wanna do daily. That'll be great right?

Hahaha, yeah maybe some of ya would be saying....'yah yah dream on sid....' then again everyone needs dreams to get started.

ok gtg, best wishes everyone,

Hmm

Since you mentioned....

Does that mean the question came from the bottom of your heart and you meant it?

How sad, so sad....but wat to do, to each his own. Sigh~

Let it be...

'Gnarls Barkley - Run' I LIke!

Hmm

After Subh' I sat down and just went into deep thoughts and did a self-reflection. Thinking negatively and thinking that she meant what she said makes me indifferent from there. I'm no pious soul but Alhamdullilah for guiding me to think that way. If you want to make a difference, it should start from yourself and not expect others to change and slowly the rest will follow. I guess that's whats happening to me now. Alhamdullilah once again.

Cruelty

I can't believe how cruel you are.

Thank God. Thank God for Ain.

Again, my sincere apology to Azmin, although many doubt it but then again why here? Because somehow somewhere someone somebody might read and tell her. When I meet her I will apologize in person but for now I think I'd let the matter rest. I am sorry for the hurt that I have caused, it was unintentional. I've told Ain before that you are one of the nicest frens she has. And true enough you are.

And I am sorry Ain, I gotcha into this, you are totally not involved and yet you are at the recieving end. And I am so proud of you, you are definitely one smart girl and you've thought me lots, just that people don't know that at times you gave me some tongue lashing of your own as well but in a subtle way with all sense. In fact even before anyone point out to me, you pointed out to me first what I shouldn't have done. You know you are marvellous. And for goodness sake, she doesn't take my side if I am wrong, she does tell me off.

Till this minute, I still can't believe what I heard. It's shocking but I try to give it a benefit of a doubt that the question appeared only out of anger(as Ain suggested). A stubborn part of me is inclined on the negativity(cos it came for the second time) but the other half is pulling it out of the puddle of tar of no return...all thanks to Ain. But if it is true and it came from your heart, may God make you realise how much I love Ain and to what extent so please erase that silly question of yours. So if you are still human and have mercy, that question you asked really made my heart dropped like from the top of a skyscraper at a speed that will send the heart to splatters. Speaking of hurt, yeah I know it now especially when its coming from a person I already considered friend not acquaintance. I just hope its not coming from your heart but it was just a wrong struck of nerve when that blood boils that triggers you to come up with such a painful question. I should've defended my Ain but yes, she's right it'll only makes things worst.

So in the rarest occassion, Sid is waving the white flag and giving in.

This blog is my avenue of letting it out since dunno when, I guess you guys noticed less of my blog entries lately cos I have been the happiest on earth for more than a year now and thanks to Ain. I never know what will happen if she's not around. Probably I'd just be in love with my bike....LoL and my cameras.

I am still in disbelief though that both extremes came from the same source. Really, I am in disbelief. Thanks Ain for keeping me on the positive side.

You're right

There's no denying that what you said were right, I do not understand girls till today. Of course only you that I understand most till date, that's why we are getting married...we understand each other. Even when we are pissed at each other at one point, we talked it out after things are fine and we learn about each other slowly.

lucky

I think I am the luckiest. I've been granted with so many wonderful things in life although my life was not perfect. Although there's some unpleasantness along the way.

God granted wonderful people around me to provide the balance and at times I can even overlook the unpleasantness. At times I even teared because I am moved by these wonderful people around me. First of all, Alhamdullilah I have been granted with a wonderful mom, she stood by me from day 1, till come to this period where I leave single-hood and be someone's husband soon. Dad was never really there for me but having such an extraordinary mom, I never really need a dad except it wasn't a social norm back then to be a single-parent even though mine was a mere divorce case whereby both parties could no longer live with each other. It wasn't their fault but somehow still it was a little unacceptable to society. Mom was strong, she stood by all the way till where I am today. Thank you mom, you don't know how much I love you.

Then there was wonderful friends who stood by me, even though I was temperamental and at times my frankness hurt them unknowingly. These friends are those who really made me forget that I had backstabbers and cheats in my life. They are God's gift to me that kept me strong and going and still knowing there's at least still living things around me that's worth calling human beings. Friends like Shahreil who gave me a listening ear thru times of trouble who gave me advise even though he's like a year junior but have sensible thoughts and solutions. Friends who shared certain unpleasantness in life like me, who are not so lucky in life as to be blessed with everything they want. Friends who wants to give a helping hand at the slight thought that I might need one even without me asking. Friends like Is-burong who provided me shelter when I was staying alone, all by myself lost and of course his mom who welcomed me with open arms. Friends like, Raimie, Raihana, Rashid and Shahreil who believed in me who signed my bond even though they know the risk they got themselves into, 44k to be exact. Friends like Mankey who willingly took the risk and be my guarantor when I wanted to indulge in my interest in bikes. Friends who believed in me like Ross and Hairul whom introduced me to their friend Ain who soon will be my life partner. Friends like Zack who consoled and counselled me when I needed it back then. And many other Friends alike who guided me along the way in every little bit. Uncles and aunts who defended, stood by me, guided and believed in me. Of course my cousin Hadi who actually provided me shelter right now, even though he himself is in alot of problems for himself to handle. People like my nenek who go finding my Dad who's in Indonesia and try to bring us(his children) together. And last but not least, NurAin who made me feel loved and wanted, who stood by me, who believed me, who gave me a listening ear, who makes me laugh, who makes me happy, who's willing to live with me for the rest of her life.

I just hope I fall into the category of wonderful people in life of many others. I will try not to disappoint you guys. You guys rocks and theres always a place for you guys in my heart. Although I might not have showed it, or showed my appreciation much but deep in here, I am very thankful and prays that God will repay your kindness, InsyahAllah. I hope my prayers will be answered cos you guys deserve it.

And of course even those ugly, decietful, hypocritic, evil, heartless....whatever you would like to call them are indeed gifts from God. They make me learn, they made me stronger, they make me wary, they make me wanna fight further. They too did play a major role in my life.

All in all, Alhamdullilah, for where I am now, God is great. Allah-hu Akbar.

realise...

The world works in mysterious ways.

I realized that its like a chain reaction, one thing leads to another. I realize that what I am doing now matters to what might happen in the future no matter what and of course what I did or did not do before is taking its effect now or maybe in the future.

For instance, I did not make effort to know my cousins or relatives that much. Now...
I injured my knee while I was still in secondary school...Now....
I did not study, I was playful during my secondary school days....Now...
I was job hopping and all....Now....

BUT what's the use of regret? Look forward now, change, try to make things better. When we have thoughts, ideas, feelings, use it and don't hesitate. It's better to know you fail rather than regret not trying. I go for it, I try not to procrastinate although it does happen still at times.

Thanks people around me for making things happen.

Hairul asked me if I had any bestfriend(of course Ain is mine) but other than that, there's none. Seriously.....BUT many are special to me, many are good to me and these good people will make my next plan a reality....

Gd nite peeps...

A belated entry.



Effort is the key thing that makes most things happen. In life effort is one of the essentials, although sometimes and some people do get lucky and get what they want with little or even no effort.

Last Wednesday 8th of July, was something that alot of effort has been put in to make it happen, Ain's birthday party. All thanks to her wonderful friends, the surprise birthday party was a blast. It was also effort that made us last this long and definitely longer with all plans in mind. I thank God for granting me such a wonderful companion in life. Like the MCYS ad(if im not wrong), imperfections are sometimes that makes a relationship perfect, it sort of compliments each other. For me, Ain is the nearest perfect thing that has ever happened to me. Alhamdullilah...

Well, HDB hasn't been so kind to us, they changed the regulations, our plans although not elaborated, has to be changed yet again. I am sorry Shikin, due to circumstances, I guess we have to halt for a moment. Whatever it is, we still will get one.

I am glad that Ain's so patient, calm and has no high expectations on me. I am also glad that she is willing to listen and communicate her views and opinions. I guess that's one of the reason that we are still surviving till date, we talk it out and we listen to each other. She made me brave enough to speak my views and because I speak up, likewise she did too.

Anyways, to cut story short, now the planning stage is the painstaking one....anyways like in the first paragraph, everything requires an effort to enjoy a more satisfying success/victory. I can't wait to see what all this effort comes to......

Anyways Ain, Happy 25th, I love you, bear with this stage we'll be there soon. :)

And Guys, thanks again for making it happen, I couldn't have done it without you guys and of course special thanks Hairul and Ross for introducing me to Ain. :)

frankly

frankly....im disappointed, i dunno wat to say, my head hurts, so does my chest and yet i can't sleep. i'm dropping fancy thoughts and i just want to sleep. too bad, but i have to face it.

...

im speechless and lost, so much for all the thoughts....

No Joke

What I am going through now is no joke man. I've embarked on a journey whereby it's really testing my will power and ability. And like it or not, mom has already broken the news to one of my uncles. Hahaha that's it man, the journey has already started, the ship has already sailed in that direction....

Now my job is to make it happen, to complete the journey. Insyha' Allah, I will with Ain of course.

Drive

You know you rely can't rely on people if you want something or need something? For that person that you engage might be utterly busy or has his/her hands filled. Even if its external party where you are paying for their services, you can't really fully 100% rely on them.

So, to be safe is, always have back up plans.

Currently, I am just hoping what I plan falls in place.

Wish me luck. Nothing's concrete, so everything's under covers for now...hehehehe

My butt is so itching to race but I know I have to set priorities, so most prob, racing is a no-no but if I am really butt-itchy, watchout for me on SLINGHD on MioTV in December, cos if I really 'have' to race, I'll be racing in December.....watchout for bike 311. hehehe....

Lost

I need a guide, I think I got lost.

Reciprocrate

I feel lazy.......very very lazy......but I kept telling myself to spend my hospitalization leave wisely. Do something beneficial, design, create, read.....whatever that I will not have the luxury or time to do once I am back to work. The thoughts are many, the energy and drive is little. I need the initial drive, the ideas flowing in. Rat has yet to reply my sms, I wonder if the tee-thingy will have a go thingy.

One good news though my dad called, I think he is proceeding with the manufacturing and replication of the parts that we are going to market. I was surprised that dad called, I guess it pays when you put in effort to keep ties tight. I just called him last Saturday and even smsed him later wishing him a happy fathers day.

Right now, I can't help the many thoughts that is flowing thru my mind. I have always been like this since young, if my hands are not busy, many thoughts comes. I was even commented in my report book as 'dreamy, tends to day-dream', LoL.

Isn't it good? Well I guess yeah, except if the thoughts were put to life, reality. Well I did, some at least! And I was delighted to have made several childhood dreams a reality....:p

My first series will be simple, it will be numbers(hint2) but this time round it will not go under the label 'Hallucinate', it will have another label which have yet to be decided I guess. If the partner thingy is off, I will still go ahead but later I guess, I'd concentrate on my decals first. I am going to print a new decal for my Suzie next week and hopefully it fits nicely. Then, maybe I'd leave my comfort zone and try doing decals for cars....maybe, just maybe....

I also want to refresh myself in photography, seems like I've lost touch. Maybe, I will get a book or two from the library later. :) So much time in hands, except no total freedom, else I'd be outside of Sg oredi....LoL

Okla later guys......

By Definition

You can define a year by 365days or 52weeks or 12months. There are several definitions for a year alone, what about life? A meaningful life.

I sent off my dad yesterday morning, with many thoughts in mind. Was it his fault totally? Should I sympathize that he has been through lots? Should I agree with my uncle's and his view? Should I be ashamed of myself that I did not really put in effort to look for him when he first went 'missing' from Singapore to reside in Indonesia? There's still many questions that goes unanswered, there was many more that I regret not asking but I guess that's part of life, sometimes you give some a miss although you do not want to.

Like my dad, I have been through lots and I am freaking grateful here that I can still fend for myself and feed my fairly oversized tummy. I am still glad though my life is far from perfect as compared to my fortunate friends. I am not saying I am not unfortunate cos I am still granted with a stable job which I will have to cherish and really 'look after'. After all the poor economy many companies around are looking ways to 'remove' what they don't 'need'. I do not want to be one of them. Nevertheless, I am looking ways to up my value, a degree perhaps. In actual fact, I am pretty much lazy to study again but I keep telling myself I have to really consider upgrading myself. I was also considering other alternatives as back up plans, I am seriously considering Ratnor's offer to join venture with him and his friend. I also already am working with dad to produce some supermoto accessories which will have price tags that make the branded manufactures hate me.

I know, wealth is nothing but that is not what I am looking for....I am looking for comfort and stability and something to fall back on. The Arabs believe that health comes above anything else, indeed it is, without health there's no wealth.

Today I went for my knee surgery, removing the implants which had got my knee infected. Back to square one, my knee is now 'loose' without that support from the artificial graft in replace of my original ACL(anterior cruciate ligament). I am thankful nuff that I did not get any bone infections, I'm just waiting to recover and strengthen my knee again so I can run. I had lived my dreams of racing, although only a teenie club race but I do appear on teevee. I wanna live my next which I do not know yet if it is possible, I wanna run that marathon(or maybe half) and finish it, what position I finish in doesn't matter. It's just one of the things I wanna do before I turn old and weak. :)

That's for later.....I'm now concerned with the current issue, the flat. I seriously want a place of my own, somewhere where I can call my own. Getting it is not cheap, I really need to save up, although I could've ask dad, I didn't cause that's his money, he earned it and I have no right to it. I don't deserve it. I would rather loan if I have to, If I have to that is. Else, I will have to save and forgo the pleasures in life, like things I don't need, like things that can wait. That's why in the earlier paragraphs the mention of looking for other alternatives to earn.

I just hope that in the future my kids too will be like me and my dad. Independent and would really stretch ones capabilities and abilities to the max. I never really looked up to dad until I was mature enough to think of what he has went thru and put aside his not so commendable deeds. He is human after all like you and me.

Speaking of humanity, the inhumane deeds of some still lingers within my memories. I still could not believe what you have done. I don't know how can you forgive yourself and put that smile upon your face. I'm no hero, neither have I fulfilled my responsibilites but that's because I myself am 'crippled' in many ways but you having that complete family I can't understand why you need to do that.

I don't wanna talk about that anymore. In this life, my experiences have made me a better person and Islam certainly did help me to be a better person. Turn to Him my muslim frens. There's changes in me that I have noticed, although little but it had stuck to me that way now. As days goes, I have seen lots of the less fortunate than me and loose change to me is nothing as compared to those who really need it. Excess food that will go to the bin is better off in someone's empty stomach. A greet, a smile is better off that misinterpertations and silent accussations.

I realise some things are hard to change like my temper at times but remembering Him helps and people around me(ain mainly) and my current profession.

Thank you for guiding me. Alhamdullilah. Leave the path lighted so I don't loose my way again.
Thanks for health, food and what I have now. Syukur.

Been A Looooooong Time

It's been quite sometime since my last entry. Why? Busy la with so many things. Not really la, just that I never set time aside to blog unlike last time. Nowadays my free time are spent either with Ain, busy with work, my hobby, finding ways to earn extra(its never enough), entertaining my Dad who's currently in Singapore and lastly the 'future' stuffs. So you see, I am pretty much occupied. Sometimes I stray away to do things that's not really beneficial like just plain lazing around... LoL

Anyways things seems to fall in place although some did not go the way I wanted it to be. Whenever that happens, I am thankful enough there's always alternatives. I just hope, it does go as planned at least for the core main things I want in life. That shall remain under-covers for the time being, as I do not want to talk about something that's not concrete yet. Look at my class3 license, to date I still have yet to move my lazy ass to get it done and over with. Yes I admit I am lazy about getting that cos I have other priorities which I think are much more important to me, my future. A car is an additional asset that can wait, cos my bike still brings me to and fro work and more.

Savings is another issue currently, a major one. It's tough lah, especially when you're building the foundation to your future and especially when you are just at the start of a new career and especially when you have a rather expensive hobby like mine(though I've mellowed down and haven't been to the tracks to burn rubber) And independence is not as fun as it seems when you're living alone and having to manage everything yourself.

I am trying to get the best for my future, my life....It's been years since I live a proper life. I can't say I hate it totally cos I learned alot and I think the fact that I had to go thru so much had in fact made me very strong. I still remember the times when I survived on bare minimal because being me, I never liked borrowing or relying on others. I still remember the day I had to part with my dear scooter. I remember the day when I sold off all my motorcycle accessories cos I was jobless for almost six months. I remember staying in rental where the fridge's totally empty and having to survive on food at school and bread at home when wallet's dry. But I guess people never know the hard times, they only see the good times, my bike, my holidays, my bonuses and my new stuffs.

I am glad now that things are better although it will be alot better had I got lucky with the balloting thingy. But being me, I've not yet give up, I'm trying alternatives.

Anyways, the past few weeks, I spent certain days with Dad and yesterday I realize there's some similarities... We don't like instructions if we know what we are doing. We can survive on our own no matter how hard it is, we'll find our way. No matter what, we still respect our parents. There's more I bet. One thing I just hope that he try to get closer to the One. I hope my dad will have a better life in Indonesia after settling all that needs to be settled in this few weeks he's here. He gave me words of encouragements yesterday, 'don't be afraid to leave or venture if there's opportunities overseas'. I want to(in my heart) but I already planned something...that will come later. If it meant to be mine, it will, no matter what.

For now as in now-now, I just hope the mid-year bonus is worth even calling a bonus if there is at all. It'll be helpful for me to get certain stuffs cranking and going.

Lastly, I am very thankful I found her. I think without her, I'd feel rather empty, even today being alone, I really feel the void, I really yearn for her company. Now I know how she feels when she yearns for me and I have to work afternoon shifts or nights. I guess she's part of my strength now that keeps me going and dreaming and soon making that dreams a reality.

AND of course to all those who have loads of negativity against me or view me as something unpleasant? Well, have it your way, have all the fun you can, I don't think it bothers me. I do things my way and I know I will be there at my own pace. At least I'm no hypocrite. For in this life, I compete with myself and no one else, its unlike in a race at the tarmac when the first position is the winner. I will be a winner, in my own way. So help me God race thru this one, my own race. InsyahAllah.

Solo-Indonesia

First of all pardon my grammar...

Last Thursday I went to visit my father in Indonesia which I never did for I guess 8 years? Currently he is residing in Solo, Surakarta Indonesia. The place is less developed unlike Singapore, although modernization can be seen progressing through out. You can see malls and the residents are dressed in a more westernized clothings, less batik.

I never miss Dad that much because partly, I was brought up by Mom cos they were divorced when I was only 2years old.

Today my father lives with my step-mom Ibu' Yanti, an Indonesian from Java, which part? I'm not too sure. I'm not so fond of her in the beginning but I guess I am getting used to seeing her around my Dad.

It was my first time visiting Solo and I already have little ideas or thoughts of retiring there. I can get a house as big as my Dad's at mere SGD200k! That's like cheaper than a 3-room flat! Imagine, a garden, a pond, a garage, laundry room, store and even space to start a food stall! Now I know why Uncle-Rawi, the Health-Attendant bought a house in Indonesia and plans to retire there.

The cost of living is super low too...I guess if you save enough to retire, you can retire very comfortably there without even worrying about having to work part time to survive till your death like what most middle incomed here does...they have to work, else it just ain't enough. Especially with people like me who started saving late and having trouble to save because I have to survive on my own. I am seriously considering that(retiring in Indonesia), I can already imagine.

I talked with Dad over there, he told me of his retirement plans which most probably I will follow. He has reached the age whereby he can withdraw his CPF funds. After doing so, he will bank in all of them to an account in Indonesia cos there, they offer higher interests. And with the monthly interest he earns, its enough for him to live by daily and even indulge in his part-time business(selling customized motorcycle parts) and Ibu' Yanti's food business(warong). He got it all planned and he even plans to buy another land on top of the house he is going to buy to build another house and rent it out. Gosh, although far from relatives but I can imagine how comfortable life's going to be. I think if I were to do the same, I can also bring mom along together, I'm sure there's ample room.

In Solo-Indonesia, there's nothing much to spend on.....there's not much to splurge...life's pretty simple there, pretty basic, if you say there's no entertainment...there's always nature or you can always turn on your pc/mac to blog(LoL) or surf or watch cable....I just want a comfortable life before I die in my old age, I don't wanna slog to my death or count my savings everyday and really budget to ensure I don't outlive my savings. For those whose already comfortable perhaps don't worry too much but for me, I do, cos I know life ain't getting any easier, that's why the investments and I am even considering to get a life investment on top of what I already have.

Some people say I think too much but look where am I now, I didn't think too much back then, thats why now, there's quite a struggle. Had I forgo the life I had, I would've not be so panicky now, although I know I can make it but I know I am balancing on a tightrope with the help of an umbrella and a net below offered by people close to me. Had I thought of the future, the umbrella and net would've come from my own pocket. Therefore now, I still can't say I am independent although 90% I am, that 10% is the safety net in case anything happens....LoL

Back to the trip, I'm glad it happened although during the trip....I lost my ipod shuffle, the baggage crew tore part of my bag, I got cut from the stand of my dad's bike, I left Ain's camera case in Solo and I finished all IDR2.1million, leaving only IDR2k. AND I discovered my rear tyre got punctured when I reached home. And surprisingly although frustrated, I am not 1bit angry....LoL.....

Why I am glad? The bond I never had with my father, my grandmother, my stepmom and my auntie. The trip got us closer, we joked, we talked bout serious issues, we shared ideas and many more....above all we know we care bout each other....I know at least my grandma care about all of us. I love u nenek, ouh thanks for the airfare...next time round, I pay for the flight...:)

I thought I could be all alone, start a whole new chapter on my own with Ain but now I realise, no man is an island. Family will be family although some part of family is not worth calling family for what they have done. However being a muslim....forgive and forget, always keep an open mind...I'm no saint, I do admit, I still can't forget....

Time flies....though I got lots more to say bout my trips(Phuket which I had yet to mention) I gotta go to bed cos tumoro I gotta get that rear tyre fixed.....gnite peeps.

Love you all....nites.

8th April 2009

I have always looked on the positive side at all things. At the same time I am a mere human being and sometimes I just can't help but be pulled in to the negativity and sometimes it gets worse that I can get paranoid.

I was suppose to go for my appointment with my specialist today to review my MRI and yet again it was postponed cos he took urgent leave. It was rescheduled again to 2 weeks later. The uncertainty is so not pleasing as to how or what the outcome will be base on the MRI they took.
Anyways, being positive, I think this is God's ways of helping cos probably by then I can use my policy to pay for my hospitalization bills and probably by then the bonus is already in and probably by then it won't jeopardize my career advancement.

Anyways let us just wait and see....whatever it is I am hoping for the best. InsyahAllah.

Today I get leaky nose and I always get this when either I drink too much cold drinks the day before or I haven't had enough rest. I think this time round is a combi cos yesterday morning I ran 7km and I never took any naps and went to work a couple of hours later. At work the humid weather caused me to drink loads of chilled water and even when I reached home I drank some of that thirst quenching raspberry 7-up. So yeah, blame it on myself. LoL

Today a colleague of mine is getting married. Congrats Wu Longjiang, hope you have a happy married life with Ning yu. He also asked me to help out by ordering food for the lunch he will be providing tomorrow in our ward and a card to invite all the staff. I hope I was of help to you. I don't know if I will miss the free food tomorrow or not cos I'll be on course, I hope they'd leave some for me so that I can eat during my lunch break...hehehehe...

Today also, Ain's friend Shikin told her of something exciting but yet again it's quite uncertain, so yes I'm going to check out the site again on Friday. I am still hoping cos I still want my own home no matter what.

And last but not least, I can't wait to go Island hoping come this weekend....6days in Thailand, here I come.....woots!

Hope

Hope: some say hope is merely a comforting factor for human beings, they hope to comfort themselves.

For me, hope is something that might come and if it does, Alhamdullilah for it is He who made it all possible.

On Thursday afternoon, my SNM had a meeting with us, the 2 wards on level 2 will be separated, meaning Ward72A will be a specialized ward. I so look forward to be chosen for this ward and perhaps a post-basic aka advance diploma nomination. He also mentioned that 1 will be selected to be doing office hours. There's pros and cons to it...

Pros: I will be able to plan more stuffs off work.
I will be able to meet my friends and family more regularly.
Health will definitely be better for not working shifts.
And in the future should I have a family, I will definitely have more time for them.
I don't have to wake up so early and I can have time and not rush thru subh'

Cons: I will loose out on allowances
I will have more work to do and miss all the slacking on night shifts.

I guess there are more pros than cons.....although the dough will be lessen but....

Anyways I'll let fate decide....should I get chosen, Alhamdullilah, should I not get chosen, Alhamdullilah as well for I believe what ever that happen not in favor has a blessing in disguise or is probably a test from Him.

Okla, gotta sleep....running 6km tumoro, good night everybody.....

Blog hopping

I just felt like blog hopping....I blog hopped my friends' blog and there was one post on the regular questions that thrown onto singles like I am...."Bila nak kahwin?" and there's a following reason that they(the one who questioned) made up themselves like:
"Tulah sibuk sangat.."
"Tulah cerewet...."
"Tulah takmo simpan duit..."
and probably many more reasons but then I laughed when I read that cos I got myself one hell of a funny reason as to why this soon-to-be 30year old has not tied the not yet. She was asking her daughter what I was working as ....the answer was of course I am a nurse.....then on another day she asked which hospital am I working at....the answer is of course "IMH" and this was what she said after that " Ooooo patutlah tak kahwin2....." in english "Ooooo that's why la he's not married yet..."

LoL......farnie.....at my expense....

6 habits, lean mid section

Taken off men'shealth magazine. 6 habits for a leaner mid-section.

1. WAKE UP TO WATER
Imagine not drinking all day at work – no coffee, no water, no diet soft drink. At the end of an eight-hour shift, you’d be pretty parched. Which is precisely why you should start rehydrating immediately after a full night’s slumber. From now on, drink at least 450ml of chilled water as soon as you rise in the morning. German scientists recently found that doing this boosts your metabolism by 24 per cent for 90 minutes afterwards. (A smaller amount of water had no effect.) What’s more, a previous study determined that muscle cells grow faster when they’re well hydrated. A general rule of thumb: Guzzle at least 3.8 litres of water over the course of a day.


2. EAT BREAKFAST EVERY DAY

A University of Massachusetts study showed that men who skip their morning meals are four-and-a-half times more likely to have bulging bellies than those who don’t. So within an hour of waking, have a meal or protein shake with at least 250 calories.

British researchers found that breakfast size was inversely related to waistline size. That is, the larger the morning meal, the leaner the midsection. But keep the meal’s size within reason: A 1,500-calorie plate of fried noodles is really two breakfasts, so cap your intake at 500 calories. For a quick way to fuel up, try this recipe: Prepare a package of instant oatmeal and mix in a scoop of whey protein powder and half a cup of blueberries.


3. AS YOU EAT, REVIEW YOUR GOALS…

It’s important to stay aware of your mission. University of Iowa scientists found that people who monitored their diet and exercise goals most frequently were more likely to achieve them than goal setters who rarely reviewed their objectives.

4. …AND THEN PACK YOUR LUNCH

This habit should be as much a part of your morning ritual as showering. Here’s what you can pack into your cooler:
• An apple (to eat as a morning snack)
• Two slices of cheese (to eat with the apple)
• A 500- to 600-calorie portion of leftovers (for your lunch)
• A pre-mixed protein shake or 450ml of milk (for your afternoon snack)
By using this approach, you’ll keep your body well fed and satisfied throughout the day without overeating. You’ll also provide your body with the nutrients it needs for your workout, no matter what time you exercise. Just as important, you’ll be much less likely to be tempted by the office candy bowl. The rule is simple: Don’t eat anything that’s not in the cooler.


5. EXERCISE THE RIGHT WAY

Everyone has abs, even if people can’t always see them because they’re hidden under a layer of flab. That means you don’t need to do endless crunches to carve out a six-pack. Instead, you should spend most of your gym time burning off blubber. The most effective strategy is to combine weightlifting and high-intensity interval training. According to a recent University of Southern Maine study, half an hour of
pumping iron burns as many calories as running at a six-minute-per-mile (1.6km) pace for the same duration. And it has the added benefit of helping you build muscle.
What’s more, unlike aerobic exercise, lifting has been shown to boost metabolism for as long as 39 hours after the last repetition.

Similar findings have been noted for intervals, which are short, all-out sprints interspersed with periods of rest. For the best results, do a total-body weight-training workout 3 days a week, resting at least a day between sessions. Then do an interval-training session on the days in between.

6. SKIP THE LATE SHOWS

You need sleep to unveil your six-pack. That’s because lack of shut-eye may disrupt the hormones that control your ability to burn fat. For instance, University of Chicago scientists recently found that just three nights of poor sleep may cause your muscle cells to become resistant to the hormone insulin. Over time, this leads to fat storage around your belly.

To achieve a better night’s sleep, review your goals again 15 minutes before bedtime. And while you’re at it, write down your plans for the next day’s work schedule (as well as any personal chores you need to accomplish). This can help prevent you from lying awake worrying about tomorrow (“I have to remember to respond to Raymond’s e-mail”), which can cut into your quality snooze time.


broke no worries

I am near broke and I am not 1bit unhappy although a little worried la, cos I need some dough for the Phuket and Jakarta trips (although my flight's sponsored for Jakarta!) and for the insurance renewal come June and not mentioning my new insurance plan monthly and my savings plan...
Whoah....I guess I'll be losing alot of weight come next month....LoL

And why I am so almost broke yet happy? Many reasons babe....

Yesterday Chris Martin and the gang made my day! Awesome...although I am not a HUGE fan but I still like their songs and the closest to 'Live' I've only watched their DVDs and yesterday was ubber awesome. They rock, no words can describe how I felt yesterday, it's like a musical orgasm.
Those who weren't there, you don't know what you have just missed....hehehe. Even just now, I was frantically searching for my CDs which I stashed somewhere and my guess is, it's probably still in Bukit Batok.

And life has been pleasant lately....even at work....
Everyones been nice to me....even the patients....
My eyes, nothing wrong with it, after the specialist check up...it's only tired eyes...
My knees, less pain although I will still need the op.
Everything's just so kind to me. I'm just so blessed lately. Alhamdullilah.

So you see, it's not about the money......that's secondary although it's necessary....:)

shields

After solat, I head to DBS bank to open a new account. I decided, I need to discipline myself to start saving. One way is to open another account, whereby the funds there would not be touched unless in case of emergency. I also signed up for health-shield by Aviva, cos I'll be going for 2 surgeries, at least with this policy, it'll help me pay my hospital bills and because of it, I wouldn't be using my medisave solely which might be needed when I get old. for a small sum per year, I think the coverage for hospitalisation is pretty worth it.

I'm also considering the Mysavings account cos it has double the interest of an ordinary account. However that will have to wait till next time. Next is the travel insurance, I'll get that for my 1week trip, just in case.....hehehe...

I also am considering for life insurance....I don't know yet, I'll consider that before my 30th birthday. That can wait. cos now at least I'm covered with the health-shield for hospitalisations and medical treatment.

soak up the sun hombre....

Running is mainly to keep fit and keep off the pounds from calling your body home. To me my morning run is alot more than that. It keeps my sanity to an acceptable level.

Somehow, running is a sort of therapy for me. Running by the beach in the morning soothing sun helps is just so relaxing. Plugging in to my mp3 to rad tunes from my itunes and just enjoying the push. Of course the priority is to shed pounds and keep myself fit especially in my line of work as a nurse and especially in a psychiatric setting, whereby you need to be vigilant, alert and fit. But the end of the routine is alot more than just that.

My running routine would start off psyching myself up to the tunes, focus and try to improve my fitness and stamina every run at the same time enjoy the beach, the sun and people watching. After the run, follows the hearty breakfast...like today the hotcakes were fresh and ultra yummy....that is satisfying and it compliments the achievement to shed almost a minute off my 4.5km route.

The walk back to where I park my bike is where all it happened. The thoughts, the deep, deep thoughts. Self-reflection, plans and thoughts for the future. It's like an emotional rollercoaster ride. My life ain't perfect and the many imperfections made me wonder sometimes why....but then I always pull myself back up to think that theres alot more souls out there whose worse off. Then came the happy thoughts, the people around me, the people who stood by me, the people who made me happy. Then came the angry thoughts, the people who pissed me off, the hypocrites, the faith-monger, the tales-teller, etc but then I always end that by reminding me what goes around, comes around......God is great. Then came to my physical state, bad knee, bad eyes....I want to be in the pink of health, fully mobile, I wanna skate, run, race, I wanna do what I love to do and perhaps God will answer my prayers....Then came the plans for the future, what should I do, what can I do better, what I shouldn't wait so long to do.......

After all that, it makes me feel alot better cos I get a bigger, better picture of my whole life....With all that, I am starting to enjoy my morning runs cos it benefits me alot more than just being fitter but also happier. Though running with Ain is alot of fun too cos now, she's my joy, she's the one that kept me up, kept me going and most of the time prevented me from being down. Unknowingly she helped me alot in life, she kept me focus, she too sometimes bring me back to reality.

Theres alot to say, alot in mind but we only got 24hours a day that God granted us and out of that 24hours 4-6 hours is already spent on shut-eyes. another 8 odd hours at work and that left us with 20 more hours whereby they past pretty fast like in a blink of an eye. We are humans after all, do the best but do what you can, don't push yourself to the edge.

Here's what I wanna do in the near future. I hope, really hope after my second surgery I'd be able to do physical activities as before, as I was an army boy back then where by runs doesn't end with an ache in the knee, where my eyes doesn't tire after 8hours of video games. Yes, it's the work of nature thru wear and tear but God doesn't encourage resentment, rather He wants his beings to be strong and face the challenges and that is just what I will do. Life is short, I probably would've have spent half of my lifetime already if I were destined to be alive till 60. That meant I only got 3decades more to enjoy life, of course if I live longer I will appreciate it but I hope if I do, I wanna be as independent as I can. Life is indeed short so why brood over nothing, over negativities when there are so many positivities and posibilities to explore.

I am glad to where I am today. I am thankful to God, Alhamdullilah. I hope to contribute more, I hope to live life to the fullest. I hope to be a good muslim. I hope to be remembered by future generations. It's hard to be 100% positive nowadays but I am trying my best and I hope I emit all these positive energy to the people around me and may they be filled with positivity.

Keep the faith.

100bucks

Usually u'd be delighted when u get a voucher worth $100 but it's actually adding headaches. With the variety of choices of mobile phones in the market, I just couldn't decide which one to get. It'll certainly help if Starhub sells Iphone....ok so it doesn't have Iphone. I'm torn whether should I get a phone at all. Aside from Apple, I love sony-ericsson and I am one who would stick to a particular brand for a very long time if it has no hiccups.

Later I will just head down to TM-Starhub and just try my luck trading in my w380i(cos there are 2 tiny cracks, probably from dropping it a couple of times). If it is tradable and I can use the $100 voucher and retain or renew a mobile plan...I'll get that Nokia-E71 or that Nokia5800 although E71 is way cheaper but I wanna have a look at N5800 first although high possibility I might not get it cos of budget constraints. However it is, I will go to TM-Starhub either tommorow or the day after.

Or will I give in to the darkside? LoL.....

fast in fast out

The phrase 'fast in fast out' is what my fellow race buddies advised me on how to negotiate corners at the track, just to shave on that valuable seconds. That sounds exciting but the phrase sure doesn't sound as exciting when it is applied to your cash flow.

The last post was just filled with joy when I discovered that I got more pay than I usually have. Ouh I begin to realize its not a pay adjustment but its more of a payback of my bonuses they owe me. Cos a non confirmed staff will not get their full bonus, so yeah thats my bonus for working from August to December. Thats like 4months?

So anyways back to the phrase....why it is applicable to my cash flow now? Cos I jus went to an appointment and apparently I need to go for an MRI which will cost me like $300-$475. Depending if I do need a contrast injection or not to enhance the image.

(ouh the bloody security just told me to unplug my charger to my laptop.....damn...I guess I have to fuck off from here then...will be continuing later if my battery goes kaput and I cant find a spot to continue...)

Pay adjustments?

My pay is more that what I usually got. I wonder if its pay adjustments cos I became a confirmed staff. I will check my payslip tomorrow. Whatever it is, Alhmadullilah.....

I so want to race but I have to keep in mind my responsibilities and come June, I have to renew my insurance. So I guess I'll resist the temptation.

I'm going to the orthopaedics later, wish me luck.....I hope I just need antibiotics instead of surgery. It's not the surgery that bothers me, it's the immobility that comes after that.

I'm still contemplating whether to bring up about my finger as well....

mere human

I am after all a mere human being, imperfect by nature.
Although that's no excuse but that is indeed a fact. No matter how smart, how tactful and how knowledgeable you are, you CAN make mistakes.
For me, I was complacent, I should have been more careful.
But what is done, is done and if the guilt do lingers, I have plans in mind.

There's so much for me to do now, I seem to learn things the hard way. I always did.

On Wednesday, 25th of February is my appointment with the orthopaedics.
We are all mere humans after all, we are not indestructable, we are susceptible to illness and diseases. The verdict on Wednesday might put my career path on the line, cos I might be having to take some medical leaves if I do need another surgery.

The appointment with the eye specialist in March is another worry that has struck me. Although it is less serious in nature but eyesight is one of the most important senses to men. I worry only will it affect me in old age. I am barely 30 and all of these begins to surface. Is it a punishment for my past wrong doings? Is it another test from God to see if Mohammed Siddiq Bin Ali is strong to face the challenges in life after the sweet moments.

In life.....everything in front laid before your eyes could go missing in a split second. So while you are able to.....do what you can to help the less fortunate. For me, I did but only till recently, till I join nursing but yet again I could do more. But I guess there is always a part of humans that exists, the ignorance.

I hope God give me the strength, health and guidance to go forward. I am hoping for the best and frankly I am not prepared for the worst but I am glad I have someone to allay all my worries and anxiety. For that, I thank God, Alhamdullilah.....and I thank the people involved too, who made what's written possible.

D-Day

Last night, the sms conversations we had just lifted my confidence in you one notch. thanks.

This morning, my Nurse-Manager actually made my day! During the pass-report time, he actually pointed out me and one of my colleague that's next in line for that advance dip. I don't know what to say, I was speechless when he commended me and my colleague. Although a part of me told me that I did some mistakes that really bothered me but the other part of me just keep telling me to just enjoy the ride and in fact, stride with it so the ride's faster and smoother....I don't even know if that make sense.

My point is, I'm give an opportunity and a 'key' on the table just for me to reach out and open the doors. I need to continue working hard and make sure I do a good job at it and no mistakes or at least minimal cos we are humans after all.

Whatever it is, I am psyched up, I hope nothing screws up, InsyahAllah.

I'm going for that check up later, I hope everything will be fine....

Alhamdullilah for all that I am blessed with...

Blessed

I am blessed....

-With a job with an iron 'rice-bowl'
-Faith is still in me.
-Great mom.
-Great partner.
-Great friends.
and so on.....

Although life ain't perfect, I'm glad I'm still doing better compared to many unfortunate souls.

Although I am not in the perfect health with knee-problems, poor eye-sight, etc....I am still glad, I am not disabled or down with chronic illnesses....

I'm just thankful, my life seems better....seems like its improving in many ways...

And it is even better to be accompanied by wonderful people around me. Currently Ain, has been accompanying me thru my journey.

The listening ears, the understanding, the faith in me she give is beyond anything I could've wished for. To think that there's many possibilities of shouldn't haves, we are like fated. Thanks to the people who made it possible and of course thanks to the One I believe in.

In short.....Alhamdullilah...

And may YOU guide me further.....InsyahAllah....

Shoppa

I went shopping! Yipee...

Well, nothing fantastic that I got myself....just...
At Ikea...
-a lime green ikea stool (for me to sit on when im surfing).
-black bath towel (cos my lime green one already have holes in them).
-1 ikea wall clock (my room lacking of one).

Collected from Thomas:
-1 MCCT for my bike for my next race(hopefully).

At Giant:
-1kg tub of mixed berries yoghurt (for calcium and good digestion).
-2litres of promegranade soya bean milk (for that calcium and protein intake).
-1 clorets ocean mint (to keep me awake in the seminar tommorow).
-1 bottle of Nescafe (coffee is my steroid).
-3kg of Fab detergent (cos it was on sale and supply running low).

At CK-Department Store
-Pantene shampoo
-Gatsby Lime green deodorant
-3 Oral-Bs
-Darlie triple pack Lime-mint toothpaste.
-Stain removing tooth paste.

Wah long day.....gonna clean up a little my room and then go to bed....

Miss my Ain....see u in about 18hrs or so.....

Gnite peeps.....

hopes

i wonder....if i would be in trouble....im just keeping my spirits up, hoping nothing goes wrong...

disappointment

i think she is disappointed in me, she should be and i am too at myself. i was well aware but then i gave in, i crossed the imaginary line.

to me now, she is the most important above everything.....yes these are mere words but then again, almost everything i strive for nowadays are not only for myself but with her in mind.

it's not wise to say i'm a mere human, cos i knew but i gave in. but then again, i am human.

i dunno wat else to write.....i only know i got myself to blame.

disappointed?

very. cos u forgot what u said last time.

Confirmed Mental

Good week this week....I pray so it carries on.....

I got confirmed today! woots! 7 days early my supposed confirmation date. Time flies I'm almost 6months old at IMH!

Speaking of flying....I'll be flying in April....woots! A week in Phuket! Can't wait.....

get noticed

The work smart thingy is coming into play.

Like today for instance, you retaliate nicely, then you say thanks and nobody even noticed your rebellion. I was just defending myself and being firm and not let be stepped on.

Getting noticed is another factor you need to consider, if you have opinions blurt it out. Well of course favourable ones. I just did at the talk and boy I was sure glad I did cos I got backed by a Nurse-clinician(a managerial level nurse who educates fellow nurses and colleagues).

I think I will attend more talks and probably have my own journal presentation. Of course it requires alot of work but if you do a good job, I'm sure you'd be spotted of your capabilities and probably stand a chance of climbing higher....

Unsleep

Yes...I'm suppose to be sleeping. I will soon....

Sigh....I just don't know....yeah maybe I should try to be more aware, conscious, rather than just think from my own perspective....

Yes, indeed I was a little selfish.....but still I wish...

Yes, I am serious, no joke.

Gnite all......So lazy to go to work tumoro, actually contemplating to take PH. Ouh nevermind, ill just drag myself to work tumoro....

If I was a pro-skater

itsy bitsy

Somehow i do believe every itsy bitsy things that happen does have a relation to the next of some sort....u know like the 'blessing in disguise' thingy or something liddat.

For instance today was suppose to meet up with mom but something crops up, she have to send my stepfather to the hospital.

Do you know, the higher you climb, when or IF you fall there's alot more damage done.

Anyways, I am going back to sleep....there's a pinch of disappointment in me but I can understand and I can get over it.....Good night everyone....

Life

Life has been rather busy lately....and it does help a little cos my Ain is away in Bkk. Today she will touch down Sg at about 2000hrs and yet again, I can't welcome her arrival cos of my shift duties. Missed her alot and looking forward to seeing her tomorrow....Yest's short chat on msn, really meant alot, cos it made me realize how much I really miss her.

My workload has been stabilized however, I'm always taking the risk at stuffs....there's a couple of things I still am not sure about but somehow I always pull it off...Ouh no worries, it has got nothing to do with patients, its the administrative stuffs......Yeah, nurses have to do all the shit too. We should have more allied workers, a clerk in our ward would help alot....definitely. But not having one also pushes my potential and shows the superiors I can multi-task.

Speaking of which, my senior-nurse manager just spoke to me last week, a brief conversation of how he wants to 'groom' me and hopes I will come back to forensic. He did mention about the sponsored degree, this morning it just came to mind, a couple of factors....
Will I be able to cope? Will I do well? Will I burn out? Will I be able to get guarantors to sign?

Of course the thought of getting sponsored is sweet but in actual fact, you are under alot of pressure to perform well and exceed expectations of many people and of course the extended bond, which is another risk that you have to take.

Ouh wells, I'd try not to think to much.....I'd only think of it when the time comes.....

Another issue came up to mind, the class3, initially with Ain, I don't see a need but then again, when I went out with Shahreil, Leo and Lil' Ryan last Thursday got me thinking....It will come in handy one day....

The Book

I was typing a long entry before I decided to delete it off. I think I am not there yet to write an entry something like that. However, I'll just write a short one to it.

Life is more than just skin deep, look further, look for your purpose, realize your responsibilities.

There's a reason for everything, there's a cause for everything, there's a lesson to be learned in everything.

Take that veil of your eyes, remove your hands from your ears, open up your heart.

Register what you see, hear and feel.

Eliminate all negativities, replace them with positivities. (this is still hard to accomplish totally)

The Fast Track

I've always enjoyed speed and apparently it's applying to my career path also(well at least the current one).

Amongst my batch, I can say I am one of the slower one to progress, my then classmates from engineering are now mostly there already. Car, family and own house....you get the picture. I screw up in the middle so I chose a different path, which I am glad I did.

Although as much as I don't want to blog something that is not confirmed yet, I can't resist but to blog on this one. I am a happy bunny today...

I was nominated for a couple of workgroups and now seminars. I was complaining a little about the increasing workload and the daily stressors until a couple of hours ago. In the morning my new nurse-manager actually told me it's good that I am exposing myself to the workgroups and all and advise me to strive further since I am still young(compared to him). He was like giving me encouragements and actually proud of me(fellow moslem, I must say). That already made my day but it did not stop there...My senior nurse manager wanted to talk to me bout the same issue as well but he was busy....Ok that's not it either....My other nurse-manager on afternoon shift talked to me just before I left, he said, they(the managers) are putting me on the 'fast-track'. I don't what to say but to thank them....although it is not confirmed yet but I can imagine where I am heading too....Alhamdullilah....

Now, I just pray I don't screw up and I pray for my health and well-being and may God grant me my wishes and probably not only make me happy but the ppl around me as well, like mom. InsyahAllah....

I need to put in more effort to make this all a reality.....wish me luck all....

The real 'culprit'

So there were we sending off Taibah and Azmin on their journey to Aussie which I've yet to go. It's good that I am accepted in Ain's circle of friends. That I am glad cos sometimes the tension can come from friends from either side.

So anyways, we had Popeye's piping hot(phew) chicken, was not cold like Ain said when she had them a couple of days ago. I didn't eat anything the whole day till popeyes, could you believe it? Wasn't hungry, was just tired and sleepy over the 2 night duties.

So after sending them off, we all went our separate ways...Hairul & Ross were heading to the floorball match, which we both were really not keen on. So something struck my mind that instance, something I had always wanted to tell Ain but haven't find the moment. It is about how it all started, where it all began. I was having this conversation on msn with Ross a couple of days ago, was like 'interrogating' her as to why she(&Hairul) chose to introduce me and not her other friends to Ain. It was really unexpected and I had no clue that such things would drive them to do so. I think it was fate.

So here the story goes....I brought Ain to Changi Coastal Boardwalk, telling her I wanted to tell her a story, something bout the place. It was only there that I said, "Ouh this is where it all started.." She had no clue still and I explained further and she was shocked....

It was there where it all started...It was the camera heads day out to shoot sunset. I was mad about sunset back then. I just had to capture every sunset with my film cameras. Little did I realize I was the only ancient one that is still shooting films that day. So as I happily whip out my loads of variety of film cameras, mainly lomos, Ross actually took notice of it and she recalled Ain had the same kinda of cameras. She told Hairul and the rest of the girls I guess which led to Hairul giving me Ain's friendster account a couple of days(?) later....which led to my never ending tries, which led to our hands finally being enclasped together finally.

I know its only been 2weeks but I've never loved you more, it grew day by day and I hope it will continue doing so in this journey of ours.

The Real 'Culprit'

the bestest

This period of time, is the bestest so far....

I've never felt so loved for such a long time...

We could just sit there for hours with the breeze blowing upon our faces just staring into space, speechless, quiet moments.

Love can do wonders.

Thanks.

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Who would've expected, who would've guessed, I didn't either...

But somehow everything seemed to fall into place just naturally, like me moving to the east.

But actually there's unknown help from the friends and of course the One above. Thank you.

i miss eu

off balance

I think im a little of balance...I'm glad I realize and I gotta kick myself in the rear again.

I've been enjoying life for the past few months...I've lived my dreams of racing, I've had the bike I always wanted. In short I fulfilled my wants, I enjoyed myself and yes it was hard-earned. And now its time for a hard-earned future.

I need to start planning, CPF only is definitely not sufficient. What I need now is to plan my expenditures and be balanced. I am forgoing alot of stuffs nowadays to accomodate, to try to balance. At my current state, I almost have everything I wanted/needed. I even have someone already.

I guess come my confirmation, it's time to start saving and probably investing, it's long overdue for someone turning 30 but yet its not too late.

I think(think only), I might forgo the class3 first, for I don't really see a need now. But then again....ouh let's drop the subject first....LoL

Anyways, I don't la...hehehe all I know is I'm looking forward to Tuesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

sleepless

I hope after this late entry I could sleep.

Anyway, went to watch Mystery Jets with Ain. It was a splendid performance minus my aching knee. They were good live and kudos to the lead being disabled and all and still able to make such good music. I hope Ain enjoyed it 100% cos my knee didn't permit me to stand for long due to the fall last race.

Anyways I'm the happiest now, hearing all that came from Ain, finally she's enabled to let it out, speak it out, express. :)

I'm happy with you, we were brought together somehow, someway, we ended up together. I gotta thank Hairul one of these days. :)

Gnite peeps will try to sleep....probably after Mafia wars and supermoto.sg

when?

Not a necessity

'when I have a boy, he'd be racing too!'

I don't need to be envious of something that is not a necessity. With this in mind, I will save myself alot of unnecessary pressure, stress and many more emotions so not needed, mainly the negativities.

But to be envious of certain stuffs does make a person driven. Then again it boils down to limits.

Okok, so in racing...looks & blings are secondary, speed, reliability of the monster between your legs is first. This applies to life too...you NEED a roof over your head not a castle, you might NEED a car not a Bentley or a Beemer. See where I am heading? It's just me, telling myself all these so that I can save some moolahs for my savings and as well to indulge in my speed-driven hobby.

K, nuff crap...

My knee's bothering me, not wearing that proper brace was the biggest mistake...I could've prevented it. I learned my lesson....Ain was right, I learn the hard way...LoL
But isn't that what makes a man stronger? LoL...ok I know crap...LoL

I can't wait to be well again....so I can run...loose some pounds and get that edge in my 2009 Championship rounds...I'm hoping to get top 5 by the end of the season, I wanted to say podium but I try not to be too ambitious.

I am hoping for an increment come my confirmation and I hope I get a big bonus come July, so I can save half for my future and half to soup up my suzee end of the year. I wanna be in the novice category next year....I wanna challenge the big boys...

I just hope supermoto will rise to a new level and gets recognition as a sport not just maniacs on engine driven monsters...LoL

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I find that, I'm much more calm than years back...I took a hard knock and I can get up and get at it again. I'm overjoyed over the top and yet I can maintain my calmness most times. For now I just hope this is my final one, if you know what I mean. I just hope nothing screws up....

Ok guys, gonna watch some DVDs my colleague loaned to me....gnite...

Free fotos of the action courtesy Sherman









Determination











I find that I can be a very determined person if I wanted to...

Yesterday's race was ubber challenging yet ubber tough, yet ubber painful. I fell twice, firstly as I was braking away from the crowd, 2nd when my lever got stuck due to the first fall. But I pressed on and managed to lap 2 riders bringing my position to 11th for the first heat.

The 2nd heat was just as exciting but a fall from the other rider slowed me down as I have to slow down to avoid them. I pressed on again and this time round just managed to get 10th place.

The overall results has not been released yet as a participant is pending disqualification as he doesn't really qualify for the category I participated in due to he has been to the podium and certainly not eligible for a supernovice category. So I might after all get a top 10 position woots! But out of 15 riders, well that's not really fantastic....I'm just pleased that my best lap timing of 50secs is not that far from that 48-49secs that the top riders of my category clocked....so meaning I just need to make every lap a perfect run and most probably I can get top 5 in the next round, sound too ambitious? It is achievable with much practise.

Looks like I'm going to spend more moolahs....I damaged my handguards and my helmet during the fall. Next in the shopping list are:

-A new full face helmet
-Handguards
-Unbreakable levers
-size 43 sprockets and chain
-race number plate
-radiator coolant + engine oil
-lap timer if i have extra cash.
-and of course new sets of rubbers, I heard dunlop Alpha-10 has pretty good feedbacks.

And on top of all that, my trip in April...woots...have to go on diet and less movies. LoL.

Now, my whole body's aching and my knees pretty stiff...I hope I can run on saturday. And I need to invest in a new knee brace, I think it's crucial during race days, yest was a big mistake to wear the nike one, should've worn the other with metal strips by the sides for added support and stability.

I'm waiting for the replies from the photographers, pretty rad pics but they are not giving it away for free....damn money shuckers....LoL but i'll give them credits for snapping away in the hot sun...

Finally

2nd January, end of something, beginning of another.

Tomorrow, race day, my Suzee done up, 3x3 mod, new air filter, new jets, everything unnecessary off. Wish me luck.

Love ya lots, you know who you are.

the joy

The joy u gave me, priceless. I am addicted, you are addictive.

29

I turned 29 yest and as I revealed to whom I considered dear recently, I don't really like celebrating it, I prefer a quiet thingy. Although the wishes does make one feel happy(thnks all) and going out does make one feel better. And why for those who wondered all these years as I don't really like my birthday's to be a big Huha...I shall reveal it today...

First of all, birthdays remind me that time flies and ouh don't get me wrong, I'm not actually concerned about getting older(but it does suck come to think of it), it's what I haven't achieve that's got me thinking.

But this year was a little different, being me got a stable job and much more peaceful life(as in less conflicts and all). I also felt different over the past year or two, I felt I had change in certain ways and I realized that I had done pretty ok so far. Like in a Supermoto race, it is my own race not anyone else's if I think otherwise, I will start to think I did badly in my OWN race. Get it?

So how I spent my birthday many would probably wonder for someone who doesn't really like a big party or celebration. I prefer to spend it either with my love ones or in some years on my own, giving myself a treat buying things I like, making myself happy. Today I got more than what I bargained for...

Ok, my bad, I underestimated her, I never thought she'd go out to get me something after I occupied her past few days that I wouldn't think she would be able to get me something and I actually thought she wouldn't bother. So actually I was already glad that she would spend time with me on my birthday, having a nice dinner with me. She actually asked me what I wanted before but I just told her I did not want anything from her cos probably she wouldn't know where to get what I wanted. But today she surprised me!

At the table during our meal, she handed me a small packet(an ang pow actually). It was suppose to be my present, a facial blotter that I frequently use and a little note/card. I already thought it was thoughtful of her to at least get me something where probably she didn't have the time to get me something since I fetched her straight from work but that was actually only a decoy.

Then as we about to leave after a walk in the park, she pulled out the real deal. Surprised and touched, I was pretty speechless. After reading the card, I palpate the package and I knew that I was going to get that nike-arm wallet that I wanted to get on my own and there was something else in it, which was a Zoo-York t-shirt. Ain was observant I must say to note what I wanted when we went out a couple of days ago. Thanks Ain, you made my day. If only you know how I felt just now, I guess then you will know how you are greatly appreciated and loved.

That was probably after donkey years since I got multiple presents and a surprise from somebody. I am thankful for today and I hope for more good days to come.

Gnite peeps and thanks all for the well wishes. Love you all.

29 0n 29

yes im 29 years old oredi. anyways...heres my dream bike
orange is not what i want oredi cos of the reliability issues many brought up. this is the rmz450 and it fucken rocks. if it gets road legal in sg. soon ud see this bike roaming to and fro imh...LoL

Inspirational

another source of inspiration>> German Supermoto

With the great news from Kied of Slackriders that there will be a half-dirt half-tarmac supermoto race if there's good response, I need all the inspiration I can get, all the strength, health and steel yarbles....LoL....See me jump in races to come....It's a dream come true balls......I'm an official racer under the SMSA, I'm registered and legal to participate in any event for 2009. LoL. Watch out for #311. Might not finish first but at least action speaks louder than words balls....

Getting better

Im getting better but am still not well for anything physical...

Sigh, haven't practice for 4th January's race...I hope that doesn't affect much. I will practice next week. And I haven't really tuned my bike.

I missed a run last Tuesday....sigh...but hey, there's always a blessing behind something unpleasant. That's what I always believe to keep my spirits up.

And I'm glad the way I am now.....

Only one thing left to do, after all settled down and probably after my confirmation, I am going to eye center for a check up for my poor vision.

And to all my celebrating friends, Merry Xmas.

I'm going to take a nap now.....taaaa....

Sick day 3

3 days and I'm still sick....gosh its such a drag if you're sick....

I've been on youtube watching dirt, mx and supercross videos...I just got this weird feeling I might be owning a dirtbike in the near future...LoL.....it's a bit late for someone turning 30 next year but I just wanna do rad things before I grow old, fragile and probably fat....LoL

And I bet when I have a kid, in his childhood he will get a mx for one of his birthdays. When I got my class 2b, my dad didn't want me to have his friend's sportbike cos he knew I will ride crazy in it but I didn't want that, I wanted what my classmate had, a Yamaha WR200 which is a rather hot MX bike back then, affordable yet powerful. Of course my request was declined and being a student with no cash, I couldn't say no to the beat up 3rd hand scooter that my father bought me. It's better than nothing.

Within a year, I sold off that beat up scooter and being a student with measely paid temporary jobs, I can only afford another scooter, a better and faster scooter and guess what, I raced with that scooter when the school compound turns into a temporary race circuit for me and Herman my classmate. Was rad, was fun till the front end hit the side of a kerb as I open throttle at a corner, the scooter flipped, chipped my tooth, lips bled, scar on my chest. The impact on my chest stopped me from breathing for a second or two but I was fine after that. From then on I got stuck to scooters since its cheap and all and soon I was mixing around with the scooter boys, thats where I grew into scootering and I fell in love with classics. But those who remembered riding with me, I still threw stupid stunts on a classic scooter, imagine a classic popping wheelies. LoL

In 2002-2003, Xr4 was like the craze back then, partly cos its affordable and a rad bike with loud stock pipe if you remove the silencer/diffuser. I wanted that so bad, I almost bought my friend's xr4 but my other half back then forbids me from doing so. I should've just went ahead with it had I known what would've happened. So anyways, the story carries on...

I switched to a gilera back in 2006 for a faster, speedier scooter...I switched partly cos I was sick of slow and unreliable classics. I almost bought a DRZ back then, cos that's the period when it got released, the SM version but I was afraid to commit cos I just got myself a new job and I don't know if I can cope. So anyways, I was still doing silly things on two wheels, I crashed my scooter after a month owning it, popping wheelies across a hump....LoL Yes, I was pretty silly back then.

So finally, here I am on a half-scrammie, the DRZ, racing legally in a circuit. Finally when I have a stable job, more authority over what I wanna do. Finally I am here, racing, what I always wanted to do as a fat kid back then, I still remembered racing my bmx with my cousin and looking at my uncle's photographs of him having lessons at pasir gudang, I guess that's when it fueled everything.

Being grown up and all, I know its not worth pulling stunts in public not in a proper gear and all cos I just flipped my bike pulling an endo and got 3 stitches for it about 2 months ago. I was lucky that I was still able to get up and ride again. Now, the only avenue I can feed my thirst is at the circuit and I will continue racing till I get sick of it....LoL...that I'm not sure when the time will come.

For those criticisms I get, hey at least its healthy, it's not a crime.

Now what I need to do is upgrade myself when the opportunity comes, get pay increments, get promotions, so that I can feed my hobby. I will retire when the time comes and when I need to.

sick

It's been quite some time since I got sick....and I hate being sick, feel so helpless, weak.

Jokes don't feel as funny, laughters not enjoyable anymore.....

I went out anyways, with Ain to Albert complex to look for watches, didn't buy any. Went for dinner at Tong Seng, although I finished the whole bowl but it wasn't an enjoyable meal cos of my sore throat....I decided that we go back after that cos like we were directionless and I had little mood to think of something to do.

Sigh....looks like I have to work today in this state but fret not cos Tuesday is my off day and I think I wanna take leave on Wednesday, so at least if I'm not well to run on Tuesday I can run on Wednesday. Furthermore the track only opens from Wednesday to Sunday, I can practice for the upcoming race on 4th January. And I do not like working afternoon shifts, although there's less work to do.

Sigh....I'm not even in the mood to type some more....