deranged

i think i am crazy inside...muahahaha....anyway 2 more hurdles before the real exam, tumro sociology test n my assignment..

was speaking of raya preps.....haha up till now, i havent done anything.....forget it la...at most i prepare the change for the kids.. cant be bothered anyway......new clothes? for wat? hehehe......anyways i feel raya is when u can see all the hypocrites surface from their hideout.....damn these ppl, they cry, apologise and do again....immediately after they leave, they gossip, its like wtf? anyways....tt is why i never conform to the norm every year, i never ask for forgiveness from all, only a certain ppl...cos i dont see a point.......

im like a deviant here....not conforming to the social norms or culture.......watever la eh.... i only know i owe my mom alot of things....and i owe her an apology for still not being so responsible to the household as an adult.......

my plans for this year, raya night, visit my yai, then my nenek and if no time, my nyai the next morning.....again i wont get to see my biological father....cos he's in jakarta....i just doa for his happiness down there with ibu' yanti and my half-siblings.....

my classmates want to organize a jln raya, i didnt turn them down just now but i guess i will, cos frankly i have no mood for raya, its very different dis year....i know every year theres no real happiness except the success of completing 30days of fasting though not perfect at all......i just hope i have mood to tag with the bb boys or the gilly boys and hopefully they as usual make me feel belonged and tt instant smile n laughter upon my face....no, im not sad.....just pressured....hahaha

i miss my frens...serious......honest.....i wish i could meet them....but i have to fulfill my role as a student and a son....tt is to do well and not disappoint my mom....although i have a role as a fren......but i know u guys understand....love ya guys...
ouh, as i was riding back, skurvy came to mind, i think ill change boba to skurvy....all black with huge skurvy on the side, wadda ya think?

okok la gotta mug for tumoros paper already 7minutes behind schedule.